FILM REVIEW: Watchmen

CHARACTERS
• Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) was the only Watchmen of the newest generation to completely sell out. He revealed himself to the public so that he could become the Lex Luthor of the 80s. He's extremely fast and strong, and supposedly the smartest man in the world.

• Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) was transformed by a nuclear science experiment that basically made him a naked, man-shaped ball of energy that can move things telepathically, see into his own future, show people memories and visions, and teleport people and objects. He has a God complex and doesn't really feel any connection to the human race.

• Night Owl (Patrick Wilson) was a tech-geek who has owl-vision goggles and an owl-themed plane called Archie. He retired from the superhero business after he felt unwanted by the people. It rendered him impotent and he could only perform after he put the suit back on. He's also madly in love with the young Silk Spectre.

• Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman from The Heartbreak Kid and 27 Dresses) is...a hot girl who can kick ass. She's in love with Dr. Manhattan, but settles for the less complicated Night Owl.

• The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is actually the iconic Neanderthal, a Hustler-loving, whisky-drinking, cigar-smoking brute who has no qualms about hitting, murdering or sexually harassing-women, and is deluded enough to believe that raping the woman (Carla Gugino as Silk Spectre) he is in love with is a smart idea. But at the end of his life, he was quite remorseful.

• Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) is a private investigator who wears an ink-covered cloth over his head that appears like an ever-transforming inkblot. He calls the mask he wears his face, so much so that when he's arrested and they take it away, he screams "Give me back my face!" He's the first to question the mysterious murder of the Comedian. By day he poses as a hobo carrying a sign and by night he investigates his murder.


FAVORITE PARTS
• The former Night Owl (Stephen McHattie) works with "obsolete models," a nod at his feeling of displacement.

• I loved the part when Rorschach told a child murderer, "Men get arrested; dogs get put down!"

• My favorite visual trick that Zack Snyder (the director) did was during Rorschach's prison break. He went into the bathroom to kill a dwarf thug, ironically named Big Figure, and the camera slowly eased closer so we could peak through the door as it progressively swung slower. It eventually closes and Rorschach comes out with a flushing sound. For a few seconds, you assume he only roughed him up, until you see the blood spill out from under the door like water. For a film that shows so much violence, it's incredible when it leaves things to the imagination.

• Dr. Manhattan tried to profess his undying love by telling Silk Spectre that her birth was like "turning air into gold." Honestly, it's better than what most romantic declarations sound like.

• I love the happy face crater left on Mars when Dr. Manhattan and Silk Spectre departed. Nice touch.

• It was interesting how he put Mad Max and Flash Gordon on the TVs in the background of Ozymandias' lair.

• I love the part when Ozymandias said, "I'm not a comic book villain," scoffing at the idea that he would ever tell them his master plan if he thought they could stop him.

• With his new value of life, Dr. Manhattan endeavors to go to a different planet and create life. I wonder what he'll create.


ERRR...
• I could've done without the antelope zebra siberian tiger concoction.
• I wish we could've seen more cities destroyed. It's not that I wish destruction on any other city, it's just DC and New York are the most demolished cities in film, so I would've liked to see what a broken Eiffel Tower looks like.
• Oh yeah, and I think I could go a lifetime without ever seeing a blue penis again...while sitting next to my father...for two and a half hours. Thank you very much!


TWISTS (spoilers)
• The Comedian ends up being Silk Spectre's dad. He didn't succeed in raping her mom, but she eventually submitted to him.

• The Comedian may have been the most immoral superhero you'd ever meet, but when he was faced with the task of murdering millions of people in several major cities, he refused, which is why Ozy killed him.

• I love that Rorschach had principles--"never compromising in the face of Armageddon"--and refused to go along with Ozymandias' plan, so much so that he submitted to death at Dr. Manhattan's hand, taking off his mask (dying as himself--nice touch), and leaving an ink blot blood stain in the snow.

• Ozymandias' plan of framing Dr. Manhattan was genius. What better way to make two enemies stop aiming at each other than to give them a different target--a common enemy. While technically it is a noble endeavor to take on the responsibility of sacrificing millions to save billions, it's still the same philosophy that fuels war--soldiers die so that we may live--which is not a philosophy that I share. However, in the end, the truth was that the world didn't need heroes, it needed an incredible villain, and Dr. Manhattan--a cryptic and untouchable figure--was the best.