FILM: New in Theaters - 5/1/09

If you haven't seen it online already love watching superhero flicks and/or things blow up, X-Men Origins: Wolverine is just the movie for you. However, if you don't like these movies and you're just bored, don't go watch it. This marks the beginning of a long series of films that will explore the origins of potentially every single X-Men character that has ever been drawn. Awesome news for comic book lovers! Not so awesome news for everyone else. In this origin story, we delve into Logan's past and discover the relationships and events that made him the blade-wielding badass that we all know and love. Sprinkled through the film are several characters that might pop up in future origin stories of their own: Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber), Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), Gambit (Friday Night Light's Taylor Kitsch), Bolt (Dominic Monaghan), Agent Zero (newcomer Daniel Henney), Silverfox (True Blood's Lynn Collins), The Blob (Lost's Kevin Durand), Wraith (rapper Will.i.am), and a young Cyclops (newcomer Tim Pocock). I'm personally psyched to finally see Gambit, one of my favorite X-Men, on the big screen. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's being embodied by the uber hot Kitsch.

If you find Matthew McConaughey as charming as most women do and find Jennifer Garner to be self-depracatingly adorable, then you'll probably watch Ghost of Girlfriends Past. Think of it as two hours of closure. McConaughey plays a guy who's spent most of his life plowing playing the field and avoiding his first love, until he has to go to a wedding and all his buried emotions start rushing back. "Ghosts" from his past start popping up to help him backtrack and realize where he went wrong. I'm guessing it's when he dumped the girl of his dreams (duh!). Nonetheless, you're sure to be tickled pink with appearances from Michael Douglas, one of Hollywood's unabashedly funny women Emma Stone (The House Bunny and The Rocker), and the over-the-top Lacey Chabert (Mean Girls).

If you are a fan of alien movies and animated films (and you don't mind sitting in a theater with hundreds of whining, screaming children), then you should watch the beautifully illustrated Battle of Terra. Luke Wilson, Justin Long, and Evan Rachel Wood voice aliens who have to stop...a human invasion. Consider this a continuation of Wall-E's message that humans are not only a waste of space and the main pollutant of Earth, but co-opters of all things that aren't theirs.

Other options:
• Last week's number #1 movie, grossing $28 mil, Obsessed, starring the divalicious Beyonce, a crazed Ali Larter, and the supposedly sexy-enough-to-be-in-a-love-triangle Idris Elba.

• The surprisingly funny family film 17 Again, starring the very much drooled over Zac Efron, the MILF with a funny bone Leslie Mann, the under-utilized but ever hilarious Thomas Lennon ("Reno 911"), and a venerable up-and-coming laugh-riot Sterling Knight ("Sonny with a Chance"). [I'd watch it again if only to see Efron get smacked 10 times in a span of two minutes, Knight calmly walk away from his crush while knowingly on fire, and Melora Hardin ("The Office") speak elvish in a sexy voice fulfilling Michael Scott's wet dream.]

• The out-right promotion of teen violence Fighting, starring the unbelievably hot Channing Tatum, the street-sleazy Terrence Howard, and the resident eye candy Zulay Henao (Feel the Noise).

• The critic-approved biopic The Soloist, starring Jamie Foxx in Oscar-mode and Robert Downey Jr. glad to not be playing the f*ck up for once.

• The Disney documentary Earth, starring beautiful creatures and landscapes that'll make you want to recycle and take shorter showers.

• The only animated film in theaters—gasp—Monsters vs. Aliens, voiced by the super-sweet Reese Witherspoon, the dopy Seth Rogen, the uber dorky Rainn Wilson, the stilted Brit Hugh Laurie, the...omg there are so many voices in this movie: Will Arnett, Kiefer Sutherland ("24"), Stephen Colbert, Paul Rudd, Jefffrey Tambor ("Arrested Development"), Amy Poehler, Ed Helms ("The Office"), Renee Zellweger, John Krasinski...funny, funny, funny people.

• The very much-talked-about political suspense thriller State of Play, starring a relentless Russell Crowe, a devious Ben Affleck, a tough-as-nails Helen Mirren, a boundless Jason Bateman, and a gossip-hounding Rachel McAdams.

• The teen-tastic Hannah Montana movie, starring (duh!) Miley Cyrus and a few new actors who aren't on the series, like native Texan Lucas Till (Walk the Line).

• The fourth film in the car porn saga Fast and Furious, starring the baritone-speaking Vin Diesel, the grittier Paul Walker, the "innocently" beautiful Jordana Brewster, and a bunch of other people who are inconsequential.

• The action-packed sequel Crank: High Voltage, starring the B-grade adrenaline junkie Jason Statham and the C-grade, glorified T&A Amy Smart.

Lastly, check these out before they exit theaters for good:
• I Love You, Man: It dropped out of the top 10 from #9 to #11 with $68 mil.

• Knowing: Moviegoers retired it from #8 to #12 with a respectable $77 mil—respectable for Nicholas Cage that is.

• Observe and Report: It's been considered as the indie Paul Blart, and has been treated accordingly, dropping from #7 to #13 with $22 mil after its third week.

• The Haunting in Conneticut: Even though it went from #10 to #14, technically it's the #1 horror movie in America with $54 mil...unless you count Obsessed.

• Dragonball Evolution: I'm not even surprised that it freefell from #11 to #22 with just a measly $8.7 mil—for shame. Maybe next time they'll stay true to the series. At least then they'll get people who will be tricked into thinking it's good as opposed to people who know for sure that it isn't.

FEATURED BAND: A Moment's Worth

Genre: Rock Pop-Punk
Members:

Latest Release: Sleepless
Track Stuck on Replay: "Too Far, Too Long"
Overall: It's customary for most fledgling bands of today (i.e. Plain White T's, Alien Ant Farm, Good Charlotte, Hoobastank, P.O.D., Simple Plan, Trapt, etc.) to fizzle out of commercial stardom and leave behind one great song as their legacy. Just like on the first day of school, we're introduced to new sounds all year long, but only a few make the cut into our exclusive inner circle, reaching the top ten of our Most Played list, getting recommended to all of our friends, and inspiring us to work extra hours to buy front row tickets. So eventually we identify what sets them apart from the rest. While A Moment's Worth may infuse every track with a healthy dose of optimism as every up-and-coming band does, they also manage to provide:

• no two tracks that sound the same
• relatable content with actual substance
• impressive manipulation of not only guitars and drums, but vocals
• a danceable track for your Monday pick-me-up ("My Lost Self")
• a scream anthem for your Friday vent session ("Sleepless")
• the closest thing to a heart-wrenching ballad that you'd ever let anyone catch you crying to ("Too Far, Too Long")
• and, most importantly, band member chemistry that ensures no signs of future-success strife.

Get Hooked: If you like the band after listening to a few tracks, you can buy your favorites on iTunes, become a fan on MySpace or Facebook or Youtube, go see them live in NYC, and/or vote for them to perform in the Warped Tour: Battle of the Bands this summer.

In the mean time, check out their video for "Eternal Optimist":

TRAILER: Hugh Dancy's "Adam"

Leave it to Hollywood to try to make Asperger's syndrome cute. Hugh Dancy (Confessions of a Shopaholic) plays a guy who has said syndrome and therefore is incapable of socializing normally. He says exactly what's on his mind at the most inappropriate moments—i.e. that's he's aroused—and takes most comments literally. The object of his character's obsession is played by Rose Byrne ("Damages"). His charming gestures amuse and amaze her, despite her friends' and parents' arguments against associating herself with him. It's an indie rom-com about loving against all odds and redefining what's socially acceptable. It's not exactly Oscar material, but it gets Dancy one step closer to mainstream male lead roles with substance.

TV/FILM TOPIC: The Girlfriend Experience

For those of you who were searching for an escort service, I'm sorry Google misdirected you. But for those of you who have heard the term "The Girlfriend Experience" pop up more and more recently, stick around.

I'm not a hooker aficionado, and I'm genuinely stumped when TV shows try to cleverly name drop rare sexual positions. But every now and then TV schools me on things I probably could've lived my whole life without needing to know.

For example: The Girlfriend Experience.

The phrase first came up on my radar when Steven Soderbergh (Ocean's Eleven) announced he was making a comedy by the same name, which would be a day-in-the-life of a high-end call girl. It wasn't until I caught the first four episodes of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" that the term was truly defined for me. Apparently, there is a service that escorts provide—among many others—that consists of them pretending they are their client's girlfriend. They could go to a hotel and sleepover for one night or an entire weekend. They could act out a previously agreed upon script where they have a lover's spat and make-up sex, or even pretend it's their anniversary. If you're thinking, like I was thinking, Why don't they just get a real girlfriend?, perhaps you should think of the un-obvious benefits to this fake relationship.

Last night's episode of CBS's "Big Bang Theory" was a perfect example. Wolowitz was feeling down in the dumps because his friend-with-benefits broke up with him. So Leonard and Raj thought it would be a brilliant idea to not only take him to Vegas, but pay a hooker to give him The Jewish Girlfriend Experience without his knowledge. I mean, eventually he figured it out, he is somewhat of a genius, but it was amusing to watch her (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, Gretchen on "Prison Break") get all Jew-ified for a buck. And it sort of de-sleazed the concept.

But now that I think about it...I've seen this Girlfriend Experience before! Richard Gere totally paid Julia Roberts for that very same service in Pretty Woman. Melanie Griffith was roped into it by children in Milk Money—in a totally PG kind of way. They explore it a bit on FOX's "Dollhouse," when they send actives out into the field as the perfect wives or girlfriends. Also, technically Michael Angarano was just a dying kid who wanted to go on a date with Sunny Mabrey's actress character in One Last Thing, but they slept together so it counts. And the only film where I've seen a woman use this service was in Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney's rom-com The Wedding Date, where she pays a high-end prostitute to pretend to be her boyfriend at her little sister's wedding and make her ex-fiance jealous. Naturally, we ladies have to give the service higher meaning than it merits, lol, but it's good to know it's an equal opportunity practice.

I wonder who else on TV would benefit from The Girlfriend/Boyfriend Experience. Ooooh Rusty on "Greek." He's definitely in need of a confidence boost after Jesse McCartney's character stole away his crush. I feel like Christine on "The New Adventures of Old Christine" would probably make it a hilarious experience for everyone. And almost anyone on "The Office" would certainly qualify as pathetic enough to use and abuse that service. Anyone else?

TV Recap: "Gossip Girl": The Seder

The most interesting vignette of last week's episode—despite the show's efforts of giving the Seder maximum screen time—was most certainly Chuck's epiphany. It started off when he harmlessly mocked Serena upon her return from Spain, and classically interrupted Jenny's date with her lab partner. Jenny reamed him out for disrupting her date and told him he was lucky he had a family to come home to—and even luckier because she hadn't yet told her father of the time he tried to rape her (I'm just as shocked as you are). She was right. He does enjoy coming home to a family, since despite the fact that he had a visitor, he was the first eager beaver to greet Serena when she returned. Sure it was under the pretense of catching her in the lie that she hadn't been up to no good in Spain, but he always needs a guise to show he cares.

The night seemed to climax, ironically, when he sent his date home unsatisfied, and even when he apologized to Jenny whole-heartedly, promising to not be around if she moved in for her peace of mind, but it was actually at its best when Nate came over to sulk. (Is it just me or is it inconsiderate of him to vent about breaking up with a treacherous Blair, knowing Chuck is in love with her?) There was a part where Nate condemned her, saying she hadn't changed since she made a deal with his grandfather to persuade him to go to Yale in exchange for getting her in. But Chuck didn't pat his friend on the back and agree, he told him straight-up that had she not changed she would've chosen Chuck over him. The truth is she did. She could've sided with his grandfather even after it was revealed that he was the one who had his father investigated, but she didn't. She forfeited Yale for him. Like Chuck said, she just needs someone to believe in her. Sulky Chuck is always so revelatory. Right then, Nate should've realized how in love his bff was. He should've stepped aside. I thought for a second that's what he went to do when he showed up at her house, but I guess not.

Perhaps the previews of B and Chuck spending the night together and holding hands in the backseat of a limo are signs of what we've all been waiting for. Speaking of previews, I CAN'T WAIT to see a born-again Georgina tonight. Last time I checked, hell didn't freeze over and pigs aren't flying anywhere.

Favorite Lines from the Episode:
• Blair described the NYU student lifestyle as reading Beloved and experimenting with lesbianism. I went to NYU. F U Blair. I can't wait to see if she actually attends the university. I can't imagine how she'll treat the other underclassmen—probably as warmly as she does Dan. Oooh I wonder if she'll dorm. The roommate possibilities are endless. She could get a female version of Dan. That would be priceless.

• Serena wondered why Chuck slept with a girl the night before if the last time she saw him, he was pining after Blair. He admitted that he was, then countered with: "But then I realized I'm a 17 year old billionaire with tremendous stamina." He never fails to make my skin crawl.

BUZZ: Wolverine's Alternate Endings, Almodovar Series, Pettyfer & Hudgens get "Beastly," and more

• In order to lure comic fans to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, they've hidden multiple secret endings on different prints and theaters will be showing different versions. Here's what you might miss:
"The film has several additions scenes during and after the credits. The first of these scenes plays a few seconds into the credits, and depicts William Stryker walking down a road. The toes of his shoes are torn and bloody from walking for so long (having been commanded by Silverfox to walk until his feet bleed, and then to keep walking). A military vehicle drives up behind him and he is apprehended by military police for questioning about the death of a general that he murdered earlier in the film in order to protect his personal vendetta. Depending on which theater the movie was shown in, one of two possible endings then appear following the credits. The first depicts Weapon XI's hand reaching out from the rubble of the nuclear complex to touch his severed head, whereupon the head comes to life and makes a brief hushing sound before the scene fades to black. The second alternate scene shows Wolverine drinking at a bar in Japan. The bartender asks if he is drinking to forget. Wolverine replies that he's actually drinking to remember."

• If you've never seen Pedro Almodovar's (Volver) incredible, over-the-top, dramedy Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, starring Carmen Maura and Antonio Banderas, do it. Do it now, because it's being developed into a TV series. It's about a jilted voice actress who spends two days trying to track down her former lover. I'm assuming the series will span longer than that, but what's really important is that we'll get a weekly dose of Almodovar, which is definitely a good thing.

• If you love "Burn Notice" but want to see Michael as a young, snarky ingenue who's teamed up with the FBI, then you might want to catch USA's "White Collar." Matthew Bomer ("Chuck") plays a con artist who helps the head of a the FBI's white-collar crime unit (Tim DeKay). Tiffany Thiessen, of "Saved by the Bell" fame, is also in the cast.

• Leighton Meester ("Gossip Girl") got a record deal. I wonder how long it'll be before Blair starts singing.

• It seems both Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens have been given a second chance at stardom. If you recall, Pettyfer was once the star of Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker, a film that was supposed to be competition for Frankie Muniz's Agent Cody Banks, but it crashed and burned in foreign theaters with a mere $23 mil. Meanwhile, the only career that really sky-rocketed after High School Musical was Zac Efron's. So while the other alumnis get record deals and sign up for more teen TV films, Hudgens has yet to make her mark as anything other than Efron's girlfriend. Perhaps starring in the teen romance film Beastly will change both their careers for good. The film is based on Alex Filnn's young adult novel, which is a modernization of Beauty and the Beast. It "tells the story of a handsome rich kid with a mean streak. When he ditches a date, a curse is placed upon him, turning him into everything he hates. The grotesque transformation leaves him with the seemingly impossible task of finding true love to break the ugly spell."

• "Arnold Schwarzenegger has given the go-ahead to include his likeness in the upcoming Terminator Salvation. A body-cast mold of Schwarzenegger made during the filming of the first film provided the basis for a digital-effects version of his famous character..."

FILM: Tribeca Film Festival 2009 Picks

If you're in NYC from April 22 - May 3, try to get a ticket to one of these Big Apple odes to cinema (I asterisked the ones I'm interested in):

BLACK COMEDY
Don McKay
Thomas Haden Church (Sideways) plays a guy who returns home after 25 years "at the out-of-the-blue bidding of his cancer-stricken ex-girlfriend" played by Elisabeth Shue (Hamlet 2).
Why you should see it: There's an old secret that adds a twist.


COMEDY
**Easy Virtue

It's an adapted play about a young Englishman (Ben Barnes from Prince Caspian) who has to introduce his uptight and rigid parents (Kristin Scott Thomas and Colin Firth) to his adventurous and feisty American wife (Jessica Biel).
Why you should see it: Because it's an opportunity to see if Biel and Barnes can actually do something other than be attractive.

***In the Loop
Tom Hollander (Pirates of the Caribbean: At the World's End) plays an idiot British cabinet member who insights a publicity storm after making inappropriate comments to the press about a possible invasion by the US and Britain into an enemy nation.
Why you should see it: James Gandolfini comically represents the American point of view, Steve Coogan (Hamlet 2) effortlessly brings the funny, and none other than My Girls' Anna Chlumsky makes her slow-and-steady return.

Whatever Works
"An eccentric New Yorker played by Larry David abandons his upper-class life to lead a more bohemian existence. He meets a young girl from the South and her family, and no two people seem to get along in the entanglements that follow." It also stars Evan Rachel Wood.
Why you should see it: Because Larry David is reliably entertaining.

DOCUMENTARY
Burning Down the House: The Story of CBGB
Why you should see it: Because CBGB no longer exists and it's one of the most famous places in music history.


DRAMA
The Eclipse
It's "about a widower (Ciarán Hinds from Munich) who sees and hears strange things in his house. His life converges with a beautiful author of supernatural fiction (Iben Hjejle from High Fidelity) and a full-of-himself pop novelist (Aidan Quinn from Practical Magic) at an international literary festival that will alter their lives in surprising ways."
Why you should see it: Because it's sure to be an eye-opening examination of a writer's mind.
The Girlfriend Experience
"Director Steven Soderbergh follows five days in the life of a $2,000-an-hour Manhattan call girl (adult film star Sasha Grey) who thinks she has her life totally under control. She even has a devoted boyfriend who accepts her lifestyle. But when you're in the business of meeting people, you never know who you're going to meet next."
Why you should see it: The premise alone is reason enough to at least watch the trailer.

Queen to Play
French actress Sandrine Bonnaire plays "an inquisitive hotel maid captivated by a vacationing couple (Flashdance's Jennifer Beals and French actor Dominic Gould) playing chess. Thus begins her obsession with mastering the game and transforming her uninspired life. An American expat (Kevin Kline from Dave) mentors her in the game that alters both their lives in this delightful feel-good French import."
Why you should see it: To add a little culture to your life.


DRAMEDY
City Island

"Vinnie's (Andy Garcia) been secretly taking acting classes, his daughter's moonlighting as a stripper, his son's got a weighty fetish, and mom's eye is wandering… the Rizzos might get along a lot better if they weren't keeping so many secrets." It's said to be a "smart and poignant dysfunctional-family comedy, set in unassuming City Island."
Why you should see it: It stars Emily Mortimer and Alan Arkin. Plus, it's a chance to see Steven Strait (10,000 B.C.) gain a little indie cred.

Here and There
"Miserable middle-aged musician Robert suddenly finds himself homeless and in need of quick cash. He accepts an offer from a young, enterprising Serbian immigrant named Branko: Travel to Belgrade, marry Branko's girlfriend, and bring her back to New York. But while on the trip, Robert meets Branko's mother, discovers that happiness comes when least expected, and begins to question whether money or love would be the true cure to his ills."
Why you should see it: To figure out why Cyndi Lauper is in it.

Original

"In this fresh and colorful lovable loser tale, Henry has spent most of his life trying to blend in. When his seemingly normal life turns upside down, his friend convinces him to move to Spain and open a restaurant. But before he can break free of the mundane, he gets sidelined caring for his mentally unstable mother, running into a lost-soul feminist who does performance art in a strip club, and a big bag of steroids."
Why you should see it: Because watching someone on their road to discovery usually helps you on yours.

**Serious Moonlight
"High-powered attorney Louise (Meg Ryan) arrives at her country nest for a little R and R only to discover that her husband (Timothy Hutton) plans to leave her for a younger woman (Kristen Bell). Oddly cool, Louise plots to hold Ian captive until he commits to working on their marriage, but that's when things really start to go wrong."
Why you should see it: Because this is the late Adrienne Shelly's (Waitress) script and her dear friend Cheryl Hines ("In the Motherhood") is directing.

**Stay Cool
"Henry McCarthey (Mark Polish) returns home to give the commencement speech at his high school. But even after almost 20 years, it's as if he never left--he again wants the girl, gets suspended by the principal, and is grounded by his parents. This charming comedy, featuring Winona Ryder and Hilary Duff, reminds us that time certainly does fly and old flames are hard to put out."
Why you should see it: Because you miss Chevy Chase and/or want to see Lost's Josh Holloway somewhere other than a creepy island.

**TiMER
"Finding true love is easier than ever thanks to a bio-technological implant called the TiMER, which counts down to the exact time people meet their soul mates. Love-starved Oona (Emma Caulfield from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") is pushing 30, but her TiMER hasn't even started counting down yet. What's worse, she's falling for a guy (John Patrick Amedori from "Gossip Girl") who is set to meet his true love in four months.
Why you should see it: Because most people are dying to know when they're going to meet that "special someone" and this film will indulge that desire.


FOREIGN
Entre Nos
"Adoring mother Mariana (talented codirector Paola Mendoza) has toted her two children from Colombia to New York to indulge her husband's whim. But when he abruptly abandons the family, she'll have to rely on her own imagination and courage--and that of her remarkable kids (breakthroughs Sebastian Villada and Laura Montana)--to survive insurmountable odds during their first summer in the United States.
Why you should see it: Because it's always important to see the other side of the illegal immigrant story.

Mascarades
"Mounir desperately puts on some big-shot swagger for his small Algerian village by spinning a fantastical fib that involves his narcoleptic sister Rym's engagement to a European business mogul. As things unravel into a tangled mess of jealousy and irrepressible desire, surprising alliances form that fundamentally shift the way of life for his entire community."
Why you should see it: Because Slumdog Millionaire was just the beginning. Soon laughter will truly know no boundaries.

**My Dear Enemy

"Lee Yoon-Ki's (This Charming Girl) deadpan comedy trails a pair of former lovers--he's a romantic and she's a realist--who bump into each other one year down the road. She wants back a hunk of cash she lent him, so they spend the day winding through downtown Seoul on a hilarious mission to collect his old debts."
Why you should watch it: Because it's nice to watch a realistic love story every now and then. And let's be honest, running into your ex when you least expect it and demanding reparations for their wrongdoings is realistic.

Rudo y Cursi
"Stars Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna and producers Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men), Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth), and Alejandro González Iñárritu (Babel) present a splendid, riotous film about a pair of thickheaded stepbrothers whose rivalry takes them from their jobs on a small-town banana ranch to star spots on opposing soccer teams."
Why you should see it: Because Spanish indie boys are highly entertaining--no rules, no hang-ups, just plain fun.

HORROR
The House of the Devil
"Set in the early '80s on the night of a lunar eclipse (and all the more shocking for being "based on true unexplained events"), this simmering retro horror film centers on a cash-strapped college girl who answers a babysitting ad only to gradually unravel the terrifying secret behind why she was truly hired."
Why you should see it: Come on. Tell me you don't want to know what the secret is.


ROM-COM
**The Good Guy
"Rising Wall Street star Tommy (Scott Porter) has it all: looks, charm, money, and a budding romance (Alexis Bledel). But when he teaches a seemingly hapless coworker (Bryan Greenberg) the ways of money and seduction, Tommy may become the unwitting agent of his own downfall. This true insider view of Wall Street culture explores what it means to be 'good.' The answer just might surprise you."
Why you should see it: 1) Because you miss watching Bledel on "Gilmore Girls." 2) Because you will miss seeing Porter on "Friday Night Lights." 3) Because Greenberg is in desperate need of an official big break.

My Last Five Girlfriends
"Based on the international best seller On Love by Alain de Botton, this delightful romantic comedy explores with delicious wit and whimsy just how modern urban relationships go wrong. Surveying the wreckage of his last five relationships, thirtysomething Duncan (Brendan Patricks) concludes that love is a battleground where only the fittest survive."
Why you should see it: To pick away at Cupid's profession

Wonderful World
"Matthew Broderick is Ben Singer, the world's most negative man. When his roommate, Ibou, falls ill, Ben is forced to host his Senegalese sister, Khadi (Sanaa Lathan from Something New). What starts as an awkward living arrangement soon turns into something more, and Ben's usual self-destructive nature gives way as he begins to find inspiration in the most unlikely of places."
Why you should see it: Because Broderick never fails to surprise you.

THRILLER
Moon
"A thoughtful character study wrapped in a hi-tech sci-fi flick, Moon stars Sam Rockwell (Choke) as the sole operator of a lunar mining base, living with only a computer robot (voiced by Kevin Spacey) to keep him company. Three years living on the surface of the moon, far from the touch of his wife and young daughter, has taken its toll--he's starting to hallucinate, touching off a thrilling chain of events that will shake his sense of identity to the core."
Why you should see it: It's an interesting analysis of solitude in an age where people are always connected, whether through Facebook or Twitter.

Tell-Tale
"Inspired by the classic Edgar Allan Poe horror story, Michael Cuesta's chilling tale follows Terry (Josh Lucas from Glory Road), a single father whose recently transplanted heart leads him on a frantic search to find the donor's killer before he meets a similar fate. This unsettling psychological thriller features Lena Headey ("Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles") and Brian Cox."
Why you should see it: Because body parts-switching thrillers are always surreal and suspenseful.

Also Check out:
• Drive-In : Three out-door screenings at the WTC Plaza, where you can see films like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
• Meet the Filmmakers at the Apple Store: You can watch speeches and discussions with Natalie Portman, Gael Garcia Bernal, Dan Fogler, and many more.

TRAILER: Vanessa Hudgens's "Bandslam"

Sooo, Vanessa Hudgens plays the object of some geek's obsession in this teen music-infused rom-com Bandslam. It's about "a new kid in town [who] assembles a fledgling rock band -- together, they achieve their dreams and compete against the best in the biggest event of the year, a battle of the bands." Hudgens plays the "rocker" lead singer. Also starring are pop singer Alyson Michalka of Aly & AJ and Ryan Donowho, who you might remember as the Marissa-smitten skater who drunkenly fell to his death on "The O.C." The honor of playing the dork goes to the 19-year-old Gaelan Connell, who, according to IMDb, is actually in a rock band called Sweet 16. (He also used to be the lead singer of the DC band Exist.)

I'm not quite sure what to make of the film just yet, but I'm always up for anything music-related.

FILM: Fey & Wahlberg; "Eat, Pray, Love" Adapted; "Little Shop of Horrors" Remake, and more

• Leslie Mann is probably (and unfortunately) best known for having roles in her husband, Judd Apatow's testosterone-filled films, but now she's teaming up with Elizabeth Banks for her own buddy film. It's based on the Barbara Davilman and Liz Dubelman novel What Was I Thinking?, a compilation of "worst ex-boyfriend" stories. Banks will play a jilted bride and Mann will play a woman who just can't find the one. Two other female roles of supportive bffs need to be cast. Let's see. Two actresses who are B-list enough not to outshine the leads, but are damn funny? Perhaps, Kristin Wigg (Adventureland), who's subtly hilarious, Maya Rudolph (Away We Go), who's yet to make us laugh outside of "SNL," Sandra Oh ("Grey's Anatomy"), who has a knack for deadpan humor, and Becki Newton ("Ugly Betty"), whose wily personality deserves big screen exposure. Who would you cast?

• The first High School Musical was loosely based on Grease, so the fourth one, which won't feature the main actors of the original, will be based on West Side Story. It follows lovebirds from rivals East High and West High. Hmm, I wonder if there'll be knives involved. lol

• Ok so, if I were Tina Fey--overflowing with power and clout--and I got to pick a hunky guy to flirt with me in a movie, I'd totally choose Mark Wahlberg. Great minds think alike! Wahlberg is rumored to be joining Fey and Steve Carrell in what sounds like a romantic action comedy called Date Night, where a married couple fail miserably at trying to have their weekly night-out-on-the-town because of several misunderstandings and odd occurrences. Wahlberg plays a hot security expert who flirts heavily with Fey, and, to add to the hilarity, James Franco plays a petty con man, Kristin Wiig (Adventureland) plays her bff, and Leighton Meester ("Gossip Girl") plays her babysitter. (It's like the producers shook a bag full of Hollywood types and pulled out names randomly. lol)

• If you find Elizabeth Moss as amusing on "Mad Men" as I do, then you might want to catch her in Get Him to the Greek, where she'll play Jonah Hill's repressed doctor girlfriend. The film is about a record company lackey who has to get a rock star, played by British comedian Russell Brand, to a specific location. Rose Byrne ("Damages") will play Brand's ex-girlfriend, a Courtney Love-type rocker.

• Elizabeth Gilbert's food-inspired memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, is being adapted into a film that'll star Julia Roberts. It's about a woman "who seemingly has it all but comes to the realization that life isn't for her. After a painful divorce, she sets out on a journey of self-discovery around the world."

• X-Men: Wolverine won't be the last spinoff of the saga. A film focusing on the younger generation, subtitled First Class, will chronicle the beginnings of the original team, following young Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Beast. I think the most interesting bit of news concerning this spinoff is that they've tapped "Gossip Girl" creator Josh Schwartz to write the script. He's become the go-to for tolerable teen content. I just wonder if they intend on slipping in any mean girls into the high school-set world of mutants. Can't wait to see who they cast! I know they kind of already have a young Cyclops (newcomer Tim Pocock) in Wolverine, but what about Matt Long for First Class, and maybe Odette Yustman (Cloverfield) or Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Live Free or Die Hard) for Jean?

• Megan Fox seems to have a knack for the adrenaline-pumping and eerie roles. She has the horror comedy Jennifer's Body this fall and the action thriller Jonah Hex next summer. Soon she'll start shooting the action adventure Ironclad and the crime thriller The Crossing. I think the latter will be her first non-big-budget, studio-hawked film. It's about a woman who has to smuggle heroin across the border in order to free her kidnapped husband--expect a lot of crying, begging, and then an 11th hour turnaround where she kicks somebody's ass. Hmm, since Michelle Rodriguez won't be in the next Fast & Furious--yes, there's going to be a 5th one--I think they should add Megan. It might seem beneath her, but car porn was practically invented for girls who look like her. Hell, she can talk and walk at the same time, which is more than I can say for most of the girls in that franchise. *cough*Gal Gadot*cough*

• Little Shop of Horrors is the sole reason I visit the dentist maybe once every three years. (No worries, my doc says my teeth are awesome.) But I just can't imagine anyone else striking that fear into my heart besides Steve Martin and Rick Moranis (who's been stuck on voice-over duty for more than 10 years, but will finally return to the big screen when Ghost Busters gets revived in 2012). Unfortunately, some Hollywood douche has decided that not only does he want to retell the story of a mild-mannered florist who discovers a singing, carnivorous plant that feeds on human blood (and flesh), but he plans on taking it in a "different direction." Why don't you just write original content and leave this masterpiece alone? Honestly, I don't think you should be allowed to remake a movie unless all of the main actors are dead or it really sucked. For example, Pirates of the Caribbean? No. Nim's Island? Yes!

• Speaking of funny murder plots, you know how everyone thinks Reese Witherspoon is super sweet and super cute? Well, she's about to mock the hell out of that notion when she stars in the crime comedy Nice. It's about a magazine writer who accidentally kills her boyfriend, then realizes it's easier to kill them than break up with them. Ohhh the amount of women that will flock to the theaters is unimaginable. lol

90s Flashback: Blossom, Janeane Garofalo, and more

I had major flashbacks this week. Here's a rundown of all the 90s stars who popped up on the tube for somewhat under-the-radar guest spots:

• Mayim Bialik, who's best known for the five years she spent starring in "Blossom," a dramedy that launched Joey Lawrence's career with just one sound: "Woa!!," was on "Bones" Wednesday night playing a suspect in a murder.

• Janeane Garofalo's been hitting the TV circuit hard in the last five years, scoring recurring roles on "The West Wing" and "24." But her most surprising gig was as a potential feminist mentor for Casey on ABC Family's "Greek" this Monday. Talk about random. That won't be the last time we see her on the network though. Since it snatched up Lindsay Lohan's Labor Pains and Garofalo has a part in the rom-com, she'll grace their airwaves once again. But you'll be seeing even more of the no-bullshit comedian this year in the comedies Love Hurts and For Better or Worse.

• I was watching "Parks & Recreations" Thursday and suddenly Pamela Reed shows up as Leslie's mom. Instantly, I was like, "Hey! There goes that lady from Kindergarten Cop." Poor woman. An entire generation of people only know her as Arnold Schwarzenegger's sidekick.

• Tim Reid, who you may remember as Tia and Tamera Mowry's dad on "Sister, Sister" reunited with Tamera on her new ABC Family comedy "Roommates" to play her dad again. Both have toned down their over-the-top, campy humor. But this time, instead of hiding her bad grades from him, she was trying to hide her vibrator. Things sure have changed.

TRAILER: Robert Rodriguez's "Shorts"

Normally, I find Robert Rodriguez's kids' movies (Spy Kids saga and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D) to be extremely annoying and garrish. This one...is hilarious! Imagine if a wish-giving rainbow rock fell from the sky. Now imagine a child finding it. What would you wish for if you had a preppy girl for a bully and a bunch of goofy friends? Oh and don't forget, you have to be specific when you wish, otherwise you might get a phone stuck in your head. You know, because you want to have telephonesis.

TV REVIEW: NBC's "Parks & Recreation"

I held off on reviewing Amy Poehler's new series becasue I didn't want to make a snap judgement. Unlike hour-long pilots, 30-minute comedies don't usually have enough time to set the vibe and introduce the characters to create a cult-following in their first episode. While there are plenty of "Office" and "30 Rock" viewers now, it wasn't due to overnight success. When ABC's "Cavemen" was cancelled, many bloggers sited how unfair it was that other shows with lower ratings didn't get axed first, but there were also those who were all to happy to say good-riddens, having only given the series a one-episode viewing. There's an episode of "The Office" where Michael and Dwight go to New York to party with Ryan. It's depressing and pathetic and worst of all there's no Jim-Pam subplot. If a channel-flipper had seen that episode, they wouldn't be the least bit attuned to what's actually happening on that series--multiple viewings are a must.

That said--after seeing two episodes--I found Poehler's character Leslie Nope, an ambitious city politician with dreams of presidential power, to be adorably optimistic at first. She seemed like a genuine fresh character for Poehler. But as I watched the second episode, I grew annoyed by the fact that whenever she wants to guarantee a laugh, she puts on this bug-eyed expression and starts mumbling nonsense--funny nonsense, but nonsense nonetheless. While I do find it amusing, I'm a little disappointed. Poehler had introduced us to this new character, yet I could spot traces of her SNL schtick and her Baby Mama wackiness. It was like I was watching Poehler not Leslie, which is extremely distracting. Not to mention, I was hoping she'd challenge herself and show us a whole new side.

Much like "30 Rock" and "The Office," the funniness is partially dependent on the ensemble cast. Aziz Ansari's ("Human Giant") pervy crass humor as Tom stands out the most, which isn't really that hard to do when you're merely competing against a temporarily crippled user (Chris Pratt from Bride Wars and "Everwood"), a stereotypically unfriendly teenage intern (newcomer Aubrey Plaza), an unhelpful and indifferent boss (comedian Nick Offerman), a boring and semi-helpful nurse (Rashida Jones from I Love You Man), and what's supposed to be the resident Jon Hamm (Paul Schneider from Lars and the Real Girl and The Assassination of Jesse James). "The Office" can at least boast a bevy of scene stealers. They can spend an entire episode following Phyllis or Oscar around--running an errand, on a sales call, or simply telling the show through their perspective--and it would have you cracking up. But I don't want to spend 30 minutes learning about that nurse or that intern.

However, like I said before, comedies should be given multiple viewings. So I'll cut it some slack for now.

TV/FILM Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Movie

As I said earlier this week, Sarah Michellar Gellar didn't exactly hit paydirt when she transitioned to film after her hit series "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" ended. So it's no surprise that she's considering taking Buffy to the big screen. While she does have a new HBO series in the works, Alyson Hannigan is working hard on her hit CBS comedy "How I Met Your Mother," Anthony Head (Giles) just finished filming the British crime film The Finest with Idris Elba and is about to film the Shakespearean adaptation of Macbeth, Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn) just signed on for NBC's new medical drama "Mercy," and Eliza Dushku (Faith) has FOX's "Dollhouse" and the horror film Open Graves. The only cast member who's free as a bird is Nicholas Brendan (Xander).

When it comes down to finalizing the roster, I hope they work in Seth Green's Oz. Aside from pre-dark-witch Willow, he was my favorite character. He has the animated film Mars Needs Moms! and the sequel The Brazilian Job in the works, but I'm sure he could fit in a few funny moments for our viewing pleasure. Plus, they should definitely capitalize off of Twilight fever and add more wolves. Since he left the series, he could come back with his pack. And since James Marsters' Spike was revived in "Angel," he could come back too. Imagine the look of surprise on Buffy's face when she learns he survived sacrificing himself in Sunnydale.

However, I'm hearing that she might be a mom in the film. I wonder if it'll be to a teenager who she has to train to become the next slayer. That'll be sick, because not only would she have a trained fighter as a mom, but a wiccan as a godmother--twice as powerful as her mom ever was. Oh god I just pictured Ashley Tisdale trying to fight vampires. She's so vintage Buffy--pre-watcher. Yikes. What blonde teenish looking actress do you think could play Buffy's kid? How about...maybe Emma Roberts or Hayden Pannetierre.

Woa. If she has a kid, then she has to have a husband right? Hmmm, or maybe the kid's an adopted slayer. You know, cause at the end of the series all the slayers were activated and they united to prevent the end of the world, so maybe she got attached to one in particular. But if she does have a husband, who would be big enough to draw attention, but not so name-brand to deflect from the lore? Hmm, maybe Alex O'Loughlin ("Moonlight") or Steven Strait (10,000 B.C. and The Covenant):

Then there's Willow. If I'm not mistaken Tara died, so that leaves an opening for a love interest. After seeing this dark image of Sophia Bush, I'd snag her for the role of her wiccan counterpart.

The biggest "get" would definitely be David Boreanez (Angel). I feel like the only reason they didn't end up together--besides the whole curse thing, lol--is because Boreanez wanted his own series, so why not give avid fans the happily ever after they always wanted. Although, that would make it awkward if Spike is around. Plus, if they did have Angel in the movie, it would beef up the cast. We'd get Amy Acker (Fred), who just joined a new series called "Happy Town" and has a role on "Dollhouse," Alexis Denisof (Wesley), who is totally free, J. August Richards (Gunn), who's on TNT's "Raising the Bar," Vincent Kartheiser (Connor), who gets swarmy on AMC's "Mad Men," and Charisma Carpenter, who just wrapped the horror flicks House of Bones and Vivid, and is about to start filming The Expendables. The only person who's officially out is Andy Hallett (Lorne), who met an untimely death earlier this year. [R.I.P.]

No matter who's in the film though, I just hope they introduce more mystical elements into Buffy's mythology. I mean, there are just so many things that go bump in the night.

Comic Adaptation: My Chemical Romance's "Umbrella Academy" & Zac Efron in "Full Metal Panic"

My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way is getting his comic book, The Umbrella Academy, adapted into a film. It's about a group of disbanded superheroes who reunite after the death of their adoptive father, an alien disguised as a wealthy entrepeneur. Mark Bomback (Constantine, Live Free or Die Hard, and Race to Witch Mountain) is adapting. Can't wait to see the cast they team up for this.


Since Zac Efron turned down the lead in Footloose so that he could diversify his resume, I don't see why he shouldn't sign on for the adaptation of the Japanese manga series Full Metal Panic. He'll play an anti-terrorist commando who has to protect a high school girl with mystical powers. I've never read it, but even I hope she's actually Japanese. But as long as she's not Vanessa Hudgens I'll be fine.

TV NEWS: "Make It or Break It," "10 Things I Hate About You," "Legally Blondes," "Telephathic," & "Dorothy Gale"

Here's a list of new shows for Summer 2009 and Fall 2009:

• "Make It or Break It" (also known as "Perfect 10"): a teen drama about competitive gymnastics and training for the Olympics, starring newcomers Chelsea Hobbs and Ayla Kell, and Candace Cameron Bure (DJ from "Full House") and Peri Gilpin (Roz from "Frasier"). [ABC Family, June 22]

• "10 Things I Hate About You": It's an adaptation of the 1999 teen rom-com that starred Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Larisa Oleynik. [ABC Family, July 7]

• "Legally Blondes": a spinoff of Reese Witherspoon's franchise that'll star twins. It's a special mini-series that'll only last ten days. [ABC Family, August 1-10]

• Nickelodeon has two new pilots. One is an untitled comedy that focuses on two teenage surfers, and the other is "Telepathic," which is about two dorky teenage boys and a popular girl who survive high school because of their telepathic powers.

• NBC has an interesting new series called "Dorothy Gale." Yeah, that Dorothy. They're modernizing the Wizard of Oz tale and transforming it into a story about a Kansas girl who "tries to tackle modern-day Manhattan (her version of the Emerald City)." She finds a job in the art world, where she's employed by a wicked witch boss. If produced properly, it won't end up being a terrible cross between Coyote Ugly and Devil Wears Prada.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?: Brittany Murphy & Leah Remini

While it's true that Brittany Murphy hasn't been completely out of the limelight, as she voices Luane on FOX's "King of the Hill," she hasn't exactly been front-and-center either. The last time I saw her in a movie was during a whim Netflix Instant Watch viewing of 2006's Love and Other Disasters. However, according to IMDb, she has several projects in the works for 2009: the horror flick Deadline with Thora Birch, the thriller Across the Hall with Mike Vogel, and the made-for-TV Lifetime mystery romance Tribute with Jason Lewis ("Sex and the City"). But as the year progresses she'll start filming more mainstream stuff, like Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables, Robert Rodriguez's Sin City 2, and the crime dramedy Poor Things with Rosario Dawson.


Leah Remini ("King of Queens") was on maternity leave and now she's returning to TV for ABC's newest comedy "Don't Try This." It "examines marriage and parenthood through the eyes of three couples." Matthew Lillard (Without a Paddle and Scooby Doo) plays her stay-at-home husband.

FILM: Alex O'Loughlin & J.Lo, Bale & Wahlberg, and more

• Either Jennifer Lopez has hit rock bottom or Alex O'Loughlin ("Moonlight") is about to get a big break. He's been cast as the romantic lead in The Back-Up Plan, playing the guy Lopez falls for after she gets artificially inseminated. They should call it Bad Timing.
[lol Alright ladies, relax. I just meant that normally film actresses—good or bad—don't have TV actors as male leads. J.Lo used to get George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey as love interests, and now it seems you can't pay a film actor enough to star opposite her. That aside, I know Alex is a great actor. I loved him in "Moonlight" too.]

• Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg are rumored to be teaming up for the Bryan Singer thriller Prisoners. It's the story of a "small-town carpenter (Wahlberg) who butts heads with a young, brash detective (Bale) in charge of the investigation of his missing six-year-old daughter and her friend. The father is a Bible-reading, deer-hunting survivalist. The cop, meanwhile, can't wait to get to the city. Feeling failed by the law, the father captures the man he believes responsible and begins to torture him in a desperate attempt to find out what he did with the girls, whom he's convinced are still alive." How do we give a vengeance flick credibility? Oh, I know, add a little Bale.

• I love Maria Bello, so when I found out that Adam Sandler has tapped her for his next star-studded comedy, featuring Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Salma Hayek, and Maya Rudolph, I was ecstatic. It's about high school friends who reunite after 30 years. Only in a Sandler film would a bunch of dweebs score those hot chicks for wives. Bello plays James' wife and I can't wait to see who scored Hayek.

• You know when a plot sounds so boring you can't believe someone's going to take two hours to unveil it? Well, after reading that Jennifer Garner signed up for a comedy called Butter, where she'll play a competitive butter-sculptor...I nearly fell asleep while writing that.

• I love meaningful teen rom-coms, like Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, and hopefully David O. Russell's (I Heart Huckabees) Aaron and Sarah will be one of them. It's about a "nerdy guy and a popular girl who meet as freshmen and, over four years of high school, four proms and one funeral, become friends and eventually fall in love." That's how it should be done—over time. Some of the best rom-coms play out that way. I have high hopes for it, especially since the writers of "Pushing Daisies" are behind it.

TV NEWS: NBC's "Kings" Cancelled?

People have been buzzing about NBC's "Kings" being cancelled. It wasn't.

For all of you who love it as much as I do, rest easy...for now. They've just moved the series from Sunday to Saturday, but they're saying things like "the remaining episodes" will air on that day, as in what's left of the series. That's not good. They claim it's because it's a bad lead-in for "Celebrity Apprentice," causing it to have low ratings. Um, okay so it only has 1.5 million viewers, but that's no reason to blame it for "Celebrity Apprentice" having low ratings. Maybe it's because—brace yourself—it's stupid.

Which series do you think "Kings" should be paired up with to get a better lead-in and boost its ratings? I think, since "Friday Night Lights" has finished its season, they should pair up "Southland" and "Kings" on fridays—the boys vs. the girls (FOX's "Sarah Connor Chronicles" and "Dollhouse.").

Read a recap of the SERIES FINALE!

TV Buzz: "Pushing Daisies," "Eli Stone," and "Dirty Sexy Money" Finales

Summer Saturdays will be filled with the final episodes of three ABC shows that were canceled: "Pushing Daisies," "Eli Stone" and "Dirty Sexy Money." Finally, we'll get some closure. Here's when they'll return:

"Pushing Daisies": May 30-June 13
"Eli Stone": June 20-July 11
"Dirty Sexy Money": July 18-Aug. 8

Find out what the cast of "Pushing Daisies" is up to:
• Lee Pace's (Ned) body-switching thriller, Possession, may have went straight to DVD--explaining why Sarah Michelle Gellar has returned to TV after a failed attempt at film--but he has the drama coming up called A Single Man. It chronicles a day in the life of an English professor (Colin Firth) whose partner just died.
• Anna Friel (Chuck) will be yucking it up on the big screen with Will Ferrell in the live-action adaptation of Land of the Lost, and getting semi serious in the comedic crime drama Angel Maker, which is about wives who murder their husbands after they return from war to discover other men have replaced them.
• Chi McBride (Emerson) scored a part in the dramedy Happy Together. It's about "a mother and wife stricken with memory loss allows a dysfunctional family a second chance at harmony and happiness."
• Kristin Chenoweth (Olive) is the busiest of all. Not only is she voicing a character on FOX's animated fall series "Sit Down, Shut Up," she'll be headlining her own NBC law dramedy, "Legally Mad." She also has three new films in the works: a drama called Into Temptation, where she plays a suicidal prostitute, the animated film Rapunzel, and an adaptation of the Broadway musical Wicked.

TV Topic: Recurring Actors

I'm a little conflicted by what I've noticed recently: a lot of guest-starring actors keep popping up all over the mini-tube.

Garret Dillahunt plays the murderous Russian Roman Nevikov on "Life" and the robotic Terminator prototype Cromartie on "The Sarah Connor Chronicles." A fellow cast member, Dean Winters, plays Sarah's ex-fiance, Liz's beeper-hawking boyfriend on "30 Rock," and Sam's dad on "Life on Mars." Armie Hammer has had the pleasure of being Serena's potential love interest on "Gossip Girl" and Sam's annoying older demon brother in "Reaper." His fellow castmate, Ken Marino, plays baby-toting, gay demon Tony, a camp counselor on "Greek," and a love interest on "In the Motherhood." Emile Danko terrifies as the mutant-killing agent on "Heroes" and also had a stint of evil on "Damages." Tricia Helfer, of "Battlestar Galactica" fame as Number Six, painstakingly played the harsh-hearted Carla on "Burn Notice" and the bitchy know-it-all Agent Alex on "Chuck." Robert John Burke used to play Bart Bass on "Gossip Girl" and now he's back on "Rescue Me" as Tommy's troubled brother.

A girl can get emotionally confused watching an actor play several characters in just one month. Normally they play the same persona, allowing directors to typecast them, like Hammer as the smooth and seductive type and Helfer as the sexy badass. It takes a pretty impressive actor to convince you they're a swarthy crime lord and a mindless robot like Dillahunt, or to juggle being a trustworthy confidant and a total douche like Winters. However, I still find that it pulls me out of the series when I'm wondering why the hell the devil's son is trying to bag Serena or why the cryptic doctor (Francois Chau), who records instructional videos for the Dharma Initiative on "Lost," is a bowling nemesis on "Gary Unmarried."

The only time I don't really mind is when it's an actor I think deserves mainstream status, like Noel Fisher ("The Riches"), or if it introduces me to a fresh face, like Erik Palladino. Recently I've seen him as a hot-headed boxer on "Reaper," a pessimistic P.I. on "Cupid," and a mysterious government agent who's sure to recur on "Fringe." Him, I'd like to see more of, but most of the other actors should find a steady gig and stop disrupting my TV viewing.

TV REVIEW: NBC's "Southland"

If you like (slash, are capable of tolerating) "Cops" and "America's Most Wanted" (the original reality shows), then you'll like this new cop series. Bearing gritty, documentary-like, guerilla camerawork and hardly any dialogue, the scenes seem incomplete--just cuffed together like a collage of all the big-and-bad in the world: drive-bys known as ABGs (Anybody Goes), child molestation, and fathers soliciting hookers with babies in the backseat.

But despite the drive-by feeling of every scene, the emotion does register. Then again, why wouldn't it? Who wouldn't you tear up at the sight of a mother who lost her child, or a teenager who was shot four times? Unfortunately, at this point, we've only nicked the surface of the main characters. Much like a documentary, the viewer feels like they're on the outside. Aside from the intro—when we felt Officer Ben Sherman's (Benjamin McKenzie of "The O.C." and Junebug) remorse for taking down a thug, who shot an officer three times in the chest, as he crouched over the body amidst chaos, incapable of hearing anything but the silence of death—and the end—when we witnessed the sorrow felt by Detective Lydia Adams (Regina King from This Christmas and Miss Congeniality 2), who solved a missing child's case after finding her dead—there were hardly any solid character moments.

I guess after watching a series like "The Unsuals," which managed to peg all eight of its main characters with cookie-cutter personas, I was expecting a little more insight into who these cops were, instead of a jarring look at what cops must endure in order to protect and serve. They leave a lot to interpretation. From what I gathered:

• Ben comes from a relatively wealthy family as his dad spends most of his time lawyering the rich. He takes police work very seriously, doesn't disregard taking a life as a just-cause, and is an impeccable marksman.
• His partner, Officer John Cooper (Michael Cudlitz), is a tough-as-nails hardass who over-criticizes and has a fatalist perspective on life.
• Detective Lydia takes care of her mother and finds refuge in solitude after a hard day's work. • Detective Sammy Bryant (Shawn Hatosy from Alpha Dog) has a way with children, and is possibly sterile, since he keeps avoiding his baby-wanting wife.


Also, as I said before, the dialogue is sporadic and they rely too heavily on a gimmicky and distracting bleep sound for expletives, and thoughtful one-liners, like when they described policing the streets as "driving through a sewer in a glass bottom boat." Die-hard police procedural viewers will probably tune in, but I think I'll pass.

TV REVIEW: ABC's "The Unusuals"

I'm not really a fan of the buddy cop procedurals--not unless the cops in question are quirky like Cruz and Dani on "Life," and Richard and Kate on "Castle." I prefer quirky ensembles, in the vein of "Bones" and "The Mentalist." Those cops aren't just cogs in the wheel of a case, which is how I feel most of the "CSI" and "Law & Order" cops are. They're so...cardboard--not two-dimensional, but just...bland. The viewer has to want to come back for the people and not just the cases. They should want to know what's eating away at their favorite detective this week. That's why I gave "The Unusuals" a shot. They've cornered the market on quirk.

The pilot sets up the season's driving force. A cop, Kowalski, was murdered, and while the episode ends with a drug dealer, who sought to avenge his little brother's death, as the main suspect, it's more likely that Kowalski's secret investigation of his fellow officers was the real reason. Especially since the newly reformed, bible-thumping Henry (Joshua Close), who moved to NYC and changed his name after stealing an armored car at the age of 18, planted the gun and badge in the drug dealer's house. Don't hate him just yet. He's not your average low life. He's not resolute in his decision, as he truly did find God after his wild teen years. Me thinks there's more to his evil deeds than meets the eye, like perhaps someone's forcing his hand.

He hesitated as he was about to stash the evidence in a hole in the wall, and the cause of his hesitation was the gun powder outline of one of his fellow officers that looked like Jesus. The lucky bastard, who survived a gun shot blast to the face, was Eric (Adam Goldberg from Deja Vu and Zodiac), a reckless officer who's resolved himself to dying any which way than by the brain tumor that's given him six months to live. His partner, Leo (Harold Perrineau from "Lost"), on the other hand, is an overly cautious and superstitious cop who believes that he'll follow in the footsteps of every man in his family and die at the age of 42, which is the age he just turned. These two putzes, however, have a higher life expectancy than Casey (Amber Tamblyn from "Joan of Arcadia"). She's the new cop on the team, who was pulled from vice to be the sergeant's (Terry Kinney from "Oz") eyes and ears, and flush out a corrupt cop, which sounds like the assignment Kowalski was on...and we know how that ended.

Casey's partner and Kowalski's ex-partner is Jason (Jeremy Renner from The Hurt Locker). He's supposed to be odd in a hot way, and he sort of pulls it off, but his background is so cluttered with oddities I'm not sure what to make of him. He used to play for the Yankees, he owns a diner that he seems to simply open when he's hungry or bored, he makes disgusting meals, he can't give a straight answer for why he became a cop, and he believes that people's secrets are what keep them sane. So I guess we should expect him to lose his cool once they're all revealed. I bet they're more interesting and jarring than whatever reason Casey relentlessly got kicked out of six prep schools, dropped out of Harvard, and chose walking the streets--sometimes literally--over rubbing elbows with the rich and aimless like her socialite parents want her to. No, Jason's secret might hark closer to Castle's Kate, driven to drop out of the league because of the death of the person who left him that diner. I'm just spit-balling, but they could be connected...or maybe he's just unusual.

While it's true that these cops are offbeat, they thankfully don't overdo it. I love the sporadic CB radio announcements that say things like, "Be on the look out for a ninja or a ninja-like figure." The quirk is balanced with a good dose of normalcy. Jason may mix pretzels into an omelet, but he also playfully messes with Officer Eddie (Kai Lennox), who loves pandering to the press, kissing the boss's ass, and taking credit for things he has no right to--he's a social climber in the worst way. Casey may prefer rags over riches, but she also has that classic female cop persona. The sergeant said he chose her because she couldn't be bribed, but I think it's because she's eager to prove herself and be treated like a badge and not a vagina. Leo may wear a bulletproof vest 24/7, but he's also eager to work on big cases and not crimes like a cat-murdering spree. Eric may comically blow his top at anyone who pushes him too far, making his "bad cop" routine that much more entertaining, but his reaction to realizing his fleeting mortality is very very normal. Some people, like Ugly Betty's Holly, would just prefer to live the life they have left instead of wasting it away in a hospital bed. Lastly, Henry may respond to every situation with religious undertones, which seem out of place in a gun-toting, shit-talking precinct, but his tussle with good and evil is totally human.

Being unusual is the goal, but they're also dedicated to realism. When the sergeant tells Jason his partner is dead, he doesn't take him aside or sit him down, he just says it like he's ordering a pizza. Cops don't stop to mourn. When a fellow officer is killed, the number one priority is to get the guy who did it. The series is as much of a parody of police enforcement as it is a love letter to the job. In the end, when Jason says a few words to honor his partner, he explains that badge numbers are handed down just like jersey numbers are in sports, unless the badge owner dies, then it's retired. Despite all the wild antics of the day, ultimately, the badge is something to be respected. Because of the great mix of humor and drama, it has potential. Of course, it all depends on where the underlying mystery is headed.

TV REVIEW: HBO's "The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency"

I wasn't planning on liking this series. Sometimes the roles African Americans are cast in can be a bit cartoonish. But it's damn near impossible not to like the main character of this unorthodox detective series adapted from Alexander McCall Smith's novel. R&B singer Jill Scott (Why Did I Get Married?) plays Precious, the only female detective in Botswana (and possibly Africa). Ever since she was a kid, learning the ways of her people, she's wanted to solve crimes. Once her father passed away and left her his lucrative land and herd, she sold everything, moved to the "city," and opened her own agency.

So no, it's not anything like "CSI" or even "Monk." It's more like a toned-down "Burn Notice," if Michael was a sweet-talking black woman, who found a new lease on life after her ex-husband's abuse caused her to miscarry. She's generous, selfless, and creative with her limited resources. Heck, she's so hellbent on helping others that she doesn't even charge half of her clients. But despite how harmless, innocent and defenseless she may look, she's actually ballsy enough to stand up to one of the most dangerous men in Botswana and seduce a married man to prove he's an adulterer.

Her partner slash secretary, Grace (Anika Noni Rose from Dreamgirls), serves as most of the comic relief. She's abrasive, stiff, proud, insecure, and secretive. She goes home to an unidentified, couch-ridden man, who cares enough to ask her how her day was, but quarrels with her for rejecting payment until the agency actually makes money. There's surely a backstory there that'll be blown wide open later.

The other cast of characters are an encouraging, gay hairdresser; a lovable mechanic, who wants to marry her; a crooked, ambulance-chasing lawyer; and an enterprising child, who's always eager to make an honest buck.

The two-hour premiere seemed fast-paced. But the second episode was slower, which is a good thing, since sometimes it's hard to keep track of all the cases she's working on simultaneously. All in all, though, it's really amusing and interesting to see what types of cases would arise in Botswana as opposed to Miami. While there are the classic clients who seek a P.I. to tail their cheating husbands, there are also missing children taken by voodoo priests who sell their fingers; twin dentists, who botch surgeries because they share one medical license; do-gooders who pretend to lose fingers on the job to use the workman's comp to fund daycares and playgrounds; and men suspected of being kidnapped by cults, but who were actually snatched up by a gator during a routine river baptism. You won't find many of these on "Law & Order," but you will be just as intrigued.

Scott does an impeccable job for her first lead role, and Rose has a true knack for comedy. But the question, as always, is whether or not this is a one-season wonder or if it has "Dexter"/"Sopranos"-type staying power. The fact is the title doesn't exactly attract the male masses, and the posters--not to mention the, dare I say it, all-black cast--won't exactly attract a majority of middle America. I like it. I wanted to see more after watching three hours straight. But I doubt it'll be able to compete with "Desperate Housewives," where the "cases" are scandalous, drawn-out mysteries for the viewers to solve.