Big Bang Theory
Fave line: Sheldon gets fired and Leonard calls his mom to talk him down from his midlife crisis. To our amusement it turns out the nerd's mom is a super religious red neck. And this is her attempt at common courtesy towards people of other religions, like his Islamic friend: "I made chicken. I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic." That's one of those "Did I just hear that?" moments.
Chuck
I love that they're sticking to the 90% playful 10% action formula that they started with. My favorite line by Chuck was a cheap shot: he called a criminal dressed in a thong and covered in hair, Senor Wookie. Oh yes, I'm that easy. But John actually got the best laugh from me when he lectured some goon on smoking, saying "Studies indicate that smoking can be hazardous to your health. Pick up a paper. From the 60s." Then he chuckles at his own joke like the douchebag that he is. Easily, the nicest douchebag on television. His chemistry with Sarah is on the brother-sister level. In this episode, we meet a foxy vixen who's sort of Sarah's bff and who is definitely John's wet dream. So when she chains him to the bed half naked and leaves him stranded, it's only fitting that Sarah snap a pic with her cellphone before untieing him. The real chemistry is supposed to be between Sarah and Chuck, even though critics and viewers don't seem to be feeling the love. The writers must've picked up on that since throughout the episode not only was Chuck's sister saying Sarah's hot for him, but her bff was too. Side note: I now realize who Morgan reminds me of: a dark-haired Seth..no not Seth Cohen...Seth Green.
Reaper
Fave line: The boys watched a magician murder someone and Sock's response to that experience was: "You think seeing Scarface all those times we'd be better prepared for that."
Favorite scene: When Sam complains about a hallucination he has where someone kills him, Sock patronizes him by offering a piggy back ride to cheer him up.
Favorite subplot: Ben's obsession with the vessel, which is in the shape of a dove that he names Winston. He talks slowly to it and cuddles with it, and even goes so far as to threaten Sock when he tries to nudge him down from The Work Bench's ceiling with a wrench, saying, "I'll cut you where you stand."
Creepiest scene: When the devil introduces him to his newest project there are apples strewn around the car wreck. Sam is complaining about not having vacation time and he reminds him who's boss by almost killing him with two trucks. He picks an apple up and takes a bite. It's sort of a jab at the Adam & Eve story--fearless enough to defy God.
Bionic Woman
This episode we learn that bionic people only have 5 years to live--just like a computer. Hell, after 2 years you might need to upgrade your laptop, cell phone, Palm Pilot, iPod, and game console, so it's only natural that they'd have to update their killing machine. Unfortunately, since this operation was not through a volunteer program, Jamie is none to pleased. However, Jonas did bring up a good point. Five years is a lifetime in technology and perhaps they will find a way to fix her. Although it won't be with the help of the chip with all of Nick's unauthorized research on it, because apparently Jamie will trust anyone who either saves her or whines a little. Jonas was unceremoniously informed that Jamie isn't Sarah. She's not going to murder people on command. And we learn that he didn't know Will as well as he thought he did. Meanwhile, Jamie comes to terms with being a horrible sister who lies. Maybe she should focus on learning how to lie instead of being annoyed that she's doing it badly. The whole love story between Jae and Sara is way too bizarre to entertain. But for some odd reason he wants her back. You shot her. It's not like it's your choice.
Favorite line: Nathan, her repair man, is trying to patch up her broken toe and she gets all freaked cause he's staring at her toe. She says, "What? Do you have a foot fetish?" And he responds, "Actually, no Jamie. I'm pretty much just a simple boob man."
Life
This episode we learn that Rachel Saybolt, the little girl who witnessed the crime, is no where to be found because her social service file was apparently misplaced. And maybe it's best she stays missing since the file he did get has drawings of a terrifying (and abstract portrayal) of the murderer, which means she can identify him. And I'm assuming since his face was black in the drawing that the man was black, unless at such a young age she understood the symbolism of the color black. The file also showed that every question they asked her she ignored. So either someone told her to shut up or she's scared shitless. We knew that Charlie was friends with her father, but we learn that they use to run a bar together. The old black guy who shows up every episode preaching that Charlie is the murderer becomes even more suspicious, because when he goes home to find Charlie waiting patiently, he doesn't flinch. Granted the man is drunk 90% of the time, but if you really think he's a murderer wouldn't you be a little afraid?
As for Charlie and Dani's dynamic, even though I thought she was warming to him in the last episode, she claimed that she did not call him her partner in the heat of the moment while arresting a suspect. She so did. But it's fun when she insults him, so she can deny it all she wants. Charlie got so attached to one of their suspects/witnesses that he said: "If he was a cowboy, he'd be my goofy sidekick," and she responded, "Kinda like you're mine?" But there's no chance they'll resolve all of this sexual tension in this season, since it seems he's holding a torch for his married attorney, Constance. Yeah, I was shocked too. I wanted to punch her when she uttered this lame line: "I was looking for you and I didn't know it, and now you're here and I can't have you." What? You've never heard of divorce? Then she has the balls to say that because he's stuck on finding this girl and solving the case, it's like he's still in prison. Translation: I got you out of jail, and I still can't have sex with you. I rather see more interactions with his ex-wife. I love the tension.
Also, I love it when supporting characters get juicy lines:
An obnoxious witness in a crime patronizes his ditzy wife with: "Hypocrite...my, my has somebody been reading?"
Charlie takes the hobo who witnessed the crime home with him and he doesn't exactly mesh well with Ted, so he says: "You oughta grow trees outside--give you privacy...for when you kill Ted."
Heroes
I love this show, but this episode had me all messed up. First off, there was less Peter and Hiro action, which is always disconcerting. (Although I'm excited about Kristen Bell finally making her debut next week.) Instead, I get the selfish and naive Claire, who I hope gets burned by her superboy, West. He's just way too cheesy to be realistic. And his logical method for telling a believable lie wasn't something that a teenager would come up with--more like a professional liar. Then there was the fact that Sylar has met his new victims, Maya and Alejandro. NO! Why can't he lose sometimes? Why is it that every person he meets he has to kill? I get it. He's a super power-having serial killer. Does no one know how to fight back? I mean, other than Peter and Mohinder. I just checked IMDb to get a couple names and it seems that Alejandro has 7 episodes in the bag and Maya has 4, which would suggest that Maya, the virus, gets killed and it's up to Alejandro to cure those that Sylar infects. Oh friggin please. Spare me.
What I did like about this episode though was that Angela Petrelli is going to jail (who cares why), Micah is still the sweet natured kid who wishes he could fix people instead of machines, the new hero, Monica, is shaping up to be New Orleans' Batgirl with her mimicking abilities, and, best of all, the mystery just got way more interesting. The photograph that's been floating around in pieces since the beginning of the season has finally been shown in its entirety. In it we see familiar faces and faces we'll surely see in the future (none of which that I memorized). One face that takes the cake is Matt's dad--the man in Molly's nightmare. I think after seeing him trap Molly in her own consciouness, he most certainly got his telepathy powers from his father. This is going to be good. Real good. And hopefully the preview clip of his ex-wife returning with his baby sprouts something juicy.
Grey's Anatomy
Let's see, George's running around looking like an elf with his head cut off and the ancient intern is making fun of all the things viewers and critics make fun of Grey's for. He laughs at the nicknames (McSteamy), overuses "seriously," and mocks Meredith when she tells him to focus on medicine instead of love just about the time when she isn't. Although all of that, plus Izzie and Callie's showdown, was entertaining, the most interesting part of this episode was actually when Alex went off on Izzie. At first, I thought he was just being mean about her decision to fall in love with George. You know, "how can you fall for that dweeb?" type thing. But he was really really offended that she would say she wasn't ready for another relationship after Denny and then go ahead and sleep with George. Who knew the guy who slept with Addison and "fell in love" with Ava, actually gave a crap what she was doing with her heart? He was mostly offended that she told him so nonchalantly, like he was a "chick friend" and it wouldn't hurt him. That moment was almost as good as when Derek forfeited a weekend of sex because he was tired of being treated like a fling, saying: "I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime." He pretty much told her that he knew she was just a kid and he was willing to wait till she grew up and started wanting what he wanted. But he made no promises that if he were to find someone else along the way that he'd hold out. *Cue the dramatic music.*
Big Shots
The boys try to help Duncan kick his cheating habit. When he quits trying to be celibate in a room full of models at Fashion Week, they run to check on him, which is a little uncharacteristic. Most guys would just let him deal on his own. Seconds later they ask if they can stay and they become overjoyed when he agrees. That's more like it.
Favorite line: "Isn't there a rule about monogamy? If you sleep with one person and wait 12 hours, it's safe to sleep with someone else?" asks Duncan. "That's a half hour," answers Karl. "Yeah, and that's swimming, not sex," corrects Brody.
Women's Murder Club
Angie Harmon is really bad at being sarcastic. She's extremely rigid. Her character, on the other hand, is bad at telling lies. When she sees her ex-husband half-naked with his fiance, she gets annoyed because he doesn't react nervously. But he was cool as a cucumber. The essence of how commitment-phobic some of these girls are was shown when Jill told her boyfriend she had a "getaway box," which is basically filled with a few basic necessities in case she wants out of their relationship without going back to their apartment. Who thinks of that?
Men in Trees
I loved the metaphor in this episode: A person is like a stew. As there is one ingredient that would make it taste delicious, there is one person out there that completes another. Also, Patrick had a little symoblic moment. He tried to change his last name, which is Bachelor. That makes sense since he's not a bachelor anymore and he's getting married. It's like he's shedding the last thing that ties him to the single life.
Friday Night Lights
I, once again, love this show. Anywayz, in this episode the coach got suckered into coming back to town and ditching his crappy job. The fact that Glenn, the science teacher, is filling in where he can't probably factored into that decision. I loved the double entendre he said, "I don't want Glenn over at the house fixing my wife's ice box." The coach and Jason share a common dilemma. They're both great football coaches, but their superiors underappreciate them. Unfortunately, Jason's quitting decision takes him on a trip to Mexico for an experimental operation. I guess I'm a little happy that he's taking Tim with him. It's about time those boys started being friends again.
Gossip Girl
Oh, how I miss Chuck. The resident douchebag was MIA for this episode, giving Blair time to screw around with Jenny, and Dan an opportunity to have his second date with Serena. For some bizarre reason he wanted it to be perfect. He never made an effort like that before. It felt very forced. So forced in fact that he mistook Serena for some preppy bitch who wanted to dine at a fancy restaurant. Clearly he doesn't understand why she likes him. Meanwhile, her mom is inadvertently making the moves on his dad. That's odd, since she doesn't approve of him dating her daughter. He got so tongue-tied in her presence that he actually blurted this out: "My mom used to say, 'There's never a word I met that I didn't like.'" Duly noted. The person who should actually be monitored is Jenny, who learned how to drink like a future alcoholic socialite, party like an underaged diva, cause trouble like a self-righteous bitch, and lie like...Blair. I believe the narrator's exact words were that she went from "Brady to Britney." She even got a nickname: Lil J. Gossip girl's right: "You can't save a damsel if she loves her distress."
Journeyman
This episode we learn two important tidbits about Dan's special skill: 1) Anything goes: which means he can kill someone if he wants to, just as long as he gets the job done. 2) A man named Elliot might be able to explain a lot more to him, since he called him in the past from the present. Also, Elliot new Dan's father, which could mean that his father used to do what he did too.
Cavemen
This episode was dedicated to that inane human practice of commercialism and fads. The caveboys got addicted to a yogurt place that's very similar to that famous LA place Pinkberry. Nick's response to why he would eat at place he thought was a lame fad, "So I know what to hate." So true. We also got to see our first cavegirl. Nick, the pessimist, actually falls for her. "I know cave women and she is the real deal. None of this Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants mumbo jumbo, dancing around, listening to motown songs, and singing into their spoons... Cavewomen know what they want." No he just didn't. It's obvious Nick is one of those guys who likes to get kicked around by his women. After they have sex, she says, "I'm going to take a shower. I feel dirty and unsatisfied." And he sighs, exclaiming: "There goes the mother of my children." She's so bitchy that when she goes to the movies, she demands silence, saying "The baby cries, the mommy dies." Oh, and don't obstruct her view. She told the guy in front of her: "Slouch down or I'll break the top of you off." Andy, fresh out of a relationship, is so ready to get back into dating that he tells Nick to ask her if she has a friend for him during foreplay. He's a very special boy. She gets so into getting her friend a date that when he renegs and says he's gay, she tries to make him kiss a gay guy to prove it. We also get to hear the derrogatory name they call us humans: smoothie. Why smoothie you ask? Because we're not covered in body hair. Hmm.
Carpooler
Cindy, Dougie's wife, is so surprisingly hilarious. She vibrated to a beat that she hummed to get an olive out of her dress.
Ugly Betty
I love that Justin calls gym "the unhappy hour." John Cho made a guest appearance (that might be recurring) where he said, "Sound does not stop right here," referring to the cubicle wall, which is sooo true. I wish everyone around me knew that.
Desperate Housewives
Surprisingly the funniest line of the episode was in the commercial. The snippy half of the new gay duo introduces himself and his lifestyle to Susan. She says, "I've seen a lot of cable, so I get it." And he bitchily responds, "Thank you. I hope we can live up to your stereotype." I'm going to like him.
Dirty Sexy Money
I still don't really like this show. The only thing that salvages every episode is Brian's relationship with his illegitimate son. Priceless. However, the funniest line was when Jeremy said, "I'm Pluto. I'm cold, distant, and alone." How overly dramatic, yet true.
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