Thursday, September 08, 2011

FALL 2011 TV: Premiere Dates, New Shows, & Spoilers for Returning Shows

Find out when your favorite new shows are returning, what to expect, and what new shows are worth giving a shot:

SEPTEMBER 6 - Tuesday
10pm - "Sons of Anarchy" (FX)

SEPTEMBER 13 - Tuesday
8pm - "90210" (CW11)
Last Season: Adrianna switched Silver's meds making her tank her NYU interview and break up with Navid. Silver figured it out, outed her, and got her excommunicated from the group. Adrianna almost committed suicide and then changed her mind, vowing to win them back. Max got expelled before graduation for writing Naomi's paper for her, which she didn't ask him to, and his parents forbid him to see her, then she tells him that she's pregnant. Jen came back for her baby. Liam took a job on a boat. Ivy and Raj got married.
This Season: If you guys were worried about all the 90210-ers moving away after graduation, worry not. Everyone's college plans will either be put on hold, omitted, or completely based in their favorite zip code. Naomi starts her freshman year with Annie, and tries to regain her Queen B status. Dixon is searching for a roommate and working on his music career. Liam tries to take his relationship with Annie to the next level, and buys a bar on a whim, where he hires excommunicated Adrianna to work. Silver ditches college to become an artist, moves in with Navid, and starts working on a political campaign. Unexpected news kept Annie from leaving town and somehow drives her to become a professional escort, which might pose a problem with her new love interest, played by 33-year-old actor Chris McKenna. Other newcomers include Naomi's new love interest and Dixon's new roommate, rich cowboy Austin (Justin Deeley), and his country-singing cousin Sally (singer Kelly Pickler), young congressman candidate Marissa (R&B singer Brandy), nerdy sorority sister Alana (Sarah Hagan from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Freaks and Geeks"), Naomi's new nemesis, sorority leader Holly (Megalyn Echikunwoke from "CSI: Miami" and "4400"), a hot newcomer (Matt Cohen from "Rockville CA"), and Liam's new love interest (Kristina Apgar from "Privileged"). Mr. Matthews and Annie and Dixon's mom won't be returning to the series, and Teddy will only have a short arc this season.
Biggest Scoop: Someone's going to develop a drug habit. My money's on Dixon.
9pm - "Ringer" (CW11)
Plot: A young woman on the run from the mob and the FBI poses as her wealthy twin sister to try and evade them, but soon discovers that her sister has a price on her head as well. One sister is driven by redemption while the other is driven by revenge.
Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar ("Buffy, the Vampire Slayer"), Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic Four), Nestor Carbonell ("Lost"), Mike Colter ("The Good Wife"), Tara Summers ("Damages"), Kristoffer Polaha ("Life Unexpected"), Zoey Deutch
Why Watch: For the drama, the mystery, and twice the dose of Gellar. Eight years and a baby later, the queen has returned.


10pm "Parenthood" (NBC)
Last Season: Amber almost died in a car accident. Sarah put on her first play. Crosby convinced Jasmine to take him back and move into a home he's renovating for them. Adam lost his job. Kristina discovered she's pregnant. Haddie had sex with her boyfriend. Julia discovered she can't have anymore kids.
This Season: Both Sean (Jason Ritter) and Seth (John Corbett) come back to complicate Sarah's life as she has to figure out how to juggle a relationship while helping her ex-husband out of a dark place. Crosby gets a "special friend" (Fiona Gubelmann from "Wilfred"), while Jasmine gets tempted by an accomplished doctor (D.B. Woodside from "Single Ladies" and "Hellcats"). Adam and Crosby go into business together, running their own music studio. Julia considers adopting the baby of a young pregnant girl from her firm. Haddie starts to wonder if having an adult relationship is preventing her from enjoying her last year in high school. Zeek helps Drew romance a high school girl. And Amber gets her own apartment.
Biggest Scoop: Someone gets arrested.

SEPTEMBER 14, WEDNESDAY
10pm "Up All Night" (NBC) [regular time: 8pm]
Plot: An irreverent look at parenthood through the point of view of late-in-life parents: a stay-at-home dad and an acerbic working mother, who works for a narcissistic talk show host.
Cast: Christina Applegate, Will Arnett ("Running Wilde"), Maya Rudolph (Bridesmaids), Nick Cannon (Love Don't Cost a Thing)
Why Watch: The promos are a little misleading. Based on the pilot, it appears the series is actually a lot more mellow and not as jam-packed with jokes. The writers aim to illustrate exactly what it's like to be a parent: the frantic moments, the exhaustion, the profanity, the frustration, and the moments that make it all worth it. Non-parents probably won't enjoy it much, because they can't relate and will most likely lose interest after a few episodes. This is more for parents and parents-to-be. Fans of Arnett's type of comedy will also be a little disappointed. He's not the same psychotic, irresponsible man-child that he usually plays. He's understated and I, personally, prefer this Arnett. He seems a lot more mature. Rudolph was a little tough to take though, because I'm used to loving all of her characters, but she's anything but lovable in this. She plays an Oprah-type—if Oprah were incapable of doing anything on her own. Ultimately, if you love these comedians, then you might be able to endure it all.


10:30pm "Free Agents" (NBC)
Plot: Alex is recently divorced and Helen lost her fiancé a year ago. Obviously, these two are definitely not ready to be dating again. This crooked workplace/romantic comedy proves you can try to put yourself back out there, but sometimes what you need is right in front of you. Even if it's a really bad idea.
Cast: Hank Azaria (The Smurfs and "Mad About You"), Kathryn Hahn (Our Idiot Brother and "Crossing Jordan"), Anthony Head ("Buffy, the Vampire Slayer"), Al Madrigal ("Gary Unmarried"), comedian Mo Mandel, Joe Lo Truglio (Paul, I Love You Man, and "Reno 911!")
Why Watch: I was a little skeptical about Azaria headlining his own series, since he's never really been leading man material, but it turns out he's got great comic timing, and the writing is very sharp. Not to mention, there's a great supporting cast. Head plays against type as an eccentric and demanding boss, and Madrigal shines as the office married man, desperate to live vicariously through his single friends.


SEPTEMBER 15, THURSDAY
8pm "The Vampire Diaries" (CW11)
Last Season: Klaus convinced Elijah to save him at the last minute from their destructive spell, promising to show him where he's hid their family all these years. But in the end, he betrays Elijah and kills him. In order to save Damon, Stefan must agree to join Klaus as his alter ego, The Ripper. During the ritual, Klaus killed Jenna and Elena. Her friends cast a spell and John gives his life to Elena, then dies. In search of Damon, the sheriff accidentally shot Jeremy, and Bonnie casts a spell to revive him. But when he awakens, he can see ghosts, specifically his exes Vicki and Anna. Matt broke up with Caroline after finding out she's a vampire, and colludes with her mom, helping her pretend that her memory was successfully erased.
This Season: While many viewers were excited about the prospect of Elena spending more time with Damon, it looks like they'll be building on their friendship more than their romance as they search for clues to find Stefan. David Gallagher ("7th Heaven" and Super 8) will play a Tennessee werewolf who has a run in with Klaus and the newly-evil Stefan, as Klaus searches for a way to make himself even more powerful. Sebastian Roche ("Supernatural") joins the series as a mysterious man who seems to be hunting Klaus. The ghosts from Jeremy’s past have a powerful message for him and they're affecting his relationship with Bonnie. He seeks help from Matt to figure out what they want. Caroline and Tyler get more intimate as a war erupts between their families.
Biggest Scoop: Roles will be reversed. When Stefan returns, he'll be where Damon was when he first arrived, having to regain everyone's trust and prove he's not evil.
9pm "The Secret Circle" (CW11)
Plot: Sixteen year old Cassie (Robertson) moves from California to live with her grandmother in New Salem after her mother dies in a mysterious fire. She enrolls in a high school she soon learns is filled with witches. A coven, consisting of one member from each of the most powerful Wiccan families in town, seeks her out so that she can help them bind their powers and uncover why some of their parents died 16 years ago, so that they can prevent history from repeating itself.
Cast: Brittany Robertson ("Life Unexpected"), Thomas Dekker ("Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles"), Shelley Hennig ("Days of Our Lives"), Jessica Parker Kennedy (Another Cinderella Story), Logan Browning (Bratz), Louis Hunter, Phoebe Tonkin, Gale Harold ("Hellcats"), Natasha Henstridge ("Eli Stone" and The Whole Nine Yards)
Why Watch: Because Harry Potter is over, Twilight will soon come to a close, and "Vampire Diaries" doesn't spend as much time on witchcraft as you'd like it to.
>WATCH PROMO

10pm "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (FX)

SEPTEMBER 19, MONDAY
8pm "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS)
Last Season: Ted broke up with Emma. Lily discovered she's pregnant. Barney begged Nora for a second chance just when Robyn realizes she still loves Barney, and we discover he's the groom of the foreshadowed wedding.
This Season: The gang will be up to their usual antics. Marshall and Barney make a bet that Barney can't get a peak of Lily's new pregnancy boobs, and one of the cast members streaks. Marshall has trouble finding a job initially, especially after a controversial video of him is posted on Youtube, but then he'll start working for his idol, an environmental lawyer (Martin Short) with a dark edge. Barney pursues Nora. Robin assaults someone and gets court-mandated therapy, which she uses to work out her feelings for Barney. Her introspection might be short-lived though, because she'll start dating her therapist (Kal Penn from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle). While Lily and Marshall spend most of their time preparing for the baby, and Barney drops hints about the identity of his future bride, Ted will be harping on why he has yet to achieve everything that Marshall and Lily have.
Biggest Scoop: Robin and Barney have a hot and heavy dance sequence at a wedding.
8:30pm "2 Broke Girls" (CBS)
Plot: Set in New York City, the series chronicles the lives of two waitresses in their twenties—Max (Dennings), who comes from a poor working-class family, and Caroline (Behrs), who was born rich but is now down on her luck—working together at a Brooklyn restaurant. The two become fast friends and build their dream of one day opening a cupcake shop (for which they need to raise $250,000), although they can barely afford anything with the pay they receive at work, and must continually find ways to make ends meet, like handing out fliers dressed as King Tut and helping a hoarder organize their apartment.
Cast: Kat Dennings (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and Thor), Beth Behrs, Garrett Morris, Jonathan Kite, Matthew Moy ("Scrubs")
Why Watch: The promos don't do it justice. First off, Behrs's character isn't actually as dumb as they imply. What she lacks in street smarts, she makes up for with business savvy. Secondly, Behr is also capable of keeping up with Dennings's signature snark. She can dish it out just as hard. Lastly, by the general title, one could assume the series has no solid schematic, but once they introduce the idea of these two girls working together to start a business, it's much easier to imagine seasons of content.


9pm "Two and a Half Men" (CBS)
Plot: Charlie dies. A heartbroken Internet billionaire, who has no luck with the ladies, buys his house and somehow adopts Alan as his love guru.
Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones
Why Watch: Out of sheer curiosity of whether 1) this revived series will make it without Charlie Sheen and 2) whether Kutcher can ever be more than just the first celeb who repped Twitter or Demi Moore's underaged lover.

10pm "Hawaii Five-O" (CBS)
Last Season: Rachel left her husband and decided to move back to New York with her daughter after discovering she's pregnant. Dano agreed to go with her, but was delayed when he was forced to arrest McGarrett, who was framed for the The Governor's death after discovering she ordered the hit on his dad. Kono was arrested for stealing the ransom money to save Chin Ho. And Chin Ho's name was cleared, despite his attempt to take the fall for his uncle.
This Season: My prayers were answered and the writers are adding a little more romance to balance out the bromance. Lauren German ("Happy Town" and A Walk to Remember) will woo McGarrett as a Homeland Security Officer who was hand-picked to join Five-0 task force. In spite of Dano rekindling his relationship with his ex-wife, Scott Caan's "Entourage" costar Autumn Reeser ("No Ordinary Family") will knock him off his feet as a maritime museum curator. And Billy Baldwin will play a corrupt former homicide detective who has his eyes on Kono. Other guest stars will include Terry O'Quinn ("Lost") as a Navy Seal Lt. Commander who trained McGarrett and served with his father in Vietnam, and holds the secret to his parents' murder; Tom Sizemore as the leader of the Infernal Affairs investigation of Five-0; Greg Grunberg ("Heroes") as an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent; and Richard T. Jones ("Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles") as the new governor. Plus, Masi Oka was made a series regular, so we'll see more of him.
Biggest Scoop: McGarrett breaks out of prison mid-transit.
10pm "The Playboy Club" (NBC)
Plot: Set in 1963, the series will center around the employees (known as Bunnies) of the first Playboy Club in Chicago at the center of the country's sexual revolution.
Cast: Amber Heard (Drive Angry 3D and The Stepfather), Eddie Cibrian ("Third Watch"), Laura Benanti (Take the Lead), David Krumholtz ("Numb3rs"), Naturi Naughton (Lottery Ticket and Fame), Leah Renee Cudmore, Sean Maher (Serenity), Jenna Dewan (Step Up), Wes Ramsey ("CSI: Miami")
Why Watch: I, like I'm sure everyone who's heard about this series, was expecting the glorification of an objectifying industry, but the producers wisely made it about more than just that. Sure, there's an idealized portrayal of what an honor it was to be a "Bunny," but there's also a real story happening amidst all the prancing and posing. Cibrian is an aspiring district attorney who used to work for the mob and he's become so enamored with the newest bunny, Heard, that he helps her cover up the accidental murder of the city's resident mob boss. Krumholtz is running the Playboy Club, but is experiencing a little resistance from the oldest Bunny, Benanti, who is looking to gain more control over the operation with the approval of Hef himself. Krumholtz must sustain her micro-managing while trying not to give into the mob's persistent request to have a stake in the business. And if that isn't enough to sway you, the writers are doing well to paint a picture of the 60s that "Mad Men" is only beginning to. Naughton acts as the voice of rebellious African American women, desperate to find a place where they're treated as equals. Cudmore represents both the married Bunnies, and provides a look at a different, secretive lifestyle that hid in the 60s and flourished in the 70s. And Dewan hides a secret that makes it impossible for her to marry. The acting is decent and the story has promise.


10pm "Castle" (ABC)
Last Season: After the Captain told Beckett the truth about her father's death, he's murdered by his former cohorts and she's shot by a sniper at his funeral. Castle takes this opportunity to tell her he loves her.
This Season: After Beckett's near death experience, Castle's daughter Alexis gets increasingly worried about her father's safety and takes her anger out on the recovering Beckett. Meanwhile, Castle may be getting a new love interest in the form of an art insurance investigator (Kristin Lehman from "The Killing") with a secret past. The team gets a new, tough-as-nails boss (Penny Johnson Jerald), who isn't swayed by Castle's charms. Tamala Jones was promoted to series regular. Her relationship with Esposito gets a little more complicated as they get more serious. And the 3XK killer returns.
Biggest Scoop: Castle will get into a physical fight with Beckett's boyfriend.

SEPTEMBER 20, TUESDAY
8pm "NCIS" (CBS)

8pm "Glee" (FOX)
Last Season: They lost Nationals. Will decided not to audition for a Broadway play. Finn broke up with Quinn to get back together with Rachel. Quinn chopped off her hair. Blaine told Kurt how he feels about him. And Mercedes and Sam started secretly dating.
This Season: Coach Sylvester refocuses her attention on running for Congress and uses her dirty tricks in an arena she seems born for. Idina Menzel returns as Rachel's mom for a major arc this season. We get to meet Mike's parents, who, like most Asian parents, have different plans for him than he does. He's a senior and he has to start planning for the future, which might put a kink in his relationship with Tina, who is a junior. Mercedes gets a new boyfriend named Bubba (LaMarcus Tinker from "Friday Night Lights") over summer, since Sam's family moves away. Brittany decides she wants Artie back. Quinn is going to get in touch with her inner bad girl by way of Gwen Stefani-style pink hair. There will be fewer songs, only one tribute episode that's been in the works for the last two years, and no big name guest stars. Supporting characters like Mercedes, Mike, and Tina will get bigger storylines. And Vanessa Lengies ("Hawthorne") will join the series as a wealthy student named Sugar. We'll also see all 700 "Glee Project" contestants—somehow.
Biggest Scoop: Will and Emma kiss...like with their mouths.

9pm "NCIS: Los Angeles" (CBS)
9pm "New Girl" (FOX)
Plot: A well-liked, bubbly, young woman in her late 20s is trying to get over her surprise breakup with her model boyfriend. She eventually finds a new place to stay when she moves in with three single guys: Nick (Johnson), a bartender; Schmidt (Greenfield), a professional and modern-day Casanova; and Coach (Morris, who replaced Damon Wayans Jr. after the pilot), a former athlete turned trainer. Rounding out this unlikely bunch is Jessica's street-smart model friend Cece (Simone). Together, this group of friends try to help Jess learn a lot about love and life at a time when they're all rebuilding their lives or choosing a path.
Cast: Zooey Deschanel, Jake M. Johnson (Paper Heart), Max Greenfield ("Ugly Betty" and "Greek"), Hannah Simone ("WCG Ultimate Gamer"), Lamorne Morris
Why Watch: Deschanel has made a name for herself by playing characters who are adored (500 Days of Summer and Your Highness), so it'll be nice to see her play a total dork who's so vulnerable and socially inept that she watches Dirty Dancing on a loop to console herself. I know this isn't the first time that a shattered woman has been the subject of a female-centric comedy, but rarely has an underdog indie queen been the star. The only hitch is that the pilot and the promos have Damon Wayans Jr. as the token black guy, but since his ABC series "Happy Endings" got picked up, he had to pass the torch to Morris. That could change the dynamic tremendously if fans truly enjoy the chemistry of the first episode. We'll see.


9:30pm "Raising Hope" (FOX)
Last Season: Sabrina broke up with her cheating boyfriend, and we learn that she had a major crush on Jimmy back when he was an unrecognizable, moody goth.
This Season: The gang takes a family trip to Las Vegas for cousin Delilah's (Amy Sedaris) wedding. Jimmy gets to meet Sabrina's dad (Stephen Root from "NewsRadio"), which will probably be the episode that he's said to learn shocking secrets about her.
Biggest Scoop: Burt will get kidnapped.
10pm "Unforgettable" (CBS)
Plot: Former New York City police detective Carrie Wells suffers from hyperthymesia, a rare medical condition that gives her the ability to remember everything and reexamine it in her memory. She is reluctantly asked by her former boyfriend and one-time partner to join his Queens homicide unit after she helps him solve her neighbor's murder. Helping him shakes loose a memory of her sister's murder, which is the one thing she can't remember, so she agrees to join his team in hopes of remembering more.
Cast: Poppy Montgomery ("Without a Trace"), Dylan Walsh ("Nip/Tuck"), Kevin Rankin ("Justified" and "Trauma"), Michael Gaston ("One Life to Live"), and Daya Vaidaya
Why Watch: If you're a fan of unorthodox crime shows, like "Medium" and "Body of Proof," then you might like this.


10pm "Body of Proof" (ABC)

SEPTEMBER 21, WEDNESDAY
8pm "The Middle" (ABC)
This Season: The first episode is a family camping vacation with flashbacks to their honeymoon. Ray Romano ("Everybody Loves Raymond") plays a guy who ruined it. Axl will continue his brotherly hazing by welcoming Sue to his high school with a prank. Molly Shannon will guest star as Frankie's often-talked about sister. And Chord Overstreet ("Glee") will guest star as Brick's new 4th grade teacher.

9pm "Criminal Minds" (CBS)

9pm "Harry's Law" (NBC)

9pm "Modern Family" (ABC)
Last Season: Alex graduated from middle school, and Cam and Mitchell decided to adopt a boy.
This Season: They go on a family vacation to a dude ranch where the guys test how manly they are. There'll be even further competition between Jay and Manny's dad (Benjamin Bratt) when they race to figure out how much Jay gets to be in Manny's life. Hayley and Alex not only end up at the same high school, but in the same math class, which after initial resistance will lead to a "mutual advantage." Mitch and Cam struggle with the possibility that Lily doesn't want any competition. Josh Gad (Love and Other Drugs) plays a neighbor of the Dunphys who worships the ground Phil walks on. David Cross ("Arrested Development") will have a recurring role as a city councilman who goes toe-to-toe with Claire. Manny commits a crime, Claire ends up on an accidental date, and Phil tries his hand at inventing a scalp massager...unsuccessfully.

10pm "CSI" (CBS)

10pm "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC)
10pm "Revenge" (ABC)
Plot: A mysterious woman, Emily Thorne, arrives in the Hamptons seeking revenge on the people who framed her father.
Cast: Emily VanCamp ("Brothers & Sisters" and "Everwood"), Madeleine Stowe (The Last of the Mohicans), Gabriel Mann (The Bourne Identity), Henry Czerny ("Falling Skies" and "The Tudors"), Ashley Madekwe ("Secret Diary of a Call Girl" and "The Beautiful Life: TBL"), Nick Wechsler ("Roswell"), Joshua Bowman ("Make It or Break It"), Christa B. Allen (13 Going on 30), Connor Paolo ("Gossip Girl")
Why Watch: You've never seen VanCamp like this before. She's always been one to play a good girl, stumbling into things she isn't quite prepared for. Now she's playing an assertive, vengeance-seeking manipulator—and she's really good at it. The series has the scandalous plot lines of "Gossip Girl," the adult drama of "Melrose Place," and the intricate vengeance schemes of "Pretty Little Liars," minus the light moments. It's saturated in hatred and betrayal. What sets it apart is that it's from the perspective of the vengeance-seeker instead of the victims. You'll be mesmerized by how impressively she takes them each down, one by one. Also, "Roswell" fans will be happy to see the return of Wechsler, who plays the one guy who can save her from herself.


SEPTEMBER 22, THURSDAY
8pm "The Big Bang Theory" (CBS)
Last Season: Leonard discovered Priya was moving back to India, and then caught Penny and Raj doing the Walk of Shame after a drunken one-night stand.
This Season: Leonard and Priya attempt a long distance relationship even though it appears Penny wants him back. Meanwhile, Penny's place in the group is somewhat compromised because she slept with Raj. They were the first guys who treated her like a person more often than a sex object and now that's no longer the case.

8pm "Community" (NBC)
Last Season: Annie was seduced by Abed's Han Solo impression, but he wasn't interested. The group discovered that Britta and Jeff have been secretly sleeping together all year. Pierce chose to leave the group after losing it during their epic paintball battle and psychologically toying with them.
This Season: Abed and Troy move in together. Annie gets a type-A rival and rekindles her interest in Jeff. Troy tries to compete with Jeff for the position of group leader. John Goodman will play Vice Dean Laybourne, a thorn in both Dean Pelton and the gang's side, who abuses his power because his air conditioning repair program is the most successful of all the curriculums. Michael Kenneth Williams ("The Wire") will have a recurring role as a very intense ex-con Biology teacher, who finds an enemy in Jeff. Martin Starr ("Party Down" and Adventureland) will guest star as a poli-sci professor and project advisor during the Model UN episode. Given all the damage that they've done to the school, Greendale has wisely hired security: a power-hungry rent-a-cop (Mel Rodriguez from "Running Wilde") and Señor Chang.

8pm "Charlie's Angels" (ABC)
Plot: Set in Miami, this fun, glamorous, action-packed take on the 1970s smash hit series introduces us to three new angels, all fearless detectives, head-turning beauties and close friends. There's Abby (Taylor), a Park Avenue princess who became a world-class thief; Kate (Ilonzeh), a Miami cop who fell from grace, losing both her career and her fiancé; and Gloria (Nadine Velazquez's "My Name is Earl"), a disgraced army lieutenant who has a way with explosives. When one of the angels' missions ends in Gloria's tragic death, Charlie persuades them to partner with Gloria's childhood friend, Eve (Kelly), a street racer with a mysterious past. They may not know each other yet, but one thing is for sure—Abby, Kate and Eve will always have each others' backs.
Cast: Minka Kelly ("Friday Night Lights"), Rachael Taylor (Transformers), Annie Ilonzeh ("General Hospital"), Ramon Rodriguez (Battle Los Angeles and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)
Why Watch: If you enjoyed the Drew Barrymore-produced films, then you'll be happy to know that she's executive producing this as well, so it'll have the same intensity and sex appeal, jam-packed with girl power.


8:30pm "Parks & Recreation" (NBC)
Last Season: Ben finally made a play for Leslie, despite office protocol. But then Leslie was approached by a committee of politicians who are interested in helping her run for Mayor of Pawnee. She's faced with the choice of either forfeiting the seat to be with Ben or forfeiting the potential for true love to get one step closer to the White House. April and Andy got married, and Anne and Chris got back together.
This Season: During the first half we'll see as Leslie tries to live with her decision, while still imagining the road not taken. Mark (Paul Schneider) returns for a few episodes, working for a construction company. We'll meet Ron Swanson's first wife (Patricia Clarkson from Friends with Benefits and Easy A), also named Tammy. Word is she won't be the same manipulative sexpot that Megan Mullally was as Tammy 2, but somehow she'll be much more evil. And if that's not enough Tammy's, we'll also get to meet Tammy 0, Ron's mom (SNL writer/guest star Paula Pell).

9pm "Person of Interest" (CBS)
Plot: Mr. Finch (Emerson), a mysterious billionaire, has developed a computer program that predicts the identity of people connected to violent crimes that will take place in the future. However, the program has its limitations: for example, it cannot predict whether the person will be a victim, perpetrator, or witness, nor can it predict when or where the crime will take place. Unable to stop the crimes on his own, Finch hires John Reese (Caviezel), a former CIA agent who is presumed dead, to help stop the crimes from taking place.
Cast: Jim Caviezel (The Passion of the Christ and "The Prisoner"), Michael Emerson ("Lost"), Taraji P. Henson (The Karate Kid and Larry Crowne), Kevin Chapman ("Rescue Me" and "Brotherhood")
Why Watch: After "Lost," it's obvious that Emerson is at his best when he's manipulating someone, even when he's doing it for good. And Caviezel's finally found a good role 7 years after being critically deified for playing Jesus Christ. Now he'll play another savior. Omnipotent with the help of his new partner and self-sacrificing to a fault. But in order to maintain viewer interest, they'll have to give these two vigilantes a series-long conspiracy to uncover and at least one love interest. In the mean time, viewers will enjoy trying to figure out whether or not the social security number that comes up belongs to a good person or a bad person. The cases will keep you guessing for sure. Nothing is ever as it seems.


9pm "The Office" (NBC)
Last Season: Erin broke up with boring Gabe and asked Andy out, and he rejected her. Angela announced that she's getting married to her senator boyfriend, who everyone thinks is gay. Creed was crowned interim boss until the company could decide who they should hire.
This Season: While James Spader has been chosen as the new boss, his ambitions are so lofty that he'll go after Jo Bennett's (Kathy Bates) job and become CEO of Dunder Mifflin, leaving the office manager position open yet again. Since Jim and Pam are expecting another child, my fingers are crossed for Jim to step up and overcome his fears of failure. We'll meet Andy's family, with Stephen Collins ("7th Heaven") as his dad, Dee Wallace (E.T.) as his mom, and Josh Groban (Crazy Stupid Love) as his brother. Also, the warehouse staff wins the lottery and quits.
Biggest Scoop: Someone else has a bun in the oven. My money's on Angela. It's the most logical. Although, it being Kelly would be hilarious on so many levels.

9pm "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
Last Season: Owen left Cristina with an ultimatum, demanding she not abort their child. Lucy took Alex's job in Africa and dumped him. He drowns his sorrows and drunkenly attempted to get Meredith disqualified for the Chief Resident position by telling Owen that she tampered with Derek's Alzheimer's drug experiment. When Derek found out, he abandoned Meredith and their newly adopted African baby.
This Season: The chief fires Meredith. And since Alex ratted out Meredith, April became the new Chief Resident, and Owen was made the new Chief of Surgery, they'll all be treated like outsiders. Owen in particular will have a difficult time because he's more of a hands-on doc than a paperwork doc, and he's still waiting for Cristina to decide if she's getting an abortion, which she will by the end of the episode. Alex will at least have Arizona in his corner. Jackson attempts to pursue a field in plastics, which will of course be awkward, since his mentor will have to be Mark. Debbie Allen will play his mom. Callie and Arizona discover how motherhood affects their sex life, relationship, and work life. Scott Foley (Henry, Teddy's fake husband) was tapped to play a major character next season on "True Blood," so not sure what that means in regards to the likelihood of Henry's survival. And an ill-equipped male intern will join the cast.
9:30pm "Whitney" (NBC)
Plot: An opinionated woman and her very supportive live-in boyfriend have decided that they will not commit to marriage. But because of what she sees and hears around her involving other relationships, she decides to use unconventional methods to keep the romantic flames glowing with the help of her close friends.
Cast: Whitney Cummings ("Chelsea Lately"), Chris D'Elia ("Glory Daze"), Rhea Seehorn ("Franklin & Bash"), Maulik Pancholy ("30 Rock" and "Web Therapy"), Zoe Lister-Jones (Stuck Between Stations), Daniel G. O'Brien, Jane Kaczmarek ("Malcolm in the Middle")
Why Watch: Cummings' type of comedy is a little abrasive, so I was worried her character would be unlikable. But she's found a nice balance between sexy, sweet, and confrontational. The promos are pretty accurate on the caliber of jokes and how frequently they're told, but there's a chance her whiny how-do-we-have-a-commitment-without-committing schtick will get old quick.


10pm "The Mentalist" (CBS)
Last Season: Lisbon discovered that Grace's fiancé Craig was Red John's protege when he tried to murder Hightower. She got shot, and Hightower and Grace shot him to save her. Patrick tracked Red John to a mall and shot him in the food court.
This Season: Everyone gets suspended, pending investigation. The CBI gets a new boss: 30-year-old Michael Rady ("Melrose Place" and "Greek"). He's said to be a well-educated special agent who is such a fast learner, he'll be able to go toe-to-toe with Patrick, who'll most likely toy with him like he does everyone. Meanwhile, Lisbon will try to convince Van Pelt to seek counseling after her fiancé's betrayal slash death.
Biggest Scoop: The man Patrick shot may not have been Red John, and a critical piece of evidence in Patrick's defense has gone missing.
10pm "Prime Suspect" (NBC)
Plot: This U.S. remake of a U.K. series is about Jane Timoney, an iconoclastic female detective who has to make her bones in a tough New York precinct that is dominated by men.
Cast: Maria Bello (A History of Violence), Aidan Quinn (Unknown), Brian O'Byrne ("Mildred Pierce" and "FlashForward"), Kirk Acevedo ("Fringe"), Joe Nieves ("How I Met Your Mother"), Damon Gupton (The Last Airbender), Tim Griffin (Leatherheads and "Grey's Anatomy"), Peter Gerety ("Mercy" and "Brothers & Sisters")
Why Watch: Bello has always been a tough chick. This role is a piece of cake for her. The only question is whether viewers are ready to take 60 minutes of testosterone-filled misogyny and balls-out feminism set in the cold-hearted, bleak city of New York. They didn't warm to "Detroit 1-8-7," so its chances don't look so good. History has proven that viewers only enjoy a hopeful, and sunny New York. Not the one that's on the news. One thing that sets this series apart from other gritty crime shows is that it's told through the eyes of a woman, an underdog. She doesn't just have to fight the criminals. She has to fight the cops too. And on an unrelated note, I just have to say this: Nieves was the bartender on "How I Met Your Mother." Moving on up!


SEPTEMBER 23, FRIDAY
8pm "A Gifted Man" (CBS)
Plot: Michael Holt (Wilson) is a talented but self-absorbed surgeon at an upscale New York City clinic. He lives a comfortable and materialistic life due to the wealthy clients he treats, but is nevertheless discontent with his life and acts coldly to those around him. His life is thrown into disarray, however, when he is visited by the ghost of his ex-wife Anna (Ehle), who was recently killed in a car accident. Anna asks Michael to help keep running the free clinic she previously directed, which leads Michael to be exposed to poorer patients in need, who are far different from his usual clientele. Michael's sister Christina (Benz), a single mother struggling to care for her troubled teenage son Milo (Aiken), believes in the supernatural and is thrilled with the idea that Anna is back in Michael's life, as she insists he was a better person when she was around.
Cast: Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Ehle (The King's Speech), Julie Benz ("No Ordinary Family" and "Dexter"), Liam Aiken (Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events and Road to Perdition), Margo Martindale ("Justified," "Mercy," and "The Riches"), Pablo Schreiber (Happythankyoumoreplease and "Lights Out"), Rachelle Lefevre ("Off the Map" and Twilight), Afton Williamson
Why Watch: It's one of those inspirational stories that chart the slow transformation of a heartless man into a selfless hero.


8pm "Nikita" (CW11)
Last Season: Alex killed Jaden and discovered that Nikita was the one who murdered her father. She spared her life but vows to seek revenge. After Michael spared Percy's life, he goes on the run with Nikita, then Oversight hires Alex to hunt them down and puts Amanda in charge.
This Season: Nikita and Michael are on the run with the hard drive and Alex is heading up the mission to take them down. Oversight hires Army Special Ops officer Sean Pierce (Dillon Casey from "Vampire Diaries") to retrieve the black box and keep tabs on Amanda, but he'll also become intrigued by Alex who he doesn't fully trust. In order to stay afloat, Michael and Nikita have to find a benefactor to support them. Since Amanda stole his job, Percy will be plotting his revenge. And we might get to meet Alex's mom—and I'm secretly hoping it's Amanda.
Biggest Scoop: One female character will shoot another. My money's on Nikita shooting Alex. It is technically her turn.

9pm "CSI: NY" (CBS)

9pm "Fringe" (FOX)
Last Season: Peter managed to create a bridge between both worlds, combining both Walternate and Walter's labs, and deleting himself from existence.
This Season: When the series restarts, it'll sort of reboot—for a little while. We'll get to see what life would be like without Peter, because no one will remember he existed. And considering the impact that Peter has had on Olivia's life, especially her young life, and Walter's sanity, the changes should be pretty drastic. Not to mention, his child with Fauxlivia won't exist. Another big change will be the fact that the bridge unites both worlds and both Fringe divisions, which will pile double the workload on Division leader Broyles. And we'll get to see the differences between the doubles, like the fact that Walternate isn't as lab-savvy as our sweet Walter. Meanwhile, I'm excited to report that Lincoln Lee will be a permanent character this season joining the Fringe team on more cases. Also joining the cast is actress Mei-Ling Hwa ("Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Dirty Sexy Money").

9pm "Supernatural" (CW11)

10pm "Blue Bloods" (CBS)

SEPTEMBER 25, SUNDAY
7:30pm "The Cleveland Show" (FOX)

8pm "The Simpsons" (FOX)

9pm "Family Guy" (FOX)

9pm "Desperate Housewives" (ABC)
Last Season: Felicia almost killed Paul, Susan saved him, he realized he needed to turn himself in, and then Felicia got in a car accident. Lynette and Tom decided to get a divorce after she tried to micromanage his career. Bree started dating a cop. Gabby's stepdad tried to rape her, Carlos murdered him, and the ladies, including Renee, helped them cover it up.
This Season: The ladies have trouble with their guilt and making the right choices. Plus, not only will Renee get a new love interest in the form of a ruthless contractor (Charles Mesure from "V"), but so will Tom. Andrea Parker will have the pleasure of playing his rebound. Meanwhile, Susan will go back to art school.
Biggest Scoop: At the end of the first episode, there's a big reveal that's tied back to the pilot episode and involves Mary Alice's suicide.

9:30pm "American Dad" (FOX)

9pm "The Good Wife" (CBS)
Last Season: Alicia realized that Kalinda slept with Peter the night he wins the election. She tore her a new one, then asked Peter for a divorce after buying him a new apartment and moving all of his stuff into it. The ink was barely dry before she got Will to pay for an insanely expensive hotel room so they could have one night together.
This Season: While Will and Alicia enjoyed their night together, they'll certainly pay for it. Peter has his sights set on taking Will down and Alicia will have to decide how badly she wants to be with him. She might even consider staying married to Peter to help him become the governor and get out of the State's Attorney office, so their professional lives aren't intertwined anymore. But Will will have trouble of his own, when his ex and former co-worker (Lisa Edelstein from "House") shows up. Since they were partners at his old firm there's a chance she was involved in his shady dealings with Blake. She'll provide a stark contrast to Alicia who isn't as risky and unpredictable. Eli and Kalinda team up when he hires her for a few politically-driven investigations. We'll also get to meet Eli's ex-wife (Parker Posey). And Alicia's brother Owen will get a love interest in the form of a young philosophy professor (Michael Arden).  
Biggest Scoop: Diane will get a new love interest and he'll be a much younger legal aide (Bill Heck).

9pm "Boardwalk Empire" (HBO)
Last Season: Jimmy made his move to turn against his mentor Nucky, and an assassination attempt is made on Nucky's life.
This Season: Jimmy is looking to take over Nucky's territory and Nucky will put up a formidable fight. Angela is getting to know Jimmy's inner circle, and his mom is pushing him to overthrow Nucky, so that she can be queen of Atlantic City. Margaret and her children have moved in with Nucky, who might be rubbing off on her son. Her reasons for leaving Ireland will be revealed. Lucy is blackmailing Agent Van Alden with her pregnancy. Meanwhile, a new female prosecutor (Julianne Nicholson from "Law & Order: Criminal Intent") is hunting bootleggers.

10pm "CSI: Miami" (CBS)

10pm "Pan Am" (ABC)
Plot: Period drama about the pilots and flight attendants who once made Pan Am the most glamorous way to fly.
Cast: Margot Robbie ("Neighbours"), Kelli Garner ("My Generation" and Going the Distance), Christina Ricci, Karine Vanasse, Michael Mosley ("Scrubs"), replacing Jonah Lotan ("Generation Kill" and "24") from the pilot is Mike Vogel (She's Out of My League and Cloverfield), Goran Visnjic ("ER")
Why Watch: I know it sounds like a commercial for why you should fly more often, and much like "The Playboy Club" a glorification of an objectifying profession, but that's not why you should watch. First off, the first episode implies that the pilots don't always fly commercial airlines, and are often involved in government situations, like mass rescues, due to the political turmoil during the time. The reason is because Pan Am was the only global airline and as such was protected by the Geneva Convention in case they were ever held captive. Secondly, each stewardess has an interesting backstory, explaining what led them to pursue a corner office in the sky. But most importantly, the flight attendants aren't just eye candy. Some of them are in possession of the perfect cover to gather intel, detain suspects, and perform basic espionage on behalf of the CIA and MI-6. And sometimes leading a double life can interfere with their personal life. The writers have succeeded in making the lives of these ladies seem like a never ending adventure.


SEPTEMBER 26, MONDAY
8pm "Terra Nova" (FOX)
Plot: The show begins in the year 2149, a time when all life on planet Earth is threatened with extinction. In an effort to save the human race, scientists develop a time machine allowing people to travel 85 million years back in time to prehistoric Earth. After former police officer Jim is imprisoned for having a third child and exceeding population-control limits, he and his family join the tenth pilgrimage of settlers to Terra Nova, the first human colony on the other side of the temporal doorway. However, they are unaware that the colony is in the middle of a group of carnivorous dinosaurs, and it's habitually attacked by a group of rogue residents called the Sixers, who have a different agenda on Terra Nova.
Cast: Jason O'Mara ("Life on Mars"), Stephen Lang (Avatar), Shelley Conn, Landon Liboiron ("Life Unexpected"), Naomi Scott (Lemonade Mouth), Allison Miller ("Kings"), Mido Hamada ("24"), Alana Mansour, Christine Adams ("Pushing Daisies"), Rod Hallett ("The Tudors")
Why Watch: This series has been delayed so many times I wouldn't be surprised if initial fans have given up hope. But Steven Spielberg, the king of dinosaur epics, is trying to essentially capitalize off of the Avatar worship (even poaching its F/X supervisor) to bring Jurassic Park to the small screen in a giant way. If there's anyone who knows how to tell the story of a family forced to fend off the volatility of nature while mending the broken ties between them, it's him.


8pm "Gossip Girl" (CW11)
Last Season: Blair and Chuck had one last night together before she officially accepted Louis's proposal. We discovered that Lily's sister actually paid a woman named Ivy to pretend to be her daughter Charlie so she could steal blank checks from her family. Vanessa asked Dan for a second chance, he rejected her, and she retaliated by getting his UES tell-all published. Nate and Raina broke up when she decided to move back to Chicago after she learned her father accidentally murdered her mother. Serena went to Hollywood and got an internship at a movie studio.
This Season: Blair gets a new nemesis. Prince Louis's sister (Roxane Mesquida) will meddle in their relationship. Not to mention, do her best to keep Blair away from Dan, which probably won't be necessary since his lightly-veiled tell-all will most likely piss her off. But he won't be lonely, because it looks like Ivy is here to stay now that Kaylee Defer has been made a series regular. Serena will have a better focus this season, having found her calling in L.A. over the summer. Elizabeth Hurley joins the series as "a sexy, smart, self-made media mogul and all-around force to be reckoned with. Diana’s entrance on the Upper East Side will change the lives of all our characters — including, and especially, Gossip Girl herself." And given the set shots of her canoodling with Nate, methinks she'll be the Demi to his Ashton. Also, we won't see anymore of Eric and Jenny, because Connor Paolo joined "Revenge" and Taylor Momsen quit acting to be a poserrockstar.
Biggest Scoop: More than one person in the Waldorf home is pregnant.

9pm "Hart of Dixie" (CW11)
Plot: The series follows New Yorker Dr. Zoe Hart who is in desperate need of a general practice position in order to be considered for a fellowship in the future. She decides to accept the offer of a Southern doctor from remote Bluebell, Alabama, only to discover that not only did he die and leave her his practice, but he was also her father.
Cast: Rachel Bilson ("The O.C."), Scott Porter ("Friday Night Lights" and "The Good Wife"), Jaime King ("My Generation" and "Gary Unmarried"), Cress Williams ("Friday Night Lights" and "ER"), McKaley Miller ("The Gates"), Wilson Bethel ("The Young and the Restless" and "Generation Kill")
Why Watch: I guess if you miss Summer Roberts that much, and really liked the 1991 film Doc Hollywood, then this'll just warm your heart.


9:30pm "Mike & Molly" (CBS)
Last Season: They got engaged.
This Season: Her mom gets married.

SEPTEMBER 28, WEDNESDAY
8:30pm "Suburgatory" (ABC)
Plot: A divorced father decides to get away from New York City to the suburbs so he can give his 16-year-old daughter a better life. However, the move to 'burbs has the daughter wondering if they just entered the world of The Stepford Wives after they see how 'perfect' their new locale is, right down to the neighbors who welcome them into the cul-de-sac.
Cast: Jeremy Sisto ("Law & Order"), Jane Levy ("Shameless"), Cheryl Hines ("Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "In the Motherhood"), Carly Chaikin (The Last Song), Allie Grant ("Weeds"), Alan Tudyk (Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Serenity), Rex Lee ("Entourage"), Ana Gasteyer ("SNL"), Chris Parnell ("30 Rock"), Katelyn Pacitto, Kara Pacitto
Why Watch: Newcomer Levy has great comic timing. She's like the sunnier "Daria" stuck in Wisteria Lane. Not sure the premise can last longer than two seasons, but I guess we'll see.

9:30pm "Happy Endings" (ABC)
Last Season: Alex realized she's not completely over Dave, even though she left him at the altar.
This Season: The gang will be back to their usual hijinks, celebrating Dave and Alex's non-nuptials, bonding with Mean Girls, and accidentally gender-bending on Halloween. Plus, we'll learn why Penny and Max dated, meet her mom (Megan Mullally from "Parks & Recreation"), and watch as Brad and Jane deal with the next step in their relationship.

SEPTEMBER 29, THURSDAY
8:30pm "How to be a Gentleman" (CBS)
Plot: The series chronicles the friendship between Andrew (Hornsby), an uptight gentlema-and-magazine columnist, and his abrasive old high school classmate Bert (Dillon). Desperate to keep his column after the magazine decides to gear all of its content towards a younger audience, Andrew changes its angle and uses Bert as his guide to becoming a modern man, hiring him as his trainer and moving in with him.
Cast: David Hornsby ("It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"), Kevin Dillon ("Entourage"), Dave Foley ("NewsRadio"), Mary Lynn Rajskub ("24"), Rhys Darby ("Flight of the Conchords"), Nancy Lenehan ("Worst Week")
Why Watch: If you like the idea of a sophisticated and sensitive guy being taught how to be a "man" by a meathead, and/or you miss Johnny Drama, then you'll find a lot of laughs in this.


10pm "Private Practice" (ABC)

OCTOBER 2, SUNDAY
9pm "Dexter" (SHO)

10pm "Hung" (HBO)
This Season: Ray will get some professional competition (Stephen Arnell by "Vampire Diaries"), and he'll help a client (Ana Ortiz from "Ugly Betty") with a voracious sexual appetite and serious anger issues, both sexually and emotionally.
Biggest Scoop: One of Ray's clients will be a pre-op transexual.
10pm "Homeland" (SHO)
Plot: Centers on Marine Sergeant Scott Brody, who returns home eight years after being a prisoner of war in Iraq, and Carrie Anderson, a drug-abusing-but-driven CIA analyst who suspects he might be a secret terrorist, plotting an attack on America.
Cast: Claire Danes ("Dexter"), Damian Lewis ("Life"), Mandy Patinkin ("Criminal Minds"), Morena Baccarin ("V"), David Harewood ("Robin Hood"), Diego Klattenhoff ("Mercy" and "Men in Trees"), Morgan Saylor (Cirque du Freak), Jackson Pace (Cool Dog)
Why Watch: It'll be an interesting cat-and-mouse game where you won't be sure who should be chasing who.


10:30pm "How to Make It In America" (HBO)
This Season: Ben will get an older love interest, who is a "smart, classy and sexy New York tastemaker with an eye for talent who owns a showroom in downtown Manhattan." I don't know why Marisa Tomei just popped in my head, but she did.

OCTOBER 3, MONDAY
9pm "House" (FOX)

OCTOBER 5, WEDNESDAY
10pm "American Horror Story" (FX)
Plot: The story focuses on a family that move into a decrepit mansion in Los Angeles, eager for a fresh start after the father's recent adultery and the mother's miscarriage, unaware that it's haunted.
Cast: Dylan McDermott ("Dark Blue" and "Big Shots"), Connie Britton ("Friday Night Lights"), Jessica Lange (Grey Gardens), Frances Conroy ("Six Feet Under"), Denis O'Hare ("True Blood"), Taissa Farmiga, Evan Peters (Kick-Ass), Alex Breckenridge ("True Blood" and "Life Unexpected"), Jamie Brewer
Why Watch: Because you've always wanted to watch movies like The Last House on the Left on an endless loop.

OCTOBER 7, FRIDAY
10pm "Sanctuary" (SYFY)

OCTOBER 10, MONDAY
9pm "Bored to Death" (HBO)
This Season: Zach Woods ("The Office") will play Ray's hilariously dorky super-fan.
9:30pm "Enlightened" (HBO)
Plot: The story of Amy, a self-destructive executive, who, after a very public breakdown and a subsequent philosophical awakening in rehab, tries to get her life back together, while struggling with keeping her reproachful mom (Dern's real mom Ladd), loutish druggie ex (Wilson), and megaconglomerate employer virtuous.
Cast: Laura Dern (Jurassic Park), Luke Wilson, Diane Ladd (Inland Empire), Timm Sharp ("Til Death"), Amy Hill (50 First Dates), Charles Esten ("Big Love" and "ER")
Why Watch: Because we all have a breaking point and getting a guide to recovering from it couldn't hurt.

OCTOBER 11, TUESDAY
8pm "Last Man Standing" (ABC)
Plot: The series will follow Mike Baxter, a director of marketing at a outdoor sporting goods store in Colorado, whose home life and world is dominated by women: his wife and three daughters, one of whom is a single mother.
Cast: Tim Allen, Nancy Travis ("The Bill Engvall Show"), Molly Ephraim (Paranormal Activity 2), Alexandra Krosney ("Surviving Suburbia"), Kaitlyn Dever ("Justified" and Bad Teacher), Hector Elizondo (Princess Diaries), Christoph Sanders ("Ghost Whisperer")
Why Watch: Because you wonder what Allen's "Home Improvement" character would be like if he had all girls instead of all boys.

10pm "Reed Between the Lines" (BET)
Plot: Centers on Dr. Carla Reed, a busy psychiatrist, wife and mom struggling to balance her job and her happy-but-chaotic home life with her English-professor husband Alex.
Cast: Tracee Ellis Ross ("Girlfriends"), Malcolm-Jamal Warner ("The Cosby Show")
Why Watch: They're saying it's the new "Cosby Show" and since one of its graduates is costarring, you could be swayed to believe them.

OCTOBER 12, WEDNESDAY
10pm "Psych" (USA)
This Season: In accordance with the series's knack for hiring every iconic 80s/90s actor, Molly Ringwald ("Secret Life of the American Teenager" and The Breakfast Club) will play a nurse at a mental hospital and a suspect in a case; Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon) will play a minor league baseball coach who asks for Gus's help; William Shatner (Star Trek and "Shit My Dad Says") will play Juliet's estranged, con artist father; Jason Priestly ("90210" and "Haven") will play one-half of a con artist duo; Cheech Marin will play Gus's childhood mentor in an episode that includes Mekhi Phifer as his ex a capella group member; Kristy Swanson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) will play a mysterious woman suspected of killing a man vampire-style; Malcolm McDowell ("Franklin & Bash" and "Fantasy Island") will play a British diplomat and suspect in a case; New Kid on the Block Joe McIntyre will play a buff cop who might be a masked superhero; and John Rhys-Davies (Raiders of the Lost Ark) will play a kooky art museum curator.
Biggest Scoop: Shawn, Gus, and Lassiter wake up with no memory of the evening before, Hangover-style, and have to prove their innocence in a murder case.

OCTOBER 18, TUESDAY
8:30pm "Man Up" (ABC)
Plot: The series revolves around the lives of three guys with questionable childish behavior and lifestyles who decide it's time to do the one thing they had forgotten to do: act like real men. But they need to grow up a little before that can happen, even at their age.
Cast: Christopher Moynihan ("100 Questions"), Dan Fogler (Take Me Home Tonight), Amanda Detmer ("Necessary Roughness"), Henry Simmons ("Shark"), Mather Zickel ("Reno 911!"), Teri Polo (Meet the Parents)
Why Watch: Imagine 3 Phil's ("Modern Family") at different stages of his life and half the laughs.


OCTOBER 20, THURSDAY
8:30pm "Rules of Engagement" (CBS)
Last Season: Russell was obsessed with being the dumper and not the dumpee in his relationship with Liz, and bumps into her on a single's cruise filled with old women.
This Season: The captain married them, and Liz is taking their vows a little too seriously.

OCTOBER 21, FRIDAY
10pm "Boss" (Starz)
Plot: The series follows Tom Kane, the mayor of Chicago, who has recently been diagnosed with a degenerative neurological disorder. Determined to remain in charge, Kane conceals the disease from everyone around him except his own physician, Dr. Ella Harris. Those around Kane are too busy with their own lives to notice anything unusual. Kane's marriage to his wife Meredith is nothing more than one of convenience. Kane's closest advisors begin to suspect something is wrong with the Mayor but respect him too much to ask any questions. While State Treasurer Ben Zajac is too busy cultivating his political ambitions to become the next Governor of Illinois to notice anything out of the ordinary. Kane's daughter, Emma, is the only one who who suspects something, but does she know enough to uncover his secret and what will it mean for his political career?
Cast: Kelsey Grammer ("Frasier"), Jeff Hephner ("Hellcats"), Connie Nielsen (Gladiator), Kathleen Robertson ("Beverly Hills, 90210"), Hannah Ware
Why Watch: Because you really miss "Frasier."


OCTOBER 23, SUNDAY
8pm "Once Upon a Time" (ABC)
Plot: The series is loosely inspired by the classic fairy tale stories except set in the present day. The stories hold a key to the mystery that will draw a bail bonds collector and the son that she gave up for adoption 10 years earlier to a New England town called Storybrooke, Maine. This town is actually a parallel world in which fairy tale characters look like normal people and don't remember their true identities or anything about their true lives. It's up to the bail bonds collector to save these characters and give them back the happy ending a wicked witch stole from them.
Cast: Jennifer Morrison ("How I Met Your Mother" and "House"), Jared Gilmore ("Mad Men"), Lana Parrilla ("Swingtown" and "Spin City"), Robert Carlyle ("SGU Stargate Universe"), Ginnifer Goodwin, Joshua Dallas (Thor), Jamie Dornan (Marie Antoinette), Raphael Sbarge ("Prison Break"),  Giancarlo Esposito ("Breaking Bad")
Why Watch: If hearing "happily ever after" was never enough for you as a kid, you'll get to see what happens when that happy ending is stripped away and not even Prince Charming can save the day. Not only will a modern hero be their only salvation, but a female one at that. Most fairytale reimaginings just make the story darker, but this one changes the playing field.


OCTOBER 27, THURSDAY
10pm "Beavis and Butt-head" (MTV)
Plot: The show centers on two socially awkward, rock/metal-loving teenage delinquents, Beavis and Butt-head. Their most common shared activity is watching music videos. Despite having no experience with women, they're obsessed with sex. Each episode features a few interstitial scenes in which they view videos in this manner with the rest of the episode depicting them embarking on some scheme or adventure. They attend Highland High School, where their teachers are often at a loss as to how to deal with them, although in many episodes they just skip school. They have little remorse for their actions. They tend to survive without serious consequences, in contrast to those around them.
Why Watch: Because "South Park" was getting too smart for you and you miss your M-T-V too.

10:30pm "Good Vibes" (MTV)
Plot: Transplanted Jersey boy, Mondo, and his best bud, Woodie, are on a mission to surf the biggest waves, crash the wildest parties and chase the prettiest girls in Playa Del Toro, a California beach town where bikinis rule and the vibe is an endless summer.
Cast: Josh Gad (Love and Other Drugs), Adam Brody ("The O.C."), Debi Mazar ("Entourage"), Tony Hale ("Arrested Development" and Happythankyoumoreplease), Olivia Thirlby (No Strings Attached and The Wackness), Jake Busey, Danny McBride (30 Minutes or Less and Your Highness) Alan Tudyk (Transformers: Dark of the Moon and "Dollhouse")
Why Watch: It makes fun of our generation's obsessions and pop culture idiosyncrasies.

OCTOBER 28, FRIDAY
8pm "Chuck" (NBC)
Last Season: After Sarah almost died, Chuck and Sarah got married, he lost the Intersect, they were dismissed from government service, and given ownership of Volkoff Industries, which they used to buy the Buy More and the secret Castle base underneath it. After deciding to start their own spy business with Casey and Morgan, Morgan accidentally downloads the Intersect into his brain.
This Season: Chuck and the gang start Carmichael Industries, a spy company. Without the Intersect, Chuck has to rely on his cleverness to succeed in the field, while also acting as Morgan's handler the way Sarah once did for him. Speaking of Morgan, he's enjoying his new "powers" a little too much, transforming himself into an ass-kicking machine, always ready for a fight. Now that Ellie knows about Chuck's secret life, it'll become more of a family business. They'll also have some competition in the market, and said competition will have a female leader that will peak Casey's interest. The producers delivered yet again on the geektastic casting by getting Carrie-Anne Moss (Matrix). The Buy More will remain the hub for their operations, but it'll also be their funding, which means that they'll only be as well-funded as the store is. Keep your eyes peeled for a cameo by Danny Pudi ("Community").
Biggest Scoop: One of the major characters will die.

9pm "Grimm" (NBC)
Plot: Set in present-day Portland, Oregon, the series puts a new twist on the stories of the Brothers Grimm in which a homicide detective learns that he is a descendant of a group of hunters known as "Grimms," who fight to keep humanity safe from the supernatural creatures of the world. Upon learning of his destiny and that he is the last of his kind, he has to protect every living soul from the sinister storybook characters that have infiltrated the real world.
Cast: David Giuntoli ("Privileged"), Russell Hornsby ("Lincoln Heights"), Bitsie Tulloch ("Quarterlife"), Silas Weir Mitchell ("My Name is Earl"), Sasha Roiz ("Caprica"), Reggie Lee ("Persons Unknown" and "Prison Break")
Why Watch: Reimaginings of fairytales have become very popular lately, and this is a chance to get a weekly dose of the darker side of every legend you heard of as a child. The pilot suggests that the series will be 80% police procedural 20% supernatural. The suspects and the detective will be based in fiction but his methods and surroundings are pure reality. It's a good balance for the viewer who's not a huge fan of fantasy.


OCTOBER 30, SUNDAY
8:30pm "Allen Gregory" (FOX)
Plot: A super smart seven-year-old is forced to attend public school after one of his two dads makes bad investments.
Cast: Jonah Hill, French Stewart ("3rd Rock from the Sun"), Nat Faxon (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story), Joy Osmanski ("True Jackson, VP")
Why Watch: He's an obnoxious little prick that reminds me of an older Stewey ("Family Guy") minus the attempts at world domination.


NOVEMBER 3, THURSDAY
9pm "Bones" (FOX)
Last Season: Brennan told Booth that she was pregnant with his baby, and Angela and Hodgins had their baby.
This Season: Brennan will attempt to still do her job despite the fact that she's in her second trimester. She and Booth will struggle with deciding how they'll raise their child, especially since they haven't moved in together yet. Tina Majorino will return as Booth's new sidekick, Special Agent Genny Shaw. But she won't be his only back-up when Brennan takes maternity leave. Sweets will be all too excited to step in. During it's midseason break we'll see some of the cast members on "The Finder," its temporary replacement.
Biggest Scoop: The season's big baddie is a man named Pelant, who "fancies himself a 'hacktivist,' and is currently under house arrest for—among other techy transgressions—shutting down the DoD’s communications network and putting soldiers' lives at risk. But as testament to his craftiness, even though an ankle monitor keeps him from stepping past his front lawn and despite the fact he’s got no Internet (the horror!), Pelant is somehow carrying out a murdering spree."

NOVEMBER 30, TUESDAY
9:30pm "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" (FOX)
Plot: The show will follow two mothers who fear their daughters are turning into the kind of girls who tormented them in high school. Annie Watson (Pressly) grew up in an ultra-strict conservative family, and begins to notice that she has allowed her daughter Sophie (Lauren) to do what she wants to do, which she takes advantage of by embarrassing and mocking her mother. Meanwhile, best friend Nikki Miller (Finneran) grew up unpopular and overweight, reinvented herself as a Southern Belle, and begins to notice how manipulative her daughter Mackenzie (Dee) has become. Even the ex-husbands are not much of a father figure: Annie's ex Matt (Sheffer) is too clueless, prompting his lawyer brother Jack (Rahm) to step in (and crush on) while Nikki's ex Gary (Coleman) is letting their complicated relationship become more complicated in the parenting department.
Cast: Jaime Pressly ("My Name is Earl"), Katie Finneran, Kristi Lauren, Aisha Dee, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Chad Coleman ("The Wire"), Kevin Rahm ("Desperate Housewives"), Rosa Blasi ("Make It or Break It")
Why Watch: Because it's like watching that scene from Mean Girls where Rachel McAdams excludes her desperate-to-be-liked mom (Amy Poehler), except this time the mother isn't enjoying it.

*All plots cribbed from Wikipedia, IMDb, and Entertainment Weekly.

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