Monday, August 09, 2010
FILM: "Tron" Comic, Carell & Bullock try "Abstinence," Rihanna sinks "Battleship," and more
• Marvel is releasing the 2-issue prequel comic Tron: Betrayal this October to explain what's been happening in the years between the first film and the one set for December.
• I wonder if the rumors that Tom Cruise's salary for the fourth Mission Impossible will be "substantially reduced" has anything to do with the failure of Knight & Day. I thought it was awesome.
• Steve Carell and Sandra Bullock are set to star in the comedy The Abstinence Teacher. She'll play a divorced high school's sex ed teacher who has a breezy attitude about sex, and he'll play a reformed alcoholic turned born-again evangelical Christian. I'm not sure what it means that I totally buy Bullock as the perv in this movie more than Carell.
• Speaking of which...Russell Brand as a mercenary? That's just too ridiculous not to watch. He's in negotiations to star in the pirate action comedy Hawkwood. I'm guessing it's like a more violent (and sober) version of Jack Sparrow.
• Chloe Moretz (Kick-Ass) is in negotiations to play a father-daughter traveling salesmen team with Vince Vaughn in the comedy Old St. Louis. I would absolutely love that. Although I'm not too keen on Scarlett Johansson playing his love interest, a secretary who accompanies them on the cross-country trip. He's a little too old for her, and I already found it difficult to believe Malin Akerman was his wife in Couples Retreat.
• With content as juicy as our scandal-filled recession, cue the onslaught of finance-related conspiracy theories. Chris Pine (Star Trek) is set to star in the Jack Ryan-reboot Moscow, where he'll play a Marine-turned-financial analyst who gets framed for a terrorist scheme that'll collapse the U.S. economy. I bet the people who are actually to blame for the recession are going to love this movie.
• It's true that Diablo Cody has an impressive ability to make unfunny topics incredibly funny (i.e. teen pregnancy, Juno, and schizophrenia, "United States of Tara"), but I'm finding it hard to believe that she'll be able to make me laugh at adultery. Her next project, the dark comedy Young Adult, involves "a thirtysomething, divorced, young-adult fiction writer (Charlize Theron) in Minneapolis who returns to her hometown to chase her ex-boyfriend who is now married with a kid." Remember Diablo, you've already used up your complimentary Oscar-winning free pass with Jennifer's Body.
• Bradley Cooper's about to get deep. He signed on to star opposite Robert De Niro in the drama Honeymoon with Harry. He'll play a womanizer who changes his ways once he meets the girl of his dreams. Her dad, played by De Niro, tries to do everything to break them up. But before they can get married, she dies. Heartbroken, Cooper's character goes on their honeymoon to drown his sorrows. While there, he spreads her ashes with her father and they bond over their love for her. Jesus, I might as well start crying now.
• How do you make people watch a movie about the board game Battleship? You put popstar Rihanna in it. The worst part—yeah there's more—is that I had high hopes for Taylor Kitsch's acting career. I don't want "Friday Night Lights" to be the last best thing that's ever happened to him. In the film, he and Alexander Skarsgard ("True Blood") will play brothers in the Navy, who go on an adventure across the sea and in the sky to fight off an alien invasion. Sure, that sounds somewhat ridiculous, but so does Independence Day on paper.
• Speaking of popstars-turned-actors, I'm still not sold on Justin Timberlake as an actor. But he's soldiering on. His latest project is Andrew Niccol's (Gattaca) I'm.mortal, a sci-fi thriller about a society where people pay to stop aging at 25, and those that can't afford to, struggle to stay alive. Timberlake plays a rebel, wrongly accused of murder, who takes an heiress hostage till he can prove his innocence. Who's the lucky lady? Amanda Seyfried. Even in the movies he gets the hot girl.
• Bill Murray told GQ that Ghostbusters 3 is dead because the writers also wrote Year One and the previous Busters thought that movie sucked. Ouch! Can't really argue with that, but Ouch!
• I just know after hearing the plot of Joseph Kosinski's (Tron Legacy) next project, the graphic novel Oblivion, that it's going to look creatively amazing. "Set in an apocalyptic future where most people live high in the sky due to Earth's surface being uninhabitable, a soldier stuck on the ground goes about his job repairing hunter drones which seek out and destroy members of a savage alien race. He soon comes upon a beautiful woman whose craft has crashed nearby and together they set out on an epic adventure." I'm picturing Fifth Element meets Blade Runner meets Pitch Black meets Wall-E (kidding).
• The plot of the family comedy It Takes a Village follows a "30-something white single career-obsessed woman who decides to adopt a child from a South Pacific island. However she comes home with the tribe's chief and seven elders taking up residence in her gated community until she proves herself as mother material." I just pictured Diane Keaton losing her shit when she sees all those tribal people on her lawn. Too bad she can't pass for 30.
• I'm excited for the adaptation of the comic Crosshair, where a sleeper agent gets comfy in suburbia, complete with a family and white picket fence, before he's activated to assassinate the president. I know it just screams of Salt, Bourne, The Killers, etc., but what can I say? I just love it when the spy lives next door...except if the movie is called The Spy Next Door.
• I don't normally find racial dramas interesting, but Lee Daniels' adaptation of The Butler, the true story of a black man who served 8 presidents, sounds like it could be chock-full of juicy history.