Tuesday, May 05, 2009

TV Recap: "Gossip Girl": The Bitch is Back

While we were watching "Gossip Girl" last night, some of the GGers were busy strutting their stuff on the couture carpet of the "Model As Muse" Gala:

I don't know about you guys, but I think the newly blonde Leighton (left) looks like a circus reject. Luckily, in last night's episode, she was in top form. I loved the part when she told Georgina that the Bible would be pamphlet-sized if you took out all of the vengeance plots, prompting Georgina to quote B's favorite passage, "And they shall know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance on them." Of course, by the end, we learned that reawakening the old Georgina to take down Poppy Lifton may have been a mistake. The dark shades are back on, the cold-hard stare is in full-effect, and the dramatic declarations are borderline blasphemous. In response to informing B that she's handling the situation once-and-for-all after their plan to trick Poppy with a new naive investor backfired:
Blair: "I don't think Jesus would approve of that."
Georgina: "Well, you can tell Jesus that the bitch is back."
I'd be pissed too if I went through the trouble of getting in touch with my spiritual self if only to learn that you can't survive high society living with just a cross and holy water. It's a shame, because it seems Georgina really was reformed. When B got her to pretend to be a naive oil heir looking to invest philanthropically, I figured she was only slightly tainted. Lying used to be her forte, but now she was doing it to help someone instead of harm. The only thing I didn't buy was her inability to figure out what to do when Poppy demanded a cash investment. Georgina needed to text Chuck and inform him that she got everything on tape, but without a wire transfer as an excuse to touch her phone, she had to hand over her church camp bible-buying money to keep up the ruse. Finding Jesus is one thing, but forgetting every conniving trick you've ever used and thought of is ridiculous. It's not like church wipes out your memory. This isn't the "Dollhouse" sweetie. There are a million reasons to text someone mid-conversation—just ask a teenager.

The best part of the night had to have been the intense staring contest between Chuck and Blair, when she asked him to define their relationship and essentially tell her if they would ever have a future together. Chuck took a deep breath and lied through his teeth, telling her that he hates to lose to Nate, so he was just trying to steal her away for kicks. And with that she oddly informed Nate that he wasn't interested and she was all his now. Wow! I've never seen someone so excited to be someone's second choice. Oh wait! Just a few weeks ago, it seemed Nate had done the same thing to B, making her wait before ultimately choosing her over Vanessa. Their relationship won't last though. It's only a matter of time before either Chuck or Blair demands they have a relationship. After all, neither are accustomed to not getting what they want.

Regarding this whole embezzlement scheme, I think Lily should've just butt out. I get why Dan did it. There's no way I'm letting either one of them get away with my Yale tuition. But Serena has taken care of herself for a majority of her adolescence. And wherever she failed, Chuck, Blair, Nate, and the nanny picked up the slack. If I were her and I wanted to put Poppy Lifton in an early social grave, I'd do it. But I guess this whole situation just serves as a segue into next week's episode where we get to see a glimpse into the life of young Lily and a sneak peek at the new series that'll debut this Fall. It looks more upbeat and "Gilmore Girls"-ish than I expected, like Rory but born rich and as uptight as Paris with Lorelai as a sister instead of a mom. I didn't get a good look at what I'm assuming is young Rufus, but he didn't seem that hot. He needs to be Dan-brooding-artist hot. We'll see.

For 145 red carpet snapshots of the Gala, click here.

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