ALBUM REVIEW: Rihanna's "Loud"

Thank God we don't have to hear her whine anymore! I, honestly, have never felt less sympathy for someone. Consistently exploiting yourself to make a profit is almost as shameless as using a Michael Jackson tribute as an excuse to cry in public. Yes, Chris Brown, I'm talking to you! Enough with the public displays of self-importance. Stop reading Kanye West's manual for inflating your ego so criticism will bounce off easier, and make some damn music.

This is...sort of the right direction. There are a few hits, like the singles "What's My Name?" and "Only Girl (In The World)," and a few misses, like "California King (Bed)," which has a great hook, but also sounds like she's selling me a mattress. The party songs and far-less-depressing boy crazy tracks are a bit better though:

"Cheers (Drink to That)" goes back to her dancehall voice and the beat is hot.


"Raining Men," which features Nicki Minaj, is exactly what it sounds like: a declaration that women shouldn't worry about losing or leaving a man, because there are so many other fish in the sea.


Of course, the record company wouldn't pass up the chance to squeeze out just a little more out of her domestic abuse tragedy, so they subtly slipped in a few more songs that address it.

"Man Down" is a Reggae track that sneaks in some allusions to her remorse for destroying Chris Brown's reputation and subsequent career. Awww. (eyeroll)


"Complicated" focuses on her inability to decide whether or not someone is good or bad for her, and how it's not so cut-and-dry. Sometimes, no matter how much you hate someone, you feel like you can't live without them. The fact that she stretches her voice the most in this track overrides the rehashed topic.