MUSIC: Blake Lewis "Break Anotha"

Sixth season American Idol runner-up Blake Lewis has finally released a track. Since the beginning of the musical reality show, there's been no etched formula that can determine which contestants would make a name for themselves in the music business once the season was over. Kelly Clarkson was the most successful of AIers, but Carrie Underwood has recently taken over her throne. After season 2, Clay Aiken, the runner-up, made a bigger splash than the winner, Ruben Studdard. Is it possible that Lewis will out-shine Jordan Sparks?

His first release was his most successful song on the show, a remix of Bon Jovi's "You give love a bad name." I don't watch Idol and even I thought his rendition was one to be seen and heard. On the show, he was well-known for his beatboxing, but he can also play the guitar, keyboard, and drums. After being signed to Arista Records in August, he started recording A.D.D. (Audio Day Dream), which will be released December 4th. This single, "Break Anotha," will be the one to establish the genre he wants to be associated with.

He co-wrote the track and some of his musician friends are on back vocals, drums, and saxophone. It truly does sound like he's having a lot of fun. It has a mix of Country, Rock-n-Roll, and Hip Hop. And the vocals sound familiar, like a synced harmonizing of Robin Thicke, Marc Broussard and JC Chasez. But the real show-stopper is the composition, which is so versatile that it could extend itself over several genres. Enjoy:

ALBUM REVIEW: Britney Spears' "Blackout"

If you lower the volume on your iPod when you're on the train/bus as the back beat of "Toxic" starts streaming through your headphones at full blast, then you might appreciate Britney's latest album "Blackout" in stores today. Granted there are a few duds: the 80s-style Kylie Minogue-rip off "Heaven on Earth," the horrible attempt at rapping "Toy Soldier," the ill-conceived R&B circa Salt-n-Pepa "Hot as ice," the Paris Hilton-like "Perfect Lover," and the lyrically challenged "Ooh ooh baby" that samples The Turtles' "So Happy Together."

Normally Britney's tracks are addictive because they're easy to dance to. And taking that into consideration, it seems she's been kind enough to supply a hefty amount of stripper beats. We've already downloaded (illegally or otherwise) "Gimme More," and the second single, "Pieces of Me," has got me hooked. Here are the other choice tracks that'll have your holiday bashes pumping (just cover the kids' ears):

"Break the Ice"


"Radar"


"Get Naked"


"Freakshow"It sort of has fast-paced-techno-Fergie-type rapping.


"Why Should I be Sad"
This track was produced by The Neptunes, but the real reason I like it is because it isn't a superficial track. It's about her relationship with her ex-husband Kevin and how she should've seen the signs. It sports lyrics like:

"My life was so restricted for you...My friends said you would play me...Filled up our garage for you...I sent you to Vegas/With a pocket full of paper/And with no ultimatums on you/I thought/what could separate us/But it just seemed that Vegas/Only brought the playa up out of you"

Check out the track for yourself:




Since I like 7 out of 12 tracks, I'd say it's an improvement on the Britney franchise. Now if she could only deliver a performance as good as the tracks, then maybe she'll have a shot at reviving her career before the New Year.

TV: Last week on the tube...

Journeyman
I love pop culture references, especially when they're made by older people (Notice how I didn't say old). Dan had a freelancer doing his research, and when the guy couldn't find someone, he got frustrated. The freelancer explained in an exasperated tone: "First of all, it's special ops, so there's not like there's a facebook." It's officially taken over.

Aliens in America
The dumb people on this show continuously crack me up. When Raja managed to destroy the self-esteem of the slutty ice queen she kept calling him Roger. Justin tried to correct her, but she screamed: "Is your name Roger?," and he, of course, responded with: "No. Nobody's is." I couldn't stop laughing at how hilarious such a simple joke could be.

Samantha, who?
I really wasn't expecting this show to be that funny. But all of the characters just keep delivering joke-after-joke. In this episode, her mom abruptly awoke her with the super considerate: "Wake up sleepy head. You're not in a comma anymore." And her bff Andrea conveniently informed her that she was afraid of elevators as the doors were closing. Sam may have forgotten her phobia and that she was getting a boob job (what a startling discovery), but the funniest thing that lapsed her mind was that her secretary was a diabetic, since she tried to force her to consume two slices of cake just to prove she could be fun and likeable. Good to know the crazy Sam is still in there somewhere.

Heroes
I knew that Parkman's dad--Nightmare Man--was a total a-hole. But it's cool to know that some day he will have the power to create alternate realities just like that girl from last season. What was uncool about this episode was Kristen Bell's seemingly lame power. We know that Peter didn't have an electricity power before he got amnesia, but I'm assuming he must've contracted it from Kristen's character. Electricity? Really? That's it? Not that the show's known for it's comedy, but the funniest part of the episode was when Parkman implied that Nathan could fly them to wherever they had to go and Nathan responded with a tart: "I'm not a cargo jet Parkman." Then what else are you good for Nathan? What else? Staring at yourself in the mirror?

Bionic Woman
In case you didn't know the actress playing Jamie is British. So I was a little annoyed that it seems she was taking a vacation from being an American during this episode when she spent 90% of it pretending to be a Brit as an undercover college student wooing a TA. It got particularly annoying when she did it when no one was around. And when Nathan, the tech guy, asked the same thing, she lamely responded: "I'm a method actor." Oh please. Their dynamic, however, is quite amusing. When she's sent to find info on a professor's computer, she complains that she's a "glorified fax machine." And Nathan comforts her with the sarcastic retort: "Come on, don't sell yourself short. You can also open cans." Her relationship with Isaiah/Antonio is a little more strained. She didn't believe the TA was in on it--which he wasn't--but Antonio was a little wary, jabbing her with: "The last time you listened to your gut about a guy he had your limbs replaced." oooh. Even Nathan was a little suspicious (or jealous) of the guy, saying: "What does a guy have to do to get you to break up with him? He had you Manchurian Candidated." I was hoping they weren't going to go for the fall-for-the-bad-guy formula, because there's only so many times I can withstand sheer stupidity. Thankfully, the TA was an undercover agent. I look forward to their flirtatious 007 missions in the future.

Life
This show might as well be a comedy. A guy Charlie's trying to get information out of whines when Charlie breaks his finger, and Charlie has the audacity to respond, "Dislocated--let's not overexaggerate." Then Dani gets into a loopy discussion with him and somehow reaches the conclusion that "No one is no one," and he's shocked to exclaim that she's starting to sound like him. Naturally, she passionately responds, "Take that back!" I, too, would fear turning into this poor, psychotic ex-con. On the dramatic side of the show, we learn that Charlie's ex-partner may have been involved in a cover up where a bunch of cops stole money after busting up a bank heist. Meanwhile, we learn that Dani can easily be brought to her knees if you vividly describe the debilitating symptoms of drug withdrawal, how she got hooked undercover, and how she fell in love with her target. Man, these people are screwed up in the head.

Friday Night Lights
Finally, Riggins gets to do something other than being a man-whore and Julie realizes her older boyfriend is a douchebag. Now we just need to get Matt a new girlfriend and Landry some self-esteem.

Chuck
This episode was pretty funny and I appreciated the Morgan-time, but learning what Mother's Day meant to them was the saddest thing I've ever seen. It's remarkable how upbeat Chuck can stay even though both his parents abandoned him, he was kicked out of college, and the last serious girlfriend he had left him for someone hotter. He should hate the world. No worries, I hate it for him.

FILM: Box Office Results - 10/29/07

Unsurprisingly, Saw IV hacked up the box office, scaring up a healthy $32 mil at the #1 spot. And for those who were looking for less blood and more heart, Dan in Real Life did the trick and got it's treat of the #2 spot with a meager $12 mil gross. I have a feeling--with the reviews it received--that it'll be a sleeper hit all the way through Thanksgiving. 30 Days of Night, the 2nd horror choice in theaters, stuck it out in the top 5, slipping to the #3 spot and grossing $27 mil. Gone Baby Gone dropped only one spot to #7 with $11 mil. Rendition left the top 10 with a disappointing $8 mil.

This weekend we've got an interesting mix hitting theaters. In the dramatic thriller corner, we have the long-awaited and Jay-Z-supported American Gangster. In the heart-wrenching drama section, we have the John Cusack tear-jerker Martian Child. And in the animated kid's corner, we have the overly publicized Jerry Seinfield comedy Bee Movie. Lastly, there's the indies: Sidney Lumet's crime thriller Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and Don Cheadle's documentary Darfur Now.

FILM: New to the Box Office - 10/26/07

SAW IV

If you want the shit scared out of you this Halloween and you've already seen 30 Days of Night, watch Saw I, II and III, and then go to the midnight viewing of IV. If you need a plot, then you clearly don't understand the purpose of this weekend. However, here you go: "The deaths of Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda ensnare Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), SWAT Commander Rigg (Lyriq Bent) and FBI agents Strahm (Gilmore Girls' Scott Patterson) and Perez (Athena Karkanis) in the grisly details of the killers' final game."


DAN IN REAL LIFE

You want to see something scary? Dive into the mind of a single dad who's falling in love with his brother's girlfriend. Granted, maybe Steve Carell would have a bit of trouble competing with Dane Cook in real life. But for Juliette Binoche (Chocolat)? I don't think so. She's just far too sophisticated for Cook. They're an unmatched pair from the start, so it's easy to root for Carell's poor sap. (By the way, when will he start playing characters who have backbone?) Think of it as a mix between Meet the Parents--chocked full of embarrassing slapstick--and The Family Stone--adorable family moments. It's perfect for a Thanksgiving primer, as well as a sweet little romantic dramedy before the holidays.

There are also a lot of indies coming out. See for yourself.

FILM: Hayden Christensen's "Jumper" trailer

Granted this film won't be out until February 2005, but in keeping with our generation's super-hero craze, production companies are fueling our Heroes/X-Men obsession. One of the most beloved characters on the NBC show is the time-traveling, tele-porting, time-stopping Hiro Nakamura, while one of the most anticipated characters in the X-Men films was the teleporting Nightcrawler. So if you love those characters and/or think their power is awesome, you just might give Steven Gould's novel Jumper a chance. Doug Liman, director of the Bourne trilogy and Mr & Mrs. Smith, is directing, and Simon Kinberg, writer of Mr. & Mrs. Smith and X-Men: The Last Stand, is the screenwriter.

So obviously this is one of those films where stunts and cinematography take precedence over casting and/or plot. But if those two other aspects were placed on a hierarchy scale, plot would certainly go first. As it turns out the novel, like Heroes, is about a guy who has a genetic anomaly that allows him to teleport. Being a 20-something year old, he uses it for frivolous things like getting from the couch to the refrigerator or sunbathing on an Egyptian pyramid. Unfortunately, there are consequences for every time that he "jumps," and Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot) and Samuel L. Jackson are there to inform him of what those are. Apparently, the jumpers are at war with one another--they have been for thousands of years and for some unknown reason they want him dead. Bell is a fellow jumper who is sort of...crazy, Jackson seems to be playing the bad guy with a wicked cool whip (?) that stops Hayden from jumping, and, of course, Rachel Bilson (The O.C.) is there to...get in the way. Check out the trailer:

FILM/TV: Funny Girls

On the cover of Vanity Fair in March 2007, 4 male comedians donned the cover of the Hollywood issue, honored for their ability to give us a few laughs. So I got to thinking about female comedians. How many are there? I had to stretch the definition a bit, but I found three dozen funny ladies and put them in age order. Check out the slideshow:

FUNNY GIRLS

MUSIC: "Take you there" Sean Kingston

Why is it that every song Sean Kingston sings sounds so cryptic. The chorus for "Beautiful Girls" has him saying the ladies make him suicidal, in "Me Love" he says he feels like he's "drowning in the ocean," and in this new single he says he can take you "to the slums/where killers get hung/shorty I can take you there." Does he realize these are supposed to be love songs? Either way, the beats are hot enough to sway to while you're working or hanging out with your friends. Enjoy:

MUSIC: "Till the End of Time" Justin feat. Beyonce

I'm not sure why I expected a collaboration between Beyonce and Justin Timberlake to be a lot more epic of a production. The slow jam passes for an acceptable addition to a sultry bedroom mix tape, but aside from that doesn't exactly scream "Grammy!" Give it a listen for yourself:

FILM: Box Office Results - 10/22/07

30 Days of Night lead the pack this weekend at #1 with $16 mil, which would suggest that comic fans were intrigued with the adaptation. As for Gone Baby Gone, Ben Affleck's brain child, it may have only reached #5 with $6 mil, but critics were in awe of the budding director. The Village Voice raved, "In his strikingly downbeat directorial debut, Affleck has created something of a blue-moon rarity: an American movie of genuine moral complexity." Looks like he's broken out of his Gigli curse. Rendition, however, the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, critics and moviegoers alike were not impressed, placing it at #9 with $4 mil. Joaquin Phoenix doesn't seem to be having any luck at the box office either lately. Not only did We Own the Night drop four spots to #7 and only amass $19 mil, but Reservation Road debuted in 13 theaters with a mere $37,000. Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro also suffered a serious blow when their wide release of over 1,000 theaters only grossed $1.6 mil. Critics were on the fence about it, some saying that it was a jarring tale of addiction and loss and others knocking it for its unappealing soap opera-like drama.

Meanwhile, Tyler Perry's Why did I get married? is still holding on at #2, up to a profitable $38 mil, and The Game Plan shows no signs of retiring from the top 5 yet, gripping #3 in its 4th week with a healthy $69 mil gross. Dramas aren't getting the shaft though. Michael Clayton is at #4 with a generous $21 mil. The Elizabeth sequel, however, dropped out of the top 10 with a sad $11 mil.

Next week 30 Days of Night will have to compete with Saw IV for horror lovers and maybe Steve Carrell will redeem the romantic comedy genre that was dragged through the mud by Good Luck Chuck and Heartbreak Kid with Dan in Real Life.

TV: This week on the tube...

Funny lines and interesting or annoying plot points of the week.

Big Bang Theory
Fave line: Sheldon gets fired and Leonard calls his mom to talk him down from his midlife crisis. To our amusement it turns out the nerd's mom is a super religious red neck. And this is her attempt at common courtesy towards people of other religions, like his Islamic friend: "I made chicken. I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic." That's one of those "Did I just hear that?" moments.

Chuck
I love that they're sticking to the 90% playful 10% action formula that they started with. My favorite line by Chuck was a cheap shot: he called a criminal dressed in a thong and covered in hair, Senor Wookie. Oh yes, I'm that easy. But John actually got the best laugh from me when he lectured some goon on smoking, saying "Studies indicate that smoking can be hazardous to your health. Pick up a paper. From the 60s." Then he chuckles at his own joke like the douchebag that he is. Easily, the nicest douchebag on television. His chemistry with Sarah is on the brother-sister level. In this episode, we meet a foxy vixen who's sort of Sarah's bff and who is definitely John's wet dream. So when she chains him to the bed half naked and leaves him stranded, it's only fitting that Sarah snap a pic with her cellphone before untieing him. The real chemistry is supposed to be between Sarah and Chuck, even though critics and viewers don't seem to be feeling the love. The writers must've picked up on that since throughout the episode not only was Chuck's sister saying Sarah's hot for him, but her bff was too. Side note: I now realize who Morgan reminds me of: a dark-haired Seth..no not Seth Cohen...Seth Green.

Reaper
Fave line: The boys watched a magician murder someone and Sock's response to that experience was: "You think seeing Scarface all those times we'd be better prepared for that."
Favorite scene: When Sam complains about a hallucination he has where someone kills him, Sock patronizes him by offering a piggy back ride to cheer him up.
Favorite subplot: Ben's obsession with the vessel, which is in the shape of a dove that he names Winston. He talks slowly to it and cuddles with it, and even goes so far as to threaten Sock when he tries to nudge him down from The Work Bench's ceiling with a wrench, saying, "I'll cut you where you stand."
Creepiest scene: When the devil introduces him to his newest project there are apples strewn around the car wreck. Sam is complaining about not having vacation time and he reminds him who's boss by almost killing him with two trucks. He picks an apple up and takes a bite. It's sort of a jab at the Adam & Eve story--fearless enough to defy God.

Bionic Woman
This episode we learn that bionic people only have 5 years to live--just like a computer. Hell, after 2 years you might need to upgrade your laptop, cell phone, Palm Pilot, iPod, and game console, so it's only natural that they'd have to update their killing machine. Unfortunately, since this operation was not through a volunteer program, Jamie is none to pleased. However, Jonas did bring up a good point. Five years is a lifetime in technology and perhaps they will find a way to fix her. Although it won't be with the help of the chip with all of Nick's unauthorized research on it, because apparently Jamie will trust anyone who either saves her or whines a little. Jonas was unceremoniously informed that Jamie isn't Sarah. She's not going to murder people on command. And we learn that he didn't know Will as well as he thought he did. Meanwhile, Jamie comes to terms with being a horrible sister who lies. Maybe she should focus on learning how to lie instead of being annoyed that she's doing it badly. The whole love story between Jae and Sara is way too bizarre to entertain. But for some odd reason he wants her back. You shot her. It's not like it's your choice.
Favorite line: Nathan, her repair man, is trying to patch up her broken toe and she gets all freaked cause he's staring at her toe. She says, "What? Do you have a foot fetish?" And he responds, "Actually, no Jamie. I'm pretty much just a simple boob man."

Life
This episode we learn that Rachel Saybolt, the little girl who witnessed the crime, is no where to be found because her social service file was apparently misplaced. And maybe it's best she stays missing since the file he did get has drawings of a terrifying (and abstract portrayal) of the murderer, which means she can identify him. And I'm assuming since his face was black in the drawing that the man was black, unless at such a young age she understood the symbolism of the color black. The file also showed that every question they asked her she ignored. So either someone told her to shut up or she's scared shitless. We knew that Charlie was friends with her father, but we learn that they use to run a bar together. The old black guy who shows up every episode preaching that Charlie is the murderer becomes even more suspicious, because when he goes home to find Charlie waiting patiently, he doesn't flinch. Granted the man is drunk 90% of the time, but if you really think he's a murderer wouldn't you be a little afraid?

As for Charlie and Dani's dynamic, even though I thought she was warming to him in the last episode, she claimed that she did not call him her partner in the heat of the moment while arresting a suspect. She so did. But it's fun when she insults him, so she can deny it all she wants. Charlie got so attached to one of their suspects/witnesses that he said: "If he was a cowboy, he'd be my goofy sidekick," and she responded, "Kinda like you're mine?" But there's no chance they'll resolve all of this sexual tension in this season, since it seems he's holding a torch for his married attorney, Constance. Yeah, I was shocked too. I wanted to punch her when she uttered this lame line: "I was looking for you and I didn't know it, and now you're here and I can't have you." What? You've never heard of divorce? Then she has the balls to say that because he's stuck on finding this girl and solving the case, it's like he's still in prison. Translation: I got you out of jail, and I still can't have sex with you. I rather see more interactions with his ex-wife. I love the tension.

Also, I love it when supporting characters get juicy lines:
An obnoxious witness in a crime patronizes his ditzy wife with: "Hypocrite...my, my has somebody been reading?"
Charlie takes the hobo who witnessed the crime home with him and he doesn't exactly mesh well with Ted, so he says: "You oughta grow trees outside--give you privacy...for when you kill Ted."

Heroes
I love this show, but this episode had me all messed up. First off, there was less Peter and Hiro action, which is always disconcerting. (Although I'm excited about Kristen Bell finally making her debut next week.) Instead, I get the selfish and naive Claire, who I hope gets burned by her superboy, West. He's just way too cheesy to be realistic. And his logical method for telling a believable lie wasn't something that a teenager would come up with--more like a professional liar. Then there was the fact that Sylar has met his new victims, Maya and Alejandro. NO! Why can't he lose sometimes? Why is it that every person he meets he has to kill? I get it. He's a super power-having serial killer. Does no one know how to fight back? I mean, other than Peter and Mohinder. I just checked IMDb to get a couple names and it seems that Alejandro has 7 episodes in the bag and Maya has 4, which would suggest that Maya, the virus, gets killed and it's up to Alejandro to cure those that Sylar infects. Oh friggin please. Spare me.

What I did like about this episode though was that Angela Petrelli is going to jail (who cares why), Micah is still the sweet natured kid who wishes he could fix people instead of machines, the new hero, Monica, is shaping up to be New Orleans' Batgirl with her mimicking abilities, and, best of all, the mystery just got way more interesting. The photograph that's been floating around in pieces since the beginning of the season has finally been shown in its entirety. In it we see familiar faces and faces we'll surely see in the future (none of which that I memorized). One face that takes the cake is Matt's dad--the man in Molly's nightmare. I think after seeing him trap Molly in her own consciouness, he most certainly got his telepathy powers from his father. This is going to be good. Real good. And hopefully the preview clip of his ex-wife returning with his baby sprouts something juicy.

Grey's Anatomy
Let's see, George's running around looking like an elf with his head cut off and the ancient intern is making fun of all the things viewers and critics make fun of Grey's for. He laughs at the nicknames (McSteamy), overuses "seriously," and mocks Meredith when she tells him to focus on medicine instead of love just about the time when she isn't. Although all of that, plus Izzie and Callie's showdown, was entertaining, the most interesting part of this episode was actually when Alex went off on Izzie. At first, I thought he was just being mean about her decision to fall in love with George. You know, "how can you fall for that dweeb?" type thing. But he was really really offended that she would say she wasn't ready for another relationship after Denny and then go ahead and sleep with George. Who knew the guy who slept with Addison and "fell in love" with Ava, actually gave a crap what she was doing with her heart? He was mostly offended that she told him so nonchalantly, like he was a "chick friend" and it wouldn't hurt him. That moment was almost as good as when Derek forfeited a weekend of sex because he was tired of being treated like a fling, saying: "I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime." He pretty much told her that he knew she was just a kid and he was willing to wait till she grew up and started wanting what he wanted. But he made no promises that if he were to find someone else along the way that he'd hold out. *Cue the dramatic music.*

Big Shots
The boys try to help Duncan kick his cheating habit. When he quits trying to be celibate in a room full of models at Fashion Week, they run to check on him, which is a little uncharacteristic. Most guys would just let him deal on his own. Seconds later they ask if they can stay and they become overjoyed when he agrees. That's more like it.
Favorite line: "Isn't there a rule about monogamy? If you sleep with one person and wait 12 hours, it's safe to sleep with someone else?" asks Duncan. "That's a half hour," answers Karl. "Yeah, and that's swimming, not sex," corrects Brody.

Women's Murder Club
Angie Harmon is really bad at being sarcastic. She's extremely rigid. Her character, on the other hand, is bad at telling lies. When she sees her ex-husband half-naked with his fiance, she gets annoyed because he doesn't react nervously. But he was cool as a cucumber. The essence of how commitment-phobic some of these girls are was shown when Jill told her boyfriend she had a "getaway box," which is basically filled with a few basic necessities in case she wants out of their relationship without going back to their apartment. Who thinks of that?

Men in Trees
I loved the metaphor in this episode: A person is like a stew. As there is one ingredient that would make it taste delicious, there is one person out there that completes another. Also, Patrick had a little symoblic moment. He tried to change his last name, which is Bachelor. That makes sense since he's not a bachelor anymore and he's getting married. It's like he's shedding the last thing that ties him to the single life.

Friday Night Lights
I, once again, love this show. Anywayz, in this episode the coach got suckered into coming back to town and ditching his crappy job. The fact that Glenn, the science teacher, is filling in where he can't probably factored into that decision. I loved the double entendre he said, "I don't want Glenn over at the house fixing my wife's ice box." The coach and Jason share a common dilemma. They're both great football coaches, but their superiors underappreciate them. Unfortunately, Jason's quitting decision takes him on a trip to Mexico for an experimental operation. I guess I'm a little happy that he's taking Tim with him. It's about time those boys started being friends again.

Gossip Girl
Oh, how I miss Chuck. The resident douchebag was MIA for this episode, giving Blair time to screw around with Jenny, and Dan an opportunity to have his second date with Serena. For some bizarre reason he wanted it to be perfect. He never made an effort like that before. It felt very forced. So forced in fact that he mistook Serena for some preppy bitch who wanted to dine at a fancy restaurant. Clearly he doesn't understand why she likes him. Meanwhile, her mom is inadvertently making the moves on his dad. That's odd, since she doesn't approve of him dating her daughter. He got so tongue-tied in her presence that he actually blurted this out: "My mom used to say, 'There's never a word I met that I didn't like.'" Duly noted. The person who should actually be monitored is Jenny, who learned how to drink like a future alcoholic socialite, party like an underaged diva, cause trouble like a self-righteous bitch, and lie like...Blair. I believe the narrator's exact words were that she went from "Brady to Britney." She even got a nickname: Lil J. Gossip girl's right: "You can't save a damsel if she loves her distress."

Journeyman
This episode we learn two important tidbits about Dan's special skill: 1) Anything goes: which means he can kill someone if he wants to, just as long as he gets the job done. 2) A man named Elliot might be able to explain a lot more to him, since he called him in the past from the present. Also, Elliot new Dan's father, which could mean that his father used to do what he did too.

Cavemen
This episode was dedicated to that inane human practice of commercialism and fads. The caveboys got addicted to a yogurt place that's very similar to that famous LA place Pinkberry. Nick's response to why he would eat at place he thought was a lame fad, "So I know what to hate." So true. We also got to see our first cavegirl. Nick, the pessimist, actually falls for her. "I know cave women and she is the real deal. None of this Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants mumbo jumbo, dancing around, listening to motown songs, and singing into their spoons... Cavewomen know what they want." No he just didn't. It's obvious Nick is one of those guys who likes to get kicked around by his women. After they have sex, she says, "I'm going to take a shower. I feel dirty and unsatisfied." And he sighs, exclaiming: "There goes the mother of my children." She's so bitchy that when she goes to the movies, she demands silence, saying "The baby cries, the mommy dies." Oh, and don't obstruct her view. She told the guy in front of her: "Slouch down or I'll break the top of you off." Andy, fresh out of a relationship, is so ready to get back into dating that he tells Nick to ask her if she has a friend for him during foreplay. He's a very special boy. She gets so into getting her friend a date that when he renegs and says he's gay, she tries to make him kiss a gay guy to prove it. We also get to hear the derrogatory name they call us humans: smoothie. Why smoothie you ask? Because we're not covered in body hair. Hmm.

Carpooler
Cindy, Dougie's wife, is so surprisingly hilarious. She vibrated to a beat that she hummed to get an olive out of her dress.

Ugly Betty
I love that Justin calls gym "the unhappy hour." John Cho made a guest appearance (that might be recurring) where he said, "Sound does not stop right here," referring to the cubicle wall, which is sooo true. I wish everyone around me knew that.

Desperate Housewives
Surprisingly the funniest line of the episode was in the commercial. The snippy half of the new gay duo introduces himself and his lifestyle to Susan. She says, "I've seen a lot of cable, so I get it." And he bitchily responds, "Thank you. I hope we can live up to your stereotype." I'm going to like him.

Dirty Sexy Money
I still don't really like this show. The only thing that salvages every episode is Brian's relationship with his illegitimate son. Priceless. However, the funniest line was when Jeremy said, "I'm Pluto. I'm cold, distant, and alone." How overly dramatic, yet true.

FILM: New to the Box Office - 10/19/07

Rendition

Jake Gyllenhaal has been doing serious dramas for the last 3 years and it doesn't seem he's about to stop anytime soon. He is a dedicated political activist who believes he can make a difference with the parts he plays, hence Jarhead, this film, and one called Brothers that comes out in 2009. Reese Witherspoon hasn't had critically acclaimed work or box office blow outs since 2005's Walk the Line, which she won an Oscar for. But are they the only reasons to give this film a shot? As a war drama, it focuses on the subject of intel. In order to extract information to prevent terrorist attacks, the government has to occasionally use drastic methods. Witherspoon's Egyptian husband is suspected of treason and removed from a flight to DC. Instead of waiting by the phone to hear what the police have come up with, she goes to DC to find out for herself. Going up against the cold hearted politico played by Meryl Streep. Meanwhile, Jake plays the guy who has to interrogate her husband and produce rapid results. Both will struggle with the lengths they are willing to go to in order to find out the truth.


Things we lost in the fire

It's been 7 years since Halle Berry's done anything worth praising (Monster Ball). Perhaps, a pairing with the consistently elusive Benicio Del Toro will bring her career out of its slump. In this tear-jerking drama, she plays a woman who has to deal with the tragic death of her heroic husband (David Duchovny). She invites his drug addicted best friend (Del Toro), who her husband never gave up on, to move in with her and her children. And in between the crying and the reflection and the debilitating sorrow, they try to heal each other's wounds.


Reservation Road

Terry George, the director/screenwriter for Hotel Rwanda, wrote this drama about a man (Mark Ruffalo) who accidentally murders the 11-year-old son of Joaquin Phoenix in a hit-and-run. Ruffalo flees the scene in fear with only his own son as a witness. Jennifer Connelly plays Joaquin's wife and Elle Fanning (Dakota's little sister) plays his daughter, while Mira Sorvino plays Ruffalo's ex-wife. The way Joaquin's character deals with his grief, hunting down the driver and doing his own investigation, and the way Ruffalo's character struggles with turning himself in and relieving some of Joaquin's pain will determine how good the movie is. The most interesting aspect of the story isn't just its point of view, but how much the viewers will commiserate with Joaquin knowing that Ruffalo, the son-killer, gets to keep his own son. It's teetering on the lines of justice--should it be an eye for an eye?


3O Days of Night

Josh Hartnett + Ben Foster (3:10 to Yuma) + vampires + city with no sun light for an entire month = carnage. My favorite part of the trailer is when the girl screams "Oh god!" and the vampire says, "No God!" I giggle nervously and then look around the room to make sure no "thing" is in it. This would--I think--be the first horror comic brought to the big screen. I'm sure comic-geeks will lay down the verdict this weekend of whether or not it meets their expectations.


Gone Baby Gone

Ben Affleck hasn't exactly hit pay dirt since his Gigli flop with ex-fiance Jennifer Lopez, but he did get a lot of respect for his performance in Hollywoodland. So maybe the critics won't completely torch his directorial debut and second dip into the writer's field. Placing his little bro, Casey, in the leading man spot, he tells the story of two Boston cops and a street wise insider searching for a missing girl. It's an adaptation of Dennis Lehane's novel by the same name. I think the most interesting part of this formulaic kidnap-tragedy scenario is that two detectives (Ed Harris and Robert Wahlberg) are searching for her using the law and Casey is using the streets--which I think would be more effective. There's also an underlying conspiracy in the police bureau, which could add to the suspense. Morgan Freeman plays the voice of reason unsurprisingly. Meanwhile, Michelle Monaghan is Casey's supportive girlfriend (??). This would be her first notable drama. Both she and the Afflecks are going to have to step it up and take this genre into unchartered territory if they want to graduate from the B to the A list.

MUSIC: Wyclef Jean collabo with new artist Kevin Michael

Kevin Michael is an up and coming R&B/Soul/Funk singer straight out of Philly. I just heard his 2nd single featuring Wyclef Jean called "It Don't Make Any Difference to me." It focuses on how his mixed ethnicity has affected his life and how he refuses to let it get him down. The 22-year-old first came out on the scene with the song "We all want the same thing" featuring Lupe Fiasco, which is mostly about how despite differences everyone shares the desire for possessions and how "the root of all evil is what you have got." His general lyrical content involves griping about racism and the how that affects relationships--romantic or otherwise. Think of it as Black Eyed Peas before the fame. Test out his latest below:

MUSIC: Jay-Z's new single "Roc Boys"

"Roc Boys (and the winner is)" by Jay-Z
Here's another single off Jay's new album, inspired by Denzel Washington's new crime drama American Gangster. In it, he genuinely and jokingly thanks a number of people for adding to his success. He goes from thanking the "Boys in blue who put greed before the badge" to thanking "the pastor rapping at your eulogy" to thanking Lil Kim. It's all very well lyrically grafted. Enjoy:


Be sure to pick up his "last" album American Gangster November 6th.

TV: "Samantha, Who?" Review

Christina Applegate has been MIA from TV since her attempt at a 1998 sitcom, playing a single mom with a hot Spanish neighbor in Jesse. In fact, the last time she was successful on television was when she played Kelly Bundy on Married With Children. In an attempt to not go down in entertainment history as a sexy, brain dead, white trash character from the 90s, she has revived her TV career in this new sitcom that bears an uncanny resemblance to my favorite Goldie Hawn movie, Overboard. Hawn played a bitchy socialite who treats all her help like shit, including her contractor played by Kurt Russell. When she falls overboard--hence the name--from her yacht, he saves her and takes her to the hospital. She wakes up with amnesia, and since he's the only one there to claim her, he pretends she's his wife and turns her into his own personal maid slash baby sitter. Payback's a bitch.

In Applegate's loose translation of the film, her character Samantha is a victim of a hit and run. When she wakes up from an 8-day comma, she soon wishes that she hadn't. At her bedside are her parents, Howard (Kevin Dunn from Transformers), her backboneless father, and Regina (Jean Smart from 24), her negligent mother. The woman ordered her to redo her awakening so she can get it on tape for "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," because her house is due for a renovation. She sounds like mother of the year. It's no wonder Samantha has no idea who the woman is. The doctor soon informs her that she has retrograde amnesia. For some reason knowing this causes her mother to speak louder, as though she were informed her daughter was deaf.

Once Samantha is released from the hospital, she has the choice to either go home with her crazy parents or with her boyfriend, Todd (Barry Watson from "What About Brian?"). Oddly, he doesn't seem all that excited to see her or heartbroken that she'd forgotten him. Then we're introduced (and she's reintroduced) to her flashy, high-class bff, Andrea (Jennifer Esposito from "Related"), who--admitting that she didn't bother to visit her in the hospital because she was sooo busy--that Sam hadn't spoken to her parents in 2 years. You slowly start to get the idea that she's not exactly every parent's dream. In fact, when she yells to her mother, “You made me who I am,” Regina replies, “That is a terrible thing to say.”

This leads her to moving in with her estranged boyfriend, who is none to excited about sharing his apartment with her. However, she sees this as an opportunity to grill him for facts. And in Overboard-fashion, he tells her that she loves to cook for him and watch sports with him. Clearly she senses that he could be lying. At least the amnesia didn't take her sense of humor. It did, however, take her sense of provocativeness, since she tends to cover up when she's wearing a sexy dress and is suddenly appalled that she would have a married lover on the side. Again, you start to imagine that Samantha wasn't the nice person she woke up as. But that idea is officially solidified when a woman, in dire need of her coat, continuously interrupts the panic attack Samantha's directing towards Andrea in the coat check area and she snaps: “I know you’re in a hurry to get to work, but trust me, your street corner is still going to be there.”

There could still be hope for Samantha though. Even though Dena (Melissa McCarthy from "Gilmore Girls"), a childhood acquaintance, heard about her accident and decided to trick her into being her bff, Samantha didn't blow her off. In fact, she blew her lover off instead and came clean with her boyfriend. Unfortunately, that gave him the opportunity to break up with her...again. Apparently, he had done so right before her accident and he was dieing to get rid of her. Even his friends wanted her gone, noted by the voice mail message she overheard where they vowed to find the guy who ran her over and buy him a drink. Once he confessed, she had her first memory (which I sense will be a trend--one memory per episode) of when they met. Getting dumped leaves her with very few options with places to stay. Andrea is not an option. She's such a horrible friend that she didn't even tell her that she had been sober for 30 days, handing her drink after drink that night. Dena is still technically a stranger. But before Samantha resolves to move back in with her parents, she actually feels the need to ask her mom if she was the one who ran her over. Jean Smart is a joy to watch. She makes Kitty from That 70's Show seem sane. Accepting her into her home, she tells Samantha to go to her room: "You know where it is." Exasperated, Samantha says, “No, I don’t,” only to be met with the playful response, “Oh come on, just guess. It’ll be fun.” That's basically the premise of the sitcom: amnesia is fun.

In the middle of the show, Samantha says that there a few good things about having amnesia: all your clothes are technically new and there are no reruns since you have no idea that Ross is Rachel's lobster. So, what are the good things about this show? Every week should have an astonishing revelation about what kind of person Samantha used to be and maybe, if she's lucky, she'll be able to redeem herself enough to resnag her ex. Since it shares the time slot with "Rules of Engagement," "Heroes," and "K-Ville," it has some tough competition. It needs to go to a dead night like Tuesday or Friday or even Sunday, otherwise we'll forget about it completely.

TV: Last week on the tube...

Funny lines and interesting or annoying plot points of the week.

Desperate Housewives (Sunday, ABC 9:00pm)
It's ironic that we thought Carlos was having Edie offed--when he was just hiding his Cayman accounts--and it's the Senator, Gabrielle's husband, who threatens to have him offed if he slept with his wife.

Rules of Engagement (Mondays, CBS 9:30pm)
Favorite line: "So how are you going to get rid of her?" Audrey asks, referring to Russell's ditzy text buddy. "Oh I was actually still planning on sleeping with her," he replies skeazily. "That ought to do it," she counters.

Cavemen (Tuesdays, ABC 8pm)
This episode wasn't as funny as the first. The funniest subplot was actually Andy's, who sort of experienced what some minorities would if they were alone in a train car with a white person who--in racially profiling them--fled in fear. Although Nick was very annoying and unfunny in this episode (except for the spot-on Hitler imitation), he did sum it up pretty well, when he said “Eek help, it’s a sex crazed cave man.” What makes it funnier isn't just that he's a cavemen, but that this woman lives in his building and really can't get away from him. The most hilarious moment is when he pretends to be the police knocking on her door, then he shoves her against the wall, covers her mouth with one hand, and brings his cell phone to her ear with the other so his mom can explain to her that he's actually a really nice cave boy.

Back to You (Wednesdays, FOX 8pm)
Best line: Chuck and Kelly were battling for the best opening story of the broadcast, and Kelly was furious that Chuck is trying to steal her head anchor position, saying, "You were like a dingo in a maternity ward." Other than that, the episode wasn't all that fantabulous.

Pushing Daisies (Wednesdays, ABC 8pm)
Still love their dynamic. But the best part of this episode was when Kristin Chenoweth sang "Hopelessly devoted to you"--love that they brought Broadway to TV.

Bionic Woman (Wednesdays, NBC 9pm)
This episode was mainly forty minutes of Jamie complaining that she was on constant surveillance. As her boss Jonas cleverly pointed out: "50 million dollars--you didn't think we'd throw in a GPS?" Jamie actually had the nerve to say, "I'm going to call Hilary Clinton. She'll get to the bottom of this," because apparently Hilary isn't busy. The sub-story was an introduction into the real Sarah a.k.a. Crazy Bionic Woman. We learn that she rammed into Jamie's car the same way that a truck rammed into hers when she was speeding and her sister died. It was what drove Sarah crazy. Just when we thought that infamous bionic sound would not make an appearance in this updated version, we start to hear it everytime Jamie suspects Sarah or some type of danger is lurking around the corner. Although it's not as corny as expected, there are still pretty cheesy moments. Like when one of the characters said that Sarah would tear through a wall to get what she wanted and they actually showed her punching through a wall seconds later. Or when Isaiah Washington degraded himself by prefacing an assault towards Jamie with a pipe with the words, "That's right boys and girls, I'm about to get analog on your ass." And Jamie then responds with, "Bring it on bitch." What?

However, sometimes cheesy can be funny. For example, Sarah got some actual dialog in this episode. When she was begging Jamie to help her find a cure for her psychotic break (which she's convinced was triggered by the machines in her body), Jamie refused, concerned about her own welfare. So Sarah whines something to the affect of: "I'm going to go lay down on the sidewalk and die." Jamie replies with: "You don't have to be so dramatic." And then Sarah goes on a whole rant describing how dramatic her situation actually is, ending with: "Not that I can actually feel anything, but I can intellectually imagine that that feels pretty dramatic." That just proves that no matter how much machine there is in her, she's still a girl. As for the backstory, we learn that Will's father, Anthony, was imprisoned for treason. He tried to sell bionics to the highest bidder. And when Jae shot Sarah, Will was the one who revived her, and may have accidentally removed most of her humanity. All of which, adds up to the possibility that Sarah's claim that Nick was using Jamie could be true.

Private Practice (Wednesdays, ABC 9pm)
This episode was mostly about learning Pete's past, so that Addison can start to fall in love with him. Apparently, his wife died in her sleep and he hates himself for not saving her, but not as much as he hated her when she was alive. They had a horrible marriage, which means he's technically emotionally available. The best part of the show was when Will quietly declared his infatuation with Naomi by baking her cakes that she was replacing sex with. He wisely informed Cooper that the secret to women was to just figure out what they want and give it to them. Amen!

Gossip Girl (Wednesday, CW 9pm)
Seriously, they should just let Chuck do all the talking. When a grungy looking kid named Carter Baisey crashes his weekend-long frat party, he insults him by saying, "He looks like Matthew McConaughey between movies. The guy's a loser!" Out of context and without a snear that doesn't really seem like an insult, but it was...and a good one too, because it was a double-whammy that hit not only Carter, but Matthew. Poor guy. What's ironic is that this Carter kid was the one who initiated them into their debauchery. He gave them their first joint and snuck them into their first club, so obviously Chuck feels threatened. However, this episode was all about evil people showing their good side. So, not only does Chuck save Nate's ass from being straight robbed by Carter and his con artists, but Blair acts kindly towards Dan when he helps her with some of her mommy issues. It's like the freaking twilight zone. As for the juicy gossip, Nate's dad seems to be really really poor, since he drained his trust fund, which would explain why he won't let him break up with Blair, his cash-cow. And as for the show's gossip, my friend told me that there's a possibility that every season will have a new cast, because these kids are seniors. So the younger ones, Jenny and Eric, would head up the next season. That's pretty lame. I'm just getting used to these drama queens (Chuck included).

Life (Wednesday, NBC 10pm)
Here are a couple things we learned about Charlie:
1) He really loves cars. Sometimes they distract him from doing his job.
2) He still carries around a knife, like cons carry shivs, which is against bureau policy. Apparently, you're only alllowed to defend yourself with your issued weapon or MacGyver style--with anything lying around.
3) His wife remarried 3 years after the divorce and had 2 children. During the first time he sees her in 12 years, he prioritizes finding out where the little girl of the murdered family is over kissing her passionately. So there's a tiny chance he's not over her. And by the way she was kissing back, there's also a chance she's not over him.
4) He's still so affected by his stay in prison, that when his buddy Ted erected a metal fence around their estate to protect them from coyotes, he flinched and non-verbally got him to take it down.
5) He feels kindredly connected to coyotes. Ted says: "Do you know that Native Americans considered coyotes to be tricksters, scavengers thieves, shape shifters?" But Charlie asserts that they're really just survivors. At the end, he comes face to face with a coyote (while in his car) and the juxtaposition drives the obvious message that he is a survivor.
6) When Dani and his lawyer Constance meet, he nervously introduces them. He seems to have some unfinished romantic business with her.
Here are a couple things we learned about Dani:
1) She doesn't blink when a criminal/gangster gets in her face and tries to intimidate her.
2) She's really sarcastic. When she asked Charlie for his knife and he asked why, she responded: "Because I want to swear a blood oath with you and I need something to cut my pinkie."
3) She finally warmed to Charlie enough to lie for him. (However, Charlie kindly asked her not to.)
Here are a couple things we learned about the case:
1) According to his settlement, he can't talk to the retired black cop who adamantly believes he murdered those people.
2) The little girl who survived the massacre, changed her name and was adopted by a family, making her harder to find.

Dirty Sexy Money (Wednesdays, ABC 10pm)
They refer to Simon Elder (Blair Underwood), the supposed murderer of Nick's father, as the richest man in the world. Really? That's quite a declaration. The most interesting part of the show was learning that Juliet is a virigin. The whole Tripp might actually have murdered Nick's dad instead of Simon thing has gotten old already before it even started.

Big Shots (Thursday, ABC 10pm)
So the boys throw James a re-Bachelor party, so he can reacquaint himself with the dating game, which he hasn't participated in since the 80s. As one of the women points out: “The last time you were on a date there were no cell phones or the Internet.” Jesus Christ. His rules upon agreeing to this reinitiation is that they don't allow him to 1) get drunk 2) drunk-dial his ex-wife and 3) show family pictures. Way to prioritize. As usual, Brody is the funniest of the bunch. When Karl begs him to get rid of P.I. photos that would inform his wife of his affair, Brody tries to figure out a justification for Karl's behavior asking: “Seriously what did your mother do to you?” And in the bizarrely customary Karl manner he responds with: “It’s taken my mistress to make me realize how great my wife is.” Weirdo. During this episode, the guys continue to point out their concerns about women becoming more like men. James wonders when they got so aggressive and Dylan keeps up his penis-having-women campaign answering, "Women have had to compete with us for so long, they’ve had to become us.” The funniest part of James' fear of modern women was when one of them offered to have a quickie and pulled out a pack of condoms. He nearly crapped himself. But, as usual, Brody's mysterious (and still unseen) wife stole the crazy-lady title when he told Dylan that she made him carry a GPS-tracking cell phone so she can always know where he is...for his safety. Now if you interpret that statement a certain way, it almost sounds like a threat.

Friday Night Lights (Fridays, NBC 9pm)
Oh my god, Justin Timberlake got name-dropped in a show about Texas football. One of the college players that Eric manages got in trouble for accepting bribes in the form of tickets to his concert. And when they questioned his choice of singer, he passionately exclaimed, "Hey, hey, step off. That little white boy's got soul." Lol Tammy was all over the place this episode, suffering from exhaustion and post-partum depression (I think). So it was funny when the new school counselor, who is really underqualified, questioned her ability to handle single-motherhood. And she snapped back with: "This isn't my first barbecue." Only in Texas can you refer to motherhood as a barbecue. My favorite part of the episode, however, was when Landry finally told Tyra that he was in love with her. It wasn't sappy or pathetic, but unapologetic and brave. He was crumbling under the weight of their secret and she was telling him to be a man, so he declared, "Don't tell me to become a man, because if that's your definition of a man, then that's extremely sad." You go Landry!

Moonlight (Fridays, CBS 9pm)
Welcome to the world of unorthodox vampires. This week we learned that silver is poisonous towards vampires. I could've sworn that was werewolves. A steak to the heart paralyzes them, but still allows them to speak. They can see all the veins under your skin--the better to choose the fullest one (gag). If you sire a vampire (make one), you're supposed to guide them through the transition or they'll turn into rabid dogs who feed like crazy. And if you happen to get carried away and murder a couple people, there's someone called The Cleaner who'll get rid of the bodies for you, so you don't raise any red flags. Favorite line of the night: When Mick informs her that he gets his blood from the Red Cross, she responds with: "The Red Cross does not mention that in their literature."

I'm getting a little iffy with Dirty Sexy Money. I might drop it from my personal TV guide real soon.

TV: "Women's Murder Club" Review

Law & Order alum Angie Harmon gets her own murder mystery show with a very light dash of Grey's Anatomy romantic whimsy. She plays Lindsay Boxer, a cop who happens to have a lawyer friend, Jill (Laura Harris from Dead Like Me), a coroner friend, Claire (Paula Newsome from The Lyon's Den), and a reporter friend, Cindy (Aubrey Dollar from Point Pleasant). Pooling info from their individual investigations and using their connections, they're able to solve crimes quicker. This is an adaptation of a James Patterson novel. I have to admit, I missed the first 20 minutes of the show. So I don't have the entire gist of who these ladies are.

However, from what I saw, I can tell that Lindsay has commitment issues that led to her divorce from Tom (Rob Estes from "Suddenly Susan"), her new boss. If having him around all the time isn't enough of a hassle, she has to deal with the fact that he's getting remarried. I sense that she's not exactly over him. She refuses to call him Lieutenant, even though he's really adamant that she stop calling him Tom. Not that she's a man-hater, since her partner is Warren (Tyrees Allen from Alias), a lovable and understanding guy who has a completely platonic relationship with her. Jill is the one who can't seem to keep her pants zipped at work. Even though she has a doctor boyfriend she's moving in with, she sleeps with her seductive ex right on her desk in the middle of the day. Claire seems to be the saint, who has a wheel chair-bound husband and kids. Cindy is actually new to the "club." One of her many skills, besides being a young go-getter, is that she has photographic memory and a thirst for knowledge. Lindsay doesn't really trust reporters. Actually, the only one she trusted is the topic of the pilot. The woman was murdered by her lover's wife. She was actually using the guy to dig into his wife's money laundering scheme.

The case is supposed to shed some light on these women. The murderess actually started the scheme to benefit her cheating husband who needed money for his floundering restaurant. He was her third husband and she didn't want to let this one get away, because she really loved him. He, however, confessed that the only reason he cheated on her was because he felt neglected. She was actually more married to her work than him, just like the lead characters. Lindsay's ex divorced her because she was obsessed with an unsolved case, called "Kiss me not," about a serial killer who pops up again at the end, signaling it as something that will reoccur throughout the season. From what I can tell, the killer has a ritual of murdering women, laying them naked in a bath tub, and sewing their mouths shut. Because of Lindsay's obsession, Tom chooses to remarry a kindergarten teacher, who'll be less neglectful. After he tells her, she finally starts calling him Lieutenant. It's obvious that these ladies, are worried that their careers are getting in their way of living. But once they solve the case of the woman who would forfeit her career for love, they show her no sympathy or mercy. It's as if they're declaring that they will not apologize for putting their careers first, because love will only destroy you.

So, will I be watching the next episode. I'm in love with Friday Night Lights, so perhaps I'll record just one more to see how a whole 60 minutes looks.

FILM: Box Office Results - 10/15/07

Either Tyler Perry is officially good enough to name-drop or Janet Jackson has finally recovered from her nip-slip scandal. Even though barely any critics bothered to watch Why did I get Married?, it came out swinging at #1 with $21.5 mil. We Own the Night, the expected commercial big winner, not only bombed in the reviews for its uninspired story, but came in at #4 with $11 mil. And Cate Blanchett is kicking herself right now for tainting a perfectly good legacy, by doing the sequel Elizabeth: The Golden Age, which came in at #6 with $6.2 mil. The Village Voice dethroned her by calling it a: "Highbrow camp masquerading as a history lesson soapier than any bottle of detergent." At least George Clooney's thriller Michael Clayton made it to #3 with $11 mil accompanied by a standing ovation from critics. Entertainment Weekly summed it up best: "When critics complain about the dumbing down of movies into franchise popcorn, what we're really doing is yearning for a terrifically engrossing, tethered-to-the-real-world drama like Michael Clayton." As for the indies, Ryan Gosling didn't fail to impress the critics with Lars and the Real Girl, but with a 7-theater release only made $85,000. Sleuth, however, got robbed of its dignity with a mere $50,000 in a 9-theater release. The Heartbreak Kid is surprisingly still scrounging up a couple dollars dropping to the #5 spot with $26 mil. Good Luck Chuck, on the other hand, seems to be clocking out, already out of the top 10 with $32 mil.

Next week the race for the best Halloween-inspired film is started with Josh Hartnett's comeback 30 Days of Night. If you're more interested in something that'll tear at your heartstrings emotionally, instead of literally, then you have two choices: the dramatic thriller or the tragic drama. In one corner lies Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal's film Rendition, and Morgan Freeman and the Affleck brothers' film Gone Baby Gone. And in another corner we have Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro's film Things we lost in the Fire, and Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Ruffalo's film Reservation Road. Then there's the slew of indies that are all over the place. You've either got a lot to watch this weekend or absolutely nothing.

MUSIC: Maroon 5 @ Madison Square Garden

Wednesday night Maroon 5 hit NYC in a big way, performing at Madison Square Garden for the first time. Their opening acts were Sara Bareilles and The Hives. Bareilles was a surprising treat. I felt as though I'd heard her songs before, and it turns out ABC's "Men in Trees" have nabbed her "Love Song" for the commercial teasers, possibly sky-rocketing her career as it did KT Tunstall ("Suddenly I See") and Corrinne Bailey Rae's ("Put your records on") last season. She has an amazing voice, not to mention lyrics that speak of unchartered romantic territory. As for The Hives, even though Pelle Almqvist, the lead singer, was very confident that by the end of their performance we'd all be in love with them, I was a tad underwhelmed. I could barely hear what he was saying and most of the musical compositions sounded the same. But at least they go down in history as the first Swedish band to play at MSG.

Now on to the headliners. I was sort of gently bullied into going to this concert. I don't really like Maroon 5's new record, It won't be soon before long--and not just because of the title. However, when my friend gave me Songs about Jane in 2003, I fell in love with every song--which I don't do often. So I expected to daydream through all the crappy songs and leap out of my seat when a Songs about Jane track came on. Silly me. I've only been to two concerts in my life, for The Roots and Sugarcult. I'm not experienced enough to know that when a band goes on tour directly after they've released an album, they usually play favorites, since most people aren't used to the new songs. Lucky me. I, literally, sang every friggin song they played, especially: "Makes me wonder," "Sunday Morning," and "Secret" (below):

Plus, I learned a couple things about Adam Levine:

1) He can play the guitar. I'm used to seeing him strut on a stage.

2) He likes to kid around. A woman threw her bra on the stage and he publicly and verbally examined it to see if it was worn to the arena or purchased on the way there. He believes that only a true fan would take off the bra they're actually wearing. (She did.)

3) His favorite song off the new album is "Won't go home without you."

4) He dabbles in the drums.

5) He enjoys mixing the band's songs with oldies, like--if I'm not mistaken--the "Miami Vice" theme song.

Besides getting to know Levine, I was also very excited to have gotten the chance to witness a guest appearance by Kanye West, singing "Heard 'em say," and really entertained when Levine led two "vocal lessons" where he'd sing a note and then instruct the crowd to echo him. During the end of the 2nd vocal lesson, he sang so high and so fast that we couldn't follow him anymore and he just started laughing. It shows he's having fun, which oddly made me have even more fun.

I definitely recommend a Maroon 5 concert if they swing by your neighborhood. And if you're strapped for cash, buy a cheap seat, then crash one closer to the stage--like I did--for a supreme view.

TV: SNL Kevin Federline spoof

Just when I thought Kevin Federline couldn't be belittled any further, Andy Samberg makes him look even more like an idiot now that he has full custody of Britney's sons.

FILM: New to the Box Office - 10/12/07

We Own the Night
Joaquin Phoenix returns to the big screen after two years, an Oscar nomination, and a stint as the legendary Johnny Cash. In this crime drama, Phoenix plays a New York nightclub manager who happens to run just the kind of place that would facilitate criminal activity for the Russian mafia. Unfortunately, his brother (Mark Wahlberg) and father (Robert Duvall) are cops, who are eager to bring the kingpin down using him as the inside-man. Phoenix's father dotes on Wahlberg more than him, leaving the Russian mob boss to be more of his father figure. Thus, he's faced with a moral dilemma. To prove his loyalty and to save his family from an inevitable hit, he'll have to risk everything. I'll be shameless and admit that I'll watch anything that Wahlberg even cameos in. For the gentleman, Eva Mendes struts her stuff. But you must consider that this is the third film of James Gray, who's only worked on scripts that he's both written and directed, and who's last film, The Yards, had the same male leads as this one.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Cate Blanchett is taking a bit of a chance with reprising her role after 9 years, especially since Elizabeth was so well-reviewed the first time. With the help of Clive Owen as a seductive con artist, Samantha Morton (Minority Report) as Mary Queen of Scots, Geoffrey Rush (Pirates of Carribbean), and Abbie Cornish (A Good Year), she has quite the epic tale to tell of defending her throne against the Spanish King Phillip II. And from the trailer I can tell that she will be an inspiring heroine.

Michael Clayton
Screenwriter of the Bourne trilogy, Tony Gilroy, has his directorial debut with George Clooney at the helm. With the tagline: "The truth can be adjusted," the dramatic thriller promises to question the boundaries of morality in business. The title character is what capitalists refer to as "an in-house 'fixer'" for a corporate law firm. Even though he would prefer retiring from his immoral profession, he is knee deep in debt. Tilda Swinton (Chronicles of Narnia), a litigator, is depending on a multi-million dollar settlement of a class action suit that Clayton's firm is leading, and Tom Wilkinson (Batman Begins) is the guilt-ridden attorney who sabotages it. It's all up to Clayton to pick up the pieces.

Lars and the Real Girl
It's probably a jinx to say it, but Ryan Gosling can do no wrong. He won critics over in his portrayal of a drug-addicted teacher in Half Nelson and a desperate lawyer in Fracture. Now he's going into left field again in this indie dramedy about a poor schlub who has deluded himself into believing that a blow up doll is his girlfriend. I know what you're thinking. On paper, it sounds like crap. Funny crap, but crap nonetheless. But, honestly, if you watch Gosling's endearing portrayal of a naive, hopeless romantic who is so loved by his entire community--including his brother (Paul Schneider from The Family Stone), his sister-in-law (Emily Mortimer from Dear Frankie), and a cute girl (Kelli Garner from Man of the House)--that they would pretend that his blow up doll is real. I have a feeling that it will have you laughing while you're crying.

Why did I get married?
This isn't by any means like Chris Rock's I Think I Love my Wife. Tyler Perry cages Medea for a while to introduce us to the plight of the married couple from four different perspectives. The film is actually an adaptation of his stage play, which focuses on the trials of marriage during a couples retreat. Sharon Leal ("Boston Public") plays Perry's wife who is reluctant to have another child, because she'd rather be a career woman. Richard T. Jones ("Girlfriend") is a brave brave man who chose to bring his girlfriend, played by Denise Boutte ("Days of our lives") to the couples retreat. Meanwhile, his jilted wife, played by singer Jill Scott, is working hard to reconcile with him. Luckily Lamman Rucker ("Half & Half") will provide a nice little distraction for her. Michael Jai White ("The Clubhouse") practically plays the battered husband who has to deal with a wife, played by Tasha Smith (Daddy's Little Girl), who drinks too much and brags about being the breadwinner. Janet Jackson--hitting the big screen after 7 years--seems to be the only voice of reason, even though she's having trouble with her husband, Malik Yoba ("Girlfriends"), too. I'm confident that Perry will deliver yet another heartfelt and funny film about love.

Sleuth
Jude Law and Michael Caine help remake the 70s mystery thriller about two men who try to outsmart each other. Jude plays a man who's stolen the heart of Caine's wife. Instead of being a push-over, Caine decides to con Jude into staging a robbery--he'd get the insurance money and Jude could have the girl--but his real agenda is to kill Jude in "self defense" and solve all his problems at once. However, there's a chance that Jude has something up his sleeve as well. Which one will be the victor?

FILM: Seth Rogen & Judd Apatow

The New Yorker had a festival this weekend, giving readers access to book readings and one-on-one's with authors and actors. I jumped at the chance to see if Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow are naturally funny. Not to mention, the honor of seeing the great film critic David Denby.

First off, I'd like to say that as an entertainment journalist I often test my ability to be inches away from a celebrity and not go into cardiac arrest. I've managed to spot Ru Paul (LOL), Kristen Johnston from "3rd Rock from the Sun" (smiled kindly), Joan Allen from Bourne Ultimatum (at the airport), Sarah Michelle Gellar (on my b-day...yay Buffy), Griffin Frazen from "Grounded for Life" (did a double take since he was in an NYU building...facebook him), and Sam Rockwell from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (also in an NYU building chatting up some lucky bastard...didn't want to go back to class). And I think I may have imagined seeing Heroes' star Milo Ventimiglia, but that didn't stop me from spazzing out and being pissed that my cell phone died earlier that day.

Nonetheless, I really needed to use the restroom when I got to the event and as I was rushing towards the door, there was Seth Rogen being interviewed by a news crew. He's much skinnier in person, but that laugh is undeniably genuine. I did not spot Judd Apatow, but after the event I really wanted to. He is not only hilarious, but he sounds surprisingly like Paul Rudd--same comic timing and speech rhythm.

Despite Judd's very kind demeanor, he has many stories of spontaneous and retrospectively funny moments of muted rage. My favorite Judd line was given when Mr. Denby asked him if the same network executive canceled both "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared." Judd then admitted that the day before they canceled "Undeclared," the New York Times had printed the top 10 best shows of that season and his show was on it. So he framed the list and mailed it to the executive with a post-it saying, "I don't understand how you can fuck me in the ass if you still have your penis in me from the last time." I'm pretty sure I've heard that quote before, but the fact that he said it to a network exec--who probably hates himself right now--makes it even funnier. Judd also spoke of his idol Steve Martin. He once drove to Martin's house and asked him for an autograph while he was cleaning his car. Even though Martin kindly rejected him Judd still wrote him an angry letter that told him he was shitty to his fans. And Steve sarcastically wrote back saying: "Sorry, I didn't realize I was taking to THE Judd Apatow." I, personally, would have shit myself. (Briefly listen to Judd's journey towards stand up.) He also admires Catherine Keener, who played the love interest in 40 Year Old Virgin. He believes she's a reputable actress and he was terrified she wouldn't find the script very funny, so he worked extra hard to make her part amazing. Rogen revealed that Steve Carell was not really into the raunchiness of the script, and made him rewrite a PG-13 version of it to see if it was still funny. Seth proved that a PG-13 version would've sucked ass.

Judd and Rogen also told behind-the-scenes stories about Knocked Up and Superbad. Everybody knows that Judd's wife Leslie Mann, who played Paul Rudd's wife in Knocked Up, was the inspiration for the female portion of the film. She really did kick him out of the car on the way to the gyno. She also inspired a really heartfelt moment that happened after her character discovers her husband is cheating on her with fantasy baseball. Judd believes that his wife is an overly emotive actress and he's a geeky Jew, so it was necessary that she inform him--just like her character does to Paul in the movie--that: "You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean."

One of the clips shown was a controversial and ultimately deleted abortion discussion that was hilarious. Jonah Hill was explaining to Jay Baruchel that sperm isn't alive and that it's not like after he jacks off, he tries to blow life back into his gym sock. Now imagine Jonah doing CPR to sperm, pumping the chest with one finger. Also, Rogen explained that--in case you didn't notice--his friends in the movie have their real names because they're playing themselves. As for Katherine Heigl, Rogen admitted to being initially terrified of her, because she was statuesque and "she killed 7 terrorists in Under Siege 2." They weren't expecting her to be funny on cue, but she did come up with: "Don't talk to me in that voice," completely confusing Rogen mid-scene and making Judd not envy her boyfriend. When they wrapped up discussing that film, Judd explained that its real purpose was to illustrate how a new father suddenly realizes that his friendships don't work anymore and that he's all alone. Hmmm.

During the production phase of Superbad, one studio referred to it as "fundamentally unmakeable." When casting, Jonah was their ultimate choice because everyone else just wasn't funny enough. When Cera was mentioned, Evan Goldberg, Rogen's bff, said he refused to watch "Arrested Development" because of him. Seth now admits that Evan is stupid. Originally Cera's character was supposed to be the straight-man, but his verbal rhythm turns almost everything into a joke. Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who plays Fogel, was found after an ad was put out in high schools for a kid to play a "loser who thinks he's cool." Christopher's friends immediately told him "That's you man!" That was mean, but he got the part.

Towards the end of the event, they allowed audience members to ask questions. A professor wanted to know if Jonah's character was actually in love with Cera's, but since Jonah plays a kid named Seth, it sounded like the man asked Rogen if he was gay. And Rogen pretended to be shocked for a second then responded with: "Everybody's a little gay after a few beers." Critics were saying that even though these boys were trying to sleep with girls, in the end they slept with each other. A college student came up after the professor and he kind of looked like a shorter, pudgier version of Rogen, so naturally he said, "Yes, me?" and everyone laughed.

Interesting fact about Rogen: He wants to write scifi next.
Helpful advice from Judd to aspiring comedy writers: Start from a real emotional experience, then make it funny.