FILM: New in Theaters - 5/9/08

While many children will be strapped into theater seats to see the action CGI flick Speed Racer, about a teenage race car driver who's blackmailed into competing in a dangerous race, their moms will be ogling Ashton Kutcher's goodies in What Happens in Vegas.... The last time he did a romantic comedy, A Lot Like Love, it only made $21 mil, and the last time Cameron Diaz was funny--to me--was in 2003's Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, which grossed $20 mil shy of its budget. What are the chances that together they'll debut higher than Made of Honor or Baby Mama? In the film, Diaz plays an uptight jilted lover who goes to Vegas to work out her angst and Kutcher plays a jobless slacker who goes there to sulk. They drunkenly marry and immediately attempt to get it annulled, but then Kutcher wins millions at a slot machine with her coin and the bickering begins. They are ordered by a judge to stay married for 6 months and work things out, but instead they torture the crap out of each other. How romantic?

If I were going to the movies this weekend, I'd opt for something a little more interesting than these two options. The Fall, starring Lee Pace ("Pushing Daisies"), is a adventure drama about a suicidal stunt man who is confined to a hospital bed and opts to bribe a little girl with a fantastical tale about 5 mythical heroes if she gets him more drugs. The tale comes to life in a dramatic and beautiful way that could have only been done by Tarsem Singh (The Cell).