FILM TOPIC: Who should be cast in The Bodyguard remake?

There are plans for a remake of the 1992 Kevin Costner-Whitney Houston romantic drama The Bodyguard. My only hope is that the singer they choose to replace Houston is an actual singer, and I don't mean Rihanna. For the sake of keeping the interracial relationship intact and adding a little diversity to Hollywood's upcoming film slate, how about we brainstorm some African American crooners.  

Beyonce isn't the best actress. Jennifer Hudson has slimmed down enough to be considered "hot enough" for a lead romantic role. I'd love to hear Anika Noni Rose sing more, but she's not famous enough to woo a large audience. Kerry Washington could definitely pull-off stubborn and obnoxious. Some might consider Halle Berry (44) looks too old, since Houston was 29 at the time of the role (even though Costner was 37). I think Nia Long would be interesting. But again, I have no clue if Washington (34) or Long (40) can actually sing. And if they're aiming for an even younger demographic, they could go for Lauren London (26) or Keke Palmer (17).

Here's my dream casting though: Alicia Keys and Channing Tatum. That would be amazing.

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FILM NEWS: Diaz & Firth, Bosley Chosen for "Charlie's Angels," Hailee Steinfeld's Next Film, and more

• The Coen brothers have tapped Cameron Diaz for a remake of the 1966 British caper comedy Gambit. "In the remake, Colin Firth plays a London art curator who plots an elaborate scheme to con a wealthy collector into buying a fake Monet painting. As part of the ruse, he recruits a Texas steer roper (Diaz) to play the part of a woman whose grandfather liberated the painting at the end of WWII." Hmm Firth and Diaz?

• I was sincerely excited to read that Zach Galifanakis will be joining Ryan Reynolds in the buddy cop movie R.I.P.D. They both crack me up so much that I'm sure they'll bring down the house. What'll make it even more preposterous than those two being partners is that the film is about a dead cop who joins a ghost police force and Zach plays a ghost cop from the 1800s. Can you imagine what Zach would behave like if he were from the 1800s? I can't wait.

• Upon hearing the news that Cobie Smulders (left) will be playing Nick Fury's sidekick in The Avengers, I wasn't actually shocked. She has this mysterious air to her when she's not cracking wise on "How I Met Your Mother." Her character is ruthless and quick to blackmail. This should be a nice change of pace.

• Selena Gomez, like every Disney graduate, is intent on not sticking to cookie-cutter roles. She signed onto the adaptation of Jay Asher's 13 Reasons. The novel is about "a shy California high school student who returns from school to find a box waiting on his doorstep. It contains seven cassette tapes recorded by Hanna Baker, the classmate he had a crush on. Before she committed suicide, Hannah sent the tapes to one classmate with instructions to pass them on to a list of students like a chain letter. The tapes explain to 13 people how they played a role in her death." It's pretty heavy for her fanbase, but if she can deliver stellar acting in the trailer, she might be able to garner a whole new audience.

• Lovebirds Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan (It's Complicated) are teaming up for the romantic indie He Loves Me. Dano will play a talented young novelist overcome by writer's block who is told to write the woman he thinks will love him, and somehow he manages to will her into existence.

• Charlie's Angels fans may be shocked to hear that the role of Bosley will be played, not by someone three times the lady's age, but someone their same age. Ramon Rodriguez (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Battle: Los Angeles) is set to play a modern version of their team leader, complete with "GQ looks" and hacker skills.

• Armie Hammer was quoted as saying that he has a "ton of kissing scenes" with Leonardo DiCaprio in the upcoming Hoover biopic. That's not really news. Just wanted to report it.

• Both Ralph Fiennes and Javier Bardem in the next James Bond? Yes. And yes.

• Zac Efron will star in the action comedy The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman. The story "follows Charlie who, after the death of his mother, heads to Europe to find himself. There, he meets a girl and falls in love. Catch is she's the girlfriend of an insanely violent crime boss with a gang of thugs at his disposal. However that won’t deter Charlie who endures one bruising beat down after another to woo the girl." It sounds unnecessarily violent, but I guess we'll see.

• Et tu Dakota Fanning? Poor girl hasn't even finished puberty yet and she's already stuck playing the girlfriend. In Mississippi Wild, she'll devotedly follow around her diamond-stealing boyfriend (Ryan Donowho from Bandslam and "The O.C."), who's on the run from a local gangster (Mickey Rourke).

• This just sounds ridiculous enough to at least view the trailer for: In the action comedy The Blind Bastard, starring Mickey Rourke, Rodrigo Santoro, Lenny Kravitz, and Rosario Dawson, "a group of blind thrillseekers who begin bar brawls, jump out of planes and pretend they’re not blind - all in order to live life on the edge."

• Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) has signed on for her next film, Forgotten. She will play London Lane, "a 16-year old whose memory is erased daily at 4:33am. The following morning, all she can remember are events from her future. Soon after meeting a new boy at school, she becomes frustrated that she can't seem to find him in her memory of things to come."

• Timothy Olyphant might play the Lone Ranger to Johnny Depp's Tanto. That could very well be his breakout film...hmm or not.

• I am genuinely excited to learn that Aaron Ashmore ("Smallville") will be joining the cast of "Warehouse 13" as Pete's new partner, who has the ability to tell when somebody is lying. I'm assuming that means that Claudia is going to be Myka's new partner. That'll be cool. Girls vs. Boys.

• Gerard Butler is doing yet another romantic comedy. This time he'll play a divorcee who volunteers to coach his son's soccer team. He discovers that all the soccer moms are hot for him, including Uma Thurman. Besides the fact that Thurman doesn't have a good track record with romantic comedies, the woman he's divorced from is Jessica Biel. I said Jessica Biel. Who divorces Jessica Biel for Uma Thurman? Oh, an imaginary character.

• I normally don't do low-brow indie thrillers, but this one's plot sounds pretty cool. Amanda Seyfried and John Cusack have signed on to the dark thriller The Bullet. It follows a man known as The Clockwalker, "who devises the ultimate plot of revenge against a seemingly random group of people by manipulating them to kill one another." That sounds like it could be a really good mindfuck. Besides, how often do you get to see Cusack as a villain?

• Jame Marsden and Patrick Wilson have signed on for the indie thriller Loft, where five friends rent an apartment together where they could all bring their mistresses. That sounds like it could be a comedy, except for the fact that one day they discover an unknown woman's dead body and start to question whether they really know each other. What? You mean you can't trust your adulterous friends? No way!

ALBUM REVIEW: Britney Spears's "Femme Fatale"

Our former pop princess, who conceded the throne to Rihanna when she shaved her head and let a pap into her bed, still has the good fortune to score great dance tracks ("Till The World Ends," "I Wanna Go," "(Drop Dead) Beautiful," and "Seal It With a Kiss").

The rest of the album either seems like really bad techno or gratuitous attempts at trying to push the I'm-still-a-sex-symbol angle that honestly most of us are a little uncomfortable re-upping after her self-hating self-destruction due to being treated like a sex object with a visible price tag since she was sixteen.

I miss old Britney. The Britney that could dance. The Britney that was bubbly and carefree, and knew how to laugh at herself. This Britney is conscious of what makes her money. Her hearts not in it anymore.

FILM REVIEW: Zack Snyder's "Sucker Punch"

I had a lot of hope for Zach Snyder's visually astounding, post-Watchmen, action drama Sucker Punch. I'm a chick, so I was totally on-board for the five female heroines aspect of the film, and since I love action films, I was even more excited to watch them kick ass.

Instead, Snyder weighed the film down with a completely disturbing and depressing tale of sexual abuse, child molestation, pedophilia, and underage prostitution. That is not the core of your average action film. And while I'm sure Mr. Snyder thought it innovative of him to make an action film with substance, what he actually created was two films that were sadistically stitched together. There are children watching this film for the awesome sword-fighting scenes, the dragon battle, and the cyborg throwdown mid-bomb disabling. And even if they shouldn't be, Snyder should've made 60% of the trailer about these girls' trauma, because that's all the audience will ultimately remember, especially since it was bankrupt of awesome one-liners and more than 3 minutes of Jon Hamm. The one bright spot of the film, however, was Oscar Isaac, who played the power-hungry pimp like a pro. He's one of those villains you just love to hate.

ALBUM REVIEW: Jennifer Hudson's "I Remember Me"

There's obviously a reason Ms. Hudson won "American Idol" AND an Oscar for the musical drama Dreamgirls. She's musically gifted. Just listen to the Mary J. Blige-scorned "No One Gonna Love You," the Kelly Rowland-esque "Where You At," Jordan Sparks-ish "Gone," the upbeat Alicia Keys co-written track "Everybody Needs Love," and the cover "Feeling Good."

That said, I think Ms. Hudson would be better suited to conquer Broadway rather than play the pop diva, because she'll never reach Beyonce levels, which is what every diva should aspire to. She doesn't have artistic vision, and she only co-wrote one song on the album with OneRepublic's Ryan Tedder ("I Remember Me"), while Keys wrote one ("Angel") and co-wrote two ("Everybody Needs Love" and "Don't Look Down"). She's still just a pawn. Just look at this lackluster music video where she barely dances as proof:

FILM REVIEW: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, & Seth Rogen's "Paul"

I, like many dorks, love the boys of Shaun of the Dead. However, they've yet to top their claim-to-fame. Hot Fuzz was a decent effort. Their attempt to spoof buddy cop films was at least better executed than Cop Out. But it wasn't as funny as Shaun of the Dead. It's unfortunate that they've set the bar so high. Nonetheless, I think Paul is a return to form. It would seem that the more ridiculous the plot is the better they do. A cop comedy was too basic. An alien escape buoyed by British pot smoking Comic Con attendants Graeme (Simon Pegg) and Clive (Nick Frost), however, is the perfect amount of lunacy.

It could've gotten stale though after the first half hour if they stuck to the E.T. schematic, but luckily the added subplots kept things interesting: there was the uber religious Ruth (Kristen Wiig) who questions her faith once she realizes God never mentioned aliens, causing her to try drugs, sex, and get creative with expletives, and then there was the determined government agents (Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, and Joe Lo Truglio), rocking the MIB gear.

Again, this could've sucked if they cast the wrong actors. But with Wiig milking her doe-eyed act and cursing up a storm, Bateman acting badass, Hader losing his marbles with his easily distracted sidekick Truglio, every minute of the film had the audience's arrested attention. And let's not forget Seth Rogen doing the voiceover for the alien. It's disturbing just how much his voice fits that little green dude's body.

The trailer may not seem to promise much, but there are car chases, shoot outs, death, and a major twist at the end. It's as much an action movie as it is a comedy. And for those people who think it's just mindless fun, you might be surprised to learn that there's a definite embedded message about the weight Americans put on religion and their close-minded rejection of the evolutionary theory. Not to mention, a lesson on compassion and equality for all outsiders, whether they're from Earth or Mexico.

ALBUM REVIEW: Nicole Scherzinger's "Killer Love"

It has taken what feels like an eternity—for Nicole anyway—for this former Pussycat Doll's debut to hit the cyber shelves. She started recording in 2005, and the album was supposed to be released in 2007. But after several false starts, it's finally here. And so is the reason it took so long. While Scherzinger may have proven to have the best vocals in her group, she isn't that much of a songwriter.

Although, she did co-write one of the two tracks worth listening to on the album, "AmenJena." It's on tracks like these that it becomes obvious that under the right management she could have Leona Lewis-levels of respect in the industry, instead of only just being hot enough to be featured in a photo book of butts funded by Diddy.

I'd also recommend another ballad, "You Will Be Loved." (Her hidden talent for yodeling is featured in the beginning.) I'm very pro-ballads when it comes to her, because the club songs on the album aren't really produced very well, even with the assistance of Enrique Iglesias ("Heartbeat"), who has become the King of Latin Pop lately with the help of Pitbull and the "Jersey Shore" cast. Plus, the fire that once ignited her club songs were derived from the girl power vibe that the group emulated. Without her fellow Dolls on backup, she falls flat.

FILM REVIEW: Red Riding Hood

When Twilight first came out, critics and fans skewered Catherine Hardwicke's vision, complaining about the bad hairpieces, amateur wire work, and of course Edward's infamous glittery skin. She claimed that all of those gaffes could be attributed to her lack of funding. Handed $30mil to do this film, she was given a prime opportunity to redeem herself. Mission unaccomplished.

She had us all fooled. The trailer promised a beautiful Winter Wonderland with vibrant shots of color that seem to bleed through the screen. What we got instead was a set and performances that amounted to nothing more than bad theater. But that's that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that the "modernized" Red Riding Hood story she set out to tell was basically a Twilight clone.

Two guys—one seemingly good (Max Irons' Henry), one seemingly evil (Shiloh Fernandez's Peter), both prone to bad tempers—fall in love with the same girl, Valerie (Amanda Seyfried). One has her parents' approval, the other is looked down upon. She doesn't know which to trust, but she definitely loves one a lot more than the other. The one she chooses eventually becomes a monster and she consigns herself to a lifetime of being endangered by his true nature. It's as if Hardwicke was trying to prove that she could tell the Twilight story better. She cast Billy Burke as Valerie's dad. She made her wolf a gigantic dog. And it was telekinetic. It was a sad cry for approval, and a far less interesting rendering of the supernatural love triangle.

I was hoping that getting to see Shiloh Fernandez and Max Irons for the first time on film might make it all worth while. But they weren't given much to work with and their performances were hardly memorable. Even Gary Oldman as the human villain Solomon hardly left an impression. Seriously, the most interesting part of the film was when he interrogated a mentally-challenged boy, believing him to be possessed, by locking him in a steal elephant and baking him to death. Sick and twisted.

But not as sick and twisted as who the murderer ended up being. His motives were ludicrous and disgusting. The allegory of Little Red Riding is the lust for a woman's innocence, and the lengths men will go to get it, hiding behind a guise to lure a woman into bed. Given the identity of the wolf, you'd be as grossed out by that connection as I was.

Hardwicke should stick to indies. She doesn't have that Guillermo del Toro or James Cameron or even J.K. Rowling vision to create a mystical place, and no amount of money will ever change that.

FILM REVIEW: Battle: Los Angeles

Most alien action invasion films tell the story of he infiltration from beginning to end like Independence Day. But this film is a little more like District 9. Whereas that film begins at the end of the invasion, this film is simply the tip of the iceberg. It shows the events of the first 24hrs of an invasion. There's no cinematic happy ending where all the ships are simultaneously and conveniently destroyed, the heroes don't get to go home right after, and they're not greeted by their loved ones smack dab in the middle of a war zone. It's as realistic as Black Hawk Down or Saving Private Ryan—soldiers going into battle, genuinely terrified of dying, and eager to find an all-encompassing solution to their problem.

Aaron Eckhart is a born leader, which was proven by his previous performance in The Dark Knight. Ramon Rodriguez, who is best known for his frazzled performance in Transformers 2, stepped up to the plate, graduating from goofy sidekick to respected martyr. Fellow soldiers, played by Cory Hardrict ("Lincoln Heights"), Ne-Yo, Will Rothhaar (Hearts in Atlantis), Jim Parrack ("True Blood"), and Noel Fisher ("The Riches"), played it like they were in Iraq and the insurgents were flesh and blood. The best soldier, however, was Michelle Rodriguez, who played the sole female warrior with the inside intel. The aliens themselves resemble District 9 creatures, mixed with Terminator robots, as did their ships. The cinematography and guerilla camerawork reminded me of Black Hawk Down and "Friday Night Lights."

But the reason to watch this new entry into the genre, above all else, is for the underlying army credo. At the end, the remaining soldiers succeed in taking down the West-coast-based mothership, and now know how to disable the rest and level the playing field. When told to enjoy the luxuries of a makeshift camp, decked out with new clothes, food, water, and cots, they choose to rehydrate and reengage. Hidden within this sci-fi tale is the reality of real life war. The aliens are just like any other civilization in search of resources. And their soldiers are as mechanical as ours. They are treated like machines, redeployed for four or five tours. They are trained to be relentless and fearless. It's a celluloid tribute to the dedication of our armed forces: the true superheroes.

ALBUM REVIEW: Lupe Fiasco "Lasers"

Lupe Fiasco is a rare breed of rapper who doesn't just rhyme about money and cars and hos. He's more of a deep-thinking lyricist—more Jay-Z than Kanye, but definitely a player in their ballpark. His latest contribution to the Hip Hop genre is the album Lasers. The singles, Hollywood-directed "Show Goes On" and the hauntingly damning "Words I Never Said," which features Skylar Grey, were great examples of the album's balance between upbeat and darker songs.

He delivers a dance-able track with an addictive chorus, "I Don't Wanna Care Right Now," which features MDMA. Trey Songz assists him in romancing the ladies on "Out of My Head." He even mixes genres on the electro-pop track "Break the Chain," which features Swedish songwriter Eric Turner and British rapper Sway. His best guest artist though is John Legend, on the nostalgic track "Never Forget You."

The most lyrically impressive track is definitely "Words I Never Said":

I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
Uhh, And a bunch of other cover ups
Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, that's on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move it so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the fucks”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such
And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit
That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either
I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

As long as there's corruption in the world, Fiasco will have plenty of material to fuel his creativity, and I look forward to the next eviscerating installment.

TRAILER: Brandon Routh & Sam Huntington's "Dylan Dog: Dead of Night"

PLOT: The adventures of supernatural private eye, Dylan Dog (Routh), who seeks out the monsters of the Louisiana bayou in his signature red shirt, black jacket, and blue jeans.

CAST: Brandon Routh (Superman Returns), Sam Huntington ("Being Human" and Superman Returns), Taye Diggs, Peter Stormare ("Prison Break"), Anita Briem (Journey to the Center of the Earth)

VERDICT: This is one of those trailers you have to watch blind without knowing the plot or the cast so that you can be enticed to watch it, because it's basically a B-list horror comedy, like Zombieland meets Constantine. I feel bad for Routh. He went after the coveted role of Superman and bombed big. So big, it's been five years and people still mention it, even more now that it's been recast with a dashing Brit. That said, it looks funny enough for a rental and I love the adorably funny Huntington enough to endure it.

Release Date: April 29

TRAILER: Hudson, Goodwin, Krasinski, & Egglesfield's "Something Borrowed"

PLOT: Friendships are tested and secrets come to the surface when terminally single Rachel (Goodwin) falls for Dex (Egglesfield), her best friend Darcy's (Hudson) fiancé.

CAST: Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield ("Melrose Place" and "All My Children"), Ginnifer Goodwin (He's Just Not That Into You and "Big Love"), John Krasinski ("The Office" and It's Complicated),

VERDICT: First off, that description is misleading. From the trailer, it seems like Dex was interested in Rachel, Rachel was too much of a wuss to initiate a relationship even though Dex gave her a second chance to, and Darcy, her over-confident glamorous friend, snatched him up without any consideration. Then a few years later, they both work up the courage to bang each other and screw over Darcy. If I didn't know that this film is actually the first part of a two-part story, I would see it just because I love romantic comedies. But I'm even more intrigued because I know that the plot of this adapted book. *SPOILER* Apparently, after Rachel officially steals Dex away, Darcy slowly comes to the realization that she's meant for their other friend, the handsome and supportive Ethan, played by Krasinski. Any film where Krasinski is a romantic interest is a movie I'll see. I even saw License to Wed. (eyeroll)

Release Date: May 6

TRAILER: Paula Patton & Laz Alonso's "Jumping the Broom"

PLOT: Two very different families converge on Martha's Vineyard one weekend for a wedding.

CAST: Paula Patton (Just Wright and Precious), Laz Alonso (Just Wright and Avatar), Angela Bassett, Loretta Devine, Mike Epps, Julie Bowen ("Modern Family"), Tasha Smith (Why Did I Get Married Too?), DeRay Davis, Meagan Good, Romeo

VERDICT: It's not often that an African American comedy doesn't take place in the ghetto and involve some form of criminal behavior (First Sunday) or insulting poor person plot (Lottery Ticket). And it's not often that films acknowledge that racism doesn't just happen between two races but also between two class systems. I know from experience that minorities aren't exempt from upholding hierarchies, and looking down on someone of their own color just because they can't afford a Bentley. No matter what you are it always seems to be about what you have. Our Family Wedding did a horrible job of highlighting this, insulting both Mexicans and African Americans (and, in the end credits, Asians). But Something New was the low-key Jungle Fever, and Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker managed to tell the story of a beautiful interracial and inter-class relationship. Therefore, it can be done. This story, however, seems to be more about the strife than the love. Not to mention, Patton seems to be doing an impression of Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30, and I know she can act better than that.

Release Date: May 6

TRAILER: Attack the Block

PLOT: About a teen gang in South London defending their block from an alien invasion.

CAST: Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead), Jodie Whittaker, Luke Treadway

VERDICT: It's like Cloverfield meets Shaun of the Dead with teenage thugs and criminal adults. The only reason I'm interested is because it looks like light-hearted fun.

Release Date: May 13 (UK)

TRAILER: X-Men: First Class

PLOT: In 1963, Charles Xavier (McAvoy) starts up a school and later a team, for humans with superhuman abilities. Among them is Erik Lensherr (Fassbender), his best friend... and future archenemy.

CAST: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Basterds), Rose Byrne ("Damages"), Nicholas Hoult (Clash of the Titans and A Single Man), Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone), Kevin Bacon, January Jones ("Mad Men"), Zoe Kravitz, Lucas Till (Hannah Montana: The Movie), Oliver Platt

VERDICT: I love stories like these, where we get to watch the slow disintegration of a friendship and the startling evolution of a villain. Some people are a little wary of the film being set in the past and the entire cast being replaced by younger models, but McAvoy and Fassbender are surprisingly convincing as leaders of a revolution, and I'm excited to see young Hollywood (Lawrence and Hoult) stretch their legs a bit in lighter fair. Plus, who doesn't want to see Kevin Bacon do more than just get foot loose?
 
Release Date: June 3

TRAILER: Russell Brand & James Marsden's "Hop"

PLOT: The Easter Bunny is accidentally hit by a car after he runs away from home to become a rock star, and it's up to the offending driver (Marsden) to save Easter.

CAST: Russell Brand (voice), James Marsden, Kaley Cuoco ("The Big Bang Theory"), Elizabeth Perkins ("Weeds"), Hugh Laurie (voice)

VERDICT: This is like Alvin and the Chipmunks and Santa Claus put together. Seriously, when did the Easter Bunny travel the world delivering candy? Last time I checked, kids decorate boiled eggs and get baskets of candy from their parents. I don't recall ever thinking that the chocolates came from an actual bunny. Whatever. Kids will love it, and mothers will jump at the chance to stare at Marsden for two solid hours.

Release Date: April 1

TRAILER: Russell Brand's "Arthur"

PLOT: A drunken playboy (Brand) stands to lose a wealthy inheritance when he falls for a woman (Gerwig) his family doesn't like.

CAST: Russell Brand (Get Him to the Greek), Helen Mirren, Luis Guzman, Jennifer Garner, Greta Gerwig (No Strings Attached and Greenberg), Nick Nolte

VERDICT: I knew this was a remake of the 1981 rom-com starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli, so I watched the original once I heard the news. From the trailer, it seems that the story is basically the same. Garner plays the woman his family wants him to marry, and he's more interested in a less extravagant girl played by Gerwig. But it seems like the caretaker and butler roles have been enhanced to give Mirren and Guzman more screen time. I'm cool with that. What's not cool is that Gerwig's character doesn't seem as sharp-tongued and sassy as Minnelli was, and I'm afraid that's because, as Hollywood tends to do, they made they gave all the good lines to the male comedian. I've only seen Gerwig act for 10 minutes, but I know she could handle meatier dialogue, and doesn't need to be so vanilla. Poor and boring are not interchangeable characteristics. Hopefully, the trailer is misleading and Gerwig has more of a personality than just the girl who is lucky enough to get swept off her feet by a future billionaire. That said, I look forward to laughing at Brand's shenanigans and seeing Garner in a role where's not an adorable girl-next-door or a leather-clad badass.

Release Date: April 8

FILM REVIEW: Alex Pettyfer & Vanessa Hudgens's "Beastly"

In the teen fantasy romance, Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens play the real life version of Beauty and the Beast. After screwing with the wrong Wiccan (Mary-Kate Olsen), the obnoxious, insensitive popular kid Kyle (Alex Pettyfer from Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker) is cursed to look as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside, unless he can find someone who loves him unconditionally. If a year should pass before he does, he'll be stuck with scars and animated tribal tattoos all over his bald head, face, and arms forever.

The key to recreating the magic of that Disney fairytale is to show how the Beauty gradually tames the Beast. Given the preposterous manner in which this Beast manages to imprison this Beauty (Vanessa Hudgens)—brokering a deal with her drug addict father to allow him to protect her from the brother of the man her dad accidentally murdered—it's hard to believe she'll ever have any interest in helping him. His failure to woo her with gifts and riches gives way to an education of what's truly valuable. He learns not only to reassess his understanding of the world, but to also be selfless, despite the fact that the only reason she's with him is because of his selfish desire to be cured by her.

Pettyfer was given the task of making us hate him and then root for him. But it was a little difficult to gauge whether his desire to learn poetry for her, build a gazebo for her, and buy a box of her favorite candy was because he really did feel this nervous and insecure desire for her acceptance or if he was just desperate to be attractive again. It isn't until he is rudely awoken by the realization that his efforts to be liked by his father and friends are pointless that he starts to seem genuinely interested in the one person who does like him. He starts to see his nanny Zola (Lisa Gay Hamilton from "Men of a Certain Age") as more than someone who is paid to do and not speak. And he starts to care more about helping people, like his blind tutor Will (Neil Patrick Harris), than he does about being helped by them.

Pettyfer has proven to have a knack for playing bad boys and Hudgens is improving at playing more than just cavity-inducing sweet characters. The best performance, however, that essentially saves the film is Harris's. He added some much needed levity to an often depressing and dark tale.

Overall, Beastly would make for a decent rental if you're a fan of fairytale endings.

CRUSHWORTHY: Pablo Schreiber from Happythankyoumoreplease

Where you've seen him: As Nick on "The Wire," and most recently in the indie Happythankyoumoreplease
Why he's Crushworthy: He was playing a dreamer who clashed with his lady love on where they should settle down, East coast or West. As the film progressed, it seemed they grew further and further apart. He was deadset on convincing her that NYC  was soul-crushing and that sunny California was the Mecca for creativity. Nothing about his tactics or motives was charming or endearing, but when he was faced with the final ultimatum and sucker-punched with an even heavier load of responsibility, he didn't crumble under its weight. He didn't do the chivalrous thing—which would suggest adhering to obligations—he did the unexpected. He forfeited what he wanted for what they needed. It's difficult to play on the audience's emotions—making them judge you one minute and fall in love with you the next—but Schreiber pulled it off.
Where you can see him next: The indie drama After and the war thriller Recalled with Aidan Quinn, Malik Yoba (Why Did I Get Married?), Seth Gabel ("Fringe"), and rapper Bow Wow.

FILM REVIEW: Take Me Home Tonight

In 2007, Spider-Man 3 was supposed to be a stepping stone for Topher Grace, but four years later his acting career has been pretty uneventful, apart from the supporting roles in such popcorn films as Valentine's Day and Predators. Given the general lack of momentum that his career has, it makes perfect sense that Topher would decide to write and produce his own film. Because who is more likely to hire him as a lead actor than he himself? Of course, he didn't really write it. He just thought of the story with Gordon Kaywin, and Jackie and Jeff Filgo, former "That 70s Show" writers, were the ones who wrote it. So technically, he just went back to drink from a dry well. Then, on top of that, he decided to promote this as a John Hughes-esque comedy. Did it work? Ehhhh not really. It opened with $3 mil. But the question is whether or not moviegoers are missing out.

The film is set in the 80s during Labor Day weekend. The main character is Matt Franklin, a video store clerk who has a serious case of quarter life crisis syndrome after graduating from college and realizing he doesn't know what to do with his life. That is until he sees the one that got away, Tori Frederking, played by the latest addition to the hot Hollywood actresses list, Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four), who looks like a blonde (and happy) Kristen Stewart. He was a major dork in high school, even though his twin sister Wendy (Anna Faris) was ultra popular, so he never mustered up enough courage to ask her out. Empowered by the sight of her and driven by his general lack of direction, he decides to pretend to be a sports car driving Goldman Sachs employee so he can win her over. Of course, it wouldn't be one of those John Hughes generation snapshots if everyone wasn't having a quarter life crisis. Turns out Tori realizes her boss only favors her because she's beautiful and she hates how boring her job is even though she makes insane amounts of money. Matt's best friend Barry (Dan Fogler from Fanboys), who helps him steal the sports car, lost his job at the dealership for being the worst salesman, so he decides to become a coke addict. And Wendy is waiting to hear back from Cambridge to see if she's moving to England to study creative writing, but her preppy jock boyfriend Kyle (Chris Pratt from "Parks and Recreation") would much prefer it if she stayed and married his moronic, inconsiderate ass. So it would seem Matt's contagious.

The film reminds me of Can't Hardly Wait, that late 90s teen flick about a guy who spends all night trying to tell the girl of his dreams that he's in love with her at their last high school party, while so many other random things happen throughout the night. The main difference between these two films is that Matt manages to get the girl half-way through the film and then spends the rest of it trying to regain her trust. All of his apologetic gestures and humiliating experiences would've been totally noteworthy had I thought 1) she merited the attention and 2) they were compatible. It seemed more like he was just another symptom of her quarter-life crisis, not the one who almost got away. However, despite the fact that the love story fell flat, I do think this generation of 20somethings could benefit from the ultimate moral of the story: Stop being afraid of life.

But if you don't watch comedies for life lessons but to actually laugh, you just might get a few watching this flick, because if you can't laugh at two white boys enthusiastically rapping N.W.A.'s "Straight Outta Compton" while driving a stolen vehicle, then you're dead inside.

FILM REVIEW: The Adjustment Bureau

This romantic sci-fi thriller is about a politician (Matt Damon) whose destiny gets off track when he falls in love with a ballerina (Emily Blunt). The Fates, here represented by suit-clad men (John Slattery from "Mad Men" and Anthony Mackie from The Hurt Locker) with dashing fedoras who can teleport through specific doors, have a book that shows what the politician and the ballerina are destined for--one to become the president of the United States and the other to become a legend in the world of dance. If they continue their affair, if they defy the Fates, their futures will never happen and the ripple effect could send the world into chaos.

The film poses many philosophical questions: What are you willing to do for love? Is there only one path to happiness? Is our life predetermined or do we truly have free will? But the two most interesting questions it asks are: If the only way to get what you want is to sacrifice something or someone you believe you can't live without, would you still do it? and Have we always had free will?

The second question is inspired by The Fates's mini-history lesson about the generations of which we've had control over our own fate versus the generations they've had control. Supposedly they were the masterminds who designed our paths during periods of creation and innovation, like The Renaissance, but we were the misguided fools who spearheaded periods of destruction and regression, like The Dark Ages. I think it's interesting that given that this film takes place in present day, they claim that this is a successful period, considering all of the natural disasters, ever-increasing amount of wars, and rampant poverty. It hardly compares to the Renaissance. But it makes an interesting point. What sparks a period like The Renaissance?

The first question has bounced around my head before. Sometimes I wonder, having been raised Roman Catholic, if the only way for a good thing to happen is for a bad thing to happen first. Did my high school friend Suni have to suffer the loss of both her parents just so she can find true love? Did my mom have to get in a car accident just so she can be freed of her burdensome job? Will I have to suffer some great trauma, whether it's the loss of my parents or a bout of unemployment, just so that I can fall in love or get my dream job? And, most importantly, am I willing to forfeit what I have for what I could have? It's like that classic "Price is Right" question. Will you settle for this brand new car or do you want to take a gamble on what's behind door number 2?

This film is, however, a romance. It propels the idea that love is the only thing you should aspire to, and the only reason we exist. And that maybe, just maybe, the Fates can be wrong if they dare to suggest that professional success is far more important than true love. There have been many other romantic stories that have been told in unique ways (i.e. The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind) that suggest that no matter the foreseeable tragic outcome of a relationship, one must pursue it nonetheless, because the answer to the question: Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? is Yes.

Despite the heavy philosophical questions and intense chase scenes, there are several light and funny moments during their courting, like in the scene where she says goodbye by playfully flipping him the bird. Blunt was more charismatic and enchanting in this film than she's ever been before, and she got to showcase some more of her impeccable comic timing. She also had great chemistry with Damon. His devotion to her wasn't at all unfounded or seemingly random as some romantic stories can be. The fact that he clicked on 757,000 links to find her alone was proof enough. He falls for her because she kept him on his toes and didn't pander to him like his constituents did. She ultimately inspires him to be a better politician--if such a thing exists. They complimented each other well.

While I truly enjoyed the love story, I was surprised that it didn't have more sci-fi lore and action. Instead it was like a rom-com that mutated into a sci-fi thriller, as if someone at the studio said, "What if two people keep crossing paths and fate keeps them apart..." and then someone else added "...and Fate wears fedoras, works for God, and uses magic doorknobs to catch up to them." Regardless, it makes for a good conversation starter.

FILM REVIEW: Josh Radnor's "Happythankyoumoreplease"

In Josh Radnor's screenwriting and directorial debut, a creatively blocked writer (Radnor), an Alopecia-afflicted self-sabotager (Malin Akerman from Watchmen), and a couple (Zoe Kazan from It's Complicated and Pablo Schreiber from "The Wire") torn between two coasts learn to accept what they have in order to appreciate what they could have. It's as much a lesson in gratitude as it is a lesson in growing up.

Radnor's character reluctantly and illegally adopts a lost child. I think he was so frustrated with not progressing professionally that he decided he would take on this responsibility just so that it counted towards some sort of progress. The responsibilities he was supposed to be tending to—writing his novel, conducting a normal adult relationship, etc.—were too difficult to tackle. So why not dedicate time to something that had no real affect on his future? He was very much interested in skipping the hard part of life, which could explain why he took so long to research legal adoption and why he suggested to the lovely Kate Mara (127 Hours), a young Julia Roberts, that they play house for a weekend as if they'd already covered all the awkward stages of a new relationship. He, like many of today's 20-30 somethings, was experiencing a quarter-life crisis, frozen in his youthful immaturity by a fear of failure.

His best friend Annie (Akerman) had an unexpected fear. Given her appearance and ailment, you'd think she would be self-conscious and insecure about dating, but she wasn't in the least. However, she did have a lack of self-worth. She kept allowing herself to date men who didn't appreciate or respect her: hot musician types. And as a result, she prematurely wrote off the good guys, who didn't exactly look like the lead singers in a band. It wasn't until she was forced to really consider a guy and realize what she could have versus what she thought she wanted that she finally realized her worth. She could either be cheated on and cheated with, or she could be adored. Her character told a story that explained the title and she was the best example of its meaning. Instead of rejecting the good fortune that the universe gives you, you should be Happy, say Thank You, and ask for "More, Please!"

The third storyline illustrated that lesson with an interesting dilemma that befalls many young couples who meet before they've individually reached their full potential. Kazan's character Mary wanted to stay in New York and Schreiber's character Charlie wanted to move to Los Angeles, and whoever conceded would end up resenting the other person. Once the comical NYC and LA bashing subsided, they started to reevaluate their relationship and determine if it was worth submitting to the other's request. A life-altering event forces them to make a snap decision and it's in that moment that they realize that it doesn't matter where they live because they should be so lucky (and so grateful) to have found each other.

The actors did a stellar job—Radnor chose well. Pablo Schneider left the biggest impression with his heartbreaking declaration of love, but Malin impressed me for the first time since I've seen her on film—and I've seen a lot of her films. She curbed the vanity and dove deep into self-doubt and self-loathing. Her love interest Tony Hale ("Arrested Development"), who is accustomed to playing dorky, unattractive men, actually managed to seem appealing with his smitten act as he begged her to consider him seriously. Meanwhile, Mara debuted a surprisingly sweet singing voice, and the little boy Michael Algieri was as precocious as the best child actors without seeming unrealistically adult.

For his first film, Radnor did a great job of capturing this stalled generation and New York's culture, evenly balancing comedy and drama. I liked it even better than Garden State. So if you're having your own self-doubts and you see your life spinning as others jet past you, you'll find comfort in these equally lost characters.