Here's when all your favorite shows are returning this Spring:
JANUARY
3rd - Sunday
9pm Desperate Housewives (ABC)
10pm Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
4th - Monday
8pm Heroes (NBC)
8pm The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family)
9pm Make It or Break It (ABC Family)
5th - Tuesday
10pm The Good Wife (CBS)
6th - Wednesday
8pm Mercy (NBC)
8:30pm The Middle (ABC)
9pm Modern Family (ABC)
9:30pm Cougar Town (ABC)
10pm Ugly Betty (ABC)
8th - Friday
9pm Dollhouse (FOX)
10th - Sunday
9pm Chuck (NBC)
10pm Hung (HBO)
11th - Monday
8pm How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
8pm Chuck (NBC)
8:30pm Accidentally on Purpose (CBS)
9pm Two and a Half Men (CBS)
9:30pm The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
10pm Castle (ABC)
13th - Wednesday
8pm New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
8:30pm Gary Unmarried (CBS)
10pm Leverage (TNT)
14th - Thursday
8pm Community (NBC)
8pm Bones (FOX)
8pm The Vampire Diaries (The CW)
8:30pm Parks and Recreation (NBC)
9pm 30 Rock (NBC)
9pm Fringe (FOX)
9pm Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
10pm The Mentalist (CBS)
17th - Sunday
8pm Human Target*** (FOX)
9pm 24 (FOX)
18th - Monday
8pm One Tree Hill (The CW)
9pm Life Unexpected*** (The CW)
8pm 24 (FOX)
19th - Tuesday
10pm White Collar (USA)
21st - Thursday
8pm The Vampire Diaries (The CW)
8pm The Deep End*** (ABC)
9pm The Office (NBC)
10pm Burn Notice (USA)
22nd - Friday
8pm Smallville (The CW)
25th - Monday
10pm Greek (ABC Family)
27th - Wednesday
10pm Psych (USA)
FEBRUARY
2nd - Tuesday
9pm Lost (ABC)
MARCH
1st - Monday
9pm Parenthood (NBC)
4th - Thursday
8pm FlashForward (ABC)
8th - Monday
8pm Gossip Girl (The CW)
9th - Tuesday
8pm 90210
9pm Melrose Place
30th - Friday
10pm V (ABC)
APRIL
13th - Tuesday
9pm Glee (FOX)
Word is still out on NBC's "Trauma" and FOX's "Lie to Me."
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
FILM: Must-See Films of 2009
Hundreds of films hit theaters in 2009, but the chances of you seeing all of them before hundreds more premiere is highly unlikely (and ill-advised). So here are a few don't-miss-out suggestions to add to your Netflix queue:
Away We Go
[Modern Romantic Comedy]
Normally, romantic comedies regurgitate familiar storylines and protagonists. John Krasinski ("The Office") and Maya Rudolph ("SNL"), however, brought to life two characters who embody our wayward generation. Presented with the pros and cons of both traditional and untraditional families, they are faced with the task of determining how they'd like to build their own. Whereas most rom-coms show the evolution of a couple's love, this film explores the depth of it.
The Hangover
[Wild Comedy]
We all know that Vegas is the place to go for a night of debauchery and an unforgettable experience that you ironically won't remember. But never has there been a film that has highlighted all the trouble you can get into within Sin City, with a little extra—that extra being either the tiger in the bathroom or the random baby in the closet, because that whole naked-Asian-in-your-trunk thing could totally happen. It almost makes you want to go to Vegas. Almost.
Avatar
[Epic Adventure]
On the surface, it would seem that director/writer James Cameron created an entirely new world, complete with an alien species, mysterious creatures, and a foreign language. Many have refuted that fact on Twitter and in the blogosphere, claiming that it's just a rip-off of the barely-seen Delgo, and the 90s childhood favorite FernGully. The truth is, not only is Avatar far more superior in visuals, plot, and dialogue, but what it copies isn't previously released tales, but history itself. Cameron tactfully delivers the message that humans are a destructive and opportunistic species that need to respect the Earth, a message that practically defines this generation's main agenda.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
[Supernatural Family Film]
It's Harry Potter. Every one of the saga's films is a sight to be seen, an incredible illustration of an even more incredible novel. This one depicted the acquisition of Voldemort's horcruxes and the death of Professor Dumbledore. It also began the imminent unveiling of who Voldemort used to be, providing a parallel between our hero and his enemy. It's the best tale of good vs. evil that this generation's had the pleasure of seeing.
Star Trek
[Sci-Fi Adventure]
I have never seen any version of Star Trek. Not one. However, this film can make a Trekkie out of any viewer. It's the combination of great characters, mindblowing action, snippy dialogue, and nods to the old sagas that make it fun for all. Plus, JJ Abrams had the brilliant idea of slightly whiping the slate clean—not only rebooting the franchise, but using time travel to allow our heroes to set their lives on a course that hasn't been written yet. New course = New saga. Bring it.
(500) Days of Summer
[Unorthodox Rom-Com]
I think Joseph Gordon Levitt is like the Johnny Depp of his generation. He can sell anything. In the last decade, he's graduated from goofy dork roles like 10 Things I Hate About You to gritty mysteries like Brick, provocative and unconventional stories of adolescence like Mysterious Skin, and heart-breaking war stories like Stop-Loss. But my favorite has to be this quirky little anti-love story about a guy who falls in love with a girl who doesn't believe in it. One may say that this is an unrealistic (or an idealistic) portrayal of how a man falls in love, because of that wretched rumor about them just being interested in sex, but for 95 minutes he has you strapped in to this rollercoaster of a love affair, rooting him on when he's winning her heart, and holding back your snickers when he's overreacting to her rejections. I'm assuming some people cried in certain parts, but I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculously devoted he was to a woman he barely knew (and who was barely worth the hassle). It certainly felt like 500 excruciating days of Summer, and I was all too happy to transition into Autumn.
Zombieland
[Horror Comedy]
I don't watch scary movies unless there's a substantial amount of action and comedy, and this film had both. Considering that Rhett Reese's biggest writing credit was Cruel Intentions 3, and Paul Wernick had never written a feature film before, all signs were pointing to a hit-or-miss. However, the screenwriters managed to amuse viewers with the random rules of surviving a zombie apocalypse, using a dorky introvert (Jesse Eisenberg) as their mouthpiece, while reigniting the flickering flame of Woody Harrelson's career and showing Hollywood that Abigail Breslin is capable of much more than looking adorable. Fans of the film are eager for a sequel, the next chapter in the makeshift family's adventure across a plague-stricken America, and even more eager to learn the rest of the rules for staying alive. My favorite? Double tap! lol
Whip It
[Estrogen Smackdown]
Drew Barrymore has come a long way in the last decade. She started it off producing and starring in the girl-powered action flick Charlie's Angels, faltered a bit with rom-com duds (Duplex, Fever Pitch, and Music and Lyrics), and even sold her soul voicing a little dog (Beverly Hills Chihuahua). But soon she recovered, executive producing the delightful rom-com He's Just Not That Into You, while representing the self-depracating, technologically-inundated, modern woman. She then spent a year slipping into the peculiar skin of Edith Bouvier Beale in the HBO mini-series "Grey Gardens," scoring her first Emmy nod. Then she topped it all off with her directorial debut Whip It, showcasing some of the baddest chicks in not only rollerderby, but in show business: up and comers Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat, Kristen Wiig, and Ari Graynor. She is most certainly a feminist pioneer of the decade.
He's Just Not That Into You
[Romance Ensemble]
I'm a huge fan of ensemble romance comedies (i.e. Love Actually). So eventhough the critics knocked this film for its star-studded cast and so-called idealistic portrayal of love, I was impressed with how well it managed to complete each storyline (despite how many there were), without making all of them end perfectly. My favorite character was Gigi. She was beyond funny as a hopeless romantic who was determined to comprehend love, like it was a school subject, and master it so that she can obtain it. It was like she was on a life's quest. What was even more fantastic is how much she grew under the tutelage of the clueless boy who would eventually be the one. They cured each other of their romantic flaws and that's what love is supposed to be about. Right?
Terminator Salvation
[Post-Apocalyptic Adventure]
I, like every red-blooded American, get chills when I hear the words, "I'll be back." It's one of the most iconic catchphrases in film history. The original trilogy was a paranoid prediction of what would happen if technology became self-aware, and what it truly means to be human. It dealt with the ominous future, and McG wanted to bring us there and face it head on. While all the timing can get a little confusing, all you really need to know is that John Connor is all grown up and he has a new metallic ally to help him reclaim the Earth. The saga has been rebooted, and if we're lucky we'll get to see how the humans use and treat technology once the new era begins. Will humans and Artificial Intelligence ever live in harmony?
I Love You Man
[Brom-Com]
Bromances have been really prominent this decade, from Wedding Crashers to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry to The Hangover. But this film successfully incorporated the classic romantic comedy formula to truly emphasize the homoerotic connotations of a male friendship without being crass, cheesy, or homophobic. It also relaunched Paul Rudd's career, and only Clueless fans understand how epic that truly is.
Public Enemies
[Criminal Bio-Drama]
Rarely can you watch a film where you fall in love with a gun-toting, homocidal, criminal protagonist. I know what you're thinking. It's Johnny Depp. Of course, you fell in love with him. Oh, no. I fell for John Dillinger, a 1930s bank robber, who never felt more alive than when he was in danger. He wandered around police precincts in broad daylight, swept a feisty dame off her feet, and broke out of jails like they were detention. By far the coolest low-tech bank robber I've ever seen. Jesse James can suck it.
Fanboys
[Geek Fest]
You have to love a film that champions classic geek porn, Star Wars, and does so in the name of granting a terminally ill bff's last wish. It manages to keep you entertained with the insidery references, including the longstanding rivalry with Trekkies, while tugging at the heart-strings.
Paper Heart
[Mockumentary]
There are mixed feelings about this quirky mockumentary that explores the idea of not believing in true love or Prince Charmings. That sounds like a downer, but Charlyne Yi doesn't come off as dismissive or condescending. It's simply a different perspective of what defines love, how you know you've found it, and how it changes you. She brings up a few interesting points, like "I want to be his girlfriend, but I don't want to be THE girlfriend. No one ever remembers the girlfriend." Along with her goofy behavior and her awkward dates with Michael Cera, I really liked the stop-motion recreations of love stories told by longtime lovebirds. They were beautifully made.
17 Again
[Teen Rom-Com]
Okay before you puke at the idea of a woman twice Zac Efron's age tonguing him down, I would like to perpetuate the longstanding belief that it's okay for a woman to take advantage of a young man and not for a man to take advantage of a young woman. Honestly, if the tables were turned and Matthew Perry were the one falling in love with his teenage wife, this movie would've been blacklisted. However, the lovely Leslie Mann skirted the boundary of perversion well enough to make this both humorous and romantic. Zac did a good job of picking up a few of Perry's manerisms and acting like an overprotective dad. Thomas Lennon, who played his bff, did an incredible job of carrying half the film comedically, and stealing every scene he was in. The breakout of the film, however, had to be Sterling Knight, who kept the laughs coming with his deadpan deliveries and dorky behavior.
Confessions of a Shopaholic
[Girls Night In]
This is supposed to be vapid and materialistic fodder for women who used to watch "Sex and the City" religiously (and probably still do on DVD). So if you put aside any interest in seeing something deep, you can enjoy the story of a budding journalist, a struggling New Yorker within a downward economy, and, best of all, a girl who values Gucci over guys. Plus, it's a starring vehicle for Isla Fisher to showcase her comedic skills, who, in spite of her marriage to Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat), is effortlessly amusing.
The Proposal
[Slapstick]
I wasn't sold on the idea of Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock as a couple. But individually, they were extremely funny. I will never get the vision of Sandra Bullock dancing and singing Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys' song "From the Window to the Wall" out of my head. Fellow office drones commiserated with Ryan whenever he mumbled an insult. And of course I'd be lying if I didn't say that their nude scene wasn't permanently burned into my retina either. The added bonus was a seemingly revitalized Betty White, who's been making the rounds like her Social Security was revoked.
If you've seen all of these or are in dire need of more, I'd also recommend John Krasinski's examination of romantic relationships Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, the uplifting Kevin Spacey-Keke Palmer indie drama Shrink, and the inspiring Amy Adams-Emily Blunt family drama Sunshine Cleaning.
My own personal 2009 movie list is still pretty long. I still want to see: Up in the Air, The Hurt Locker, In the Loop, 9, St. Trinian's, Fame, Couples Retreat, New York I Love You, The Men Who Stare at Goats, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Easy Virtue, and Bandslam. If I'm missing any, feel free to suggest some in the comments.
For even more film recommendations, follow me, RainyDayMovies, on Twitter!
[Modern Romantic Comedy]
Normally, romantic comedies regurgitate familiar storylines and protagonists. John Krasinski ("The Office") and Maya Rudolph ("SNL"), however, brought to life two characters who embody our wayward generation. Presented with the pros and cons of both traditional and untraditional families, they are faced with the task of determining how they'd like to build their own. Whereas most rom-coms show the evolution of a couple's love, this film explores the depth of it.
[Wild Comedy]
We all know that Vegas is the place to go for a night of debauchery and an unforgettable experience that you ironically won't remember. But never has there been a film that has highlighted all the trouble you can get into within Sin City, with a little extra—that extra being either the tiger in the bathroom or the random baby in the closet, because that whole naked-Asian-in-your-trunk thing could totally happen. It almost makes you want to go to Vegas. Almost.
[Epic Adventure]
On the surface, it would seem that director/writer James Cameron created an entirely new world, complete with an alien species, mysterious creatures, and a foreign language. Many have refuted that fact on Twitter and in the blogosphere, claiming that it's just a rip-off of the barely-seen Delgo, and the 90s childhood favorite FernGully. The truth is, not only is Avatar far more superior in visuals, plot, and dialogue, but what it copies isn't previously released tales, but history itself. Cameron tactfully delivers the message that humans are a destructive and opportunistic species that need to respect the Earth, a message that practically defines this generation's main agenda.
[Supernatural Family Film]
It's Harry Potter. Every one of the saga's films is a sight to be seen, an incredible illustration of an even more incredible novel. This one depicted the acquisition of Voldemort's horcruxes and the death of Professor Dumbledore. It also began the imminent unveiling of who Voldemort used to be, providing a parallel between our hero and his enemy. It's the best tale of good vs. evil that this generation's had the pleasure of seeing.
[Sci-Fi Adventure]
I have never seen any version of Star Trek. Not one. However, this film can make a Trekkie out of any viewer. It's the combination of great characters, mindblowing action, snippy dialogue, and nods to the old sagas that make it fun for all. Plus, JJ Abrams had the brilliant idea of slightly whiping the slate clean—not only rebooting the franchise, but using time travel to allow our heroes to set their lives on a course that hasn't been written yet. New course = New saga. Bring it.
[Unorthodox Rom-Com]
I think Joseph Gordon Levitt is like the Johnny Depp of his generation. He can sell anything. In the last decade, he's graduated from goofy dork roles like 10 Things I Hate About You to gritty mysteries like Brick, provocative and unconventional stories of adolescence like Mysterious Skin, and heart-breaking war stories like Stop-Loss. But my favorite has to be this quirky little anti-love story about a guy who falls in love with a girl who doesn't believe in it. One may say that this is an unrealistic (or an idealistic) portrayal of how a man falls in love, because of that wretched rumor about them just being interested in sex, but for 95 minutes he has you strapped in to this rollercoaster of a love affair, rooting him on when he's winning her heart, and holding back your snickers when he's overreacting to her rejections. I'm assuming some people cried in certain parts, but I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculously devoted he was to a woman he barely knew (and who was barely worth the hassle). It certainly felt like 500 excruciating days of Summer, and I was all too happy to transition into Autumn.
[Horror Comedy]
I don't watch scary movies unless there's a substantial amount of action and comedy, and this film had both. Considering that Rhett Reese's biggest writing credit was Cruel Intentions 3, and Paul Wernick had never written a feature film before, all signs were pointing to a hit-or-miss. However, the screenwriters managed to amuse viewers with the random rules of surviving a zombie apocalypse, using a dorky introvert (Jesse Eisenberg) as their mouthpiece, while reigniting the flickering flame of Woody Harrelson's career and showing Hollywood that Abigail Breslin is capable of much more than looking adorable. Fans of the film are eager for a sequel, the next chapter in the makeshift family's adventure across a plague-stricken America, and even more eager to learn the rest of the rules for staying alive. My favorite? Double tap! lol
Whip It
[Estrogen Smackdown]
Drew Barrymore has come a long way in the last decade. She started it off producing and starring in the girl-powered action flick Charlie's Angels, faltered a bit with rom-com duds (Duplex, Fever Pitch, and Music and Lyrics), and even sold her soul voicing a little dog (Beverly Hills Chihuahua). But soon she recovered, executive producing the delightful rom-com He's Just Not That Into You, while representing the self-depracating, technologically-inundated, modern woman. She then spent a year slipping into the peculiar skin of Edith Bouvier Beale in the HBO mini-series "Grey Gardens," scoring her first Emmy nod. Then she topped it all off with her directorial debut Whip It, showcasing some of the baddest chicks in not only rollerderby, but in show business: up and comers Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat, Kristen Wiig, and Ari Graynor. She is most certainly a feminist pioneer of the decade.
[Romance Ensemble]
I'm a huge fan of ensemble romance comedies (i.e. Love Actually). So eventhough the critics knocked this film for its star-studded cast and so-called idealistic portrayal of love, I was impressed with how well it managed to complete each storyline (despite how many there were), without making all of them end perfectly. My favorite character was Gigi. She was beyond funny as a hopeless romantic who was determined to comprehend love, like it was a school subject, and master it so that she can obtain it. It was like she was on a life's quest. What was even more fantastic is how much she grew under the tutelage of the clueless boy who would eventually be the one. They cured each other of their romantic flaws and that's what love is supposed to be about. Right?
[Post-Apocalyptic Adventure]
I, like every red-blooded American, get chills when I hear the words, "I'll be back." It's one of the most iconic catchphrases in film history. The original trilogy was a paranoid prediction of what would happen if technology became self-aware, and what it truly means to be human. It dealt with the ominous future, and McG wanted to bring us there and face it head on. While all the timing can get a little confusing, all you really need to know is that John Connor is all grown up and he has a new metallic ally to help him reclaim the Earth. The saga has been rebooted, and if we're lucky we'll get to see how the humans use and treat technology once the new era begins. Will humans and Artificial Intelligence ever live in harmony?
[Brom-Com]
Bromances have been really prominent this decade, from Wedding Crashers to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry to The Hangover. But this film successfully incorporated the classic romantic comedy formula to truly emphasize the homoerotic connotations of a male friendship without being crass, cheesy, or homophobic. It also relaunched Paul Rudd's career, and only Clueless fans understand how epic that truly is.
[Criminal Bio-Drama]
Rarely can you watch a film where you fall in love with a gun-toting, homocidal, criminal protagonist. I know what you're thinking. It's Johnny Depp. Of course, you fell in love with him. Oh, no. I fell for John Dillinger, a 1930s bank robber, who never felt more alive than when he was in danger. He wandered around police precincts in broad daylight, swept a feisty dame off her feet, and broke out of jails like they were detention. By far the coolest low-tech bank robber I've ever seen. Jesse James can suck it.
[Geek Fest]
You have to love a film that champions classic geek porn, Star Wars, and does so in the name of granting a terminally ill bff's last wish. It manages to keep you entertained with the insidery references, including the longstanding rivalry with Trekkies, while tugging at the heart-strings.
Paper Heart
[Mockumentary]
There are mixed feelings about this quirky mockumentary that explores the idea of not believing in true love or Prince Charmings. That sounds like a downer, but Charlyne Yi doesn't come off as dismissive or condescending. It's simply a different perspective of what defines love, how you know you've found it, and how it changes you. She brings up a few interesting points, like "I want to be his girlfriend, but I don't want to be THE girlfriend. No one ever remembers the girlfriend." Along with her goofy behavior and her awkward dates with Michael Cera, I really liked the stop-motion recreations of love stories told by longtime lovebirds. They were beautifully made.
[Teen Rom-Com]
Okay before you puke at the idea of a woman twice Zac Efron's age tonguing him down, I would like to perpetuate the longstanding belief that it's okay for a woman to take advantage of a young man and not for a man to take advantage of a young woman. Honestly, if the tables were turned and Matthew Perry were the one falling in love with his teenage wife, this movie would've been blacklisted. However, the lovely Leslie Mann skirted the boundary of perversion well enough to make this both humorous and romantic. Zac did a good job of picking up a few of Perry's manerisms and acting like an overprotective dad. Thomas Lennon, who played his bff, did an incredible job of carrying half the film comedically, and stealing every scene he was in. The breakout of the film, however, had to be Sterling Knight, who kept the laughs coming with his deadpan deliveries and dorky behavior.
[Girls Night In]
This is supposed to be vapid and materialistic fodder for women who used to watch "Sex and the City" religiously (and probably still do on DVD). So if you put aside any interest in seeing something deep, you can enjoy the story of a budding journalist, a struggling New Yorker within a downward economy, and, best of all, a girl who values Gucci over guys. Plus, it's a starring vehicle for Isla Fisher to showcase her comedic skills, who, in spite of her marriage to Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat), is effortlessly amusing.
[Slapstick]
I wasn't sold on the idea of Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock as a couple. But individually, they were extremely funny. I will never get the vision of Sandra Bullock dancing and singing Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys' song "From the Window to the Wall" out of my head. Fellow office drones commiserated with Ryan whenever he mumbled an insult. And of course I'd be lying if I didn't say that their nude scene wasn't permanently burned into my retina either. The added bonus was a seemingly revitalized Betty White, who's been making the rounds like her Social Security was revoked.
If you've seen all of these or are in dire need of more, I'd also recommend John Krasinski's examination of romantic relationships Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, the uplifting Kevin Spacey-Keke Palmer indie drama Shrink, and the inspiring Amy Adams-Emily Blunt family drama Sunshine Cleaning.
My own personal 2009 movie list is still pretty long. I still want to see: Up in the Air, The Hurt Locker, In the Loop, 9, St. Trinian's, Fame, Couples Retreat, New York I Love You, The Men Who Stare at Goats, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Easy Virtue, and Bandslam. If I'm missing any, feel free to suggest some in the comments.
For even more film recommendations, follow me, RainyDayMovies, on Twitter!
FILM: The 2009 "Bad Year" Report Card of Hollywood Actors
Bad Breakout Moments
These actors were given major opportunities to breakout this year, headlining their own films, TV series, or potential franchises, but they failed miserably. Check out their foibles and the prospects that might redeem them.
Megan Fox
Ever since a dorky Jew by the name of Shia Labeouf stumbled through an action movie called Transformers, this fiery vixen has been living in his metallic shadow. Last year, she attempted to break free with a supporting role in the horrifically adapted novel How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, but that tanked. Her breakout role, however, was supposed to be full-proof. Diablo Cody plus nudity plus the horror comedy genre had to equal major hit, right? Negative. Not only were critics thoroughly unimpressed with Cody’s second writing credit, but even teenagers didn’t flock to theaters to see the Fox in all her glory.
Second Shot: She just finished filming a second fiddle role to Josh Brolin in the mystical Western Jonah Hex. She’s currently filming Passion Play with Mickey Rourke, playing a gangster-controlled angel. Soon she’ll shoot the crime thriller The Crossing, about a couple that get mixed up in drug trafficking during their Mexican vacation.
Alex Bledel
After graduating with honors from “Gilmore Girls,” the only surefire role she had was in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants saga. She branched out this year with starring roles in The Good Guy and Post Grad, both of which were released as indies and practically ignored by everyone.
Second Shot: She’ll co-star with Robin Wright Penn, James McAvoy, Evan Rachel Wood, and Justin Long in The Conspiracy, a drama about the trial for Abraham Lincoln’s assassination conspirators. If she can manage to shine here and catch the eye of a director in search of a muse, then maybe she won’t have to return to TV…not that that would be such a bad idea.
Justin Chatwin
After co-starring as a major douche in the surreal indie The Chumscrubber and playing Tom Cruise’s stubborn, battle-bound son in War of the Worlds, he had his first starring role in 2007's mystery thriller The Invisible. Despite its box office failure, he managed to secure a leading role in the adaptation of Dragonball: Evolution, disregarding the fact that the lead character in the famous Japanese animation is Asian. Failure was imminent after the first wave of online disapproval rolled in. It was pretty much official once everyone saw the trailer, complete with a ridiculous excuse for a villain.
Second Shot: He’s about to start shooting the indie drama Riding the Pine with Matt Long (“Jack & Bobby”) and Jaime King. I doubt it’ll lead to anything major, but maybe he’ll finally display some acting chops.
Kristin Kreuk
Finally ending her arc on “Smallville” (and freeing us from ever having to hear her scream for Clark again), she became free to start her film career. Unfortunately, it ended almost as quickly as it started. The trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li looked relatively good. Her combat skills were impressive for someone who had been playing a damsel in distress for almost a decade. However, all of the other actors were really bad. In fact, each of them deserves their own Razzie. I guess playing a stereotypical Asian isn’t always full-proof.
Second Shot: She just wrapped the religious ABC miniseries “Ben Hur.” She’ll play the leprosy afflicted sister of the title character, who gets cured by Jesus. Hopefully, it’ll cleanse her of her previous sins against celluloid.
Demetri Martin
He's a really funny guy, which you can tell by the content of his hit Comedy Central TV show “Important Things with Demetri Martin.” Unfortunately, he wasn’t funny enough to attract viewers to watch Ang Lee’s recreation of a seminal music experience in the adaptation of Elliot Tiber’s novel Taking Woodstock. Despite Lee’s track record, fans were uninterested and critics were unimpressed.
Second Shot: He'll costar in a comedy he wrote called Will, about a guy who must live an unscripted life after the scribe who used to write his every move quits. Then he'll star in another comedy he wrote called Moon People, where a team that colonized the moon return to Earth.
The Cast of Fame
With the success of “Glee” and the popularity of dance films like Step Up, the film was expected to sweep the box office. The cast, by association, should’ve had their breakout moments, impressing the masses with their singing and dancing abilities. But anyone who heard the soundtrack knew that they could pass for everyday Popstars, but they’re no “Glee.”
Second Shot: Naturi Naughton will appear in the dramedy Highland Park with Danny Glover, the ghetto comedy Lottery Ticket with Bow Wow, and the coming-of-age drama Four to the Floor.
Former CW star Kay Panabaker (“Summerland”) will appear in the indie drama The Lake Effect and the horror thriller The Disembodied.
Collins Pennie is rumored to be cast in the crime thriller Criminal Empire for Dummies, which also stars Chris Evans, Rachel Bilson, and Harvey Keitel.
Walter Perez is rumored to be appearing in the Catherine Hardwicke-directed adaptation of Hamlet, starring Emile Hirsch.
Anna Maria Perez de Tagle has a part in the Disney musical Camp Rock: The Final Jam, the adaptation of Reno Ursal’s dramatic novel A Forgotten Innocence, and the sports dramedy Bleachers.
Matt Czuchry
The charismatic charmer debuted his dimples on “Gilmore Girls,” and even tried to sweet talk his way into Lyla’s heart using God on “Friday Night Lights.” Attempting to segue into feature films, he starred in the misogynistic comedy I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
Second Shot: Luckily, he’s secured a role on the hit CBS drama “The Good Wife,” playing an obnoxious, opportunistic junior attorney.
Sara Paxton
She had a real shot at headlining her own series. She’s blonde, beautiful, and a fresh face. Unfortunately, no one was interested in the hard life of a model, so “The Beautiful Life” wad doomed from the start.
Second Shot: She’s rumored to be starring in the horror romance Emma of Lulworth Cove.
Sebastian Stan
I was so bummed when his NBC series “Kings” was cancelled and his mischievous character on “Gossip Girl” just turned to crap. His film record isn’t too impressive either, having starred as the power-hungry villain in The Covenant, the little-watched indie drama The Education of Charlie Banks, and the practically ignored Ashton Kutcher indie Spread.
Second Shot: He just wrapped the John Cusack comedy Hot Tub Time Machine. He’s currently filming the Natalie Portman-driven dramatic thriller Black Swan. And soon he’ll start filming the horror thriller The Apparition.
DIMINISHING STAR POWER
These actors have already had their shot in the limelight, but they've been having a little trouble maintaining the glow. Was their latest film the last nail in their professional coffin, or can they win us over again?
Clive Owen
The rugged Brit had a lucky streak ever since he played the title character in King Arthur. He followed it up with the critically approved Closer and Sin City, wavered a bit with Derailed, and then rebounded with his official breakout roles Inside Man and Children of the Men. You could say he peaked too soon in 2006, since what followed were a number of box office duds that continue even now in 2009: Shoot ‘Em Up, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, The International, and Duplicity. But given the critical praise for his most recent film, the Australian dramatic indie The Boys Are Back, maybe his cold streak is on its way to heating up.
Up next: He’s currently filming the David Schwimmer-directed (Run Fat Boy Run) pedophile drama Trust with Catherine Keener (Where the Wild Things Are) and Viola Davis (Doubt); he’s rumored to have a role in the upcoming Sinatra biopic; and plans for an Inside Man sequel are underway.
Seth Rogen
Ever since his breakout role in Knocked Up, there was no escaping this Frat Pack alum, whether he was taking bit roles in Superbad, Step Brothers, and Fanboys, or voice roles in The Spiderwick Chronicles, Horton Hears a Who!, and Kung Fu Panda. But just when we thought he hit his stride with Pineapple Express, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and Funny People, the only box office coup he had this year was Monsters vs. Aliens.
Up Next: He’ll voice the only animated character in the alien comedy Paul, and continue voicing a character in the Kung Fu Panda sequel, subtitled The Kaboom of Doom. But he hasn’t given up on live action just yet. Not only will he star alongside James McAvoy in the comedy I’m with Cancer, which sounds like a lighter version of Funny People, he’ll fearlessly star and co-write the comic book adaptation of The Green Hornet, potentially revamping everyone’s perception of him as a leading man.
Will Ferrell
The last time I laughed at something Will Ferrell did was in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and that was barely. His best film is actually Stranger Than Fiction, but even that was three years ago. He’s been spiraling down ever since, running the sports-related comedy genre into the ground with Blades of Glory and Semi-Pro. And then he officially murdered any chemistry he had with John C. Reilly in Step Brothers, resulting in his reinitiation into the genre that officially launched his career when Elf hit theaters: family comedies. Unfortunately, that mutated into Land of the Lost, which is rated lower on RT then both Bewitched and Hot Rod. That’s low. I personally think the worst move he did all year was The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, which was the most excruciatingly corny and unfunny pile of crap I've seen…and I saw All About Steve.
Up next: Starting the new decade off right, he’ll voice the villain in the animated anti-superhero comedy Megamind, alongside Brad Pitt, Tina Fey, and Jonah Hill (Superbad). Then he’ll play a detective in Talladega director Adam McKay’s comedy The Other Guys with Mark Wahlberg as his partner. It’s a truly start-studded cast that includes Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Anne Heche, Steve Coogan, and Damon Wayans Jr (Dance Flick). Plus, there’s a chance an Anchorman sequel is on the horizon.
Nia Vardalos
Normally comedians can control how funny they are by writing their own scripts. Nia scored big with her 2002 breakout hit My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was genuine, it was from the heart, and it was a goldmine. But ever since then, she hasn’t been able to garner the same box office cache. Releasing two romantic comedies this year, My Life in Ruins and I Hate Valentine’s Day, she’s starting to seem like a one-trick pony.
Up Next: She’ll take a break from writing her own films and adapt Laura Zigman’s novel A Wilderness of Monkeys, which is about a former big-time publicist who has to return to work after her husband loses his job. There’s also a chance she could be remaking the 40s rom-com The Talk of the Town, where she’ll be at the center of a tumultuous love triangle concerning an escaped political prisoner and a stuffy law professor. Casting is everything, so hopefully she’ll get at least B-list actors to play her Romeos.
John Travolta
We could attribute Travolta’s current slump to the tragic and unfortunate passing of his son, but the truth is the veteran actor’s last hit was back in ’07 when he was barely recognizable in Hairspray. I think he needs to keep doing more transformational roles, like Johnny Depp and Daniel Day-Lewis. Unfortunately, instead we’ve gotten the worst villain he’s every played in The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 and the worst comedy he’s ever done with Old Dogs.
Up Next: Since the sequel to Wild Hogs was cancelled, the only thing he has slated for next year is the action film From Paris with Love, where he plays an American spy trying to stop a terrorist act with the help of a diplomat (Jonathan Rhys Meyers from “The Tudors”).
Eddie Murphy
It’s been a while since Eddie Murphy has grossed any major box office proceeds without the help of a giant green ogre. In fact, in the last decade, the only live action film he’s received any sort of accolades for was Dreamgirls, and he wasn’t even the star. I’m all for him returning to the grittier and more adult comedy/action career that we all loved watching him in.
Jeremy Piven
Jack Black
He had a bit of a hot-streak last year with Tropic Thunder, Kung Fu Panda, and Be Kind Rewind. Unfortunately, it ended abruptly when he did Year One. Apparently, prehistoric humor was deemed really, really unfunny this year.
Up Next: Things might pick-up with his upcoming adaptation Gulliver’s Travels, which also stars Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, and Amanda Peet. Plus, there’s the totally reliable sequel to Kung Fu Panda of which he is the star.
Mischa Barton
Oh this poor child has had quite the downfall after ditching “The O.C.” Someone should tell newbies, “Never jump ship before you’re due. It’s a curse!” I would love to say that she’s just a victim, but sometimes she picks really crappy movies. Virgin Territory, which for some bizarro reason also stars Hayden Christensen and Christopher Egan (“Kings”), and Homecoming were just shameful. But sometimes she picks winners. I’ll give her kudo points for St. Trinian’s and Assassination of a High School President, even though she wasn’t really the star of either. I’ll even pat her on the back for attempting a TV comeback with “The Beautiful Life.” Alas, no one else is eager to do the same.
Up Next: She’ll star in The Science of Cool, which seems like a lame version of Weird Science, and the indie Upstate with her fellow CWer Chace Crawford. Maybe the proximity will score her some brownie points with the teenagers of today.
These actors were given major opportunities to breakout this year, headlining their own films, TV series, or potential franchises, but they failed miserably. Check out their foibles and the prospects that might redeem them.
Ever since a dorky Jew by the name of Shia Labeouf stumbled through an action movie called Transformers, this fiery vixen has been living in his metallic shadow. Last year, she attempted to break free with a supporting role in the horrifically adapted novel How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, but that tanked. Her breakout role, however, was supposed to be full-proof. Diablo Cody plus nudity plus the horror comedy genre had to equal major hit, right? Negative. Not only were critics thoroughly unimpressed with Cody’s second writing credit, but even teenagers didn’t flock to theaters to see the Fox in all her glory.
Second Shot: She just finished filming a second fiddle role to Josh Brolin in the mystical Western Jonah Hex. She’s currently filming Passion Play with Mickey Rourke, playing a gangster-controlled angel. Soon she’ll shoot the crime thriller The Crossing, about a couple that get mixed up in drug trafficking during their Mexican vacation.
After graduating with honors from “Gilmore Girls,” the only surefire role she had was in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants saga. She branched out this year with starring roles in The Good Guy and Post Grad, both of which were released as indies and practically ignored by everyone.
Second Shot: She’ll co-star with Robin Wright Penn, James McAvoy, Evan Rachel Wood, and Justin Long in The Conspiracy, a drama about the trial for Abraham Lincoln’s assassination conspirators. If she can manage to shine here and catch the eye of a director in search of a muse, then maybe she won’t have to return to TV…not that that would be such a bad idea.
After co-starring as a major douche in the surreal indie The Chumscrubber and playing Tom Cruise’s stubborn, battle-bound son in War of the Worlds, he had his first starring role in 2007's mystery thriller The Invisible. Despite its box office failure, he managed to secure a leading role in the adaptation of Dragonball: Evolution, disregarding the fact that the lead character in the famous Japanese animation is Asian. Failure was imminent after the first wave of online disapproval rolled in. It was pretty much official once everyone saw the trailer, complete with a ridiculous excuse for a villain.
Second Shot: He’s about to start shooting the indie drama Riding the Pine with Matt Long (“Jack & Bobby”) and Jaime King. I doubt it’ll lead to anything major, but maybe he’ll finally display some acting chops.
Kristin Kreuk
Finally ending her arc on “Smallville” (and freeing us from ever having to hear her scream for Clark again), she became free to start her film career. Unfortunately, it ended almost as quickly as it started. The trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li looked relatively good. Her combat skills were impressive for someone who had been playing a damsel in distress for almost a decade. However, all of the other actors were really bad. In fact, each of them deserves their own Razzie. I guess playing a stereotypical Asian isn’t always full-proof.
Second Shot: She just wrapped the religious ABC miniseries “Ben Hur.” She’ll play the leprosy afflicted sister of the title character, who gets cured by Jesus. Hopefully, it’ll cleanse her of her previous sins against celluloid.
He's a really funny guy, which you can tell by the content of his hit Comedy Central TV show “Important Things with Demetri Martin.” Unfortunately, he wasn’t funny enough to attract viewers to watch Ang Lee’s recreation of a seminal music experience in the adaptation of Elliot Tiber’s novel Taking Woodstock. Despite Lee’s track record, fans were uninterested and critics were unimpressed.
Second Shot: He'll costar in a comedy he wrote called Will, about a guy who must live an unscripted life after the scribe who used to write his every move quits. Then he'll star in another comedy he wrote called Moon People, where a team that colonized the moon return to Earth.
With the success of “Glee” and the popularity of dance films like Step Up, the film was expected to sweep the box office. The cast, by association, should’ve had their breakout moments, impressing the masses with their singing and dancing abilities. But anyone who heard the soundtrack knew that they could pass for everyday Popstars, but they’re no “Glee.”
Second Shot: Naturi Naughton will appear in the dramedy Highland Park with Danny Glover, the ghetto comedy Lottery Ticket with Bow Wow, and the coming-of-age drama Four to the Floor.
Former CW star Kay Panabaker (“Summerland”) will appear in the indie drama The Lake Effect and the horror thriller The Disembodied.
Collins Pennie is rumored to be cast in the crime thriller Criminal Empire for Dummies, which also stars Chris Evans, Rachel Bilson, and Harvey Keitel.
Walter Perez is rumored to be appearing in the Catherine Hardwicke-directed adaptation of Hamlet, starring Emile Hirsch.
Anna Maria Perez de Tagle has a part in the Disney musical Camp Rock: The Final Jam, the adaptation of Reno Ursal’s dramatic novel A Forgotten Innocence, and the sports dramedy Bleachers.
The charismatic charmer debuted his dimples on “Gilmore Girls,” and even tried to sweet talk his way into Lyla’s heart using God on “Friday Night Lights.” Attempting to segue into feature films, he starred in the misogynistic comedy I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
Second Shot: Luckily, he’s secured a role on the hit CBS drama “The Good Wife,” playing an obnoxious, opportunistic junior attorney.
She had a real shot at headlining her own series. She’s blonde, beautiful, and a fresh face. Unfortunately, no one was interested in the hard life of a model, so “The Beautiful Life” wad doomed from the start.
Second Shot: She’s rumored to be starring in the horror romance Emma of Lulworth Cove.
I was so bummed when his NBC series “Kings” was cancelled and his mischievous character on “Gossip Girl” just turned to crap. His film record isn’t too impressive either, having starred as the power-hungry villain in The Covenant, the little-watched indie drama The Education of Charlie Banks, and the practically ignored Ashton Kutcher indie Spread.
Second Shot: He just wrapped the John Cusack comedy Hot Tub Time Machine. He’s currently filming the Natalie Portman-driven dramatic thriller Black Swan. And soon he’ll start filming the horror thriller The Apparition.
DIMINISHING STAR POWER
These actors have already had their shot in the limelight, but they've been having a little trouble maintaining the glow. Was their latest film the last nail in their professional coffin, or can they win us over again?
The rugged Brit had a lucky streak ever since he played the title character in King Arthur. He followed it up with the critically approved Closer and Sin City, wavered a bit with Derailed, and then rebounded with his official breakout roles Inside Man and Children of the Men. You could say he peaked too soon in 2006, since what followed were a number of box office duds that continue even now in 2009: Shoot ‘Em Up, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, The International, and Duplicity. But given the critical praise for his most recent film, the Australian dramatic indie The Boys Are Back, maybe his cold streak is on its way to heating up.
Up next: He’s currently filming the David Schwimmer-directed (Run Fat Boy Run) pedophile drama Trust with Catherine Keener (Where the Wild Things Are) and Viola Davis (Doubt); he’s rumored to have a role in the upcoming Sinatra biopic; and plans for an Inside Man sequel are underway.
Ever since his breakout role in Knocked Up, there was no escaping this Frat Pack alum, whether he was taking bit roles in Superbad, Step Brothers, and Fanboys, or voice roles in The Spiderwick Chronicles, Horton Hears a Who!, and Kung Fu Panda. But just when we thought he hit his stride with Pineapple Express, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and Funny People, the only box office coup he had this year was Monsters vs. Aliens.
Up Next: He’ll voice the only animated character in the alien comedy Paul, and continue voicing a character in the Kung Fu Panda sequel, subtitled The Kaboom of Doom. But he hasn’t given up on live action just yet. Not only will he star alongside James McAvoy in the comedy I’m with Cancer, which sounds like a lighter version of Funny People, he’ll fearlessly star and co-write the comic book adaptation of The Green Hornet, potentially revamping everyone’s perception of him as a leading man.
The last time I laughed at something Will Ferrell did was in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and that was barely. His best film is actually Stranger Than Fiction, but even that was three years ago. He’s been spiraling down ever since, running the sports-related comedy genre into the ground with Blades of Glory and Semi-Pro. And then he officially murdered any chemistry he had with John C. Reilly in Step Brothers, resulting in his reinitiation into the genre that officially launched his career when Elf hit theaters: family comedies. Unfortunately, that mutated into Land of the Lost, which is rated lower on RT then both Bewitched and Hot Rod. That’s low. I personally think the worst move he did all year was The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, which was the most excruciatingly corny and unfunny pile of crap I've seen…and I saw All About Steve.
Up next: Starting the new decade off right, he’ll voice the villain in the animated anti-superhero comedy Megamind, alongside Brad Pitt, Tina Fey, and Jonah Hill (Superbad). Then he’ll play a detective in Talladega director Adam McKay’s comedy The Other Guys with Mark Wahlberg as his partner. It’s a truly start-studded cast that includes Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Anne Heche, Steve Coogan, and Damon Wayans Jr (Dance Flick). Plus, there’s a chance an Anchorman sequel is on the horizon.
Normally comedians can control how funny they are by writing their own scripts. Nia scored big with her 2002 breakout hit My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was genuine, it was from the heart, and it was a goldmine. But ever since then, she hasn’t been able to garner the same box office cache. Releasing two romantic comedies this year, My Life in Ruins and I Hate Valentine’s Day, she’s starting to seem like a one-trick pony.
Up Next: She’ll take a break from writing her own films and adapt Laura Zigman’s novel A Wilderness of Monkeys, which is about a former big-time publicist who has to return to work after her husband loses his job. There’s also a chance she could be remaking the 40s rom-com The Talk of the Town, where she’ll be at the center of a tumultuous love triangle concerning an escaped political prisoner and a stuffy law professor. Casting is everything, so hopefully she’ll get at least B-list actors to play her Romeos.
We could attribute Travolta’s current slump to the tragic and unfortunate passing of his son, but the truth is the veteran actor’s last hit was back in ’07 when he was barely recognizable in Hairspray. I think he needs to keep doing more transformational roles, like Johnny Depp and Daniel Day-Lewis. Unfortunately, instead we’ve gotten the worst villain he’s every played in The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 and the worst comedy he’s ever done with Old Dogs.
Up Next: Since the sequel to Wild Hogs was cancelled, the only thing he has slated for next year is the action film From Paris with Love, where he plays an American spy trying to stop a terrorist act with the help of a diplomat (Jonathan Rhys Meyers from “The Tudors”).
It’s been a while since Eddie Murphy has grossed any major box office proceeds without the help of a giant green ogre. In fact, in the last decade, the only live action film he’s received any sort of accolades for was Dreamgirls, and he wasn’t even the star. I’m all for him returning to the grittier and more adult comedy/action career that we all loved watching him in.
Up Next: In 2011, we’ll see him in the morbid dramedy A Thousand Words, where he’ll play a guy who only has a thousand words left to say before he dies. It doesn’t have American distribution yet. Can you blame Hollywood for being skeptical after Meet Dave and Imagine That. Lucky for him, he’ll always have that gullible donkey to pad his pockets. Next year, you can hear him in Shrek Forever After, which will follow the ogre on a journey back to the beginning, since his entire life and all his relationships get erased by the trickster Rumpelstiltskin.
He’s never really been a leading man. Most of his fans prefer it when he’s spouting one-liners as a supporting actor, which is why he was good in last year’s The Kingdom and RocknRolla. This year, he attempted a transition as a leading man and failed miserably. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard was excruciating to watch.
Up Next: He’ll take a mini-break from the limelight and voice the doggie bff in Marmaduke. Then he’ll take a swing at drama with the legal indie Waska, playing a hard-hitting prosecutor after the negligent homicide of a young boy.
He had a bit of a hot-streak last year with Tropic Thunder, Kung Fu Panda, and Be Kind Rewind. Unfortunately, it ended abruptly when he did Year One. Apparently, prehistoric humor was deemed really, really unfunny this year.
Up Next: Things might pick-up with his upcoming adaptation Gulliver’s Travels, which also stars Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, and Amanda Peet. Plus, there’s the totally reliable sequel to Kung Fu Panda of which he is the star.
Oh this poor child has had quite the downfall after ditching “The O.C.” Someone should tell newbies, “Never jump ship before you’re due. It’s a curse!” I would love to say that she’s just a victim, but sometimes she picks really crappy movies. Virgin Territory, which for some bizarro reason also stars Hayden Christensen and Christopher Egan (“Kings”), and Homecoming were just shameful. But sometimes she picks winners. I’ll give her kudo points for St. Trinian’s and Assassination of a High School President, even though she wasn’t really the star of either. I’ll even pat her on the back for attempting a TV comeback with “The Beautiful Life.” Alas, no one else is eager to do the same.
Up Next: She’ll star in The Science of Cool, which seems like a lame version of Weird Science, and the indie Upstate with her fellow CWer Chace Crawford. Maybe the proximity will score her some brownie points with the teenagers of today.
FILM: Breakout Stars of 2009
We already knew she was a child prodigy back in ’01 when she drained our tear ducts in I Am Sam. But the transition from child actor to adult actor is always a bumpy one, just ask every kid who debuted in the 80s. Some may say that she only recently leapt head-first into mature films, starring in the racy pedophilia drama Hounddog and the racism-fueled, child abuse story The Secret Life of Bees, but she has more adult films on her resume than she does family films. In fact, for a while there she was known for her mature attitude both on and off the set. She was practically a 40-year-old woman stuck in a 10-year-old’s body. The only aspect of her career that needed transitioning was the extent of what her characters—and, by association, she—were allowed to do. Last year’s films broke the ice, allowing for audiences to accept the possibility of her playing a rebellious, precognitive orphan in Push and a vindictive, blood-thirsty vampire in New Moon. You could say that once Twilight fans saw her red-eyed Jane poster, it was a done deal, but I think we all knew she had the makings of a bitch all along, proven by her role in Uptown Girls...but that’s just not something you say about a 9-year-old.
Up Next: In March, she’ll push the envelope a bit more playing a former famous rock star in the Joan Jett biopic The Runaways alongside Kristen Stewart. Then in June, she’ll reprise her role in the next Twilight installment, Eclipse. Plus, she’s rumored to have been tapped for the adaptation of Betsy and the Emperor, the story of a 14-year-old daredevil who befriended Napoleon Bonaparte.
The 26-year-old New Yorker has been around for a while now, but I really do think this was his official breakout year. I have personally been enjoying the Woody Allen-esque, bashful, self-deprecating, Jewish persona that he repeats in almost every film since 2005’s Cursed. But it wasn’t until he starred in the coming-of-age dramedy Adventureland and positioned himself near the whirlwind rise of Kristen Stewart that he was finally noticed under his Jew-fro. Then he had the good fortune of starring in the hilarious action horror comedy Zombieland, playing the educational narrator and timid anti-hero. During the decade, Hollywood has been increasingly interested in casting Australians (Russell Crowe, Eric Bana, Sam Worthington, etc.) and Europeans (Christian Bale, Daniel Craig, etc.) as our heroes, leaving the only American heroes to be dorky klutzes (Tobey Maguire, Seth Rogen, etc.) or sci-fi creations (Robert Downey Jr., Chris Pine, etc.) that we can finally relate or aspire to, which makes Eisenberg the future. God help us all.
Up Next: He just finished filming his role as an over-his-head, Jewish drug dealer in the crime drama Holy Rollers opposite Justin Bartha (The Hangover). In October, you’ll see him as one of the founders of Facebook in the biopic Social Network, alongside Max Minghella, Justin Timberlake and Rashida Jones. He’s rumored to have scored the lead role of famous poet Allen Ginsberg in Kill Your Darlings, the story of the murder that inspired the Beat Generation, alongside Chris Evans (Push and Fantastic Four) and Ben Whishaw (Bright Star and Brideshead Revisited). And, of course, there will be the inevitable sequel to Zombieland. They should subtitle it, “Double tap!”
The Wiigster may have been popping up all over Frat pack films since 2007’s Knocked Up, but we didn’t exactly take her non-SNL side jobs seriously until she starred in this year’s indie dramedy Adventureland as the sketchy co-owner of a theme park, the screwball comedy Extract as the pool-boy-bedding, adulteress wife of a factory owner, and the girl-power comedy Whip It as a part-time roller derby diva and full-time mom. She proved that she could curb the funny voices and faces for a little realism, which’ll most likely score her more diverse roles, besides the token nut job.
Up Next: She’ll be in the alien comedy Paul with Simon Pegg, Jason Bateman, and Jane Lynch (“Glee”), and the rom-com Date Night with her homies Tina Fey and Steve Carell. She’ll voice two animated characters in How to Train Your Dragon and Despicable Me. She just wrapped filming the SNL-skit-inspired spoof MacGruber, and she’s about to start filming the comedy Ass Backwards with Amy Sedaris and Kate Hudson.
This year the 20-year-old Disney star seamlessly moved between playing the obnoxious and self-absorbed Chad on “Sonny with a Chance” and the self-conscious klutz in 17 Again. It’s impressive that he managed to outshine Demi Lovato, Disney’s new cash cow, and Zac Efron, Disney’s veteran cash cow, with the limited amount of screen time that he was given. Hopefully he’ll continue to show his range and not get pegged into any particular archetype.
Up Next: He’ll get romantic in Elle, the modern musically-infused retelling of Cinderella.
Be honest, you’ve been staring as his baby blues since he starred in the sequel to Princess Diaries. You even rented Just My Luck, despite the fact that the train wreck that was once Lindsay Lohan is in it. Hell, you even forgave him for his redneck role in the critically pandered crime comedy Smokin’ Aces. So it was no surprise when the rest of the world fell in love with him this year when he played the legendary Captain Kirk in JJ Abram’s Star Trek. While haters might suggest that he’s just a lucky bastard, it’s important to note that he’s mainly impressive because of his diverse resume. In his career, he’s gone from a charming opponent to an ambitious dreamer to an inbred assassin to an obnoxious leader. He might disappoint every now and then, but he’ll always keep you guessing.
Up Next: He’ll play a lovelorn singer-songwriter in the indie drama Small Town Saturday Night with his dad. In November, you can see him in the runaway train thriller Unstoppable, alongside Denzel Washington and Rosario Dawson. There’s a chance he’ll star in the adaptation of Jason Kersten’s novel The Art of Making Money: The Story of a Master Counterfeiter. Without question, you’ll definitely see a Star Trek sequel in his future, but he’s also rumored to have been tapped to replace Harrison Ford in the Jack Ryan chronicles, potentially giving him a Bourne-like saga.
She’s been old news since she bust a move ten years ago in Center Stage. She got her first lead role opposite Nick Cannon in Drumline, and even got to go toe-to-toe with Johnny Depp, showing off her feisty side, in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. But she remained under the radar, appearing in Tom Hanks’ The Terminal and Orlando Bloom’s Haven, even after starring alongside Ashton Kutcher and the late Bernie Mac in Guess Who. It seemed as though she’d actually given up film in 2006, when she joined the cast of ABC’s “Six Degrees.” Luckily, it was cancelled and she was free to appear in Vantage Point, which starred Matthew Fox, who stars in “Lost,” which was created by JJ Abrams, who eventually cast her as Uhura in this year’s Star Trek, introducing her to every comic-loving geek on the planet. That, coupled with the fact that she co-starred with Sigourney Weaver in Vantage Point most-likely secured at least an audition with James Cameron, who eventually cast her as a badass warrior princess in Avatar. After this whirlwind year, you could say the Dominican New Yorker has come a very long way from her dancing and glorified-girlfriend roles, and I commend her for not settling for every stereotypical part that’s thrown at her.
Up Next: We’ll forgive her for the sure-to-flop crime film Takers out in February, since she’ll be playing a Special Forces soldier in the comic adaptation of The Losers and joining the comedian-filled cast of the Death at a Funeral remake this Spring, as well as reprising her role in the 2011 Star Trek sequel.
I first noticed the Russian 20-year-old in Alpha Dog, which I suffered through. But I made a note of him, in case he made another attempt at stardom. He did. It was called Charlie Bartlett. And it was fantastic. He was funny, relatable, fearless, and engrossing. He did more in two hours than most young actors do in their entire career. So I was elated when it was announced that he would not only play the Russian navigator Chekov in Star Trek, but the young Kyle Reese in Terminator Salvation. I thought, “This is it! Finally, people will see what I’ve been seeing all along.” I’m confident, however, that he won’t just coast on blockbusters to pad his pockets. He’s very much an aspiring character actor.
Up Next: He’ll play the son of a delusional man in The Beaver, Jodie Foster’s first directing gig in 15 years and Mel Gibson’s first dramedy since his anti-Semitic scandal. He’ll play the jilted boyfriend in the adaptation of Gabrielle Zevin’s romantic drama Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac. And he’s about to start shooting William H. Macy’s feature film directorial debut, the drama Keep Coming Back, about a kid who joins AA because he has a crush on a stripper.
The 33-year-old English actor, who was raised in Australia, has been hiding down under for the last decade with foreign indies most Americans probably never heard of. He slowly made his way into American cinema with films like Bruce Willis’ battle drama Hart’s War and Michael Vartan’s gator horror Rogue. But this year, he finally popped up on everyone’s radar when he became the new man-within-the-machine in Terminator Salvation and helped James Cameron bring his Utopian vision to life in Avatar.
Up Next: He’ll come back to Earth with the terrorist thriller The Debt and the romantic drama Last Night with Keira Knightley and Eva Mendes. But then he’ll get back into the fantasy genre with the much-blogged-about Clash of the Titans. He’s rumored to be attached to the remake of the recent Danish film The Candidate, where he’ll play an attorney entangled in a murder conspiracy, who must hunt for his blackmailers to clear his name. Also, most recently, there’s been talk of him teaming up with Bradley Cooper to star in Texas Killing Fields, the dark, unsolved, true story of the sexual assault and brutal murder of four women.
I loved him in 2006’s quirky love story Ira & Abby, but I didn’t recognize him when he played Patrick Dempsey’s bff in Made of Honor, and I’m sure you didn’t realize he was in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and I can’t even remember what his sexual affliction was in John Krasinski’s Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. It wasn’t until I saw him play the patient father of adoptive kids in Away We Go that I started to feel like he was beginning to get his due. And it was pretty much official when he got the supportive husband role in Julie & Julia. Do I think this’ll lead to bigger and better things? I hope not. He’s just so damn good at being a low key version of Billy Crystal that giving him a big blown-up role would crush his appeal. Alas, Hollywood plans on testing my theory.
Up Next: He will star in JJ Abrams’ HBO cancer drama based on Jerome Groopman’s book “Anatomy of Hope.” He’ll star opposite Jessica Alba in the adaptation of An Invisible Sign of My Own. He’ll play Ben Stiller’s brother in Noah Baumbach’s indie dramedy Greenberg. He’ll get serious with Rashida Jones in the indie drama Monogamy. And, if that’s not enough, he’ll also appear in the self-explanatory horror thriller Devil.
You know how some comedians make jokes and then you laugh? Well, he’s the kind of comedian who could just stare at you and get a laugh. He’s been honing his deadpan-delivery since he starred in that other failed Eliza Dushku FOX series, “Tru Calling,” in 2003. But America officially took notice this year when he played the possibly retarded and bromantically desperate brother-in-law in The Hangover. I’m sure if he knew that it was going to be a hit, he wouldn’t have sold his soul to be in the hamster spy film G-Force. But maybe his bit-role in Up in the Air and the upcoming offbeat Michael Cera comedy Youth in Revolt will erase that from everyone’s memory (and nightmares). If not, he can at least take comfort in knowing that the critics believe he and Ted Danson are the best characters on HBO’s new detective comedy “Bored to Death.”
Up Next: He’s been getting movie offers up the wazoo. In July, he’ll be in the comedy Dinner for Schmucks with Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd. In November, he’ll star opposite Robert Downey Jr. in the pregnancy comedy Due Date, and opposite Lauren Graham (Bad Santa) in the adaptation of Ned Vizzini’s It’s Kind of a Funny Story. He’ll also voice Humpty Dumpty in the Shrek spinoff Puss in Boots, and play an agoraphobe who befriends a call girl (Amy Adams) in Town House.
When he first appeared on “The Office,” I didn’t like his character. They sort of revamped it and gave him a more endearing personality—complete with an adorable need to please and an Acapella group—so I eventually got on the Andy Bernard-bandwagon. However, he didn’t come on to my movie-watching radar, despite his cameos in Evan Almighty, Meet Dave, and Harold & Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay, until I saw The Hangover. Almost every guy in that film has had skyrocketing prospects ever since, but he stood out the most for his toothless temper tantrums and his off-the-cuff ballad of hope. It was unfortunate that he had to be in the worst comedy of the year, The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, but if he learns how to focus his particular sense of humor, he could have a fruitful career.
Up Next: In 2011, he’ll star opposite John C. Reilly in the workplace comedy Cedar Rapids. There are rumblings that he’ll star in and co-write a Judd Apatow-produced comedy called A Whole New Hugh, about a trio of guys who try to boost their buddy’s confidence by making him think he’s a success. He also got Steve Carrell to produce another untitled writing venture of his, which will follow a civil war re-enacter who goes back in time and has to try his best not to alter history. He’s also attached to a “Chuck”-like action comedy called Central Intelligence, where an accountant gets unwittingly involved in covert ops after reconnecting with a friend on Facebook. Plus, he’s in talks to star alongside Will Ferrell in the divorce comedy Daddy’s Home. Oh and of course there’ll be a Hangover sequel that, thankfully, will be non-Vegas related.
I thought the 30-year-old Puerto Rican smart ass was pretty funny in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but I had no idea everyone else had such high regard for him until I saw his name pop up in reviews everywhere. Previously, he’s been in “The Wire”—not that I watched that—and in Surfer, Dude—not that anyone watched that. He also appeared in the box office flops of Pride & Glory and The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. So it really was surprising that of all the co-stars he’s had the pleasure of working with, from Edward Norton to Denzel Washington, the one that scored him his big break was metallic. Now let’s see if he can do it again.
Up Next: So far he has the indie dramedy Harlem Hostel and the Lifetime cop series “Exit 19” with Geena Davis (“Commander in Chief”). And in 2011, he’ll get back to action with the sci-fi alien flick Battle: Los Angeles, keeping good company with Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar), Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight), and Michael Pena (Crash).
Can you believe he got his start on “Sex and the City”? It figures that the iconic ladies of New York would have to be the first to approve him. Even though he was on the series “Jack & Bobby” and “Alias,” he didn’t officially turn heads until he appeared in Wedding Crashers. That was the first time anyone thought of him as funny, which is probably why he scored the opportunity to star in the FOX comedy “Kitchen Confidential.” Even though it was cancelled, that allowed producers to see that he shines best while playing jerks and lovable douches. Thus, scoring him douchebag roles in He’s Just Not That Into You, The Hangover, and All About Steve.
Up Next: Luckily, he’s decided to play against type. He’ll start the New Year off in the Renee Zellweger horror thriller Case 39. Then he’ll try to romance Julia Roberts in the star-studded rom-com Valentine’s Day. Then this summer he’ll be the envy of geeks everywhere when he plays Faceman in The A-Team, alongside Liam Neeson, Jessica Biel, Sharlto Copley (District 9), and Patrick Wilson (The Watchmen).
Angry Asian people aren’t new to Hollywood (see Margaret Cho), so when he first popped onto the scene in 2007’s Knocked Up as the inconsiderate gynecologist, no one bat an eyelash. They were equally unphased when he played an obnoxious Napoleon-complex-having jerk in last year’s Role Models. It wasn’t until he played the streaking, pimp-tastic gangster in The Hangover that people started noticing him everywhere. We’ve forgiven him for his appearances in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, All About Steve, and Couples Retreat, because his vindictive Senor Chang on NBC’s “Community” is too funny to ignore.
Up Next: He’ll be in Kevin James’ rom-com The Zookeeper, and he might play a guy named—I shit you not—Jackie Chan on the upcoming desk-bound-cop series “Off Duty” on NBC.
Despite film credits, like S.W.A.T., North Country, and 28 Weeks Later, it wasn’t until he had a small role in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford that anyone took a second look at the 38-year-old actor. I, however, first noticed him at Comic Con earlier this year when he was promoting The Hurt Locker. I thought it was weird that a non-scifi film was getting promoted at a scifi convention, but I stayed for the Q&A and sneak peaks anyway. From what I saw, since I didn’t get to see the critically acclaimed and Oscar-buzzworthy war dramedy, it was pretty funny and suspenseful. I got to see more of what he could do in ABC’s unorthodox police procedural “The Unusuals.” Man, I loved that show. He has that gruff, devil-may-care attitude about him that suggests he’s both someone you shouldn’t cross and someone you could trust. He simply oozes a bravado that American cinema is currently lacking without capes and spandex.
Up Next: He’ll be in Ben Affleck’s next directing venture, the crime thriller The Town, alongside Affleck himself and Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”). Also, there’s a rumor he’ll play Hawkeye in the 2012 adaptation of The Avengers, which has a star-studded cast that includes Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man and Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow.
You remember Marlon, right? The scrawny, goofy Wayans brother? Yeah, well he’s grown up now. The 37-year-old father of two must of noticed the cautionary tale that has become Eddie Murphy’s life and decided that he’s not going to go out like that. While it’s true that he’s never really resolved himself to doing just comedy, having tried drama in Requiem of a Dream, he isn’t exactly seen as anything other than a clown. It’s not like he can blame us, considering his roles in films like White Chicks and Little Man. But this year he opened up some eyes, providing not only comic relief but action-packed scenes in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.
Up Next: I’m sure his new lease on Hollywood life is the reason he’s about to star in the Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) biopic Richard Pryor: Is It Something I Said?, and that he’s been tapped to star in the adaptation of Esquire-writer A.J. Jacobs’ comedy The Year of Living Biblically. But fret not die-hard Wayans Brothers fans. He hasn’t abandoned his crass comedy background just yet. He’ll be adapting the family comic book Super Bad James Dynomite, and sequels to Scary Movie and White Chicks are in the works.
He’s only been in two movies in his entire career. In one, he played a sniper and in the other he played a government agent who turns into an alien. The latter introduced him to every single producer, director, screenwriter, and casting agent in Hollywood after Peter Jackson offered to produce it. With one film that grossed $204 million and one starring role, he has become a worldwide phenomenon.
Up Next: I remember reading in EW that he wasn’t really interested in leaving South Africa or booking himself solid for the next five years, but at least we’ll get to see him stretch his legs in the upcoming A-Team adaptation.
Paper Heart wasn’t your average romantic comedy. In fact, it’s been described as a hybrid comedy, combining documentary aspects with a fictionalized relationship. The idea was developed by Charlyne in conjunction with the director Nicholas Jasenovec, exploring the notion that there does exist a girl on this planet who doesn’t believe in true love. Some might consider her personality to be a bit offbeat and unorthodox, but it’s unlike any they’ve seen before.
Up Next: She’s actually very musical, and she scored the film. Listen to her on MySpace.
Yeah, yeah, I know Megan Fox is supposed to be the new hot shit, but she’s so 2007. Margarita, however, single-handedly sexualized Adventureland and sexually-castrated Ashton Kutcher in his indie Spread.
Up Next: It seems the 19-year-old Russian is taking a break from film to do theatre, last seen in The Retributionists.
The 24-year-old Brit first debuted in 2005’s BBC mini-series “Bleak House,” but it wasn’t until she was showered with accolades at Sundance for her role in An Education that she’d officially made it. She soon scored supporting roles in both Public Enemies, opposite Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, and Brothers, opposite Natalie Portman and Tobey Maguire. I have yet to see what she can actually do, but with as much hype that surrounds her, I’m pretty certain she’s got the goods.
Up Next: She’ll star in the sequel Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps with Shia Labeouf, the remake of the crime thriller Brighton Rock, the dramatic thriller Never Let Me Go with Keira Knightley and Sally Hawkins (Happy-Go-Lucky), and the crime bio Electric Slide, about a furniture salesman turned bank robber (Ewan McGregor).
Did you know that Sean Penn’s wife was actually an actress? You might remember her from Forrest Gump and The Princess Bride. No worries, she has every intention of reminding you now that she’s divorced. This year, she starred in the dramatic indie The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, costarred with Russell Crowe and Ben Affeck in the political thriller State of Play, and played dual roles in the remake of The Christmas Carol. She’s on fire and she’s taking advantage of the momentum.
Up Next: She just wrapped up Robert Redford’s historical drama The Conspirator with James McAvoy, and soon she’ll start filming the crime dramedy Hectic with Stanley Tucci.
I know Mo’nique. I’ve seen her stand-up, I watched her series (even though her TV daughter was annoying), and I’ve laughed at her uncensored talk show appearances. But no one, and I do mean no one, could convince me that that’s the same actress who has spent the last year being worshipped by the critics for her unexpected and jarring performance as a mentally ill, violently and verbally abusive mother in the adaptation of Precious. No one. And that’s not even the extent of her stardom. This year, she has also successfully headlined and produced her own talk show on BET.
Up Next: Considering the amount of offers she’s probably getting, her hectic talk show schedule, and the fact that she has 3-year-old twins, I’m not surprised that she isn’t signed on for anything new just yet.
BEST NEW ACTRESS: Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe
The 26-year-old Brooklyn native never did a film before being cast in Precious. Some have even suggested that she’s this year’s Jennifer Hudson. Already nominated for a Golden Globe, there’s definite speculation that an Oscar nod is on the horizon.
Up Next: She’ll star in the drama Yelling to the Sky with Shareeka Epps (Half Nelson) and Zoe Kravitz (The Brave One), and she’s been cast in the Laura Linney-led Showtime drama “The C-Word.”
TV: New Favorite Shows of Fall 2009
Here are the new shows that I've fallen in love with this season, and refuse to miss out on week-after-week:
1. ABC's "Modern Family"
Family comedies are rarely funny if the families aren't completely deranged (i.e. "Arrested Development"). But these three normal families manage to inject enough humor into everyday activities to make over-the-top attributes (like say being a Never-Nude) completely unnecessary. Kids are funny. Old people are funny. Gay people have always been funny (and fashionable--it's like a rule). Put them all together in one series and you have a night of laughs.
2. FOX's "Glee"
I love music. And I love music-als. So "Glee" is right up my alley. But I have to be honest, if there wasn't singing involved, I don't think I'd be as in love with this series as I am. It's funny and the characters of Coach Sylvester and Rachel add to that humor, but the real show-stopper is definitely the perfectly-pitched performances and how the accentuate the plotlines.
3. NBC's "Parks and Recreation"
I admit that I didn't like the first episode, but I hung in there because I also didn't like the first few episodes of "The Office" or "Arrested Development," and they eventually became some of my favorite shows. So I was glad that this series found its stride and Leslie Knope became a character I could depend on to not only teach me a lesson about small town life, but make me giggle about it all in the span of 30 minutes. With characters like the moronic Andy, the perverted Tom, the stone-faced Ron, the angsty April, and the voices of reason Ann and Mark, it has one of the best casts on TV.
4. NBC's "Mercy"
I wasn't expecting to like any of the new medical shows, since the networks were pretty much bombarding us with them due to the cancellation of "ER." But I was sincerely shocked by how much more enjoyable it is to watch the life of shell-shocked war vet Nurse Veronica than it is to watch the whiny Dr. Meredith Grey on "Grey's Anatomy." She's funny, she's flawed, she's fearless. She's a heroine you can actually respect, even in spite of her alcoholism and infidelity. Throw in a snippy gay buddy and a smokin' hot, Jersey-accent-afflicted ex-husband, and you'll have loads of laughs and drama to enjoy.
5. Lifetime's "Drop Dead Diva"
I didn't think I would like this series because it's about a blonde model who dies and accidentally reawakens into a plumper lawyer's body. It was like, "Boo hoo! Now you're fat!" and I have to watch you complain about it for an entire season. But it turns out it's actually fun to watch her suffer, and to repeatedly see notion that it isn't easier to be smart and wide. It's almost therapeutic. The show also does a great job of revealing something new about who Jane used to be, which is what "Samantha, Who?" failed to do without beating you over the head with it. Plus, Brooke Elliott manages to be both bubbly and endearing, relating to the everywoman. Oh and I mustn't forget to mention the adorable Grayson (Jackson Hurst), who would make me defy God any day (just joking).
1. ABC's "Modern Family"
Family comedies are rarely funny if the families aren't completely deranged (i.e. "Arrested Development"). But these three normal families manage to inject enough humor into everyday activities to make over-the-top attributes (like say being a Never-Nude) completely unnecessary. Kids are funny. Old people are funny. Gay people have always been funny (and fashionable--it's like a rule). Put them all together in one series and you have a night of laughs.
2. FOX's "Glee"
I love music. And I love music-als. So "Glee" is right up my alley. But I have to be honest, if there wasn't singing involved, I don't think I'd be as in love with this series as I am. It's funny and the characters of Coach Sylvester and Rachel add to that humor, but the real show-stopper is definitely the perfectly-pitched performances and how the accentuate the plotlines.
3. NBC's "Parks and Recreation"
I admit that I didn't like the first episode, but I hung in there because I also didn't like the first few episodes of "The Office" or "Arrested Development," and they eventually became some of my favorite shows. So I was glad that this series found its stride and Leslie Knope became a character I could depend on to not only teach me a lesson about small town life, but make me giggle about it all in the span of 30 minutes. With characters like the moronic Andy, the perverted Tom, the stone-faced Ron, the angsty April, and the voices of reason Ann and Mark, it has one of the best casts on TV.
4. NBC's "Mercy"
I wasn't expecting to like any of the new medical shows, since the networks were pretty much bombarding us with them due to the cancellation of "ER." But I was sincerely shocked by how much more enjoyable it is to watch the life of shell-shocked war vet Nurse Veronica than it is to watch the whiny Dr. Meredith Grey on "Grey's Anatomy." She's funny, she's flawed, she's fearless. She's a heroine you can actually respect, even in spite of her alcoholism and infidelity. Throw in a snippy gay buddy and a smokin' hot, Jersey-accent-afflicted ex-husband, and you'll have loads of laughs and drama to enjoy.
5. Lifetime's "Drop Dead Diva"
I didn't think I would like this series because it's about a blonde model who dies and accidentally reawakens into a plumper lawyer's body. It was like, "Boo hoo! Now you're fat!" and I have to watch you complain about it for an entire season. But it turns out it's actually fun to watch her suffer, and to repeatedly see notion that it isn't easier to be smart and wide. It's almost therapeutic. The show also does a great job of revealing something new about who Jane used to be, which is what "Samantha, Who?" failed to do without beating you over the head with it. Plus, Brooke Elliott manages to be both bubbly and endearing, relating to the everywoman. Oh and I mustn't forget to mention the adorable Grayson (Jackson Hurst), who would make me defy God any day (just joking).
TV: Favorite Episodes of Fall 2009 Season
Here are my favorite episodes of the season:
"30 Rock"
Episode 7 - Dealbreakers Talk Show No. 0001
Watching Liz spiral out of control and Jenna be the voice of reason was like watching the Twilight Zone. Also, the HD closeups of Liz's haggard face, Kenneth's muppet face, and Jack's young face were also a nice touch.
"90210"
Episode 11 - And Away They Go!
Ivy thinks of a pretty genius way to reveal Jen's devious personality to Naomi, and finally redeem Annie and Liam.
"Accidentally on Purpose"
Episode 2 - Memento
I generally like any episode where Zack has his shirt off.
"Bones"
Episode 8 - The Foot in the Foreclosure
Booth's grandpa provided what I've been desiring all season: a little help bringing the lovebirds closer together.
"Community"
Episode 3 - Introduction to Film
Abed constructs a film about his family, explaining how his mother abandoned them. It was a very touching moment in the midst of a comedy.
Episode 9 - Debate 109
Annie and Jeff kick ass at the school debate, and release some seriously buried sexual attention. It showed Annie's badass side, proving her doe-eyed innocence is just a phase.
"Cougar Town"
Episode 2 - Into the Greate Wide Open
Jules spends an entire episode essentially reenacting The Hangover, and it aint pretty.
"Fringe"
Episode 6 - Earthling
It's the one where people turn to ash. By far the coolest special effect they've done yet.
"Glee"
Episode 6 - Vitamin D
It's when the girls go against the boys. But honestly, I could watch every single one of them all over again.
"Gossip Girl"
Episode 12 - The Debarted
Chuck comes to terms with his father's death and discovers that his mother might have faked hers.
"Grey's Anatomy"
Episode 5 - Invasion & 6 - I Saw What I Saw
They both brought the series back to what it was all about: competing for surgeries, failing miserably, learning from their mistakes, and falling in love all at the same time.
"How I Met Your Mother"
Episode 8 - The Playbook
Anything that involves Barney chronicling his lechery is extremely fascinating, so it was particularly interesting to get a peak into his playbook.
"Lie to Me"
Episode 1 - The Core of It
Interrogating one liar is tense enough. Imagine interrogating a liar with multiple personalities and a killer secret.
Episode 5 - Grievous Bodily Harm
He has to choose between his life and a friend who he owes his life to. Quite the conundrum.
"Mad Men"
Episode 10 - "Mad Men"
Dude, someone's foot got chopped off by a lawn mower. Just when you think the business is going one way, it just careens off into a different direction. It was like a metaphor for their unpredictable lives.
"The Mentalist"
Episode 8 - His Red Right Hand
It was super creepy. Red John infiltrated the CBI, got a psychotic woman to do his dirty work, nearly killed Bosco, and then offed his accomplice. It was suspenseful and nervewracking.
"The Middle"
Episode 8 - Thanksgiving
It's probably the worst Thanksgiving in the history of recorded Thanksgivings. She really makes motherhood look hard.
"Modern Family"
Episode 9 - Fizbo
Cameron reveals his clown alter-ego Fizbo and manages to turn Mitchell on, while terrifying the crap out of Phil, all while a scorpion roams the over-stuffed kids' party.
"The Office"
Episode 10 - Murder
When you're on the verge of unemployment--and I know what that feels like--it's nice to have a little distraction. And while Michael's was a bit unorthodox, it was also exactly what the staff needed. It showed for once that sometimes he knows exactly what he's doing.
"Parks & Recreation"
Episode 10 - Hunting Trip
I laughed so hard at this episode, from Leslie one-upping Ron to the super inefficient investigation of who eventually shoots him.
"Smallville"
Episode 9 - Idol
Lois starts to get wise to Clark's secret identity and the Wonder Twins show up to help him hide it.
"True Blood"
Episode 8 - Timebomb
Jason goes all Rambo to save his sister, Eric tries to sacrifice himself for her twice, and a major terrorist-like vampire explosion happens leading to the death of Godric. It was a jampacked episode.
"Ugly Betty"
Episode 8 - The Bahamas Triangle
The fashion, the comedy, the romantic entanglements were all at the top of their game. Most importantly, Amanda restored her self-respect, finally blowing Matt off, and Betty grew a backbone, exchanging quips with both Mark and Amanda.
"Vampire Diaries"
Damon finally reveals his true intentions and we get a sneak peak into Bonnie's mystical powers.
"30 Rock"
Episode 7 - Dealbreakers Talk Show No. 0001
Watching Liz spiral out of control and Jenna be the voice of reason was like watching the Twilight Zone. Also, the HD closeups of Liz's haggard face, Kenneth's muppet face, and Jack's young face were also a nice touch.
"90210"
Episode 11 - And Away They Go!
Ivy thinks of a pretty genius way to reveal Jen's devious personality to Naomi, and finally redeem Annie and Liam.
"Accidentally on Purpose"
Episode 2 - Memento
I generally like any episode where Zack has his shirt off.
"Bones"
Episode 8 - The Foot in the Foreclosure
Booth's grandpa provided what I've been desiring all season: a little help bringing the lovebirds closer together.
"Community"
Episode 3 - Introduction to Film
Abed constructs a film about his family, explaining how his mother abandoned them. It was a very touching moment in the midst of a comedy.
Episode 9 - Debate 109
Annie and Jeff kick ass at the school debate, and release some seriously buried sexual attention. It showed Annie's badass side, proving her doe-eyed innocence is just a phase.
"Cougar Town"
Episode 2 - Into the Greate Wide Open
Jules spends an entire episode essentially reenacting The Hangover, and it aint pretty.
"Fringe"
Episode 6 - Earthling
It's the one where people turn to ash. By far the coolest special effect they've done yet.
"Glee"
Episode 6 - Vitamin D
It's when the girls go against the boys. But honestly, I could watch every single one of them all over again.
"Gossip Girl"
Episode 12 - The Debarted
Chuck comes to terms with his father's death and discovers that his mother might have faked hers.
"Grey's Anatomy"
Episode 5 - Invasion & 6 - I Saw What I Saw
They both brought the series back to what it was all about: competing for surgeries, failing miserably, learning from their mistakes, and falling in love all at the same time.
"How I Met Your Mother"
Episode 8 - The Playbook
Anything that involves Barney chronicling his lechery is extremely fascinating, so it was particularly interesting to get a peak into his playbook.
"Lie to Me"
Episode 1 - The Core of It
Interrogating one liar is tense enough. Imagine interrogating a liar with multiple personalities and a killer secret.
Episode 5 - Grievous Bodily Harm
He has to choose between his life and a friend who he owes his life to. Quite the conundrum.
"Mad Men"
Episode 10 - "Mad Men"
Dude, someone's foot got chopped off by a lawn mower. Just when you think the business is going one way, it just careens off into a different direction. It was like a metaphor for their unpredictable lives.
"The Mentalist"
Episode 8 - His Red Right Hand
It was super creepy. Red John infiltrated the CBI, got a psychotic woman to do his dirty work, nearly killed Bosco, and then offed his accomplice. It was suspenseful and nervewracking.
"The Middle"
Episode 8 - Thanksgiving
It's probably the worst Thanksgiving in the history of recorded Thanksgivings. She really makes motherhood look hard.
"Modern Family"
Episode 9 - Fizbo
Cameron reveals his clown alter-ego Fizbo and manages to turn Mitchell on, while terrifying the crap out of Phil, all while a scorpion roams the over-stuffed kids' party.
"The Office"
Episode 10 - Murder
When you're on the verge of unemployment--and I know what that feels like--it's nice to have a little distraction. And while Michael's was a bit unorthodox, it was also exactly what the staff needed. It showed for once that sometimes he knows exactly what he's doing.
"Parks & Recreation"
Episode 10 - Hunting Trip
I laughed so hard at this episode, from Leslie one-upping Ron to the super inefficient investigation of who eventually shoots him.
"Smallville"
Episode 9 - Idol
Lois starts to get wise to Clark's secret identity and the Wonder Twins show up to help him hide it.
"True Blood"
Episode 8 - Timebomb
Jason goes all Rambo to save his sister, Eric tries to sacrifice himself for her twice, and a major terrorist-like vampire explosion happens leading to the death of Godric. It was a jampacked episode.
"Ugly Betty"
Episode 8 - The Bahamas Triangle
The fashion, the comedy, the romantic entanglements were all at the top of their game. Most importantly, Amanda restored her self-respect, finally blowing Matt off, and Betty grew a backbone, exchanging quips with both Mark and Amanda.
"Vampire Diaries"
Damon finally reveals his true intentions and we get a sneak peak into Bonnie's mystical powers.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
TV: Favorite New Characters of 2009
There's always that one character(s) that keeps you coming back every week. Here are the ones that have me hooked:
Cameron and Mitchell from "Modern Family"
This lovely couple are polar opposites. One's pleasantly plump and the other is thin. One's flamboyant and the other's afraid of public ridicule. One's overly enthusiastic and the other is overly sarcastic. They;re an important representation of a modern couple trying to survive in an unforgiving world.
My Favorite Moment: It has to be when they accidentally locked Lily in the car and the emergency operator was concerned about Mitchell's "wife" hyperventilating, when it was actually Cameron who was losing his mind.
Troy and Abed from "Community"
This comedy duo is pretty funny apart. They're deadpan (Abed) and dimwitted (Troy) one-liner deliveries have me rolling every Thursday night. But when they get together for their post-credit schticks, making up Spanish songs and talking about donut-eating, cannibalistic nightmares, it really steps the episode up several notches.
My Favorite Moment: The Spanish Rap song and Abed's Batman impression.
Davis from "Accidentally on Purpose"
Because of the unbelievably inappropriate things that he says and does the show is ten times funnier. The premise is bearable, but without his stoner mentality and "sage" advice, it would be a flop.
My Favorite Moment: When he tried to quit smoking weed to prove he'd be a good babysitter/godfather.
Joan from "Mad Men"
Roger Sterling is a douche! How could you possibly leave your wife for that dimwitted secretary and not leave her for Joanie? Ok, so maybe Joan didn't want to be the office homewrecker, but let's be honest, who would have the balls to call her that to her face? She is a towering inferno. Jessica Rabbit, in the flesh. I thought she was crazy to marry the doctor after he forced himself on her in the office, but she totally made up for it when she smashed that glass vase over his head. She's the only lady on TV who could pull that off and still seem elegant.
My Favorite Moment: Aside from the vase-to-face action, I liked that when Roger and Don were planning their midnight coup and Roger said that they needed a skirt to sort their paperwork, she came in with pants. That's right! Cause she's no skirt!
Cole from "Scrubs"
I'm no stranger to obnoxious trust fund kids who try to coast through life. I've seen "Gossip Girl," "The O.C.," "Melrose Place," "90210," and "Privileged." I've attended NYU. I've been schooled. But this kid is like what happens when you leave your trust fund baby unattended for 20 years and he's basically raised by BET, deluded into believing that he's a player. He's like Vanilla Ice, if he were born rich. The things that come out of his mouth are unbelievable. I get that he's supposed to be a representation of today's generation, which abbreviate words, use -izzle as a suffix, and think perversion is a form of flattery, but that still doesn't soften the blow of every idiotic line that comes out of his mouth.
My Favorite Moment: Anytime he surprises me with a twist on a medical term that if heard by a patient would make them beg for a new doctor or threaten a lawsuit at the notion of malpractice.
Damon from "Vampire Diaries"
You gotta give it up to Ian Somerhalder—thirty years old and playing an undead badass on a teen vampire series. Damon is like if Angelus bit Chuck Bass and made him his little protege, then set him free in the world to wreak havoc. He's vindictive and genuinely terrifying, but at the same time easy to pity and fall for. I can't freaking wait till Elena considers for a millisecond the potential that he has as a boyfriend, lover, maker, whatever.
My Favorite Moment: When he did his fake growl imitation of Stefan in the pilot episode.
Tom from "Parks & Recreation"
I'm a fan of ethnic people not playing into their stereotypes, but he's such a polar opposite of the culture he represents that I'm pretty sure they deny any relation. Tom is a backboneless, opportunistic, condescending perv. He's exactly the kind of politician you'd find in a Pawnee government office if politicians were uncensored and unashamed to be completely inconscienable. While it's fun to watch him run amok, it's also nice to see that of the all the people in the office, he's the most likely to cut her some slack. He may be a perv on paper (restraining order-wise), but at the end of the day, he's reliable.
My Favorite Moment: The episode when he got a divorce and he refused a lapdance because he was depressed.
April from "Parks & Recreation"
When I started watching the series, I thought she was an insult to my generation. We're not angsty, soulless, nonresponsive, little weirdos with dead eyes. Ok, maybe I was being a bit touchy. But she was the only teenager on the series, and it was only...four years ago that the word teen was in my age, so I felt slighted on their behalf. But when I saw the fifth episode, where Pawnee has to play host to Venezuelan diplomats and represent for America, I started to warm up to her. She revealed she was half Spanish and that she was fluent. Then she proceeded to reject the Venezuelan intern in Spanish, ignore his threats of suicide, and participate in what could only be referred to as the first bilingual soap opera within an American mockumentary. Hands down, the funniest gringo-speaking-Spanish soap opera I've seen since Jack spotted his doppleganger on Telemundo in "30 Rock."
My Favorite Moment: Aside from her Spanish skit, I've been enjoying her school-girl crush on Andy, and her coy glances at the camera.
Abby from "Accidentally on Purpose"
High-strung people can be a bit grating. But her frantic exclamations of excitement or frustration make her seem more...medicated than uptight, which adds to the laughs. No seriously, she has you wondering if maybe her parents slipped in a little Ritalin with her morning cereal and then handed that little problem off to her husband once he slid that engagement ring on her finger. She provides a nice contrast to the uber mellow Davis.
My Favorite Moment: When she asked to borrow Billie's dress while she was already wearing it, and when she said that she answers the phone during sex because she has entered into several sweepstakes. I really hope she's not based on a real person. lol
Brick from "The Middle"
That boy is weird. That really is all you have to know. His one-liners are bizarre and inappropriate, and generally not something a child should ever think or say, but they're not profane. They're just genuinely weird, which is what I personally think most children are anyway. He's like the perfect representation of how weird kids can be. I once assisted my daycare-teacher mom in her classroom and watched as a 4-year-old covertly deposited stolen apple juice into her backpack. Asking apparently never occurred to her. You say "future juvenile delinquent." I say "little weirdo."
My Favorite Moment: Whenever he whispers a word under his breath loud enough to creep out his parents. Hilarious!
Victor from "Dollhouse"
This series was supposed to be a vehicle to show the different personalities Eliza Dushku could take on, proving her worth as an actress. However, Enver Gjokaj was actually the one who outdid everyone on the show, seamlessly moving between personalities and accents like he was meant to play a double agent.
My Favorite Moment: When Victor did an astoundingly perfect Topher impression, goofy mannerisms and all.
Joanna and Max from "Eastwick"
I knew this show was doomed from the start, so I wasn't surprised when it was cancelled. But it started to get good when they added Jason Winston George's character Max, giving Joanna a romantic interest that was worth tuning in for. He gets under skin and if it got renewed, we could've seen the entire evolution of their love-hate relationship. Although, last night it seemed as though he was ordered to infiltrate her life. Hmm.
My Favorite Moment: When he shamelessly stole her job and her story.
Jordan from "Ruby and the Rockits"
I know you probably don't watch the Family Channel or anything that's on it (aside from "Greek" of course), but I swear to you Austin Robert Butler is an extremely funny kid. He made incest funny...and that's NEVER funny. His disturbingly hilarious crush on his cousin Ruby is the funniest part of the series, because even though he's hot enough to get any girl he wants, the only one he does want is related to him. Trust me. You have to see it to believe it.
My Favorite Moment: Any time he stumbles over double entendres that sound like he's in love with her, causing his little brother to call him some variation of "pathetic."
This lovely couple are polar opposites. One's pleasantly plump and the other is thin. One's flamboyant and the other's afraid of public ridicule. One's overly enthusiastic and the other is overly sarcastic. They;re an important representation of a modern couple trying to survive in an unforgiving world.
My Favorite Moment: It has to be when they accidentally locked Lily in the car and the emergency operator was concerned about Mitchell's "wife" hyperventilating, when it was actually Cameron who was losing his mind.
This comedy duo is pretty funny apart. They're deadpan (Abed) and dimwitted (Troy) one-liner deliveries have me rolling every Thursday night. But when they get together for their post-credit schticks, making up Spanish songs and talking about donut-eating, cannibalistic nightmares, it really steps the episode up several notches.
My Favorite Moment: The Spanish Rap song and Abed's Batman impression.
Because of the unbelievably inappropriate things that he says and does the show is ten times funnier. The premise is bearable, but without his stoner mentality and "sage" advice, it would be a flop.
My Favorite Moment: When he tried to quit smoking weed to prove he'd be a good babysitter/godfather.
Roger Sterling is a douche! How could you possibly leave your wife for that dimwitted secretary and not leave her for Joanie? Ok, so maybe Joan didn't want to be the office homewrecker, but let's be honest, who would have the balls to call her that to her face? She is a towering inferno. Jessica Rabbit, in the flesh. I thought she was crazy to marry the doctor after he forced himself on her in the office, but she totally made up for it when she smashed that glass vase over his head. She's the only lady on TV who could pull that off and still seem elegant.
My Favorite Moment: Aside from the vase-to-face action, I liked that when Roger and Don were planning their midnight coup and Roger said that they needed a skirt to sort their paperwork, she came in with pants. That's right! Cause she's no skirt!
I'm no stranger to obnoxious trust fund kids who try to coast through life. I've seen "Gossip Girl," "The O.C.," "Melrose Place," "90210," and "Privileged." I've attended NYU. I've been schooled. But this kid is like what happens when you leave your trust fund baby unattended for 20 years and he's basically raised by BET, deluded into believing that he's a player. He's like Vanilla Ice, if he were born rich. The things that come out of his mouth are unbelievable. I get that he's supposed to be a representation of today's generation, which abbreviate words, use -izzle as a suffix, and think perversion is a form of flattery, but that still doesn't soften the blow of every idiotic line that comes out of his mouth.
My Favorite Moment: Anytime he surprises me with a twist on a medical term that if heard by a patient would make them beg for a new doctor or threaten a lawsuit at the notion of malpractice.
You gotta give it up to Ian Somerhalder—thirty years old and playing an undead badass on a teen vampire series. Damon is like if Angelus bit Chuck Bass and made him his little protege, then set him free in the world to wreak havoc. He's vindictive and genuinely terrifying, but at the same time easy to pity and fall for. I can't freaking wait till Elena considers for a millisecond the potential that he has as a boyfriend, lover, maker, whatever.
My Favorite Moment: When he did his fake growl imitation of Stefan in the pilot episode.
I'm a fan of ethnic people not playing into their stereotypes, but he's such a polar opposite of the culture he represents that I'm pretty sure they deny any relation. Tom is a backboneless, opportunistic, condescending perv. He's exactly the kind of politician you'd find in a Pawnee government office if politicians were uncensored and unashamed to be completely inconscienable. While it's fun to watch him run amok, it's also nice to see that of the all the people in the office, he's the most likely to cut her some slack. He may be a perv on paper (restraining order-wise), but at the end of the day, he's reliable.
My Favorite Moment: The episode when he got a divorce and he refused a lapdance because he was depressed.
When I started watching the series, I thought she was an insult to my generation. We're not angsty, soulless, nonresponsive, little weirdos with dead eyes. Ok, maybe I was being a bit touchy. But she was the only teenager on the series, and it was only...four years ago that the word teen was in my age, so I felt slighted on their behalf. But when I saw the fifth episode, where Pawnee has to play host to Venezuelan diplomats and represent for America, I started to warm up to her. She revealed she was half Spanish and that she was fluent. Then she proceeded to reject the Venezuelan intern in Spanish, ignore his threats of suicide, and participate in what could only be referred to as the first bilingual soap opera within an American mockumentary. Hands down, the funniest gringo-speaking-Spanish soap opera I've seen since Jack spotted his doppleganger on Telemundo in "30 Rock."
My Favorite Moment: Aside from her Spanish skit, I've been enjoying her school-girl crush on Andy, and her coy glances at the camera.
High-strung people can be a bit grating. But her frantic exclamations of excitement or frustration make her seem more...medicated than uptight, which adds to the laughs. No seriously, she has you wondering if maybe her parents slipped in a little Ritalin with her morning cereal and then handed that little problem off to her husband once he slid that engagement ring on her finger. She provides a nice contrast to the uber mellow Davis.
My Favorite Moment: When she asked to borrow Billie's dress while she was already wearing it, and when she said that she answers the phone during sex because she has entered into several sweepstakes. I really hope she's not based on a real person. lol
That boy is weird. That really is all you have to know. His one-liners are bizarre and inappropriate, and generally not something a child should ever think or say, but they're not profane. They're just genuinely weird, which is what I personally think most children are anyway. He's like the perfect representation of how weird kids can be. I once assisted my daycare-teacher mom in her classroom and watched as a 4-year-old covertly deposited stolen apple juice into her backpack. Asking apparently never occurred to her. You say "future juvenile delinquent." I say "little weirdo."
My Favorite Moment: Whenever he whispers a word under his breath loud enough to creep out his parents. Hilarious!
This series was supposed to be a vehicle to show the different personalities Eliza Dushku could take on, proving her worth as an actress. However, Enver Gjokaj was actually the one who outdid everyone on the show, seamlessly moving between personalities and accents like he was meant to play a double agent.
My Favorite Moment: When Victor did an astoundingly perfect Topher impression, goofy mannerisms and all.
I knew this show was doomed from the start, so I wasn't surprised when it was cancelled. But it started to get good when they added Jason Winston George's character Max, giving Joanna a romantic interest that was worth tuning in for. He gets under skin and if it got renewed, we could've seen the entire evolution of their love-hate relationship. Although, last night it seemed as though he was ordered to infiltrate her life. Hmm.
My Favorite Moment: When he shamelessly stole her job and her story.
I know you probably don't watch the Family Channel or anything that's on it (aside from "Greek" of course), but I swear to you Austin Robert Butler is an extremely funny kid. He made incest funny...and that's NEVER funny. His disturbingly hilarious crush on his cousin Ruby is the funniest part of the series, because even though he's hot enough to get any girl he wants, the only one he does want is related to him. Trust me. You have to see it to believe it.
My Favorite Moment: Any time he stumbles over double entendres that sound like he's in love with her, causing his little brother to call him some variation of "pathetic."
TV Dictionary of 2009
The pop culture zeitgeist adds a lot of new words and phrases to our everyday vernacular. Here are a few from 2009 that I’ve deciphered for your future over-use:
Benjamin Button Syndrome
n. It's when a person looks much younger than they actually are, or are doing something that doesn't apply to their age. i.e. Teaching high school straight out of college.
Source: Dan's description of the new young female professor on "Gossip Girl."
Christan Bale-d
v. to spontaneously scream at someone for an unknown and irrational reason.
Source: "It was hard to understand anything he said after he Christian Bale-d on me," said Kat about Patrick on ABC Family's "10 Things I Hate About You"
Drive-by
n. A moment when someone hits you with an insult or a back-handed comment that you didn't expect them to make.
Source: When Bree implied that Orson wasn't a real doctor on "Desperate Housewives," he said, "That was a bit of a drive-by."
Easy Bake Oven
n. It's a euphemism for a slutty girl's va jay jay.
Source: Casey to a snobby rich girl on "The Unusuals": "They called your junk the easy bake oven."
Factory Girl
n. A music artist who was manufactured by a record company.
Source: Echo accuses a pop star she's guarding of being one in "Dollhouse."
Golf Guygest
n. a period of time when guys talk about golf.
Source: "Castle"
Internet Hotness Conversion Factor
n. It's the filter that people use when describing themselves on the Internet, which usually results in them being thinner and taller.
Source: The boys of the Buy More used this to justify Big Mike's exaggerated description on a dating website on "Chuck."
L.U.G.
n. an acronym for "Lesbian Until Graduation."
Source: "Gossip Girl"
Madonna Whore
n. A girl who is too nice to have sex with--even after 10 dates.
Source: Marco's description of Megan on "Privileged"
The Mosby
n. Say "I love you" to someone far too early in a relationship.
Source: A description of a signature dumping move that was accidentally originated by Ted on "How I Met Your Mother."
Narco Traficante
n. A person who traffics drugs across borders. i.e. a drug mule
Source: Sock was spitballing theories as to why Ben had disappeared suddenly on "Reaper," and apparently he thought Ben being a drug mule was a plausible assumption.
"Read a magazine"
It's a euphemism for another euphemism: "to take a dump."
Source: Of course, "How I Met Your Mother" had to use a dying industry to describe excrement disposal.
Rush Crush
n. A person you're dying to initiate into your fraternity/sorority.
Source: "Greek"
Taste Sensation
n. The feeling that occurs after eating something that doesn't taste good, but isn't gross enough to throw up. Helpful when describing meals that are served during the holidays at the homes of your relatives.
Source: Kate Beckinsale on "Ellen"
Tupac
v. Faking someone's death so that they can become more respected and famous.
Source: Jack said to Jenna on "30 Rock": "I want to Tupac you."
Benjamin Button Syndrome
n. It's when a person looks much younger than they actually are, or are doing something that doesn't apply to their age. i.e. Teaching high school straight out of college.
Source: Dan's description of the new young female professor on "Gossip Girl."
Christan Bale-d
v. to spontaneously scream at someone for an unknown and irrational reason.
Source: "It was hard to understand anything he said after he Christian Bale-d on me," said Kat about Patrick on ABC Family's "10 Things I Hate About You"
Drive-by
n. A moment when someone hits you with an insult or a back-handed comment that you didn't expect them to make.
Source: When Bree implied that Orson wasn't a real doctor on "Desperate Housewives," he said, "That was a bit of a drive-by."
Easy Bake Oven
n. It's a euphemism for a slutty girl's va jay jay.
Source: Casey to a snobby rich girl on "The Unusuals": "They called your junk the easy bake oven."
Factory Girl
n. A music artist who was manufactured by a record company.
Source: Echo accuses a pop star she's guarding of being one in "Dollhouse."
Golf Guygest
n. a period of time when guys talk about golf.
Source: "Castle"
Internet Hotness Conversion Factor
n. It's the filter that people use when describing themselves on the Internet, which usually results in them being thinner and taller.
Source: The boys of the Buy More used this to justify Big Mike's exaggerated description on a dating website on "Chuck."
L.U.G.
n. an acronym for "Lesbian Until Graduation."
Source: "Gossip Girl"
Madonna Whore
n. A girl who is too nice to have sex with--even after 10 dates.
Source: Marco's description of Megan on "Privileged"
The Mosby
n. Say "I love you" to someone far too early in a relationship.
Source: A description of a signature dumping move that was accidentally originated by Ted on "How I Met Your Mother."
Narco Traficante
n. A person who traffics drugs across borders. i.e. a drug mule
Source: Sock was spitballing theories as to why Ben had disappeared suddenly on "Reaper," and apparently he thought Ben being a drug mule was a plausible assumption.
"Read a magazine"
It's a euphemism for another euphemism: "to take a dump."
Source: Of course, "How I Met Your Mother" had to use a dying industry to describe excrement disposal.
Rush Crush
n. A person you're dying to initiate into your fraternity/sorority.
Source: "Greek"
Taste Sensation
n. The feeling that occurs after eating something that doesn't taste good, but isn't gross enough to throw up. Helpful when describing meals that are served during the holidays at the homes of your relatives.
Source: Kate Beckinsale on "Ellen"
Tupac
v. Faking someone's death so that they can become more respected and famous.
Source: Jack said to Jenna on "30 Rock": "I want to Tupac you."
MUSIC: Favorite Singles of 2009
These are my favorite singles (in no particular order) that I've had on replay all year long. Enjoy the free playlist on Youtube! (some songs aren't available):
Lily Allen's "Fuck You"
Kelly Clarkson's "Whyyawannabringmedown"
Gavin DeGraw's "Waterfall"
A Moment's Worth's "Too Far, Too Long"
The Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow" and "Electric City"
Parachute's "Losing Sleep" and "The Mess I Made"
Hannah Montana's "He Could Be the One"
Jonas Brothers' "Much Better" and "Poison Ivy"
Demi Lovato's "Got Dynamite"
Paramore's "The Only Exception" and "All I Wanted"
Shakira's "Men in this Town"
Carrie Underwood's "Undo It"
Chris Brown's "I Gotta Be Your Man"
Justin Bieber's "One Time"
Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield"
Beyonce's "Sweet Dreams"
Mary J. Blige's "The One" feat. Drake
Keisha's "Tik Tok"
Tyrone Wells's "Sink or Swim"
Pitbull's "I Know You Want Me"
Jet's "She's a Genius"
Jay-Z's "Run this Town" feat. Rihanna and Kanye West
Alison Iraheta's "D is for Dangerous"
Jay Sean's "Down"
Michael Buble's "Cry Me a River" and "Haven't Met You Yet"
Leona Lewis's "Fly Here Now"
Colbie Caillat's "Falling for you"
Lily Allen's "Fuck You"
Kelly Clarkson's "Whyyawannabringmedown"
Gavin DeGraw's "Waterfall"
A Moment's Worth's "Too Far, Too Long"
The Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow" and "Electric City"
Parachute's "Losing Sleep" and "The Mess I Made"
Hannah Montana's "He Could Be the One"
Jonas Brothers' "Much Better" and "Poison Ivy"
Demi Lovato's "Got Dynamite"
Paramore's "The Only Exception" and "All I Wanted"
Shakira's "Men in this Town"
Carrie Underwood's "Undo It"
Chris Brown's "I Gotta Be Your Man"
Justin Bieber's "One Time"
Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield"
Beyonce's "Sweet Dreams"
Mary J. Blige's "The One" feat. Drake
Keisha's "Tik Tok"
Tyrone Wells's "Sink or Swim"
Pitbull's "I Know You Want Me"
Jet's "She's a Genius"
Jay-Z's "Run this Town" feat. Rihanna and Kanye West
Alison Iraheta's "D is for Dangerous"
Jay Sean's "Down"
Michael Buble's "Cry Me a River" and "Haven't Met You Yet"
Leona Lewis's "Fly Here Now"
Colbie Caillat's "Falling for you"
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