Monday, May 21, 2007

TV: NEW Shows - Fall 2007 Schedule

NBC
"Journeyman" (Monday, 10 p.m.): This sci fi drama about a man who involuntarily travels through time comes on after "Heroes"--stealing the cancelled "Studio 60" time slot--and mooches off of that rambunctious Hiro's sudden stardom and the overall sci fi trend. The main character faces the moral dilemma of having to decide whether he should save two people who died in the year he keeps returning to. From the trailer, I surmised that one is his first wife and the other is his brother. He's also faced with the task of following one specific guy and changing the course of his life.

"Chuck" (Tuesday, 9 p.m.): The show follows a guy who accidentally receives and memorizes top secret gov't information in an email that opens into a rapid image file. It's sort of an Employee of the Month meets Mission Impossible--if that doesn't terrify you. What will make or break the show is how well the lead actor, Zachary Levi ("Less than Perfect"), delivers this quirky action show. It's only real competition was "Veronica Mars," which might be cancelled if the writers don't deliver a banging script for next season by June.

"The Bionic Woman" (Wednesday, 9 p.m.): This is a revamping of the popular 70s show that followed a technologically enhanced woman who suffered from a horrible accident. Technically, if you're watching "Smallville" right now--Lex made himself a super soldier--, then this won't seem at all bizarre to you. The press is enjoying the first look at the new show. I'm not sure about the lead newbie, Michelle Ryan, a 23-year-old Brit. But after watching the clip teaser, I'm definitely excited to see what she'll do next. Since it's going up against the CW's "One Tree Hill," it won't get very many teen viewers. But I'm sure those rabid comic fans will tune in every week.

"Life" (Wednesday, 10 p.m.): an ex-cop returns to the police force as an ex-con. Naturally, he'll have an inner Jekyll/Hyde battle--constantly being reminded that he was once on the other side of the bars. His battle is lightened by the fact that he has an offbeat sense of humor, a no-nonsense female partner, and he keeps spouting proverbs, answering questions with meaningless sayings just to annoy people--and soon me. NBC is brave to pit this new show up against ABC's "Lost." Even if it's down in its ratings, it has a cult following that probably won't be lured away by a crime dramedy. I mean, with shows like "Monk," "Psych," "Dead Zone," etc., you can't half ass your way through a primetime show.

"The Great American Singing Bee" (Friday, 8:30 p.m.): You know when you have a song stuck in your head, but you can't remember the words and it bugs you all f*ing day? Well, this is a game show where the contestants recall the lyrics to a song when given just a snippet. The funniest part of this concept is that if someone misses out on a billion dollars cause they couldn't remember the rest of the words to "Hit me baby one more time" they will never be able to hear that song again without crying--as if Britney hasn't caused enough trouble.

"Lipstick Jungle" (Sunday, 10 p.m.): From the creators of "Sex in the City," this female-driven dramedy hasn't gotten rave reviews yet. But Sunday night might become ladies night if viewers switch over to NBC after watching "Desperate Housewives," instead of switching to HBO for the adorable antics of "The Entourage"--that's right, you've lost your edge and I'm calling you adorable. Instead of following four successful women "uncharacteristically" looking for some action--like we don't have libidos just because we don't hump someone's leg when we like them--, the show follows three of the most powerful married women in the city who are trying to balance both sides of their hectic lives. Brooke Shields is Carrie, Lindsay Price is Charlotte, and Kim Raver is Samantha and Miranda all rolled into one. If you watch the clip, you'll see they say, "They're not looking for Mr. Big. They are Mr. Big," which I thought was pretty cool. Out with the old, in with the new.


ABC
"Sam I Am"
(Monday, 9:30 p.m.): Okay, if you watch "Grey's Anatomy" then you know about the amnesiac who has spent weeks in the hospital with no memory of who she is. Her own personal doc, Alex, tests her to see if anything triggers a memory. So, in theory she's investigating her identity. That's what this comedy is going to be about. The best part of it is that it's Christina Applegate's return to TV. However, competing with "Heroes" might be its downfall.

"Cavemen" (Tuesday, 8 p.m.): Because of this generation's constant addiction to outlets like MySpace and YouTube, the network execs have brilliantly decided to turn the cult-fave GEICO commercial into a comedy about cavemen who are discriminated against because they didn't evolve physically like everyone else. (Geico must be loving this.) It's an underdog comedy with a snarky attitude. Just as long as no one thinks we want a TV show with the Mac (Justin Long) and the PC guy, everything will be okay.

"Carpoolers"
(Tuesday, 8:30 p.m.): First off Jerry O'Connell ("Crossing Jordan") and Faith Ford ("Hope and Faith") are the most notable actors in the show--which isn't saying much. Secondly, the clip I linked to shows four married men groaning about their wives and money issues, which probably won't fair well with the mainly female demographic that ABC caters to. Lastly, it just wasn't funny.

"Pushing Daisies" (Wednesday, 8 p.m.): In the fashion of "Medium" and "Ghost Whisperer" and every other show where someone talks to the dead, this show follows a guy, Lee Pace (The Good Shepherd), who can touch the dead and bring them back to life for 60 seconds, long enough to rat out who killed them, so he and his detective friend, Chi McBride (Gone in 60 Seconds--how ironic), can build a case against them. It'll need a romance angle for it to last even a season, kinda like its competition "Bones" has. It'll also have to fare against "America's Next Top Model." If Pace can tear ladies away from that, he'll deserve a metal.

"Private Practice" (Wednesday, 9 p.m.): If you didn't catch the 2hr sneak peek during "Grey's Anatomy," go to abc.com and check it out. It's funny. It's girly. It's less depressing than "Grey's." Hopefully "The Bionic Woman" won't steal its thunder.

"Dirty Sexy Money" (Wednesday, 10 p.m.): is a dramedy that's like the Godfather if "the family" were run by a politician and if the lead character was the lawyer.

"Big Shots" (Thursday, 9 p.m.): literally a bastardization of "Sex in the City," if men were to tap into their emotions more and talk about them while half naked and sweaty. Starring: Michael Vartan ("Alias"), Dylan McDermott ("The Practice"), and Christopher Titus ("Titus").

"Women's Murder Club" (Friday, 9 p.m.): The story follows four women who investigate crimes together, combining their professional expertise in order to expedite the process, since most crimes take months or years to solve. "Law and Order" vet Angie Harmon is the lead, playing a lieutenant. Her allies are a medical examiner (Paula Newsome, Reign Over Me), a newspaper reporter (Laura Harris, "Dead Like Me"), and a young assistant district attorney (Aubrey Dollar, "Point Pleasant"). In spite of the horrible title--it's isn't a club so much as a team; it's not like they're doing this for fun--it has a sliver of potential to last a few episodes.

"Cashmere Mafia" (Midseason Replacement: Tuesday, 9 p.m.): Now this could possibly, maybe, perhaps fare well in emulating "Sex in the City." It's four semi-young women depending on each other to succeed in business. At the helm is a much more docile and feminine Lucy Lui. She's usually a firecracker, like Ling Woo ("Ally McBeal") or a vengeance seeking hottie, like Grace Chin ("Ugly Betty"). By her side are: Miranda Otto (War of the Worlds), Bonnie Sommerville ("Kitchen Confidential"), and Frances O'Connor (Timeline).

"Eli Stone" (Midseason replacement): A cutthroat lawyer (Jonny Lee Miller, Trainspotting) has what psychiatrists would call a mid-life crisis, but ABC chooses to call a spiritual awakening. He suddenly begins to care about his cases a la Liar, Liar and begins to have hallucinations of celebrities singing to him and dead people appearing out of no where. All of this somehow leads him to the decision to start his own law firm that caters to the underdog, so he can undo all his wrongs. Because karma brought back his high school girlfriend, maybe more will bring him a better life.

"Miss Guided" (Midseason replacement): This is like every crazy person in "Arrested Development" shoved into a ex-high school geek turned guidance counselor with an agenda of "helping" kids through their rough years. It only takes one minute of that clip to realize she has no idea what she's doing and that every single piece of advice that she gives will be ridiculous. It could work.


CBS
"The Big Bang Theory" (Monday, 8:30 p.m.): This is a comedy about two physicists (Johnny Galecki and Jim Parsons) with a hot blonde (Kaley Cuoco) for a roommate. As you can imagine one of them (or all of them) will fall in love with her and there'll be a romantic subplot. But mostly there'll just be humiliating geek-outs and dumb blonde moments. And this is what they cancelled "The Class" for.

"Cane" (Tuesday, 10 p.m.): This is a drama about a Cuban family that runs a rum business with aspirations of running a more lucrative business--even if it's illegal. It's the first Hispanic driven drama that's not on Telemundo. Cast: Hector Elizondo (Princess Diaries), Jimmy Smits ("The West Wing"), Nestor Carbonell ("Lost"), and Rita Moreno. It be great if maybe they could find a Cuban actor to add to the authenticity.

"Kid Nation" (Wednesday, 8 p.m.): Jamie Kennedy abusing children. Just watch the clip. No words.

"Moonlight" (Friday, 9 p.m.): A guy gets married and his wife loves him so much that she turns him into a vampire. He's not too excited about it. So, he decides to become a private investigator...you know, so he could work at night. In his free time, he falls in love with a mortal woman. Essentially, it's "Angel" without the apocalypse (yet) and without smoking hot David Boreanaz. Friday night is pretty uneventful so it might suffer ratings wise.

"Viva Laughlin" (Sunday, 8 p.m.): It's like "Las Vegas" if it were inpsired by a BBC dramatic musical called "Blackpool." This must be the result of our sudden enthusiasm for musicals like Dreamgirls, High School Musical, and now Hairspray. But if you watch the clip that I link to and several other clips available on Youtube, you'll see that their musical integration is so juvenile that it could only work if they did it once a show...so there wouldn't be so much fast fowarding.


FOX
"K-Ville" (Monday, 9 p.m.): Boldly going up against "Heroes," this Fox show attempts to market heroes of its own, pulling on the heart strings connected to Katrina. This New Orleans based drama follows two police officers--one who prides himself on not abandoning the city like many other officers did (some even during the storm) and another who chose to turn his life around if he survived. Together they must battle the increasing crime rate and the dirty politicians who are trying to capitalize off a city's suffering. Opting for a new genre, Anthony Anderson (King's Ransom) delves into a grittier role, mooching off the success of Miami Vice, opposite Cole Hauser (Paparazzi) and Tawny Cypress ("Heroes").

"New Amsterdam" (Tuesday, 8 p.m.): Danish actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Kingdom of Heaven) plays a cop who is immortal. Hundreds of years ago he was cursed to never age until he finds his one true love. In the mean time he hunts down criminals using his unlimited knowledge that he's gained over the centuries and cheats death at every turn. It's a new take on the cop drama genre that puts all of its cards on how many ladies swoon for the romantic angle and how many guys stick around for the heroics.

"Back to You" (Wednesday, 8 p.m.): Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Heaton pair up to be co-anchors on a news show. Don't get any ideas. This isn't SNL's Weekend Update. It's more like Grammar being an egotistical spotlight stealer and Heaton trying to grip onto her dignity as tightly as possible and not be swallowed up by his shadow.

"Canterbury Law" (January): This show is basically a rip off of "The Closer" except the lead no-bullshit female character (Julianna Margulies, "ER") is a lawyer instead of a cop. And she doesn't have all those Southern manners to hold back her ferocity and underhanded tactics. If they went head to head, I'd fear for Kyra Sedgwick's well-being.

"The Return of Jezebel James" (January): It seems Parker Posey is looking for some steady work. She'll be starring in this comedy as a businesswoman who learns she's infertile. So, she decides to ask her younger sister (Lauren Ambrose, "Six Feet Under") to have her baby. Posey is hilarious. I trust she'll deliver at least a few laughs. Hopefully she'll be as successful as Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("The New Adventures of Old Christine").

Other FOX shows here


CW
"Gossip Girl" (Wednesday, 9 p.m.): It's true. If you loved "The O.C.," you just might get hooked by this teen drama. Talk. About. Drama!!! If you're unfamiliar with the series of books (like I am), then here's the plot: a bunch of rich kids and of course kids from the "other side of the tracks" party hop, sleep around, and have serious relationship issues that's all chronicled by an anonymous blogger that everyone reads. Blake Lively (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) plays the Marissa-equivalent, while Penn Badgley (John Tucker Must Die) plays a mix of Ryan and Seth--he's aloof and poor, but he's also a dork and practially invisible. The bitch and a-hole of the show are Leighton Meester ("Surface") and Chase Crawford (The Covenant). They make any enemy the O.C.ers had look like amateurs. As long as they humanize the characters, it might last.

"Reaper" (Tuesday, 9 p.m.): This show follows a kid who finds out on his 21st birthday that his parents sold his soul to the devil and he has to be the grim reaper and bring escaped souls back to hell. It sounds funny...and it's supposed to be. It's not a drama, but a comedy...which is why the action sequences seem a bit out of place. I give it maybe two episodes.

"Hidden Palms" (Premieres on May 30th): A clean-cut, tight ass teenager (Taylor Handley, "The O.C.") turns into a lost soul when his father kills himself right in front of him...no seriously, inches away while he's doing his homework. Naturally he is disturbed and saddened and doing drugs and so on and so forth. Dammit, if you saw "The O.C." watch it.

"Aliens in America" (Monday, 8:30 p.m.): A teeange exchange student from Pakistan moves in with an American family with a teenage son (Dan Byrd, A Cinderella Story). Apparently, they "ordered" an exchange student and got a "terrorist." This is most certainly every American's psychotic paranoid fear complete with voice over.

"Life is Wild" (Sunday, 8 p.m.): "Drama about a New York veterinarian who moves his second wife and their two sets of children to a South African game reserve run by his father-in-law." I think it's supposed to be "7th Heaven," if you subtract God and add wild animals.

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