BEST OF 2011 TV: Best New TV Shows

"Shameless" (SHO)
Television tends to be a mirror of society. And while it may seem insane to think that there exists a family of six that con and steal their way out of each month's debt, because their alcoholic dad and flake of a mom can't be relied on, more of them exist than you can imagine. This series is unapologetically raw and intense. It'll make you laugh. It'll break your heart. But one thing you'll never do is judge, because you'll be too busy wishing you had the balls to survive their city and their life. Wishing you had the balls to jack a meat truck and turn your kitchen into a meat market, to break into your shoplifter's home and steal back the gun he took, to be so bold as to fall in love even though you've seen ample evidence as to the irredeemable nature of mankind. They make you want to be shameless.

"Revenge" (ABC)
Crime. Betrayal. Vengeance. Eternal love. The essential ingredients of this suspenseful nighttime soap that isn't diluted with goofy "Desperate Housewives" antics or inevitably inconsequential "Gossip Girl" revenge plots. It's instead inflicted with methodical scheming, decades of dormant rage, and a merciless mastermind. The writers have not only succeeded in creating a deliciously vindictive protagonist that viewers can root for, they also provided her with a formidable foe. Much like daytime soaps, the matriarch of the series goes to great lengths to protect her children from the world. But that's not the only component the series shares with soaps. The writers managed to take everything intriguing about a soap opera and make it darker. There might be secret gay lovers, con men, hitmen, husband-stealing best friends, long lost loves, and forbidden love, but it never seems over-the-top or melodramatic. And when it is, you crave it. At the beginning of the series, it was fun to wait and wonder how every little thing Emily did would eventually result in the destruction of one of her enemies. But now her airtight plan is starting to unravel, and it's become just as fun to see how quickly she thinks on her feet, how ruthless she is without giving herself enough time to come to terms with what she must do. Her determination is entrancing.

"New Girl" (FOX)
I'll admit. I was a bit quick to judge when I first saw this comedy series. I was especially hard on the resident douchebag Schmidt. However, in my defense, the series has changed considerably since the pilot. The token black guy (slash obligatory minority, after the "there's no black people in the 'Friends' universe debacle of '03") is played by a different actor and his character is less rage-driven. The douchebag jar is rarely used. Schmidt is considerably less unlikable. And Nick, the so-called love interest, isn't a basket case. The characters organically evolved the longer they became exposed to one another. Much like in real life, they took each other's advice and became better people for it. And while they grew and healed, they made me laugh my ass off. Honestly, of all the TV shows I wish I could step into Pleasentville-style, "New Girl" looks like the most fun. I wish I was there for whatever discussion led to them cooking a turkey in a dryer. I wish I was there to watch Jess try to pickup guys in a bar like a 1940s dame with her dress tucked into her underwear. I wish I was there to mess with Schmidt's Thanksgiving cooking "system." I wish I got roller skates for Christmas/Hannukah that I didn't know how to use but still decided to put on inside the apartment. And I definitely wish I was there to see Paul run and scream like a little girl when he found a dead old lady in the bathroom. These are heartwarming and hilarious moments you just don't get day-after-day in the real world. And they're with sincerely entertaining friends that are rarely as consistent in real life. That's why they're the new "Friends." Everyone who watches just wants to be apart of the gang.

"Suits" (USA Network)

There's this rumor that lawyers are the scum of the Earth. They lie, they manipulate, they coerce. They're criminals who know every loophole of the law. They're practically untouchable. As many legal procedurals there have been, including "The Good Wife," currently the best on TV right now, there has never been a series (to my knowledge) that's openly embraced the thrill of outsmarting another lawyer or dancing around the law. None that's openly manipulated the law for their own gain. "Suits" raises the stakes, because not only does it have two protagonists who are willing to break the law to do the right thing, but it introduces the possibility that all the good they've done can be undone by a single secret. That creeping thought makes every close call that much more suspenseful. And every case that much more interesting. The writers have also managed to spice up the way cases are won. Much like "The Good Wife," this series's lawyers think outside of the box and take unexpected chances. Perhaps it's misleading. No law career will ever be this fun. Unless of course the lawyer is a genius con artist who never went to law school. Then every day is an adventure.

"Episodes" (SHO)
British TV shows being adapted for American television has become so common that at this point it's just laughable. What makes it so funny is that there's pretty much a 98% guarantee that the series will suck. The creators of this series found the humor in that so appealing that they made an entire show about it. Relax. It's not like they're beating a dead horse. It's the premise, not a recurring joke. They've tapped into what it's like to be a creative foreigner who's seduced by Hollywood and all of its promises only to be rudely awoken by the reality of its inner-workings. As outsiders, we viewers, have heard rumors of development deals falling through or being cannibalized at the last minute. For the most part, we turn a blind eye until we see the final product. Exceptions to that rule are adaptations of beloved novels (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Hunger Games, The Hobbit, etc.) and unnecessary remakes (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Spider-Man, Superman, Oldboy, Ghostbusters, Footloose, Dirty Dancing, etc.). However, on occasion some Americans may have already seen the British version of a series and refuse to entertain the idea that an American version is even necessary, let alone can be done as well or even better. This series has fun with that belief, mocks American television, degrades American actors, and highlights the affect that Hollywood has on everyone—even intellectual imports. It's very much a series for fans of Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand, John Oliver, and every other foreign comedian who finds our society shockingly inept.

"2 Broke Girls" (CBS)

Many TV shows have logically integrated the current state of the economy into their storylines. The families on "The Middle" and "Raising Hope" spend every episode figuring out how to make due with less. The doctors on "Grey's Anatomy" faced budget cuts and mandatory downsizing. Both husbands on "How I Met Your Mother" and "Parenthood" struggled to find work in niche markets. And "Parks and Recreation" organized a huge fundraiser to save their department from becoming obsolete. But no series has managed to reflect how the economy is affecting the lives of young adults and recent graduates, until now. Without the financial support of their suddenly unemployed or economically anxious parents, or the promise of job security with every diploma, this generation has been forced to get creative with how they make their money. The traditional careers of doctor, lawyer, and teacher are no longer apart of the overall endgame. A lack of employment has surprisingly inspired a call for innovation, to not only supply consumers with the specific products they demand, from convenient apps to custom clothing, but also create jobs in the process. We're moving away from the generic and mass produced, and towards the artisanal. And this series is an interesting—while also often perverse, crass, and CBS-style goofy—look at the makings of an entrepreneurial endeavor. This is where it all starts. In the white ghetto of Brooklyn. At 2 a.m. Blood, sweat, and alcohol icing every single cupcake. One dime at a time. It's like an anthropological study with dirty jokes and hipster hateration.

"Up All Night" (NBC)

Back in the 00s, when shows like "Notes from the Underbelly" (2007) and "In the Motherhood" (2009) were testing the primetime waters for potential baby-centric TV shows after the success of Knocked Up and Baby Mama, I was onboard for parenting humor. I mean, who doesn't want to see two educated adults being driven crazy by a 10lb poop machine? Right? Right? Well apparently, America. That's who. Neither series made it. But it would appear that NBC learned from ABC's mistakes. Instead of focusing on the monotonous preparation of having a child or the quirky behavior of a group of moms, they grounded the series around this late-bloomers couple, who admittedly have no idea what they're doing but realistically handle every situation as any normal person would. There are plenty of parents who can't leave their kid alone with their insanely irresponsible friend. Plenty of parents who go apeshit with the Christmas decorations just to get a rise out of their kid. Plenty of parents who either feel like they're missing out on their kid's early years or are in dire need of a break from 24/7 baby duty. These are all relatable and yet realistically humorous scenarios that parents and future parents have and will experience. And what lures in those viewers who don't have baby-on-the-brain at the moment, besides the narcissistic and neurotic Ava's daily crises, is the underlying desire to stay cool even while driving a minivan and carrying a diaper bag. Because if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that we never want to be as lame as our parents. (Side note: My parents were never lame and I still want to be cooler.)

"Suburgatory" (ABC)

Narration has long been a common storytelling technique. You'll find it in various forms on "How I Met Your Mother," "The Middle," "Desperate Housewives," "Grey's Anatomy," "Gossip Girl," and technically "Burn Notice." And documentary-style shows like "The Office," "Parks and Recreation," and "Modern Family" use commentary as narration. But it's been a while since the narration has been done by a child. The best that I can remember are "Wonder Years" and "My So Called Life." Both of those shows were heralded for their intense look into the lives of adolescents and the tumultuous moments that were fueled by their "raging" hormones. I'm glad to see the trend returning with "Suburgatory." And I'm especially glad it's with the snarky, suburbs-hating, Daria-like character Tessa. It's one thing to tap into the whiny ramblings of a teenage girl. It's another when that girl is not only funny, but mature enough to be critical of the superficial and pathetic practices of everyday life. She's our id come to life.

"Pan Am" (ABC)

Trying to make the case that this is a feminist series about women who chose to travel the world and go on adventures instead of becoming trophy wives and stay-at-home moms may be a little far-fetched. The stewardess age limit, monthly weighings, form-fitting uniforms, marriage clause, and secretly acceptable sexual harassment sort of muddy that claim. But the series does succeed in capturing the time period, telling heart-wrenching backstories and love stories, and intriguing its viewers with Cold War espionage. I think if there was more sex and nudity or if the lead actors were all males, it would be a bigger hit. But I'm glad for once women are getting their stories told, that they're at the head of the action. Too often women are portrayed as passive and reactive. There's nothing realistic about women simply existing to chase men. Whether or not the series is canceled is still to be determined. For now, however, we can continue to enjoy the budding romances, the increasingly dangerous missions, and the everyday life of 1960s independent women.

BEST OF 2011 TV: Best Episodes

There are certain TV shows that we've always wanted to get into. The problem is if you watch the wrong episode—even if it's the pilot—it might not be the best representation of why the series is awesome. If you've never seen these shows, watch these episodes and you'll know why you should. Some of them are even Emmy-worthy. *Beware Spoilers*

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2 Broke Girls 
"And Hoarder Culture"
Max is filled with uncharacteristic giggly glee when she discovers real life hoarders. She nervously kisses Johnny's secret girlfriend, in an attempt to explain why she kissed him right in front of her. And Johnny coyly professes his love for her with graffiti.

Big Bang Theory

"The Good Guy Fluctuation"

Sheldon pathetically spends the entire episode trying to scare everyone, and his ultimate victory, popping out of the seat cushions, is quite gratifying.

"The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition"

Sheldon gets so jealous when Amy goes out with Stuart that he crashes their movie date and negotiates the terms of their exclusive relationship, becoming more territorial than ever before.

How I Met Your Mother 
"Last Words"
Marshall listens to the voicemail his father left him before he died and soaks in his last words.
"Mystery Vs. History"
Ted tries his hardest not to social-network stalk his date before seeing her to avoid visualizing her as a walking Facebook profile of pre-learned personal information. It was a very clever commentary on our current social behavior.
"The Stinson Missile Crisis"
Robin is the narrator for this episode, where she tells a very longwinded story to explain to her therapist why she has court-mandated therapy—so longwinded her therapist has to keep redirecting her back to the original story.

"Symphony of Illumination"
The episode opens with Robyn telling her own kids a story and by the end we discover that not only are those not her kids, but she can't have kids, she never even adopts, and she implies that she spends most of her life focusing on her career, which would suggest that she doesn't marry Barney. Most fakeouts are unappreciated and a waste of time, but this one was just sad. The episode ends with Ted promising Robyn that even if she doesn't have children or get married, she'll always have her friends, especially him, and then he unveils a Christmas lights show that he set up in their apartment.

Person of Interest
"Witness"
Reese and Finch helped a seemingly innocent schoolteacher evade the mob after he witnesses a hit. We inevitably learn that he not only performed the hit, he's the son of an imprisoned mob boss, and he's spent many years getting close to the children of his father's enemies so that he could learn everything about them and take over the town.

The Good Wife
"Executive Order 13224"
Elsbeth Tascioni returned to represent Alicia during an interrogation that involved a sensitive terrorist case. And the new associate Caitlin finds a creative way to figure out what was redacted on the government documents in their case. It was all-around clever lawyering.
"Parenting Made Easy"
Grace accidentally butt-dials Alicia too many times for her to consider it an accident, and in a panicked state, she runs all over the city trying to find her. Without being asked to, Kalinda finds Grace getting baptized in a church by a youtube evangelist, brings her home, and refuses to come in and take credit for it. Worried that such a scare was a punishment for her involvement with Will, Alicia breaks up with him and decides to simplify her life.
"What Went Wrong"
After learning that Kalinda was the one who found Grace, Alicia chews Cary out for gunning for Kalinda and arresting her for harassment, then forces him to release her. They thank each other and have a very quick but poignant moment. And, best of all, we discover that Wendy Scott-Carr did not in fact take Peter's job offer to investigate Lockhart & Gardner and find the judge bribery that he expects Will of, but to basically coerce and/or blackmail Will into helping her collect enough information to take Peter down. I've never wanted to hug a villain more than I did in that scene.

The Mentalist

"Strawberries & Cream"

Grace discovers her fiancee is a Red John plant, he tries to kill Teresa, and Grace is forced to kill him. Meanwhile, Patrick confronts a man he believes to be Red John and murders him in the middle of a mall. It was the most emotionally-driven action the series has seen yet.

"Pink Tops"

The only reason I love this episode is because someone finally made Cho uncomfortable. He's spoken to plenty of criminals who've tried to get a rise out of him before, but the only one who succeeded was a hooker-turned-CI named Summer. She makes him incredibly uncomfortable and I love it.

"Fugue in Red"

Patrick is drowned at a crime scene and wakes up as his former, pre-married, fake psychic, con artist self. He tries to flirt with both Teresa and Grace, toys with Rigsby and Cho, and steals from a crime scene. He's completely disreputable, but that's not what made it one of the best episodes of the year. It was the last two minutes when Teresa decided she needed to shock him back to reality before he reverted to his self-destructive ways. She brings him to his house where his family was murdered and shows him the room with the bloody Red John smiley face smeared on the wall. His shoulders slump and he becomes immobile, and all Teresa can say is "I'm sorry." You could just see the life drain right out of him and the Patrick Jane we're more familiar with returns. I don't think I realized just how broken he was until that moment.

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Community
"Remedial Chaos Theory"
During a board game controlled by the roll of dice, we're taken through several alternate realities that show us the different ways one scenario could've happened, and revealing secrets we otherwise wouldn't have known, like the growing affections between Brita & Troy and Jeff & Annie, Pierce's jealousy of Troy moving in with Abed, and Shirley's growing impatience with being ignored.
"Studies in Modern Movement"
The group tries to help Annie move in with Troy and Abed but things go awry when she becomes frustrated by their lifestyle. It isn't until they sit her down so that they can perform a puppet show they wrote just for her that she starts to feel at home. Later on, Annie joins in on the puppet show to reenact it for Brita and Jeff, and they enjoy it a LOT more than you think they would—to the point of crying.

Parenthood

"Clear Skies From Here On Out"

After Alex is cleared of all charges regarding the assault at the kegger he tried to pick Haddie up from, Alex breaks up with her. The best scene isn't when he dumps her or brings her home. It's when he apologizes to her mom Kristina for lying about his criminal background, sincerely laments not being apart of their family anymore, since he doesn't have one of his own, and hugs her goodbye. It was really sad to see him give all of that up, considering how little he has.

Parks and Recreation 

"Soul Mates"

Leslie tries an online dating service, but doesn't end up with a stranger as she suspects. Instead she's inexplicably paired off with Tom, who later reveals that he creates profiles for each type of desperate woman so he gets more results. He spends the entire episode pretending to be into Leslie and to get back at him, she kisses him and shuts him up for good.

"The Fight"

Tom debuts his new liquor, SnakeJuice, and gets everyone drunk. Drunk Ann and Leslie have their first argument, and most of it is hilariously nonsensical. Meanwhile, Ron is dancing around like a bobble head and it's probably the funniest drunk impersonation I've ever seen.

"Road Trip"

Leslie struggles to suppress her feelings for Ben when Chris sends them on a road trip together. He pops up to surprise them, and every time they get close, he interrupts. Back at the office, Tom uses his coworkers to try out a new game show to see how well they know each other, and Andy and April do horribly. Meanwhile, Ron educates a young girl on his views of "the importance of government," turning her into a mini version of him.

"The Bubble"

Ben meets Leslie's mother to Leslie's horror, and in the process of trying to introduce himself as Leslie's boyfriend somehow accidentally implies an interest in her and she comes onto him.

"Pawnee Rangers"

Leslie creates an all-girl wilderness group to rival Ron's all-boy wilderness group, and he soon learns that the boys of today are not as rugged as he'd like them to be. In the end, Leslie puts an ad in the paper that describes exactly what Ron is looking for and manages to attract Ron-like children who are game for absolutely no fun. Meanwhile, Tom and Donna try to teach Ben how to relax, resulting in him buying an extremely authentic-looking Batman costume—and putting it on.

"The Trial of Leslie Nope"

Chris takes Leslie to court, accusing her of using her relationship with Ben to bend the law. She fights for her reputation and wins, but ultimately it's determined that one of them will have to quit. Before Leslie can even think of the consequences, she's informed that Ben not only already resigned from his position hours ago, but he declared on the record that he loved her. She then makes the really old court reporter come to his house so that she can say on the record that she loves him too.

"Citizen Knope"

Leslie learns that the campaign duo that approached her last season to run for governor is no longer interested in backing her because her polling numbers are low. Meanwhile, her co-workers spend all day trying to make something for her to repay her for the sincerely thoughtful gifts she's given them over the years. To her delight, they build a gingerbread recreation of the office, and then inform her that they intend on being her campaign team, each with their own position and responsibilities. I haven't been this excited for an election since Obama '08 baby!!!

The Office

"The Search"

An emergency with CeCe forces Jim to abandon Michael at a gas station—without his phone or wallet—and Holly, Erin, and Dwight scour Scranton to find him. It was fun to see how well Holly knew Michael that she could find him so easily.

"Garage Sale"

Michael decides to ask Holly to marry him, and everyone helps him set up a tour of all their romantic moments in the office ending with a heavily candle-lit room that sets off the sprinklers, but nobody moves as they wait for her response. It made Pam & Jim's gas station proposal look as romantic as a bank transaction.

"Goodbye, Michael"

Michael decides to say his goodbyes a day early without telling anyone so that he can avoid the crying and overall drama. The only person who notices is Jim, and...okay now I'm crying...

"Spooked"

Dwight bonds with Robert's semi-sociopathic son, and you get the feeling Dwight would make a great dad—to a serial killer, but still.

Up All Night
"First Night Away"
Chris and Reagan attempt a romantic evening away, but it is their first time away from Amy overnight. When their sitter cancels at the last minute, Ava volunteers to step in. They of course don't trust her so they end up spying on her. Ava calls one of the single dads from the emergency contact list that she met while out with Amy after crusty food traps Amy in her highchair. Even though she's distracted by flirting with him, the minute she hears something in the backyard, she flips into protective mode, and proves she can be trusted. For a woman with seemingly no maternal instinct whatsoever, that was pretty sweet.

Whitney 
"The Wire"
Whitney and Alex argue about whether or not Alex uses a condescending tone. Whitney asks Mark for help catching him in the act with a hidden camera. Lily, Roxanne and Neal gather around the TV to watch the drama unfold. Later, Alex's brother Brian visits and Whitney discovers where Alex gets the condescending tone from. The best part is when the others go out to get food, Mark absent-mindedly lets Alex in, and completely forgets to cover the TV which is streaming footage from his apartment. I think I freaked out as much as he did.

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Fringe

"Subject 13"

During a flashback, we learn how resistant Peter was to believing Walter was his father at first, how Walter met Olivia, what kind of childhood she had, and just how strong her connection to Peter was. You get the feeling they're destined, and he had to cross a universe to find her.

"Lysergic"

William Bell's psyche is fighting to take over Olivia's body, so the actress has to not only act like a man but impersonate SpockLeonard Nimoy. It's a funny sight to see.

Glee
"Mash Off"
Finn gets tired of Santana's constant bullying, so he kind of outs her in the hallway. A candidate's daughter overhears, tells her dad, and he uses Santana's connection to Sue to insinuate that Sue is gay too. With his commercial, he'll out Santana to everyone in the city, including her family. After performing one of the best covers of the year, a mashup of Adele's "Rumor Has It" and "Someone Like You," she smacks Finn so hard everyone stops breathing, including the viewers.
"I Kissed a Girl"
Finn tries to make up for what he did and make Santana feel proud of who she is, so it becomes a female-appreciation episode. After a jock makes disgusting sexual advances towards Santana and suggests a three-way, she and Rachel sing Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl." But even though it all seems wrapped up nice and tight, the final blow comes when her grandmother disowns her. Instead of reverting back to her bullying ways though, she and The Trouble Tones agree to make peace with the New Directions, and they sing the beautiful K.D. Lang song "Constant Craving."
"Hold on to Sixteen"
We're treated to two amazing performances: The Trouble Tones's "I Will Survive/Survivor" mashup and the New Directions's Jackson Family tribute that starts with The Jackson 5's "ABC" goes into Janet Jackson's "Control" and ends with Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror." It was epic.

"Extraordinary Merry Christmas"
The glee club is asked to create a holiday special for a local PBS station and Artie outdoes himself directing a black and white tribute to old school Christmas specials. The songs aren't that amazing, but the production, taking us back in time and capturing the vibe of the period, was perfect.

New Girl
"Naked"
Jess and Schmidt make Nick self-conscious about his "little pooch where he puts his extra cookies" so he goes to his room and starts dancing to reggae music naked in front of a mirror, in order to pump himself up before a hot date. The music is too loud, so Jess accidentally walks in on him. He spends most of the episode trying to avoid her and the inevitable awkward conversation they'll have, and she spends it trying to apologize. In the end, she resolves to even the score by baring herself to him, but accidentally does so in front of his date.

"Thanksgiving"
Jess gets up the nerve to ask a fellow teacher Paul out on a date, and it just so happens to be on Thanksgiving. But the boys were looking forward to a relaxing day watching a football game topped off with Black Friday shopping. So Jess has to force them to get into the spirit of things. Schmidt takes over cooking, Cece tortures him with her unsanitary kitchen habits, Winston bonds with Paul, and Nick tries to avoid him at all costs. When the frozen turkey burns in the dryer (yes, I said dryer) and fills the apartment with smoke, they're forced to relocate to a neighbor's apartment...where they find her dead. Officially topping off the worst date ever.

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Castle
"Knockout"
The chief dies after revealing he was involved in the conspiracy surrounding the death of Beckett's mother, and at the funeral, Beckett is shot. As Castle cradles her, the music swells, everyone's screams drop out, and all you can hear is him repeatedly whisper, I love you Kate.
"Cops and Robbers"
Castle and his mom are being held hostage in a bank robbery, and his daughter Alexis blames Beckett for always putting her dad in danger. Alexis has always been pro-Beckett, so it was interesting to see her turn against her.

Grey's Anatomy
"Dark Was the Night"
Alex and Meredith are involved in a nerve-wracking car accident as they're trying to transport a pre-mature newborn in a highly flammable ambulance during a storm on a winding road. Meanwhile, even more suspense builds as Christina unknowingly operates on Teddy's husband and he dies. Her nonchalant attitude about the surgery and its fatal outcome, and greater interest in it not going on her record, are in stark juxtaposition with Owen and the chief's terrified caution. Once she realizes who the patient was though, she breaks down. Owen has the toughest job of all: keeping Teddy in the dark and lying about her husband's successful surgery until she finishes her tricky procedure.

Modern Family
"See You Next Fall"
It's a heartwarming episode as the whole family gathers for Alex's graduation. Her parents are trying to keep it together emotionally, while Mitchell keeps poking fun at Cameron for falling into a baby pool. Cameron is naturally outraged, but can't help but laugh when he sees Phil and Claire tumble down a hill, eagerly trying to get to the graduation.
"When Good Kids Go Bad"
Lily shows violent, antisocial, and somewhat homicidal signs of not wanting to share her daddies.

"After The Fire"
The family helps another family reacquire life's necessities after their house burns down. The boys wander off to play with the homeless kid's new remote control plane. The girls join Cameron when he volunteers to drive the moving truck, because he's hellbent on proving that gays can do all the same things as straight men. Alex proves she doesn't have to dress or look like Haley to get boys to like her, when she helps the boys get their toy back from nerdy bullies by using her nerdy feminine wiles. And after Jay hurts his back, Phil jumps at the chance to give him a massage. Jay enjoys it so much, he says I love you. Jay freaks out, worried Phil will blow it out of proportion, but doesn't realize that Phil's excitement and eagerness to talk to him is actually about a job offer that would involve him risking the family's financial security. Jay advises him like he would his own son and instills in him the confidence he needs to take a chance on himself.
"Express Christmas"
The family realizes they're all going to separate places for Christmas, so they try to have it early and prepare everything in a short amount of time. Claire and Haley bond at the mall as Haley taps into her impressive shopping skills, even tricking a shopper into giving her the last toy on the shelf. Manny freaks out about getting kidnapped on vacation and accidentally tasers Phil when he takes him to a shady parking lot to meet a baseball card seller. And Luke confesses that sometimes he doesn't understand if Gloria is saying "Luke" or "look" and they have a bit of a "Who's on First?" moment.

Revenge

"Pilot"

This is the episode where the tone is set and it becomes quite clear just how determined and ruthless lead character Emily Thorne/Amanda Clarke intends on being.

Rookie Blue

"Butterflies"

Andy is put in charge of a concert line and as she's chatting with a young girl, a bullet goes through her head. It happens so abruptly that you can sense the level of shock and horror that Andy is feeling. Later, Sam comforts her and they almost kiss.

Suburgatory
"Thanksgiving"
Tessa begs for George to uphold their Thanksgiving Day Manhattan traditions, but George refuses. Later, she gets Dahlia to take her to the city, she shows her all the fun stuff she can do in the city, and then they catch George making out with an unidentified chick. After she calls him on his anti-nyc bull, he agrees to take her to the city and squeeze in one tradition before the night is over. Earlier that day Lisa refused to dress up as a pilgrim as her mother instructed. In order to punish her, she raised the heat, resulting in her coming downstairs for dinner in the nude and then running outside to be free. Quickly realizing she could be arrested for public indecency, she hides in George's car. So when Tessa and George are driving to New York, she pops up in the backseat and surprises them.

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Gossip Girl
"Empire of the Son"
The climax of Dan and Blair's potential relationship is sealed with a passionate kiss.
"Memoirs of an Invisible Dan"
Dan sits everyone down to tell them about his novel and how he included characters that are somewhat modeled after them. Best of all, the person who is depicted the most lovingly turns out to be Blair not Serena, to Serena's surprise. Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!

The Secret Circle

"Masked"

The circle gets kidnapped and Cassie uses her inexplicably dormant individual power to kill their witch-hunter captor and free them. We get a glimpse of a potentially evil side to her and it's a glimpse of what's to come.

Vampire Diaries
"As I Lay Dying"
A lot of people die and almost die in this episode. It's the most high stakes of the series yet, and nothing unfolds as you expect it to.
"The End of the Affair"
There's a flashback to the 1920s to explain how Stefan as The Ripper met Klaus and his sister, and why Klaus has yet to kill him. Elena learns just how many people The Ripper has killed, and just how sadistic he was. And we learn that Caroline's dad is so hellbent on de-demonizing his vampire daughter that he would go so far as to torture her.

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Suits
"Pilot"
We're introduced to the impressive con artist that is Mike Ross, who finagles his way into a law firm after nearly getting nicked for a drug deal.
"Play the Man"
Mike has to go toe-to-toe with a fellow associate in a mock trial and in order to win he has to take down Rachel on the witness stand by playing on her insecurities, but instead of doing that, he spares her and essentially forfeits the mock trial.

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Leverage
"The Girls' Night Out Job" & "The Boys' Night Out Job"
Both episodes start the same way, but the girls lead all the action in one and the boys lead all the action in the other. But at the same time, each episode hints at the other group's job as if both episodes were happening at the same time. It was very well choreographed.

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Switched at Birth
"The Stag Hunt"
Desperate to communicate his interest in Bay, Emmett decides to just kiss her.
"Pandora's Box"
Bay yells at Emmett for possibly using her to get back at Daphne, and Emmett responds by just kissing her. As they spend more time together, Bay pushes him to speak instead of sign, and he refuses. Then after seeing a shrine to Daphne on his bedroom wall, she realizes how in love he was/is with her.
"The Homecoming"
Daphne finally tells Emmett how she feels and so he has to choose between her and Bay. After an argument where Bay realizes he knows how Daphne feels, Emmett speaks for the first time and professes his love to her.

hbo
Boardwalk Empire
"Ourselves Alone"
Margaret reveals just how devious her nature can be when she tricks agents into letting her into Nucky's office when he gets arrested, and manages to steal his incriminating ledger. Jimmy murders two mafia thugs after they jump him in New York. And Chalky shows how much power he has over the African American community when his cellmates spontaneously turn on another prisoner after hours of animosity and tension between them.
"Under God's Power She Flourishes"
Jimmy mourns Angela's death by getting high on heroine in a hotel room, and has a flashback that explains the incestuous reason he went to war and why he has such a disturbing relationship with his mother. When he returns, he finally stands up to her. And when the Commodore catches him trying to choke her to death, Jimmy kills him.

"To the Lost"
Jimmy subtly says goodbye to everyone. It's so subtle you don't realize it till the last five minutes when he tells Harrow to promise him he'll try harder to be happy. And then he voluntarily goes to his execution, knowing that Nucky's forgiveness was all talk. Everything we learned about Jimmy in the last two episodes—his reasons for enlisting, his damaged youth, and his insatiable desire for a father figure—gave us closure once his heart stopped beating. It was time he rested and be freed from his mother's death grip. (This is probably wishful thinking, but I hope Harrow kills the son of a bitch who murdered Angela and lured Jimmy out, and I hope he kidnaps Jimmy's kid and teaches him how to be an assassin, preferably with a time jump. I'd rather watch that than see that pathetic, disgusting, enterprising witch Gillian fatten yet another child for slaughter. She makes Lucy look like Mother of the Year.)

Entourage

"One Last Shot"

Vince tries to give a producer a second chance, discovers he's still an addict and tries to get him to turn his life around, only to witness his suicide. It's extremely intense for the series, but it was quite the cliffhanger.

showtime
Shameless
"Frank Gallagher: Loving Husband, Devoted Father"
Ian confronts Mickey after he steals Kash's gun, and discovers mid-brawl that Mickey has a major crush on him and they have sex. My favorite part is when he tries to kiss him goodbye and Mickey says, "Kiss me and I'll cut your fucking tongue out." Ever the romantic. (In a later episode, he says something similarly funny when Liam visits him in jail and tries to put his hand on the glass like they do in the movies: "Take your hand off the glass.")
"Nana Gallagher Had an Affair"
The kids fight to keep Liam in their family and each one's heart is broken as they confront their mother and her failures. And Karen's mom finally confronts her husband and has the courage to go outside just to kick him out.
"Father Frank, Full of Grace"
Lip has sex with Karen, tells her that he loves her mid-coitus, and then tries to take it back when she dumps him, swearing he didn't mean it. Then he discovers that she dumped him because she had sex with his dad and he flips out. He tries to run his dad over and kicks his ass, and only forgives him after making up with Karen and after Frank lets him pee on him. Given that Lip is usually quite passive, this much volatile emotion in one episode was very jarring.

BEST OF 2011 TV: Scene-Stealers

These are the best characters of the year, who kept us coming back every week—even if the show sucked:

Kat Denning's Max from "2 Broke Girls"

Think Roseanne...but hot. She's a saucy, vulgar waitress, who isn't afraid to call people on their bullshit and works overtime to hide her vulnerable side. She makes up one-half of a series duo that's like Laverne & Shirley meets The Odd Couple. It's rare that actresses get to play anything more than pretty, friendly, desperate, or neurotic, so it's refreshing to see the anti-social and anti-establishment youth of today represented during a time of recession and rebellion.
Best Scene: Any time Johnny makes her weak in the knees.

Maya Rudolph's Ava from "Up All Night"

What happens to an 80s one-hit wonder when you extend their five minutes of fame through an Oprah-like daytime talk show? They become a narcissistic, neurotic, fame-whoring ball of insecurity with no understanding of how to live modestly or interact with the middle class. Also referred to in the dictionary as "comedy gold." While the series is mainly about these late-bloomer new parents who are stumbling through parenthood, every episode Ava manages to amp the ridiculous meter up from a 2 to a 10. Whether it's getting into a ghetto argument with her ex-rapper boyfriend, trying to bribe her new boyfriend's daughter for approval, or lifting a baby sideways after she's done "talking" it into liking her. She's what we wish Oprah secretly was, but know Wendy Williams truly is when the cameras are off.
Best Scene: When she tried to babysit Amy, had to call a cute guy from the emergency list because Amy got trapped in the baby seat, then verbally threatens an unseen intruder when she hears a suspicious sound.

Zoe Lister Jones's Lily on "Whitney"

I'll be honest, if I hadn't seen Jones in the Tribeca film Stuck Between Stations this Spring, I would probably find her character incredibly annoying. But knowing that she's capable of heavy drama and snarky comic timing makes me impressed with her ability to slip into this bubbly, cheesy, girly, super enthusiastic character, who behaves rather amused by her own joke before she even says it.
Best Scene: When she tried to describe how she wanted her engagement party by...miming? Signing? Hippie dancing? I don't know.

Naya Rivera's Santana from "Glee"

Santana got the Kirk-treatment this year, a full-fledged subplot and more screen time than even some of the lead actors. And instead of wasting it with weak songs and tempered emotion, she sang and emoted just as passionately as she insulted. Unlike Sue Sylvester, she's not a one-dimensional villain who's only interesting to watch when she's exploiting the insecurities of her fellow glee clubbers. Santana has an off-switch, a soft spot, and a secret desire to be loved unconditionally.
Best Scene: When she sang the Adele mashup and slapped Finn for outting her.

Zooey Deschanel's Jess from "New Girl"

It's like she's from one of those body switching comedies where a child wakes up in an adult body--not-yet-trained in how to flirt and incapable of saying the word "sex" without giggling--except she has amnesia and she doesn't know the switch happened. However, Jess's main allure isn't that she's adorkable or naive. It's that she's unapologetically embarrassing. Nearly every episode she does something (in front of cute boys, no less) that any other insecurity-plagued, conformed-by-society's-standards girl would (probably literally) die of humiliation from. She might have a momentary realization that what she just did was spastic, but she doesn't back down. She may entertain the idea of flirting like a normal human being (versus using the phrase "Hey sailor!" on someone who isn't a sailor), but she never truly changes who she is. You can't ever squash her spirit. If there were a dork parade, she'd proudly be the Grand Marshall.
Best Scene: When she went off on Nick on Thanksgiving and explained all of the sexual things she wanted to do to her date, not realizing that EVERYONE was listening, including the date in question. 

Max Greenfield's Schmidt from "New Girl"

At first, this character seemed too douchey. So douchey his roommates made him contribute to a douchebag jar whenever he overdid it. Eventually, with Jess's influence, he became more lovable and less...mace-worthy. We started to see that while he attempted to be a womanizer, he was more abused by women than they were by him. His female coworkers mock him, his weddings-only fuckbuddy treats him like the girl in their relationship, and his dream girl, Cece, likes him best when he's angry at her, so she spent Thanksgiving doing everything humanly possible to piss him off. It's probably because he's not really all that manly, his backbone is like jello, and he's so sensitive I wouldn't be surprised if he had a menstrual cycle. He's like a battered puppy caged by lionesses. All of that unexpected vulnerability, coupled with his occasional whimpering voice, unsuccessful attempts at being cool, and often hilarious one-liners makes him a habitual scene-stealer.
Best Scene: When he stopped finding Cece attractive long enough to scold her for her unsanitary cooking methods and had NO clue she was flirting with him the whole time.

Allie Grant's Lisa from "Suburgatory"

This series makes all suburbanites seem like Rx-addicted, plastic drones with Stepford tendencies and superficial personalities. Anyone who's from the city automatically thinks they're a bunch of loons. Much like Tessa, we find comfort in the one normal human being in town, Lisa. Except Lisa isn't any more normal than her captors. It would seem that being held hostage by them has made her slightly insane. Her heightened reactions to the most basic forms of human affection, whether it's sympathy or generosity, are amplified by her big eyes and paranoid resistance. She kind of always looks like she just escaped from an insane asylum and can't find a way out of the never-ending maze of white picket fences.

Best Scene: When she refused to put on an "authentic" Thanksgiving pilgrim outfit, chose to run out into the street naked and hide in the backseat of Tessa and her dad George's car, only to freak them out later during their ride to the city. It would seem the mental patient finally escaped.

Emily Van Camp as Emily/Amanda from "Revenge"

Women are rarely devious masterminds on television. They're catty, vindictive, and/or obsessive, but they're rarely, if ever, maniacal geniuses who devise masterful plans to systematically destroy an opponent. They're also rarely if ever driven by anything other than a man or popularity. The last time a scorned woman brought hell upon her enemies in such a deliciously dramatic fashion was in the first season of "Gossip Girl." Blair Waldorf was a force to be reckoned with. She could take down a fellow classmate in the span of 24 hours with debilitating blows that no one saw coming. She has since retired to an ever-demeaning station of marrying for money. She's left the Queen B throne unmanned and it seems Emily Thorpe (aka Amanda Clarke) has taken a seat. Watching Emily in action is almost as suspenseful as watching a bullfight. Every blow is figuratively (and sometimes literally) bloodier than the last. She thinks so quick on her feet, and doles out punishments so swiftly that you almost hope someone crosses her again so that you can watch their downfall. All hail the Queen!
Best Scene: When she poisoned Conrad to give him a heart attack and catch Lydia outside of the motel where they were having their affair, and then pretended to accidentally reveal her betrayal to Victoria.

Casey Wilson as Penny from "Happy Endings"

She's a neurotic, delusional, desperate mess, but you've gotta love her. You love that she's desperate enough to become a hipster just to date one. You love that she's so desperate to date her high school crush that she befriends his teenage sister and joins her cult, I mean clique. You love that she only knows Italian when she's drunk and has to stay drunk just to be in a relationship with a hot Italian guy. But most of all, you love that she says ridiculously girly things like a-MAH-zing, despite her mature age and obvious grasp on the English language. She's like every desperate rom-com character that has ever been written and will be written, eager to find love and willing to do anything to get it.
Best Scene: When she tried to keep up the charade about being a certain age and being Jewish.

Adam Pally and Damon Wayans Jr. as Max+Brad on "Happy Endings"
Dynamic duos are a little hard to come by. Most shows focus on harnessing ensemble chemistry, and if any characters break off into pairs, it's usually with a romantic agenda, which is probably why the deep connection between two dudes is referred to as a bromance. Last year's bromantic couple were Abed and Troy from "Community." They're like siamese twins (and at one point they were actually siamese twins). This year, that honor goes to Max and Brad. Unlike Abed and Troy, it isn't about what they do together, but their comedic rhythm. The way they play off each other and score multiple laughs in one scene is electric, especially when the topic of race comes up. They push the envelope to a potentially racist degree and still get away with it. But what's most impressive is how open and honest they are about it. They don't ignore the elephant in the room. They put it on display in their three-ring circus, not afraid to address the jungle fever running through Brad+Jane's relationship or the obvious fact that most straight men (especially black men) are rarely if ever depicted on television as loving and accepting of a gay man. There was this quote going around Twitter a few weeks ago about homophobia and how it's basically the fear that a gay men will treat straight men the same way straight men treat women: like sex objects meant to be ogled and catcalled towards. Well Max is their worst fear come true. He does that and a whole lot more. Meanwhile, Brad is immune to those fears, accepts Max for the fun-loving slob that he is and sometimes acts even gayer than he does. I admire such evolution and boldfaced honesty. It's almost like it's the 22nd century.
Best Scene: When Max discovered that Brad secretly hung out with a black version of him.

Jeremy Allen White as Phillip "Lip" Gallagher on "Shameless"

Bad boys are like my bread and butter. And the smarter they are the better. Therefore Lip was a no-brainer. He's super smart, sarcastic, and utterly shameless. He'll rob you blind, con the education system, outsmart his elders, bullshit his teachers, and discredit your religious and political beliefs without breaking a sweat. But he's not one-dimensional. He doesn't live to condescend and buck the system. It's just his way of life. He has a soft side too. He's very sweet to his younger siblings, sensitive to his gay brother's steady coming out process, fearless when it comes to protecting him, and damaged beyond repair by his parents' abandonment. And sure, he's a manwhore who's in love with a slut, but he's also secretly a charmer and a romantic. He has too many layers to write-off.
Best Scene: When he accidentally tells his girlfriend Karen that he loves her mid-sex and then tries to take it back when she dumps him. He's so frantic and desperate, you can't help but feel for him.

Sam Huntington and Russell Tovey as Josh on "Being Human" (US/UK)
Whether he's British or American, I love Josh. He's the friendliest most apologetic werewolf I've ever seen. He's so selfless that he would quarantine himself from society—and essentially family and love—just to protect them. Damned to an eternity of living within the limbo of humanity and the supernatural, he still manages to be the show's comic relief. His panicked reaction to impending doom is like watching the spastic panic of Scooby and Shaggy. He's cartoonish, but relatable. After all, who wouldn't react frantically to the realization that there are supernatural beings inhabiting the Earth and now you're one of them? His naivete and attempts at rationalizing his way through irrational scenarios is endearing. You can't help but root for him.
Best Scene: Any time he tried to interact with the girl he's interested in, especially when he struggled not to murder her during sex.

Ashley Rickards as Jenna from "Awkward"

I remember how nerve-wracking high school was, whether I was taking a test, trying to make friends, or just trying to make eye contact with my secret crush. Every humiliation was epically scarring and molded me into the deformed human I am today. Needless to say, I get Jenna's pain. I know what it's like to have an insecure bitch bully me, a hot guy flirt with me only when no one's looking, and a decent guy step over his best friend to pursue me while I remain tragically oblivious to the fact. I am Jenna. And I know there are plenty of girls in a wide age range who feel the same way. She's the voice of a generation—an extremely dorky, humiliated generation.
Best Scene: When she drunkenly told Jake off and called him on his shit.

Jackson Rathbone as Nick from "Aim High"

A teenage spy has to juggle assassination assignments and the delicate courtship of an awesome girl he loves to verbally spar with. By day he charms her, impresses her via IM and text, and clarifies any unintentional slights, and by night he kills criminals for the government. It doesn't seem to phase him. He's like a young Jason Statham, chocked full of a healthy dose of insecurities.
Best Scene: Anytime he finds a clever way to escape death and still keep his cover.

TV PILOT REVIEW: SHOWTIME's "Shameless"

I've been meaning to watch this series for a couple of months now, but nothing ever enticed me to follow through. I heard it was about this white trash family, and that wasn't exactly a selling point. But it stars the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning William H. Macy and the Golden Globe-nominated, classically trained singer Emmy Rossum, so I thought it was at least worth a look.

But nothing could've prepared me for the awesomeness that is this series. It's like:

"Malcolm Middle" (rambunctious kids) x "The Middle" (middle class income) x "Weeds" (criminal family business) x "The United States of Tara" (unreliable parent and homoerotic exploration) = A dysfunctional, poverty-stricken family, who resort to unorthodox, and sometimes criminal, methods in order to survive. 

Those shows I just mentioned are a fraction of what this show is in both content and quality. This family makes their's look like amateurs. They con and manipulate their way through life so easily and at such young ages that you just can't believe what you're witnessing—and can't help but wish you were as clever.

*spoilers ahead

Each episode you get to know The Gallaghers a little better. And with every knew discovery, you love 'em even more. Macy plays the patriarch Frank, an alcoholic degenerate who relies on disability checks and the kindness of a sex-addicted agoraphobic housewife (Joan Cusack) who dotes on him. He's such scum that he tried to sell his black baby to his ex-wife and her lesbian lover so that he can get her to sign a fake disability claim. He's such scum that he screws one of his son's girlfriends while high on Oxycontin. He's such scum that next season he will actively try to scare his agoraphobic girlfriend back into the house so that she won't stop catering to him. But none of this should be a surprise. After all, he did dump the responsibility of supporting his five children on his 19-year-old daughter two years ago. That's Fiona (Rossum).

She's a saint with a sailor's mouth. She would do anything for her siblings, including forfeit the possibility of true love and any sort of freedom for at least 16 years. She'll take any job, even ones that degrade her self-esteem, and endure any sort of neighborhood criticism if it makes them happy. Life has hardened her a bit. Made her skeptical and untrusting of everyone, especially men. And she'll now probably distrust them even more after the possible love of her life, the secretly rich, car-stealing, medical-school dropout Steve (Justin Chatwin) was blackmailed into the leaving the city by the cop who has a crush on her. But in the hands of her siblings, she melts.

She's not alone though. For the most part, they pull their own weight. One thing you can't deny about the Gallagher's, it's that they're a resourceful bunch. The eldest boy, Phillip aka Lip (Jeremy Allen White), is the smartest—so smart he takes SATs for kids all over the city for a sizable profit. But he's no nerd. He's the resident bad boy, who'll take a beating for his brother from the baddest kid on the block, and even take the fall for him in a car theft charge. Of course, he's not all bravado. The abandonment and neglect instilled by his parents have lowered his self-esteem to the point that he believes someone as disturbed and slutty as his quasi girlfriend Karen (Laura Wiggins) could possibly be "The One." Not that he would ever call her that or admit to that.

Ian (Cameron Monaghan) is his secretly gay little brother, who sleeps with his married Muslim boss and his beard's thuggish brother who shoplifts from his store. He's a sweet redheaded kid with a healthy sexual appetite, and an inexplicable desire to join the Marines, to his big brother's dismay.

Debbie (Emma Kenney) is the youngest girl, who seems far more responsible than the rest. It's probably because she's like 11 or something and isn't at screwing or smoking age. But I like to think that her UNICEF-scamming, police-conning, coupon-clipping, background-checking schemes are a sign of her innate intellect. Which basically means that when she gets into her teen years, she's going to be a handful.

But no more of a handful than that little 9-year-old sociopath Carl (Ethan Cutkosky), who spends his days attacking his classmates and teachers, melting his toys together, microwaving live animals, and setting fires. He's like walking contraception with adorable eyes. Almost as adorable as his baby bro, the two-year-old Liam (played by twins Blake and Brennan Johnson). He doesn't do much besides crawl everywhere, even outdoors, and giggle, but his random blackness adds even more humor to their situation. Also contributing to the comedy are the other supporting characters, their helpful neighbors: the often-naked, medically-adept internet-porn star Veronica (Shanola Hampton) and the often intolerant goofball bartender Kevin (Steve Howey).

Their makeshift family dynamic, the creative ways they get out of jams and make money, and the heartbreaking hardships they endure make this series worth watching and worth rewarding. However, I understand that it's not original, considering it's a remake of a British series by the same name. But I like how seamless and normal it seems for these American children to drink, smoke, and have sex without any hesitation or—as the title would suggest—shame. This is how the reimagining of "Skins" should've been done. Unapologetic, not crass.