FILM: New to the Box Office - 11/30/07

AWAKE

Hayden Christensen plays a rich guy who finally gets called in for a heart transplant after he marries his girlfriend (Jessica Alba). Although it seems like all of his dreams are coming true at once, it's when he's put to sleep for the surgery that the nightmare begins. He was given the wrong amount of anesthesia, which means he can hear everything AND feel everything--including the part where they slice open his chest and remove his heart. If that's not terrifying enough, the doctors (Terrence Howard and Fisher Stevens) have a get rich quick scheme. They told him to "put his house in order" in case he dies on the operating table. So for some reason if he dies, they get rich. Naturally, they plan to inject his heart with a substance that'll kill him within the hour. Christensen has to figure out a way to communicate with his wife before it's too late. Considering that this film is Joby Harold's first time directing and screen writing, there's not much to be expected of it. But it sounds like a very interesting thriller, one that could gain some traction at the box office, but probably not enough to kick any Christmas films out of the way.


THE SAVAGES

Critics are raving about Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney's new film where they play siblings who must cope with their father's dementia. It's the realistic side of family during the Christmas season brought to you by Tamara Jenkins, writer and director of Slums of Beverly Hills. I actually think the New York Post's Lou Lumenick says it best, "Darkly hilarious...[it] captures the cruel demographic joke facing many boomers who are forced to take care of aging parents at a point when they haven't entirely figured out their own lives." It's said to be a dramedy, so if you're in for a laugh and a cry, find an indie theater near you.

FILM: Colin Farrell's Comeback

You remember that surly Irish lad named Colin Farrell who drank and smoked like he had a death wish and practically owned his own profanity bleep machine? I believe the last time anyone praised Farrell as an actor--and not as a persistent St. Patrick's Day cliche--was when he did Minority Report and Phone Booth in 2002. In just 5 years, his career went down the crapper. First, he played that foolish incarnation of Bullseye in Daredevil, then he performed in that stinker Alexander, and ultimately topped it all off by going down in flames in the over-hyped Miami Vice. So naturally, he would have to do a film that would remodel his acting career. That's right, Farrell's going to try to be funny.

Granted his first film after Miami Vice will be the thriller Cassandra's Dream, directed by Woody Allen. But the turning point in his career, I predict, will be when critics and indie lovers check out the UK produced film In Bruges. It's about two hitmen (Farrell and Brendan Gleeson from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) who have to lay low in a crappy town filled with quirky locals after they botch a job. Their boss (Ralph Fiennes) angrily joins them after they ignore his orders to stay in the hotel room for two weeks straight. Clearly, because they're out of their element and in one so unnerving, mayhem and slapstick ensues. Honestly, I've never been so amused by Farrell in all of his career (except maybe when I saw that bullseye on his forehead). The film has a Snatch vibe which has me sold on it already. Check out the trailer so you can catch it when it comes out February 8th:

MUSIC: Chris Brown's "With You" video

Chris Brown's new video, directed by Erik White, stands out as one of the best that Brown's done. The song "With You" is really touching and everything, but the slick dancing on the street, the seamless color changes of his sweater, and the trapped-in-time traffic scene is pretty impressive for just a ballad. Check it out for yourself:

FILM: Upcoming comicbook movies

I was really hoping that Timothy Olyphant's Hitman was going to be killer. Alas, I'm having Jason Bourne withdrawals. But if this comic faltered, what are the chances that the next few adaptations will do any better? Here are few that'll hit the screen within the year:

Wanted (March 28)

Trained assassins + Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy = some damn good action.

Iron Man (May 2)

Authentic costumes, the hilarious Robert Downey Jr., and the ridiculously chill-inducing phrase "I. Am. Iron Man."

Speed Racer (May 9)

The Wachowski brothers got Emile Hirsch to sell his indie soul, and they were equally persuasive towards Christina Ricci, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox, and Scott Porter ("Friday Nights Lights"). This film will surely make Fast and the Furious look like a $.99 crap heap.

Incredible Hulk (June 13)

Taking another whack at a failed franchise is risky. Getting Louis Leterrier, the director of Transporter 2 and Unleashed, and Edward Norton, as co-writer with Zak Penn (screenwriter of X-men 2, X-men 3, and Elektra) will make for an interesting press junket.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11)
There's a war between the mythical world and ours and Hellboy's gotta round up his freak show to save the world.


Here are a few interesting comics that'll be adapted in the future:

Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins (June 2009)
Who'd ever thought that someday John Connor would be Batman. That's right, Christian Bale will be playing the older version of John in this 4th installment of the franchise. I don't even know how to feel about that. I think maybe actors should get just one franchise every 20 years...and I don't know, stick to ones that don't suck. McG ("Chuck" and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle) may be directing, but the same writers from T3 are writing and that doesn't bode well for Bale's career.

G.I. Joe (August 2009)
Sienna Miller signed on to play the film's female lead, a baroness and femme fatale skilled in espionage. Watching Miller play a bad ass should be an interesting change of pace, especially since Stephen Sommers (Mummy Returns and Van Helsing) will be directing.

The Surrogates (2010)
Bruce Willis plays a cop who's investigating a series of murders. The twist is that humans in this period of time live vicariously through surrogate robots--you know, kind of like we do now on the Internet--and never go outside. So technically he's investigating the murders of surrogates, which I hope is a warning that the real people will be murdered soon and he has to leave his isolation to save them. Directing is Jonathan Mostow (Terminator 3), so at least the robots will look cool.

FILM: Box Office Results - 11/26/07

Enchanted gobbled up the 5-day weekend box office, conjuring a $50 mil gross. Those who didn't partake in this magical fairytale treated themselves to a side of Chris Brown in This Christmas, placing it at #2 with $27 mil. Apparently families weren't too keen on watching any bloodshed with a dash of nudity, putting Hitman at #4 with a slightly disappointing $21 mil take. (Trust me you didn't miss anything.) Family movies were really kicking ass (pardon my French), since August Rush made it to #7 with $13.3 mil beating out Stephen King's horror film The Mist, which debuted at #9 with $13 mil.

Beowulf may have gotten great reviews, but the Christmas season is here and it's time for joy and cheer (that was an intentional rhyme). So it'll have to settle for the #3 spot, grossing up to $56 mil so far. Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, however, hasn't won over the kids just yet. It dropped out of the top 10 with $23 mil. I think it's a conspiracy. I mean, if parents take their kids to see this movie, then they'll get all these ideas about what they want for Christmas and I can assure you that list will not end. As for the romance Love in the time of Cholera, although it's dropped off the charts, it has accumulated $3.5 mil, which is good for an indie release. Meanwhile, Southland Tales is getting creamed at the box office, yet heralded by major critics. Who knows? Maybe Richard Kelly is one of those directors who can only be considered a genius once he's dead or after a very long period of time (i.e. Donny Darko).

Next week is pretty bare. I'd suggest revisiting last week's box office releases or settling for Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen's dramatic and terrifying thriller Awake or Phillip Seymour Hoffman's indie The Savages.

TV: Last week on the tube...

Funny lines and interesting or annoying plot points of the week:

Bones
It seemed like Zack was acting out of character when he called himself "King of the Lab." But Sweets was acting the most bizarre, making viewers think he could be serial killer Gormogon with his creepy staring. Especially when he was alone with Hodgins--some viewers thought he was trying to make him his apprentice. Even though the crimes in this show are interesting, the best part is always the witty repartee and playful banter. However, sometimes they lose me. Booth says he knows Latin because he was an altar boy. I was an altar girl like 2 years ago and I definitely didn't learn that. My favorite line is when Zack explains how quickly they have to disarm a box and Cam says, "Exactly how far back should I be standing?" This is how much trepidation I feel towards everything they do. Even though there was a car explosion with a teeth bomb, my favorite part is when Temperance kisses Booth on the cheek and he looks like he's trying really hard not to react. Can't wait for this week's mistletoe kiss.

Heroes
It was very interesting to learn that Elle was turned into what she is by her father.

Rules of Engagement
Usually Russell is the funny one, but in this episode the best line was spouted by Adam. His mom was preaching about global warming and she says, "Who's going to help the polar bear?" And he responds, "Not the black bear. They're all like 'Take that whitey.'" Crass, but funny.

Samantha, who?
I swear these ladies are hilarious. Andrea was jealous of Sam because she has a food allergy, believing it to be the equivalent of an easy diet. Her mom admitted to putting Sam's trampoline under a beehive when she was little in order to prevent her from jumping too high. And if that's not wicked enough, when Sam goes to a psychic and manifests a memory of being adopted, her mom says, "You let people fill your head with ideas, like when the guidance counselor told you you were gifted." So wrong. My favorite line, however, was when Sam described why she was afraid of riding in elevators before she kicked the habit, "It's like riding in a coffin falling down a mine shaft." It's a good thing I live 20 floors up.

Chuck
I'm glad Chuck neatly wrapped up his relationship with Lou (even though that means Rachel Bilson is out) and that Sarah finally admitted her feelings in an impassioned kiss inspired by a near death experience. It was also priceless when Sarah frazzled the Indian kid by straddling him on the fast food counter and when Morgan jumped Anna in the media room. But the best part of this episode was when Casey verbally noted Sarah's pattern of falling for the guys she works with and firmly rejected her in case she had any ideas about them hooking up. Hilarious. Now all we have to do is get Casey to off that cock-blocking buzz kill Bryce...again.

Aliens in America
The whole bit where the dad adopted a new family that needed him more than his own was almost as hilarious as Raj busting a move in a mascot costume. But the funniest part was actually when there was a flashback to when Justin asks his dad about sex, saying: "How many times is too many times to masturbate? Do they make a special bandage for down there?" Very good questions I have to say.

Two and a half Men
Seriously, funniest line of their season: Charlie defends why he slept with Allen's secretary, crossing a barrier, saying "If you paid her a decent salary, she wouldn't have to hook."

Private Practice
This episode was baby-baby-baby. It had Addison so batty she nicknamed a baby she found Batgirl, and then Naomi comically confirmed that she shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I second that motion.

Grey's Anatomy
I knew from the moment I saw the cute Spanish medic that he was going to be a main character in this episode. I could not stop crying when he said his last comforting words to his bff and when his wife said her last goodbyes. Seth Green guest-starred with the most disgusting ailment and a charming attempt at trying to bed Lexie. And Miranda comes face to face with what seemed to be her first racist--some jackass with a huge Swastika on his stomach. So she officially deemed that no one was allowed to call her the Nazi anymore. (That had to be a forums request that the writers were listening to.) Even though Derek flirted some more with nurse-lady, Alex got caught between Lexie and Ava, George seems to be sleep-walking his way through life, and McSteamy is still trying his best at hooking Erica, the termination of the Nazi-nickname was honestly the only interesting part of this cliff hanger episode. It probably would've been more interesting if Christina was hurt in the ambulance accident and Izzie had to save her since she's so jealous of her relationship with Meredith and she feels the need to prove herself to Christina all the time.

K-Ville
This week we learn that some people who receive FEMA aid use it for plastic surgery--and it's known as FEMA-plasty--and babies lost in the storm were adopted even though their parents might still be looking for them. A guy is reunited with his daughter and the most beautiful part of the last scene was when the little girl asks, "Why aren't you in heaven?" and her dad said, "God sent me back for you." When he starts crying, she says, "You're still wet from the [Katrina] rain." And that's pretty much the time I broke down and cried.

Pushing Daisies
Usually these characters beat around the bush when it comes to sex (no pun intended), so I was excited to learn whether or not Ned had had girlfriends before. And apparently so was Emerson, who said, "I must admit I am curious. Hell, before dead girl came along I didn't know what you liked or if you liked and if you had anything to like with. For all I know you could've been one of those people who was born with both, but didn't use either." Very well put. It seems Charlotte's been hanging out with Emerson a little too much. She kept sounding like a black girl throughout the episode saying things like, "Don't make me cut a bitch," "Oh no they didn't, " and "Sumptin stuck in dair." Meanwhile, Ned somehow managed to get weirder, saying "You know how when you're a guest and you're bored, and you go into the bathroom and read through the magazines and rummage through medicine cabinet and look in the closets and look under the bed and you find something you were never meant to see?" Yeah, no.

Dirty Sexy Money
Jeremy was the most interesting part of this episode. He was trying to bag a hot Spanish girl. When he tried to get advice from his chauffeur on how to be poor--that's right, poor--so he could win her with his charm and personality instead of his bank account, good old Jeremy showed that he seriously has no tact. Favorite line from his whole "you're the spokesperson for poverty" schpiel was: "I don't know what's going on with the whole silent movie mustache, but it seems pretty poverty related."

Ugly Betty
The exchanges between Mark and Wilhelmina are always quite entertaining. But it's especially entertaining when Mark praises her for her malevolence in a way that people who hate her can enjoy. Wilhelmina plans to get start-up money for her new magazine and at the mention of her father Mark laughs. "What's that smirk for?" she says. "It's just that you have a father. I've always imagined you rising out of a cauldron or born of a jackal," he squealed. Exactly what I was thinking.

MUSIC: Amerie, Chingy, Nelly Comebacks

Rapper Chingy is returning with a 4th album Hate it or Love It and he has Amerie singing the chorus on his first single "Fly like me." Amerie hasn't quite made it in her pursuits to be as famous as Beyonce or even Rihanna. Appearing on this track is sort of like pre-press for her next album, Because I love it, debuting later this year. Give a listen to their new track and see if they were right to make a comeback or if they're best to be forgotten:


Nelly's taking the Amerie-route to getting back on the wagon, appearing on a remix of Chris Brown's already top-charted track "Kiss Kiss." His new album, Brass Knuckles, comes out Dec. 11th. Although he's released 4 tracks from the album, none of them have become radio hits. Hopefully the collaborations he has with Akon and T.I. will help him out in the future. Until then, check out his contribution:

TV: Top 20 TV Scene Stealers of Fall 2007

Most TV shows have a main character that writers pray you fall in love with and some even have ensemble casts that they hope you bond with, but every now and then there's one character who outshines the rest in almost every episode. They would be known as the scene stealer. This guy or gal gets the biggest laugh, makes the biggest impression, and/or is the most relatable of the cast. Click below to check out my favorites from this Fall 2007 season:

Top 20 Scene Stealers of Fall 2007

*Forgive me if I left out any from your favorite shows that I don't happen to watch.

Check out the Funny Girls of Hollywood.

FILM: Natalie Portman vs. Scarlett Johansson

I just watched the trailer to The Other Boleyn Girl. It's a literary adaptation about a young woman (Natalie Portman) whose parents push her to seduce King Henry VIII (Eric Bana from The Hulk) because he's desperate for an heir. Unfortunately, he falls for her sister (Scarlett Johansson) instead. Being the manipulative young woman that she is, she eventually gets her way, gains the throne and a place by his side. In the middle of all this, she's battled her sister furiously for the throne and it's as astonishing to the viewer as it is to Scarlett's character that a sister would do such a thing to her own flesh and blood. So when Scarlett says desperately seeking an explanation, "We're sisters," it's chilling to hear Natalie's reply: "And therefore born to be rivals." I'm scareda you. The twist of course is that Natalie's character is infertile, so she needs her sister to plead for mercy before the king beheads her for her betrayal. It almost makes me want to read the book. Almost. But honestly the most impressive part of this entire film is watching Natalie Portman portray the bitchiest character she's ever embodied. Check it out February 29, 2008:

MUSIC: Alicia Keys, Chris Brown, BSB, Celine Dion Album Reviews

New albums have dropped in the last few weeks and I'm just catching up to giving them a listen. Try out my making-Thanksgiving-dinner playlist while you baste that turkey.

Alicia Keys' new album As I Am dropped Nov. 13. I'd recommend downloading these three tracks, along with "No one":
"Go Ahead"

I love it when female artists make their I-hate-men tracks. It seems like one of the topics that they express the most genuine emotions for. Maybe everyone can't vouch to being in love, but you don't have to have had a relationship in order to get pissed off at a guy. This is Keys' female empowerment track that could possibly lead to chanting at concerts.

"I need you"

One of Keys' many talents is her ability to convey rapture. Any song where she professes her love and her devotion gets under your skin and her spirit possesses you. The vocals on this track, filled with such desperation, are reminiscent of Lauren Hill--back when she was sane.

"Tell you something"

This is the second song on her album about regret that I've heard--the first being "Like you'll never see me again." She's talked in many interviews about a personal issue that she had to overcome in the last year that influenced her music. Apparently, it's given her a new outlook on life about not hesitating to express her emotions. In fact in Complex, she said she's a whole lot more open these days, when in the past she's been very guarded even in her music, and it shows. This track is more vocals and less big production--20 instruments that drown out her emotion. It's very back to basics and it works.

Chris Brown's album, Exclusive, was slated to be released late August but was pushed back twice until it dropped Nov. 6th. And there's good reason for that. As Brown's sophomore album, he had a lot of pressure to deliver yet another crowd pleaser. It seems he didn't have much confidence in himself, since he collaborates with another artist on 5 tracks. Even when talking about the concept of the album on TRL, it came off as rather random: girls. Hopefully he'll soon learn that an album should derive from inspiration and not obligation. Aside from "Wall to Wall" and "Kiss Kiss," this is the only other track worth downloading:

"Picture Perfect" by Chris Brown feat. Will.i.am

The production kind of reminds me of Omarion's tracks and I love the part where he starts to sing like John Legend. This is a perfect club hit for girls. As for the other tracks, the guest rappers, like Kanye West ("Down"), Big Boi ("Hold up"), Lil Wayne ("Gimme watcha got"), and The Game ("Nice") don't elevate the quality of the album. He had the most chemistry with T-Pain ("Kiss Kiss") and Will.i.am. It seems Brown does best when he's on his own, kind of like Beyonce.

The Backstreet Boys have returned minus one member, Kevin Richardson. Their new album Unbreakable debuted Oct. 30th. Since I was such a huge fan as a kid and I still know all the words to every single they released, I figured I'd see if they still had a spell over me. It turns out my taste has matured--not by much--and this is the only track I'd recommend:

"Panic"

This is a different sound for BSB, mainly because the last time they were big it was the late 90s. With an updated pop sound, they could almost pass for good. For a track that's more old school BSB try "You can let go."

Celine Dion's American claim to fame was her soundtrack contribution to Titanic. She can belt it out with the best of them almost effortlessly. Trying to keep it fresh after 7 albums and 17 years lead to trying out a couple of genres on this latest album, Taking Chances, which was released on Nov. 13th. My favorite track is:

"Eyes on me"

She somehow pulls off this Indian-style music. Although most of her album is tolerable and she breezes through several genres from rock to country, she should stick to genres that allow her to belt it out like she's meant to.

FILM: New to the Box Office - 11/21/07

Hitman

Hanging with the family during the holidays can take a lot out of you. Sometimes you just want to veg out in front of the tube. But that's hard to do when all of your relatives are around the tube. So go out and enjoy an action-packed film with explosions and shooting so loud you can drown out your annoying cousin's voice. This film is about an assassin, Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant from Live Free or Die Hard), who was raised by a brotherhood known as the Agency. They trained him so that he could rid the world of evil. When he's suddenly thrust into a political conspiracy, he's forced to dodge Interpol and the Russian military, while maintaining a suave and debonair attitude with his two guns a la The Killer. It brings new meaning (or actually the same meaning) to no-brainer.

Enchanted

Amy Adams is the sole reason why you should go watch this cutesy romantic comedy with a fairytale animated twist. Her portrayal of a hyper, young mother obsessed with the unenthusiastic father of her child in Junebug was hilarious. She carried the whole droopy indie on her shoulders, and will probably be the brightest star in this film as well. The movie's style is very similar to Stardust, which didn't do very well in U.S. theaters. However, this film not only has a princess, Patrick Dempsey as a modern prince, Susan Sarandon as a campy wicked witch, an animated squirrel, and singing, but an interesting plot too. Basically, Queen Narissa (Sarandon) plunges Giselle (Adams) into modern day NYC, and while she tries to find her way back she learns the truth about love and whether or not the storybook version can survive in the real world. And while Dempsey tries to wrap his head around the idea of fantastical love, Prince Charming/Edward (James Marsden from Hairspray) is running all over NYC in tights trying to find his princess. They have a deadline to return to their fantasy world before something...really bad happens. I saw a dragon, so I'm thinking it's pretty bad. It's literally fun for the whole family--well at least the girls of the family.


The Mist

Two words: Stephen King. It's never pleasant when one of King's novels is adapted to film. It's actually rather terrifying. A mist engulfs a town and within it are creatures that have entered through an inter-dimensional rift. Let the heart-thumping begin. Thomas Jane (The Punisher) is in the lead if that entices you further.


This Christmas

What better way to defuse the awkwardness during Thanksgiving family gatherings than to watch a movie about an African American family that hasn't reunited in years and has too many underlying problems to ignore over some spiked eggnog. Columbus Short (Stomp the Yard) is not only AWOL from the army, but hiding his marriage to a white woman from his family. Regina King (Miss Congeniality) is dealing with what seems to be a bossy husband and Chris Brown is trying to tell his mom that he wants to be a singer. Since it's Brown's official film debut it should guarantee it at least 2 mil--as long as parents let their whiny daughters out of the house.


August Rush

An Irish guitarist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers from "The Tudors") and an American cellist (Keri Russell from "Felicity") have one amazing night together above Washington Square Park. Unfortunately, when she gets pregnant, her father makes her give up her child. August Rush (Freddie Highmore from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) grows up with the desire to find his parents, so he runs away from his orphanage and befriends a street performer (Robin Williams). Meanwhile, Meyers searches for her and Russell searches for August with the help of a social worker (Terrence Howard) who's happened to have crossed his path. August is so musically talented that he sort of senses his parents through their music and hopes to lure them to him with his. It's a magical story that illustrates the power that music has over those who appreciate it.

MUSIC: American Music Awards' performances

There were a few surprising performances at the American Music Awards last night--and I'm not just talking about the Sugarland and Beyonce duet of "Irreplaceable." Chris Brown's robot break dancing was cool, but I was more shocked by Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas' performance of a track off his new album, Songs about Girls. I wasn't a fan of any of the tracks until I watched him perform "Heartbreaker." The song is really catchy, watch for yourself below:

Alicia Keys chose to mix it up, melding her "No One" single with surprise appearances from a few Reggae and Dancehall masters, Beanie Man ("Girls Dem Sugar"), Junior Reid (“One Blood"), and Chakademus and the Pliers ("Murder She Wrote"). Sean Kingston and Akon were loving it so much, they jumped up to dance in front of their seats. Watch below:


Mary J. Blige also got a standing ovation when she sang her new single "Just Fine." There were no tricks or gimmicks. Just Mary singing her heart out. Suddenly I realized that she was rocking the Rihanna haircut that has become as famous as The Rachel that Jennifer Anniston had in Friends. But I guess Rihanna didn't mind since she was dancing and singing along to Mary's song. Will.i.am also sang along while sitting next to Fergie, and Nicole Scherzinger gave her a standing-O. And even though American Idol contestants Carrie Underwood and Daughtry were the biggest winners of the night, the Jonas Brothers were the ones who got mauled by preteens who jumped on the stage seconds after their performance was over. I guess they weren't at all stunted by the glass on the stage floor that made Joe Jonas trip and slide down the short ramp.

Rihanna and Neyo's duet was perfectly executed, but I was too busy staring at her beautiful golden flapper dress the whole time:


On other fashion news, Maroon 5's main main Adam Levine sported a shaved head and Ashanti's yellow dress was one of the best of the night.

In spite of the writer's strike, Jimmy Kimmel held his own, making up stuff on the fly. He actually got Kellie Pickler and Jordin Sparks to come up on stage and dance the Superman with him aided by Soulja Boy himself.

TV: Last week on the tube...

Samantha who?
Poor Sammy learns that "We got the beat" makes her cry, as I'm sure it made many people do in the 80s. She couldn't figure out why so her friend Andrea hilariously says, "I know you. You get something in your teeth and you shake it till it's dead." Something tells me that one isn't normal. Although sometimes she does make sense, like when she tried to make Sam stop stalking some guy, who continuously ran away from her screaming, by saying, "It's called a restraining order, not a restraining tip or restraining advice." One of the funniest lines in this episode was actually kind of meta, making fun of itself when the restraining order guy said: "Amnesia doesn't exist. It's just a cheap and lazy story telling device." But a funny one, nonetheless.

Chuck
Ah, the lovely Summer Roberts, I mean Rachel Bilson, was introduced in this episdoe as Chuck's new love interest to Sarah's misfortune. I think Morgan summed up her beauty quite nice, saying, "Her hair looks so much like licorice. I want to chew on her until I make myself sick." He's the kind of man-boy that restraining orders were designed for. No worries though. Summer can handle herself. When she came to thank Chuck with a sandwich from her shop that she named after him, she was unfortunately slapped in the face with the presence of his "girlfriend" Sarah. She practically gouged out his eyes when she recommended he refigerate the sandwich, because "It be a shame for the Chuck to make you sick." She didn't seem that short after that line, considering that there's probably a foot between them. My favorite part of the episode is when you get the feeling he's going to kiss Sarah, but instead he breaks up with her. Ooooh BURN!

Reaper
Way to reference pop culture Satan. He encourages Sam to "go all Barry Bonds" on his ass. But apparently, Sam fights like a girl, which we learn when he slap-fights Andi's boyfriend. Best line of the night is when Sam says, "I don't care if it's a box full of world peace, it's still going to come back to bite me in the ass." That should be on a bumper sticker.

Gossip Girl
In this episode, we learn that even Satan believes in God, since Blair goes to church to be absolved of her sin of sleeping with Chuck. We already knew he doesn't take no for answer, so it was no surprise when Chuck practically swore he'd bed her again. Of course the lame ass voice over spouted some corny line: "Hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned." Seriously? Nonetheless, Chuck is still the most entertaining of all the youngins on this show. When he's forced to ask Nate "What's on your mind?" and he responds "My mom," Chuck still feels the need to quip: "Sounds Froydian." Never takes a break, that one. However, every now and then Chuck takes a homosexual turn, saying things like there are only three things that matter to him in the world: "money, the pleasures money brings me, and you." Any day now Chuck is going to jump Nate's bones. If it weren't for his current obsession with Blair, I'd wonder. His exchange with her on the balcony was priceless. Forget that she told him to murder the butterflies in his stomach, he had the audacity to say that "No one is more surprised or ashamed than I am." What a way to sweep a girl off her feet. They were treating his new affections like it was herpes. What are we going to do about this? How will we get rid of it?

Big Bang Theory
I love that a girl who was just doing a guest spot stole both Koothrappali and Sheldon's thunder in this episode. When Sheldon was telling a tale about a beautiful Indian princess, she asks "Us Indian or come to our casino Indian?" Wow! Is that how you differentiate?

Rules of Engagement
Russell's idea of falling in love: "It was like my heart had an erection." Prince friggin Charming.

Cavemen
Andy proves that even cavemen can get a little attached to video games. And Nick expresses how annoying that is for everyone else when he says, "Nothing's more relaxing than the sound of incessant gun fire."

30 rock
Edie Falco guest starred in a hilarious turn as Jack's forbidden lover. Except, it's not like she's ridiculously attractive, as was noted by Jack when he said "I thought you made love like an ugly girl...so present...so grateful." Tracy had the second best line when he tried to commiserate with Jack, saying "I've been there. I'm black, she's white; I'm black, she's light skinned black; I'm black, she's 17." So many problems with that line.

Ugly Betty
They actually had Wilhemina's exclamation of dissapointment when the will wasn't in the safe as: "Balls." So classy.

FILM: Box Office Results - 11/19/07

I. AM. BEOWULF! Or was it the promise of a naked Angelina Jolie that lured so many people to the box office this weekend, kicking Bee Movie out of the top spot with $28 mil? Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium didn't seem to seduce the kids very much, grossing only $10 mil and debuting at #5. I guess romantics weren't too keen on catching Love in the time of Cholera, since it debuted at #10 with almost $2 mil. But it didn't do as badly as Southland Tales, which only grossed $134,000. Margot at the Wedding faired better considering it was only released in 2 theaters, grossing $83,000. Fred Claus is still hanging in there at #4 and No Country for Old Men jumped up 8 spots to #7 with close to $5 mil. Game Plan finally retired, dropping out of the top 10 with $84 mil, securing The Rock's place in kiddie Hall of Fame.

Because of Thanksgiving, we'll have a rush of films debuting mid-week. For a family outing I'd recommend the wonderfully kitschy world of Enchanted, the holiday film This Christmas or the musically inspiring story August Rush. If you and your teen cousins want to ditch the old fogies, head to the theaters for the bad ass comic adaptation Hitman or the horror thriller The Mist. Or if you're jonesing for a little intellectual enlightenment with a side of rock history, enjoy the indie Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There.

TV: New Scifi Series "The Tin Man"

Flying monkeys, a wicked witch, a cowardly lion, a lost little girl with ruby red shoes, a brainless scarecrow, and a heartless tin man. Follow the yellow brick road to this Scifi channel series debuting in December for yet another reason why you won't have to resort to reality TV if the writer's strike persists. This modern day miniseries adaptation of The Wizard of Oz is one of many translations of the 1900 novel and the original 1939 film. The title stems from the writers' attempt to create a story about a cop in “Oz,” but then it evolved into a reinvention of the entire “Oz” legend. It dilutes the kitschy fantasy--to remove the musical element and the childlike connotations--and amps the science fiction fantasy--for more suspense and adventure.

Zooey Deschanel (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) is the beloved Dorothy Gale, referred to as DG. And although a storm does come and disorient her, the place she lands in is actually familiar, and although she may be looking for the wizard, she's also looking for her long lost mom (Ana Galvin from "The Sentinel"), who might be Glenda the Good Witch, known here as Lavender Eyes. There's a chance her mom sent her away and scrambled her memory to protect her. DG's enemy is Sorceress Azkadellia (Kathleen Robertson from "90210") whose nefarious plan is to escape from Oz (outer zone) into Earth. Helping DG stop her are Glitch/Scarecrow (Alan Cumming from X-Men 2), who has a zipper down the middle of his head and half a brain, Raw/Cowardly Lion (Raoul Trujillo from The New World), who's searching for courage, Cain (Neal McDonough from "Boomtown"), who's a cop with a scarred heart, and the Mystic Man (Richard Dreyfuss), who'll provide some much needed insight.

Aside from the crappy-looking villain, there's a chance this miniseries could seduce a couple million viewers. Since it's a reinterpretation, who knows how it'll end. Watch the trailer below for a sneak peak:

FILM: New to the Box Office - 12/16/07

Beowulf

You're probably tired of hearing about this animated adaptation and its tale of a great warrior (Ray Winstone) who defeated the monster Grendel (Crispin Glover from Charlie's Angels) and his vengeful mother (Angelina Jolie). Aside from the fact that Jolie's animated self appears very much like her (and in the nude), comic book and CGI-lovers are salivating over the trend that erupted from the surprising success of 300. The action in these type of films is ten times cooler because anything goes. As for whether the graphics or the storyline are as appealing as its predecessors, I guess we'll find out this weekend.


Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

Did you know that Dustin Hoffman was that evil bastard in Hook? He was disappearing behind the guise of a conniving pirate before Captain Jack Sparrow slurred his first come on. Therefore, it's no surprise that Hoffman is stretching his acting legs in this fantastical holiday film about a 243-year old toy store owner whose merchandise happens to come alive, thriving off the energy of innocence, imagination, and joy. Unfortunately, old Mr. Magorium is retiring--I'm surprised he's not disintegrating--and he plans on leaving his store to his apprentice (Natalie Portman)--who kind of looks like a little boy. However, no fairytale would be complete without a negative-Nelly or a wrench being thrown into the plan. Enter stage left the accountant (Jason Bateman from "Arrested Development") who, devoid of an imagination, will help Magorium get his finances in order. Not to mention, in his presence and because of Magorium's declaration, the store has thrown a temper tantrum. So it is up to the apprentice to reawaken the Scrooge's innocence and tame the antics of the naughty store. Let the shenanigans begin.


Love in the time Cholera

What I wouldn't give to sell tickets for this movie just so I can hear all the different pronunciations for "cholera." Nonetheless, the holiday film season is good because of its three themes: love, family, and inspiration. And this movie has two out of three, for it will inspire you to love the way a romantic loves: whole heartedly. This is an adaptation of a novel about a man (Javier Bardem from No Country for Old Men) who spends most of his life having meaningless sexual relations--without profolactics--because his first love (Giovanna Mezzogiorno) was taken away from him. Her father (John Leguizamo) was an old-fashioned man who believed marriage was a business arrangement not a romantic adventure. But when Bardem encounters her again when she's married to an overbearing man (Benjamin Bratt), he realizes that his heart has never been anyone else's but hers for he has loved her for 51 years 9 months and 4 days. Given a second chance, he will not pass it up. If you've seen Bardem's other film--the one where he brutally murders people--you will see, in just the trailer, that his eyes have a way of melting in Mezzogiorno's presence and suffocating in her absence. This movie will make The Notebook seem like it was written by a 5th grader.


Southland Tales

It has taken--what would seem in Hollywood time--forever for this movie to obtain distribution. There have been rumors that it was too long, too crappy, too convoluted, and just plain too much. But Richard Kelly is the mastermind, the wunderkind, the up-and-comer from 6 years ago who single-handedly sky rocketed Jake Gyllenhaal's career into the stratosphere with his dark sci-fi drama Donnie Darko. He was supposed to be great. Two years ago Domino came out. Not great. And now this film--2hrs and 40 minutes long--is just being given a limited release. Scratch that. Let's focus on the plot. The Rock plays an amnesiac action star, Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a porn star who wants to have her own reality show and talk about politics, and Sean William Scott plays a schizophrenic police officer who's after himself, and all of them are in the midst of a political and environmental disaster. If that's not complicated enough, this takes place in the future--just 9 months from now--after a nuclear attack wipes out half of Texas in 2005. There's a lot of political and enviornmental preaching intertwined in the lives of these three invidivuals and somehow Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, Amy Poehler, Kevin Smith, and Janeane Garofalo fit into this whole scenario. Seriously, go to the bathroom before you enter the theater, bring dinner, and make yourself comfortable. You're in for quite the journey.


Margot at the Wedding

Okay picture Nicole Kidman without her skin stretched so tight it looks like she has a condom on her face and imagine a sedated people-pleasing Jack Black a la The Holiday. Now if you can fathom those two in a movie together--at odds--then maybe you can stomach this plot: "Margot (Kidman) and her son Claude decide to visit her sister Pauline (Jennifer Jason Leigh from Single White Female) after she announces that she is getting married to less-than-impressive Malcolm (Black). In short order, the storm the sisters create leaves behind a a mess of thrashed relationships and exposed family secrets."


Redacted

The great director Brian De Palma, who's famous for idolizing Alfred Hitchcock, failed to seduce moviegoers or even critics with his noir The Black Dahlia. Before he starts filming the sequel to The Untouchables, he'll be promoting this war drama, a series of stories that focuses on the modern forms of media covering the war. It reminds me of the MTV documentary done last summer called "Iraq Uploaded," which featured several soldiers and the videos they recorded to show the war from their perspective.

MUSIC: "Oh my God" Lily Allen & Mark Ronson Video

If you remember that Brad Pitt 90s movie Cool World where he chased Kim Basinger around in both live and animated form and you liked it, then you'll probably appreciate this video's artistic flare. Lily Allen seductively struts around a stage crooning for a room full of guys (cameos galore) ogling her cartoonish goodies. The song itself is passable for an addition to your everday playlist.

TV: Grey's Anatomy and Heroes Spoilers

I was sifting through the zines in the salon when I happened upon an issue of TV Guide with Heroes on the cover. I flipped to the spread and spotted several revealing images of what's to come in the next few weeks, and I nearly flung it across the room. Don't read on if you don't want to know what I've seen.

The most I caught before I frantically flipped to another page were four images. The first image was of Will, Claire's boyfriend--you've probably stopped reading now, wait--and her father HRG/Noah standing side by side in broad daylight holding Elle (Kristen Bell) hostage. Alright so I had time to skim the caption. Apparently, Claire gets kidnapped and they put aside their differences to get her back with an exchange. The second image was of Hiro holding a sword. This week's episode was so killer cause we finally got confirmation that the mysterious Adam, who is behind all the assassinations, is in fact Takezo Kensei. Apparently, now that Hiro knows his father was murdered, he plans to go back in time to stop it from happening. That's not really surprising. I'd do the same. The third image was of Peter carrying a man's burnt body, which I'm assuming is his brother's. This must be from this week's Monday episode when we learn what happened after the explosion. And the last image was of Suresh with a huge headline: "Suresh's hit list." What hit list? Since when did he become evil? I hope this "hit list" is just a reference to the people he's been rounding up. First the Hatian, then the New Orleanser, and now Claire. I guess I'll find out when I go back to the salon next week and get another glance. (LOL)

I honestly had no idea TV Guide had so many scoops. Grey's Anatomy also dropped a few choice nuggets. I already knew that they were planning on bringing in a new woman in her 30s to seduce one of the guys. I really hope they weren't referring to that moderately attractive heart surgeon Erica Hahn, who somehow caught McSteamy's eye (among other things). However, they may have been referring to the nurse who is seen dining with Derek on this week's episode, played by Lauren Stamile. Aside from that, the article surprised me with two tidbits. First off, Joshua Jackson is going to have a recurring role as a young hot doctor starting in December on the 11th episode (the 8th is this week). Can I just say, May the Pacey-loving begin! And secondly, the writers are toying with the idea of Hahn's sexuality. They might--yes, might--make her gay and--even more shocking--reveal that Christina is bisexual and therefore a convenient love interest. BUT, if they were to do that then Christina really will have slept with every single heart surgeon she's worked with. And that would just be ridiculously degrading.

Oh, and for those of you missing Thomas Dekker, Claire's BF Zach, from the first season of Heroes, then you'll be pleased to know that you can catch him this Spring 08 season on The Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles.

TV: Last week on the tube...

Funny lines and interesting or annoying plot points of the week:

Reaper: Wise words from the devil: "That's what happens when you play chicken with a train, the train will never flinch."

Big Bang Theory: "Not only are there children starving in India, but there's an Indian starving right here," said Koothrappali. As for the narrative, how can Leonard and Penny pretend like they didn't makeout last week?

Bionic Woman: Tech guy Nathan was on surveillance while Jamie and her new boyfriend got all James Bond on a mission. His natural response when the villain refused to make eye contact with Jamie so she can get a retinal ID is: "Come on Casino Royale. I'm shaken and stirred." Corny? Yes, but still rather amusing.

Life: Like in every episode, Charlie gets under Dani's skin. This time he kept using a metaphor about cause and effect, like if a butterfly flaps their wings in California, it'll start some natural disaster somewhere else. Of course, he always has to run it into the ground, so you can't blame Dani when she says: "You mention that butterfly and I'm going to find it and rip its wings off."

Ugly Betty: Amanda and Mark were hilarious in this episode, including during her acapella version of Kelis' Milkshake. Mark, however, had the best lines. He told his schlubby boyfriend to dress up for Wilhemina's nuptials cause: "This wedding is so fancy Armani is wearing Prada." Now that's fancy. And when Amanda threatens to twist off his nipples with a wrench if he doesn't help her capitalize off of her relation to Faye Summers, he whines in a Queens' (the borough not the royal) accent: "Why a sudden interest in my boys?" Just to be fair, Wilhemina threw in a funny moniker I could see all over the TVblogs, referring to Daniel and his brother as "Danny and the Tranny." And I guess Posh deserves an honorable mention for at least not sucking.

Cavemen

This epsiode Nick focuses on one of his many pet peeves. There are some cavemen who are ashamed of themselves, so they pull a Michael Jackson and shave off their hair to appear homo sapien. Thus, they are known as "shavers." The funny part though was when he went to see the real estate lady to find out if a tennant was a shaver lying about his "race," and she forgot his name. So when he tried to sound out the first letter of it to jog her memory, she asks, "Are you growling at me?" Meanwhile, Sam was busy accidentally seducing Joel's girlfriend's best friend by displaying an uncharacteristic amount of road rage. What a funny little boy. Favorite line from Nick: "You know when you hate someone and then you find even more reason to hate them? It's like finding money in an old pair of pants."

FILM: Box Office Results - 11/12/07

Apparently, NBC's promotion of Bee Movie on practically all of their shows--even during Ellen's Halloween episode where she just so happened to have an audience member dressed as the bee in Bee Movie--did some good, since it's at #1 with $72 mil. Kids, however, are apparently still busy writing their Christmas lists, because hardly any of them went to see Fred Claus, placing it at #3 with $19 mil. I guess Vince Vaughn can't weasel his way back into our hearts playing the cad that he naturally is. (Lol. I could really care less.) Or maybe moviegoers haven't quite relinquished the Halloween season, since P2, a horror thriller, actually managed to break the top 10--granted it's at #8 with $2 mil, but that's impressive for a no-name director. Robert Redford's big political film and Tom Cruise's most recent attempt at an Oscar, Lions for Lambs, came in at #4 with a paltry $6.7 mil. No Country for Old Men, on the other hand, managed to gross a clean million in just 28 theaters. American Gangster, however, is still the #1 drama in the box office, grossing $80 mil.

This weekend we'll see if CGI-laden graphic novel adaptations will be taking over the big screens soon when Beowulf makes its geeky debut, faced with the task of having to outdo 300. The kids will be seduced by the playful personalities in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Women and hopeless romantics will flock to theaters to catch the literary adaptation of Love in the Time of Cholera. While Nicole Kidman and Jack Black scrounge up some indie street cred in Margot at the Wedding, directors Richard Kelly and Brian de Palma try to sell their masterpieces Southland Tales and Redacted.

FILM: New to the Box Office - 11/9/07

Fred Claus

Vince Vaughn has been out of the mainstream market for about a year, following the media circus surrounding his relationship with Jennifer Anniston and affairs with random blonde chicks. What better way to brush all of that under the rug than to do an indie (Into the Wild) and a family film about the underdog of Christmas. Apparently Santa Claus (Paul Giamatti) has a slacker for a younger brother and he needs to crash at his North Pole mansion after his girlfriend (Rachel Weisz) kicks him out. Of course they don't get along and the two of them have to resolve their sibling rivalry for the sake of all the chidlren in the world. I just realized that it wasn't until Tim Allen (for my generation at least) that Santa started becoming humanized. He used to just be that guy who taught you the real meaning of Christmas and dropped off a couple gifts. Now he has children, a wife, a brother, parents, problems, etc. It's like they're giving him an excuse for why we don't get gifts anymore. How lame.


Lions for Lambs

It's been 7 years since Robert Redford has directed a film. The Legend of Bagger Vance didn't exactly floor the critics or moviegoers. Whereas that film was a romantic drama, this one is a thriller with a political agenda. While Meryl Streep interviews Tom Cruise, the self-righteous congressman, and Redford attempts to convince a college kid (Andrew Garfield) not to throw his future away, his ex-pupils, played by Michael Pena (Crash) and Derek Luke (Catch a Fire), crash land in the middle of the war and are forced to fight their way out. It sounds like a night of debate and suspenseful action.


No Country for Old Men

The Coen brothers' new film, an adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's novel, is getting rave reviews. Javier Bardem plays a ruthless killer who hunts down a poor schlub (Josh Brolin from Grindhouse) that found loads of money near dead bodies. That may have been a sign to keep away though, don't you think? Tommy Lee Jones gets typecast, yet again, as the lawman who must hunt down this killer before he kills again. I think the most chilling line in the trailer was when a cop asks Jones: "It's a mess, aint it sherriff?" and he responds, "Well, if it aint, it'll do till the mess gets here." Everyone's pretty flippant about death throughout the whole movie, especially Woody Harrelson who is the owner of the money. Both Brolin and Bardem's performances have Oscar written all over them. So if you're in for a gruesome indie, give it a shot.

TV: Last week on the tube...

Funny lines and interesting or annoying plot points of the week:

Reaper
Best line from the Devil: "I invented therapy so that the wicked can justify their actions."

Samantha, who?
The doorman gave her her dry cleaning, which included a bridesmaid dress. So she asked him if the dry cleaner left any special instructions with it, hoping it would jog her memory as to who was getting married. And in keeping with the theme of everybody-hates-Sam, he said the dry cleaner said, "Feel free to use it as a toy," in reference to the plastic bag and its warning of not leaving it alone with children.

Big Bang Theory
It was the Halloween episode and since they're dorks they all dressed accordingly. Leonard dressed as Froto from Lord of the Rings. His goal that night was to get to know Penny's friends, but instead he belittled her ex-boyfriend, a body building meathead. Later on, Penny finally kissed Leonard--even if she was drunk, it still counts. But the funny part was actually when her ex-boyfriend, saw her kiss Leonard goodbye after he nobly rejected her drunken advances, and his response to gigantor's shock and awe was: "That's how we roll in the shire."

Bones
I love this show. Watching David Boreanez pretend to be afraid of clowns (like me) and Temperance squeal “My gun is too big for me” was the highlight of my Halloween-themed week.
Life
They were working on a case where they couldn't find a rape victim. Charlie cleverly name-drops everybody's favorite social network: “She’s 22 years old. Aren’t they all on Myspace, yourspace, Facebook, faceplace? Don’t you want a whole bunch of new friends? Don’t you want them all to know where you are all the time?” Must you mock us?

Big Shots
This would be the third show on my TV Guide where middle aged individuals named-dropped Facebook. Duncan mocked his daughter's choice for the extra intern he granted her. Apparently, she chose a hottie just like her dad would've and his way of saying that was: "Where'd you find him, Facebook?"

Ugly Betty
Normally Wilhemina and Mark's off-handed race-related jokes are funny and easy to ignore. But when she belted, "What do we want?" and he chanted "Integrated chocolates," and she enticed, "When do we want them?" and he shouted, "NOW!," I cringed all over. However, Amanda's snide comment about Mark's pudgy, scruffy boyfriend: "Not your type? It's like he ate your type," was just the right amount crude.

FILM: Breakout Star in Dan in Real Life

I saw Dan in Real Life this weekend. I was expecting to see Steve Carrell as an endearing guy who falls in love at the most inopportune moment--which I did--but I didn't expect to be entertained the most by his middle daughter, Cara, played by newcomer Brittany Robertson. Her depiction of an over-exaggerating, passionately in love teenager who can blow the smallest things out of proportion was beyond hilarious. I just kept thinking, "Did I ever do that?" Probably. But it was very possible that she could've driven that character in a campy direction that would've seemed fake and forced. Robertson, however, was so genuine in her intentions that she actually became a role model for her dad's love life. As long as the 17-year-old keeps up a path of legitimate roles, maybe we'll see her more prominently in the future.

FILM: Box Office Results - 11/4/07

American Gangster unsurprisingly took the #1 spot with $46 mil. Bee Movie appeased the kiddies enough to get it to #2 with $39 mil. The great anticipated indie Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, released in 10 theaters, grossed an impressive million. And the poorly reviewed, but truly heart-felt Martian Child, came in at #7 with $3.7 mil. Saw IV only slipped to the 3rd spot and Dan in Real Life is still holding strong at #4.

Next week, we've got the politically charged Lions for Lambs, the dramatic thriller No Country for Old Men, and some early Christmas cheer brought to you by Vince Vaughn in Fred Claus.

BUZZ: EW's Hottest Actors

This week EW's blog Popwatch asked its readers a question that came up in a "Friends" episode. If you were allowed to "cheat" on your boyfriend with a celebrity, who would it be? They were allowed to create a top 5 list. I, honestly, was expecting a list that resembles People's Hottest Bachelors. But after tallying up all the votes somehow it came down to these top 10 actors:

1. Christian Bale

2. John Krasinski ("The Office")

3. Clive Owen

4. Jake Gyllenhaal

5. Johnny Depp

6. George Clooney

7. Ryan Gosling

8. Daniel Craig

9. Matt Damon

10. Hugh Jackman

Alright, so techinically this does look just like the People's Hottest Bachelor's list (in spite of the few guys who are married or taken), but in that order? How did Bale and Krasinski make the top 2? How did Gyllenhaal beat Depp or Craig beat Damon? And what's even more amazing is that Krasinski is the only TV actor on that list? Hmm, should I start watching The Office?

FILM: New to the Box Office - 11/2/07

American Gangster

The life story of Frank Lucas, a notorious drug lord who smuggled heroine into America in the coffins of Vietnam vets, has been greatly publicized in the last few weeks, because of this autobiographical drama starring Denzel Washington, as the kingpin, and Russell Crowe, as the detective who tries to bring him down. We know now from the Glamour article--and many other features--written about his daughter that he was swallowed up by the business purely for the money. As African Americans can attest to, an honest living that pays well isn't easy to come by if you're not well-educated or well-connected. From the numerous production backstories in the trades and the talk shows, we've learned that Lucas is still alive and still justifying what he did even though he's repentant. The story itself is an examination of a man--similar to the Godfather--who was capable of loving and caring for not only his family but his people, yet was equally merciless and terrifying. That ringing in your ear is the sound of Oscar buzz. Wouldn't be the first time that Washington won for playing a menace to society. Training Day proved he knew how to play more than just the hero. These guys are so sought after that people are failing to notice the rest of the stellar cast: Chiwetel Ejiofor (Children of Men), Cuba Gooding, Jr., and Josh Brolin (In the Valley of Elah).


Bee Movie

Animated films are all about discrimination and self-discovery. So naturally this movie, heavily promoted by Jerry Seinfield, is about a bee who has a bone to pick with humanity. He realizes that humans steal honey and bottle it for sale, so he files a lawsuit against mankind. Who does he have in his corner? None other than one of the bee population's human allies: a florist. The inhumanity of the situation is easily relatable, but I cannot say that I could possibly sit still for 90 minutes to listen to his complaints even if its voiced by Seinfield. Heck there are even the voices of Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Larry King, Ray Liotta, Opray Winfrey, Sting, Megan Mullally ("Will & Grace"), and Patrick Warburton ("Rules of Engagement"), and I'm still not going to watch it. By the way, what's with Hollywood making dangerous animals seem friendly. First rats, now bees. The newest generation of kids are going to grow up to be tree hugging, rat petting, bee-loving corpses.


Martian Child

John Cusack has a knack for playing heartbroken loveable guys and he does no differently in this dramedy about a guy who adopts a kid who thinks he's a martian after his fiance dies. Amanda Peet and Joan Cusack star alongside him. It's sure to make your eyes well up.

FILM: Angelina Jolie "Wanted" Trailer

We've seen Angelina Jolie be badass before (Gone in 60 Seconds, Lara Croft, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, etc.). But maybe since she's on a quest to be the hottest philanthropist slash ambassador to the world's children slash mom on the planet, and has done films like Good Shepherd and A Might Heart, we've forgotten that she could probably kick our ass and get away with it. So it's only logical that the insanely underrated, yet impressively creative, director behind Night Watch, Timur Bekmambetov, would choose her to appear in his adaptation of the comic book Wanted.

It's a miniseries that follows a guy who is sort of recruited into the family business unwillingly when his father dies. Normally that isn't an exciting plot line, but his father wasn't a car salesman, he was "a super-villainous assassin in a world where such villains have secretly taken control of the planet." She isn't rocking the Bond girl role--looking pretty and holding a gun for show. She's more like his handler--he being James McAvoy (The Last King of Scotland). Morgan Freeman fills in his usual slot as the all-knowing and truly informative old guy who explains everything to him and trains him. This film comes at a perfect time, when geeks rule primetime (Chuck, Reaper, Heroes, Ugly Betty) and stole the summer box office (Transformers, Live Free or Die Hard, Superbad). Look for it in theaters March 2008.