FILM: Live Free or Die Hard Review

***1/2

What has been thought of as the template for action films headlined by tough guys with badges, has once again lived up to its legendary status. Every stunt had jaws dropping, bodies flinching, and catcalls escaping from shocked viewers. McClane's blue-collar, philosophical banter and gut busting laughs reminded us of a familiar hero. Rugged and worn, Bruce Willis successfully revived a character he hadn't portrayed in 12 years, presenting him in the very manner we expected him to appear. He graciously fit snug in the position of the old guy who not only schools you on the benefits of outdated and low tech resources, but makes the Terminator look like a geek. Speaking of which, this film was crawling with Star Trek loving, pocket protector owning, basement dwelling dorks, cleverly including the underdog that McClane usually alienates. Justin Long provided the perfect yin to his yang.

However, there were a few too many instances where Long acted as the proverbial "yes man," constantly in awe of Willis, uttering phrases the audience was thinking, like "Did you see that?," which McClane responds with "Yeah I saw it. I did it." Action movie dialogue is never usually ingenious, but this was just an insult to our intelligence. Die Hard, the first of the films, was originally immortalized by McClane's profane, but catchy, tagline, "Yippee kayay motha f*cka." Unfortunately, despite McClane's constant sarcasm and belittling comments, even in this film no other one-liner moments could top the one in which he reuses his old favorite. (I have to say it's the best non-CGI stunt he's ever done.) The only line of the film that has the biggest shot of going down in action movie history is a response to Long's exclamation of: "You just killed a helicopter with a car," in which McClane responds with: "I was out of bullets."

Of the rest of the supporting cast, there are six important characters. The bad guy, Timothy Olyphant (Catch and Release), tried his best to beat the villains of Die Hard's past. But as far as I'm concerned Alan Rickman (Harry Potter) will always be the most memorable. He was a slimy, European know-it-all with just as many good one-liners as McClane. He was a worthy opponent, while Olyphant was just a pretty boy throwing a hissy fit. Jonathan Sadowski acts as Olyphant's go-to hacker. After playing a meticulously groomed gay guy in She's the Man, it was interesting to see Sadowski forfeit a possible career in selling his body like Jesse Metcalfe ("Desperate Housewives") for a more rolled-out-of-bed, never-showered look. Maggie Q (Mission Impossible 3) played Olyphant's bad ass girlfriend who was stereotypically Asian. Not only did she know ka-ra-tay, but she knew her way around the world wide web without breaking a sweat. She didn't do so bad for what I believe to be Willis' first female opponent. But his real competition was obvious to anyone who's seen the French action film District B-13. Cyril Raffaelli is an amazing French stunt coordinator who's skilled in karate, wushu, and parkour. The moment I recognized him I knew his fight with Willis was going to be sick. Hopefully, this'll jump start his foray into more American action films. And just to clarify (since my bff was mistaken), he doesn't use wires.

Holding up the girl power end would be McClane's spitfire daughter, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who unsurprisingly learned a few things from good old dad. She could definitely dodge being pegged as the girl-next-door if she keeps going after roles like this. Lastly, the most unexpected cameo came from Kevin Smith, who obviously has been taking commercial parts (Catch and Release and TMNT) just to fund future personal projects (Red State, etc.). Nonetheless, he amps the geek factor to a comfortable level to balance all the testosterone that Willis shells out. I have to warn you. If you have a crush on Long, you might lose some respect for him, since his part literally could've been played by a girl.

Now, what makes a good film must always be determined by three factors:
1) Will you recommend it to your friends (and therefore admit that you actually saw it)?
2) Would you want to see a sequel (or are secretly dying for one)?
3) Would you watch it again (until the DVD starts to skip)?

And my answers to these questions are:
1) I'll only recommend it to Die Hard fans who love McClane.
2) I'd only want to see a sequel if Long, Winstead, and McClane's son--who was given the shaft in this installment--are brought into the mix.
3) Those stunts most definitely deserve a couple replays.