TV PILOT REVIEW: USA's "Necessary Roughness"

When I first saw the promo for this series, I thought, I love "Friday Night Lights," but do I really want to watch another football show? It doesn't actually have the same tone as "Friday Night Lights," and there's no implication that there will be inspiring pre- or post-game speeches, which is what I like the most about sports shows. It seemed more like it would be a lighter version of HBO's "In Treatment," and the therapy procedural is one of my least favorite types of series. Then I thought, I have no clue who this actress is and even though there are three hot actors in it, that cannot be my sole reason for tolerating it. Ultimately, I decided that I'd give it a shot to see if there was more to it than the promos suggested. It turns out it is like "Friday Night Lights," if the coach's wife Tammy was the lead and her husband was a cheating, broke bastard, who forced her to postpone her career ambitions so that he could bolster his own and she could take care of their kids.

The pilot wastes no time immersing you into Dani's (Callie Thorne from "Rescue Me") way of life. In the span of five minutes, you learn that she's an attentive mother with a keen eye for mischief, an impressive therapist, who helps people physically by helping them emotionally, and a strong-willed woman, who values herself enough not to forgive a man who slept with several women in their bed and kept souvenirs on his phone. As the episode progresses, you learn that she has an Italian temper to match her Jersey accent. She's not one to back down from a fight, not when it's with her husband for the custody of the kids, when it's with her daughter regarding her truancy, or with a new employer who thinks he can compromise her ethics for a price. One of the best lines last night was when the coach asked for a refund and she replied, "If you would like a moneyback guarantee, then go buy a washing machine." Like I said after watching "Suits," the USA Network is really good at giving you the full scope of a character—both the good and the bad. As a result, it endears the viewer to them, because their unapologetically raw and realistic.

Adding to the fun are a cast of decent supporting characters. Craig Bierko ("Unhitched") plays Ray, her sleazy husband, who'll do everything in his power to not pay alimony and child support under the guise of "still loving her." Concetta Tomei ("Providence") plays her hilarious mom, Angela, who spends more time placing bets than she does doting on her grandkids, and imparts enough bad advice to possibly explain why Dani became a therapist. Hannah Marks ("Weeds" and Runaways) and Patrick Johnson (Mean Girls 2 and Christmas Cupid) play her rebellious teenage kids, Lindsay and Ray Jr., who skip school and invade her patients' privacy. Amanda Detmer (Final Destination) plays Jeanette, her supportive best friend, who pushes her to want more for herself. Marc Blucas (Knight & Day and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") plays Matthew, her post-filing-for-divorce one-night-stand and a sports physical therapist, who recommends her to his boss as a reliable therapist after she gives him a free session to cure him of his smoking addiction. Mehcad Brooks ("True Blood" and "Desperate Housewives") plays TK, the football pro who has deep-seated abandonment issues that affect his confidence and subsequent ability to play. Scott Cohen ("Gilmore Girls") plays Nico, the team's Fixer, who handles all indiscretions that the coaches are not legally allowed to get involved in, as well as a potential love interest for Dani. He's far more mature and evolved than Marc. He, like her, has had a lifetime of serving people who need babysitters to clean up their messes. They have a certain respect for each other that could snowball into a trusting relationship. When Marc asked her to trust him, she refuses to trust anyone after what her husband did, but she buckles when Nico asks. It almost seemed effortless. And that's what she needs: a drama-free, trustworthy gentleman.

I'm not actually a fan of female-driven USA shows. I didn't like "In Plain Sight" when it first debuted, "Fairly Legal" was seriously boring, and I only tolerate "Covert Affairs" because of Christopher Gorham (Auggie). I think this is the first time they did it right. I look forward to the procedural format, watching as the doc mends the athletically gifted and emotionally challenged, while juggling motherhood and a new single life. I really like this show and it has everything to do with Thorne. She's like a mixture of Maria Bello and Vanessa Marcil ("Las Vegas"). A volatile firecracker!

TV PILOT REVIEW: USA's "Suits"

I, like many other critics, was a little skeptical when I first heard the plot of this new USA series: Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht from Love and Other Drugs, The Spirit, and Because I Said So), a hot shot lawyer, is in search of a Harvard law grad to work as his legal associate, but instead decides to hire Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams), a desperate young guy who makes money passing the bar for law school students in order to care for his grandmother. Together they plan to fool everyone in the office into thinking he has a law degree, using his photographic memory and savvy street smarts.

It sounds like a flimsy plot, inspiring the question: Why doesn't he just go to law school or skip it and take the bar, if he's so smart? I'll give credit to the creators for answering that question pretty quickly. The reason he didn't just go to college is because he was kicked out after his best friend Trevor (Tom Lipinski) convinced him to steal a math test and sell the answers. And the reason he can't just go to law school is because, while he does remember everything that's ever happened to him and that he's ever read or learned, getting into law school isn't just about what you know, but who you know and how you apply that knowledge. And lastly, taking the bar won't solve his problem, because the firm has a strict policy of only hiring Harvard graduates.

But what makes it all work are the actors, not the technicalities. USA prides itself on being a character-driven network, placing likable and endearing personas in tricky situations, whether they're uncovering a government conspiracy ("Burn Notice") or using them to acquire the greatest treasure in history ("White Collar"). Macht is a vet when it comes to laying on the charm, but the promos don't do newbie Adams justice. You don't get the sense that he could co-run the show and keep you as enthralled as Macht, but he does. Even before they lay it on thick with the caring-for-my-grandmother subplot, you can tell that this is a path he never meant to take, and his eagerness to do better makes you root for him. He doesn't come off as too cocky, because Macht is cornering the market on that personality trait, or too nerdy, because his skill is effortless not labored. He's a very reactionary character, sizing people up first before he engages with them, sort of acting as the viewer's lens—you evaluate them as he does.

What also makes it work is the chemistry between the actors. Mike and Harvey's relationship is less bromantic, like Sean and Gus on "Psych," and more master and apprentice, like Wysocki and Evers on FOX's "Chicago Code"—and sometimes, refreshingly, like competitive equals, like Neal and Peter on "White Collar." Sometimes Mike gets schooled and sometimes Mike does the schooling. It keeps it interesting to see who'll end the episode victorious.

The resident villain of the series is Louis Litt, played by Rick Hoffman ("Samantha Who?"), who has a huge debilitating chip on his shoulder after Harvey got the promotion he'd been waiting for, so he's going to go out of his way to try to trip them both up in every episode. He amps up the suspense in the when-will-they-get-caught-and-fired department. Other possible whistle-blowers include their boss Jessica Pearson (Gina Torres from Serenity), who put Harvey through law school and acts as his platonic mentor; Rachel (Meghan Markle), the head legal aide who had her cold, defensive exterior melted by Mike's earnest eyes and no-bullshit approach; and Trevor, his ex-best friend who might have a grudge against him after he stalled a $25,000 drug deal, told his girlfriend he was a drug dealer, and callously responded to his plea of "Michael, you know I don't want to live in a world where we're not tight." with "Then kill yourself."

Their only ally is Donna (Sarah Rafferty), Harvey's assistant, who stole more scenes than Macht's dimples, snapping at Harvard grads and sardonically pretending to have predicted Harvey's desire to marry her, because of her impeccable usefulness, by having had him sign a marriage license when they first met.

You could tune in to see how long they can pull this off, but I'll be tuning in to see how these lawyers win cases by manipulating the handbook instead of throwing it out. They should've named the series Loopholes, because it defines Mike's brand new life perfectly.

TV PILOT REVIEW: TNT's "Falling Skies"

My snap judgment of TNT's new alien invasion series "Falling Skies" is that it has potential. Of course, so did "The Event" and "FlashForward." The difference is this was produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Greg Beeman ("Heroes" and "Smallville"), and written by Robert Rodat (Saving Private Ryan and The Patriot); it's on a cable network, which are notorious for not having trigger fingers when it comes to canceling new shows; and it debuted in the summer, which limits competition and allows for audience growth. The odds are technically in its favor. Its saving grace, however, will be whether it can deliver on the story.

So far we've learned that:

• there are two varieties of aliens: the Mechs (robots) and the Skitters (six-legged creatures)
• the mother ship left Earth
• the Mechs are rounding up the children and attaching what is referred to as harnesses to them, which will kill the child if removed
• there are factions of resistance in groups of 300 people: 100 soldiers guarding 200 civilians
• the soldiers are also in charge of gathering food and ammunition
• there are small rebel factions that rob from the resistance

The reason I'm tuning in next week is because there's still much more to uncover. I read somewhere that the harnesses aren't what they seem, and the season's promo insinuates that while it turns them into drones/puppets, it also cures them of their ailments. There's also the good point that one of the students made: If humans design things in their likeness, why wouldn't the aliens? What is the disconnect between the 6-legged Skitters and the 2-legged Mechs? And why did the alien they killed seem like it was trying to talk to them as it slowly died?

The promo made it seem like there's a chance that these Skitters were originally human, which makes me wonder if those harnesses are first curing the children and then mutating them into Skitters. There was also a scene in the promo where the outlaw John Pope (Colin Cunningham from "Stargate SG-1") and Matt (Maxim Knight), the son of the second in command Tom (Noah Wyle from "ER"), find a bullet that can break through the Skitters armor, suggesting there might be hope for them yet.

All of it is very intriguing, and the criminal Pope and his former feisty ally Margaret (Sarah Carter from Final Destination 2) keep it interesting too. The one thing I'd say sets it apart the most from all of those other failed alien invasion shows is that it's not about the imminent danger of some inexplicable occurrence or unforeseen species. The invasion has already happened. We're in the thick of it. It's an interesting look at how humans, especially Americans, would react if suddenly tomorrow wasn't guaranteed and they could no longer rely on politicians to keep the war on foreign soil. Of course, it's also mindless sci-fi summer fun.

TV: 2010-2011 Season Finale Chart

It's surprising how many TV shows end their seasons with the same storylines, whether it's a beautiful wedding or a cliff-hanger attempted murder. If you don't believe me, check out some of this year's season finales and find out which ones ended with the most commonly used plots:

TV PILOT REVIEW: ABC's "My Generation"

The critical consensus on ABC's newest drama, "My Generation," is that it's the first faux documentary series that's a drama. Despite the spontaneous heartfelt, tear-inducing moments on "The Office" and "Parks and Recreation," those shows are generally considered comedies. Networks have been wary about entering the drama genre with this new storytelling format, because of the difficulty of making unreal dramatic moments seem authentic. I'm not sure why this is an issue, since we're all pretty aware that all reality shows are staged and therefore considered the first dramatic faux documentaries, but let's humor them shall we.

"My Generation" is a faux documentary about a group of high school students who agreed to have a documentarian record what they were like in high school and interview them about what they expected their life would be like 10 years from now. The documentarian's aim was to show how much ten years can change a person, how much ten years can change a person's priorities, how much of what we plan never really pans out, and most importantly, how the world events of the last decade have affected an entire generation, hence the title. The second part of their commitment to the documentary requires them to be recorded again 10 years later, and this is how much they've changed:

Anders (Julian Morris from "Pretty Little Liars")
"The Rich Kid"
Past: He was determined to marry The Brain (Brenda) even though his parents didn't approve. He was also bff's with The Jock (Rolly).
Present: He gave up the fight against his parents and married The Beauty Queen (Jackie) instead. She's the perfect trophy wife: blonde, blue eyes, and willing to pretend she's happy.
Remained the Same: He's still bff's with Rolly.
Current Obstacle: He's anxious about his ex-girlfriend Brenda's return to town.

Brenda (Daniella Alonso from "One Tree Hill")
"The Brain"
Past: She was in love with The Rich Kid (Anders) and she wanted to become a scientist.
Present: After the Bush vs. Gore voting scandal, she changed her major to pre-law. She's now single and working as a legal aide in DC.
Remained the Same: She's still in love with Anders.
Current Obstacle: She's yet to find a new boyfriend, she just found out that Anders got married, and her mother just had a stroke, forcing her to return to town.

Jackie (Jaime King from "Gary Unmarried" and "The Class")
"The Beauty Queen"
Past: She was a cheerleader who aspired to be an actress.
Present: Her only acting gig was as a contestant on "The Bachelor" and she didn't get very far in the competition. She settled for marrying The Rich Kid (Anders).
Remained the Same: She's still picture-perfect.
Current Obstacle: It seems like she's trying to sleep with The Overachiever (Steven), because she feels trapped in her relationship. She envies his carefree lifestyle and ability to live without any obligations.

Rolly (Mehcad Brooks from "The Deep End" and "True Blood")
"The Jock"
Past: He was the star basketball player, who was popular with the girls, and was best friends with The Rich Kid (Anders), who he lived next door to.
Present: After 9/11, he wanted to serve his country, so he joined the army and is currently stationed in Iraq. Before he left though, he fell in love with The Punk (Dawn), they got married, and now they're expecting a little girl.
Remained the Same: He's still very athletic and still bff's with Anders.
Current Obstacle: Trying to get home to his wife and soon-to-be-born daughter safely, and trying not to get jealous of her current living situation with her ex-boyfriend, The Nerd (Kenneth).

Dawn (Kelli Garner from Going the Distance and Man of the House)
"The Punk"
Past: She was a rebellious punk/goth who was dating The Nerd (Kenneth)--for no discernible reason--and hung out with The Rock Star (The Falcon).
Present: She's waiting for her husband, The Jock (Rolly), to come home from war, and, in the mean time, living with her ex-boyfriend, Kenneth, until her baby's born. She considers him a good friend and wants him to play uncle and help her out.
Remained the Same: She still has piercings and a wild sense of style. And she still hates authority and preppy people, which include her husband's bff's wife, The Beauty Queen (Jackie).
Current Obstacle: Praying that her husband makes it home safe from Iraq.

Kenneth (Keir O'Donnell from The Wedding Crashers and When in Rome)
"The Nerd"
Past: He dated The Punk (Dawn), he was bff's with The Overachiever (Steven), and his greatest ambition was to have a big family, because he loves kids.
Present: After his dad committed suicide, he stopped being friends with The Overachiever (Steven), since it was his father's Enron involvement that bankrupted their family. He hasn't dated anyone since high school, but he teaches 4th grade, so he still gets to be around children.
Remained the Same: He's still in love with Dawn and still lets her use him...and he's still a virgin.
Current Obstacle: He just learned that he's infertile, so he'll never be able to have children of his own, making it that much harder to watch Dawn have the dream life he's always wanted and she never seemed interested in.

Steven (Michael Stahl-David from Cloverfield and "The Black Donnellys")
"The Overachiever"
Past: He wanted to be as successful as his Enron-employed dad, and he was bff's with The Nerd (Kenneth).
Present: After his father's embezzlement caused his bff's father to commit suicide and his college fund was frozen by the government, he dropped out of college, moved to Hawaii, and became a womanizing, surf-loving bartender.
Remained the Same: He still measures himself by what his father is capable of, so now he doesn't think he'll amount to anything more than a two-bit criminal or a shitty dad.
Current Obstacle: He just learned that he has a 9-year-old son with The Wallflower (Caroline) and he's not prepared to take on that responsibility at all.

Caroline (newcomer Anne Son)
"The Wallflower"
Past: She barely said anything to the cameras because she was always extremely quiet and shy. She also had a major crush on The Overachiever (Steven). So much so that she slept with him on prom night.
Present: She is the single mom of a 9-year-old, who happens to be Steven's son. Raising him on her own helped her grow a backbone. Now, she's a proud, protective mama. And she seems a little interested in The Nerd (Kenneth), who is her son's teacher.
Remained the Same: She's still an afterthought to Steven, who didn't even remember her name despite the fact that he had sex with her on prom night, which is practically an American tradition that everyone remembers.
Current Obstacle: Her son wants to meet his dad and she has to figure out a way to deal with her buried high school drama while making sure her son doesn't get scarred for life.

The Falcon (Sebastian Sozzi from Half Nelson and Choke)
"The Rock Star"
Past: He was disinterested with school because he knew that he wanted to move to New York and make it big in music.
Present: He DJ's all over America. He's a music producer and an entrepreneur. And he seems to have a drinking problem...unless drinking at all times of the day is normal for a music producer.
Remained the Same: He still lives in NYC and still loves music.
Current Obstacle: From next week's promo, it would seem as though he has some serious marital issues.

Summary of how they're all entangled present day: The Brain is still in love with The Rich Kid, who is unhappily married to The Beauty Queen, who is interested in The Overachiever, who has a kid with The Wallflower, who I think The Rock Star might develop a thing for eventually (because of her newfound sass) even though she seems to be interested in her son's teacher The Nerd, who is chastely shacking up with The (pregnant) Punk until her husband The Jock comes back from war.

All of these slowly unfolding secrets and the examination of the past decade's pop culture/current events make for both an awesome drama and a great anthropological study of a civilization not yet lost in time. But it may be that I'm only enjoying it, because this is a chronicle of my generation. I may not be 28, but I can tell you right now, what I expected to be at 18, I know I will not be at 28. Life did not turn out the way I expected--some of it for the best--and the tragedies (9/11) and advancements (Black president) I've lived through have changed my goals and my perspective tremendously.

This series is like "Real World" sponsored by Facebook--containing the best of both. Don't you want to know what happened to those high school sweathearts? What happened to your classmates who wanted to be famous? Which graduates decided to make their vote count or to fight for their country? What happened to that kid who thought he'd run a Fortune 500 company some day? Or what happened to that girl that never said a word?

I think the two most important topics the series covers are in Dawn and Kenneth's storylines. Dawn represents the 20something-year-old women in this generation who are married to soldiers. There hasn't been a large, young population of army wives since the 60s, and it's interesting to explore how that is affecting the evolution of the American family. Will there be another generation of fatherless children, young men who have to take their father's place as Man of the House, or unemployed, PTSD-afflicted fathers?

Then there's Kenneth's single status, which points out an interesting generational development. There have been several articles in the last decade on how our generation is too quick to marry and too quick to divorce, and how all those "fish in the sea" are now on the world wide web. Finding someone, in-person, has become increasingly difficult, and even though Kenneth, technically, always had that problem, it's interesting to see the "old-school" idea of the American dream (house, spouse, kids, and a dog) is a lot more difficult to achieve these days.

I consider this series a time capsule worth seeing.

GRADE: A-

TV PILOT REVIEW: NBC's "Undercovers"

Promoted as the televised version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, JJ Abrams's latest action series barely lives up to its predecessor.

While no one expected the complete allure of the scandal-boosted Brangelina to be replicated on screen, there was expectation for at least a similar dynamic. I see the potential for Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw to develop that undeniable chemistry, but as of right now, calling each other honey, getting jealous of each other's sexpionage, and kissing before every mission isn't enough. The characters needed the movie's set-up. Instead of giving "Law & Order: SVU" the two-hour premiere treatment, NBC should've greenlit a 2-hour premiere for "Undercovers." In it Abrams could've constructed a parallel storyline: the present, where they're being re-recruited, and the past, when they first met and began to fall in love. If this series is going to work, it can't just be about the missions. They need to first convince us that these two are destined so that we root for them, not only individually, but as a team. Right now, it reads as a miniseries instead of a 5+ season series. Sure, they hinted at a conspiracy around why they were really asked to return and it's pretty suspect as to why they're being given free reign, but that's still not enough to get viewers invested and make it appointment TV.

Another soar spot is the supporting cast. While the ass-kissing hero-worshipper (Ben Schwartz from "Parks & Recreation") is pretty amusing and thankfully not a bumbling idiot when it comes to his job, the addition of he catering sister (Mekia Cox from "90210") is pretty lackluster.

Even though she serves as their token civilian for future kidnappings and revelations, she also seems like an unnecessary distraction. Guest stars, famous or not, won't fill the void this supporting cast leaves. Half of Chuck's appeal is that it has a Morgan, a Casey, a Lester, a Jeff, etc. It seems like instead of "wasting" money on more actors, they've pooled all of their funds into location. One of the great aspects of the series is the cinematography, locations, and art direction—those postcard transitions are pretty clever.

Its other saving grace is that its leading actors are newbies to the mainstream market. I think one of the reasons shows like "Chuck," "Covert Affairs," "White Collar," and "Burn Notice" have done so well is because viewers like to discover new talent, and every week you're growing increasingly impressed by the actor's acting abilities. But will it be enough to compete against ABC's comedy block? I think it would've been better off running in the summer. Less competition and less pressure.

GRADE: B-

TV PILOT REVIEW: The CW's "Nikita"

Action lovers enjoy rooting for the hero, living vicariously through a rebel, and watching an outcast conquer their enemy. And for some reason they enjoy it even more when the hero is a heroine. I'm no different. I spent my childhood entranced by Sailor Moon, Rogue, Dark Angel, Sydney Bristow, Veronica Mars, and, of course, La Femme Nikita. So when I heard they were reviving the 90s badass, turning her from a Russian to an Asian, and taking her from freewheeling cable to teen-friendly CW11, I was a little skeptical—especially since the Asian in question isn't Lucy Liu, Kristin Kreuk ("Smallville"), or even Kelly Hu (Scorpion King), but the relatively unknown Maggie Q.

I'm not saying the 31-year-old Polish/Irish/Vietnamese/Hawaiian doesn't have skills. I saw her kick John McClane's ass in Live Free or Die Hard, and hold her own playing a seductive stranger opposite Ethan Hawke in the vignette romance New York, I Love You. I just didn't think she could carry a series all on her own, having never headlined a film or even had a major supporting role in her entire career. I was wrong.

I haven't seen "La Femme Nikita" in years, but from what I can remember, this new incarnation is pretty much the same. This Nikita was also recruited by Division after being framed by them for murder. They offer to save her from the death penalty if she agrees to perform missions and assassinations for them. If she should ever try to leave Division, they'll kill her. When her boyfriend proposed, she tried to get her team leader Michael (Shane West from "ER" and A Walk to Remember) to let her go. Instead, Division killed her boyfriend and ordered Michael to dispose of her mid-mission. He couldn't do it. In the original, Michael was the one she falls for, and considering this new Michael's inability to kill her in the past and in the pilot, I'm guessing that's where they're headed...unless he was the one who killed her fiancee, of course.

Because of this betrayal, she's vowed to take Division down, and she doesn't plan on doing it alone. This is the part of the series that I really like, and the part that explains why it's on CW11. She wants to not only turn Michael and her former tech geek pal Birkoff (Aaron Stanford from X-Men: The Last Stand) into her allies, but free all of Division's new teenage recruits. And the person who's going to help her do that is their newest recruit, Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca from Kick-Ass and "Desperate Housewives"), a homeless teenager caught stealing prescription drugs and framed for murdering an employee. The division discovered that she was a drug-addicted Russian orphan transported to America on a barge as a child. Still hooked, she steals bags full of drugs with her homeless friend Ronnie to maintain her high. She's got nothing to lose and no one will miss her, so she's a perfect candidate. Except what she really is is a mole. Nikita already got to her. She already trained her. Taught her how to lie. Taught her how to hack. Taught her how to fight. And together, they're going to destroy Division from the inside out. That sounds awesome and teen-friendly.

I'm already excited to learn everyone's backstory and motives for being as driven as they are, and to see where their ambition will take them. Why does Alex want to help Nikita? Did Division inadvertently destroy her life in the past? Why does Jaden (Tiffany Hines from "Bones"), her fellow agent 3-months into the year-long program, act like such a confrontational, competitive, homicidal bitch? Why is Thom (Ashton Holmes from A History of Violence and Smart People), her other fellow agent who just wrapped his year-long training and seems like a sweet guy, so determined to start murdering people? Does he really think it's for the good of the country or does he just not want to die? And how long before he falls for Alex? It all sounds very promising plotwise.

However, I do have my concerns. While Jaden and Thom served as a good example of the type of teenagers that are recruited, I hope we get to meet more. I understand that having a core cast is important, but those characters just don't jump off the screen as much as all the other ones do. West is tackling the tricky task of teetering between the cold-hearted leader and the protective friend, Stanford is your standard geeky comic relief, and Melinda Clarke's ("The O.C.") etiquette tutor slash therapist Amanda is like a jaded princess locked in a castle of corruption.

Then there's also a question of how each episode will be structured. Will it be like USA's "Covert Affairs" and "Burn Notice," where each episode has a mission that she foils? Or will she actually be taking steps each week to take them down? From next week's preview, it seems like the former, which could drag the take-down out for seasons. Of course, she can't take them down in the first season, but I do hope there will be some actual progress, and she (and the writers) won't lose focus of what she's set out to do. The best shows last the longest because of evolution. "Lost" is a great example of that, because they changed it up every season, whether it was the time period, the location, or their state of mind. Following the same formula will get stale. As much as I love Michael Westen, "Burn Notice" is already starting to lose its luster.

But for now, I'm totally on board and excited to see what these ladies are capable of.

Grade: B+

TV PILOT REVIEW: The CW's "Hellcats"

In this new CW teen dramedy, Alyson Michalka, the older half of the pop singing sisters behind 2007's "Potential Breakup Song" Aly & AJ, plays a college freshman who joins the Hellcats cheerleading squad in order to get a scholarship and eventually fulfill her dream of becoming a lawyer. Of all the young starlets in Hollywood, I'm surprised that Aly was chosen. She's proven to be a decent actress (Bandslam), but to put an entire series on the shoulders of a 20-year-old, second-rate, Disney popstar is a bit of a gamble.

Even though the series doesn't exactly have Emmy-winning actors that overshadow her lead performance, she's got a long ways to go before she's as commanding as Lea Michele ("Glee"), as lovable as Brittany Robertson ("Life Unexpected"), as relatable as Nikki Blonsky ("Huge"), or as charismatic as Spencer Grammer ("Greek"). And her cast mates are equally lackluster. Aside from her laidback eye candy bff Dan (Matt Barr from "Harper's Island" and "One Tree Hill"), who is refreshingly NOT a geek that is openly pining for her, and the charming flirt Lewis (Robbie Jones from "One Tree Hill"), she has cliches for teammates.

Savannah, the overly organized, clean-freak, girly girl who "doesn't get sarcasm," feels surprisingly out of place. She's the most cheerful person on the show. It's the perfect role for Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical), because it's basically what it would be like if Gabriella and Sharpay were to be spliced in a lab—sweet and determined. Then there's Marti's nemesis Alice (newcomer Heather Hemmens), who plans to use psychological warfare to make sure she doesn't get replaced while she recovers from a wrist injury. She's single-handedly proving that, for some, college is just a really expensive version of high school. The worst character, though, is Marti's mom, played to a kitschy degree by Gail O'Grady ("American Dreams"). I get that she needs a motivator to get out of town, but a flaky, alcoholic mom who once threw up on her at a gymnastics event? Really?

I'm not sure how they did it, but they managed to make a lamer version of ABC Family's gymnastics drama "Make It or Break It," complete with the overly competitive nemesis, the forever-optimistic teammate, the encouraging coach, the distracting/forbidden hot guys, and the flaky mom. The difference is that ABC Family knows how to tug on the heartstrings and make its characters sympathetic. I will, however, give the writers credit for not showing Marti "fly" in the pilot. It'll be a good test to determine how much the viewers really care. If they felt as amped and excited as "One Tree Hill" lovers did after its nail-biting pilot, then they've been sucked in.

Maybe it's my age showing or just the amount of TV shows I've seen with this exact formula, but I just wasn't invested in Marti's journey. The character I was more intrigued by was Coach Vanessa Hodge (Sharon Leal from Why Did I Get Married?). I really want to see if her college boyfriend Red Raymond's (Jeff Hephner from "The O.C." and "Easy Money") return will screw with her determination to get the Hellcats to nationals and save her job. He seems to have a hold over her that her boyfriend Derrick (D.B. Woodside from "24") doesn't, which could be interesting down the line.

So if the dialogue and acting get better, it could have potential to last for at least 8 seasons, since she wants to be a lawyer. And with every year, she'll have different classmates, which promises new and hopefully better actors. Not to mention, with every year she gets closer to law school, the more she'll have to figure out how to balance her town life with her college life, which could provide a lot of good meaty drama. I like sports-related TV shows and I do want to see the competitions, so I'll probably watch it until "Modern Family" comes back, or watch the reruns during the holidays.

Grade: C+

TV RECAP: "Vampire Diaries": The Arrival of Jonathan Gilbert, Stefan's Dark Side, and Jeremy's Enlightenment

It's been a while since I've recapped this series (5 episodes to be exact). I'm not bored or anything. I've just been soaking it in, waiting for something major to happen. And this week, it did. Jonathan Gilbert, Elena and Jeremy's uncle, has returned to Mystic Falls. He's rocking the same immortal ring that Alaric's wife gave him and he knows all about the brothers and Katherine. Uh-oh.

So what have the trio been up to in the last two months?

Vampires Unleashed from the Tomb
Ok, so apparently Bonnie's grandmother died for nothing, because they didn't successfully lock up the tomb. So all 30 or so vampires caged within escaped. I wish they would've explored their fish-out-of-water experience more. It's been more than a hundred years since they've roamed the Earth. They have to be confused about technology, stop lights, cars, and even clothes. It would've been fun to see the lost vamp Harper use an iPhone. lol Since Anna helped her mom out of the tomb and nursed her back to health, Pearl set up shop in an entranced woman's home so that all of the vampires would have a safe haven. She has a plan. She wants to reintegrate into the town, get rid of all of the vervane, and dissolve the makeshift vampire task force. Of course, it's not going to be easy, especially with impulsive and uncontrollable vampires on her hands. Luckily, Damon and Alaric killed more than half of them when they went to rescue Stefan, who got kidnapped and tortured by one of Pearl's vengeance-seeking goons.

Stefan has a Dark Side & Elena prefers Damon's
In the first half of the season, Damon revealed that one of the reasons he returned to town was to "get his brother back." He wanted them to have fun like they used to. He implied that there was a time when Stefan was as wild and crazy as he was. And after this week's episode, we can see that that may have been a possibility. When Elena saved him from Pearl's basement, his kidnapper came after them. The only way to overpower him was to get his energy back up. He had to feed on Elena. The problem is Stefan hasn't had human blood in years, possibly decades. Now he has to re-ween himself off the concentrated nectar that seduces him with every drop. In order to subdue the hunger, he has to get drunk. While he's a little more loose and fun when he's drunk, he's also not Stefan. He's like a diluted version of Damon, which apparently Elena doesn't find attractive. Actually, it's not that she finds Damon's personality unattractive. It's that she's afraid that the person she's in love with doesn't really exist. She, like most normal human beings, prefers consistency. I think that's why next week, when Damon has to fill in for a suffering Stefan as her dance partner at a pageant, they share a little bit of a moment. Maybe Damon hasn't always been honest with her, but he's always been true to who he is. Besides, it's better to be secretly kind than secretly evil. Who knows? Maybe when Katherine returns, she'll end up with Stefan, and Damon will gladly stay with Elena. Of course, the only way that'll be plausible is if he stops treating her like his little sister. Curling up on her bed and sifting through her underwear drawer is a start.

Jeremy Knows Everything! (I think...)
Poor, poor Jeremy. He's like a dog with a bone. When he gets his teeth into something, he just won't let it go. I thought Damon removed all longing for Vicki from his system, but if he did, it didn't really work. It turns out Jeremy was only hanging out with Anna, after realizing she was a vampire, because he wanted to be turned into a vampire, so he could be with Vicki. Seriously? Not only was that a douche move for seducing a girl into helping him reunite with the girl he's obsessed with, but it's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard. Thankfully, Anna didn't snap his neck right there. She was probably bummed that her mom was somewhat right about the Gilbert men. Pearl used to be in love with one of his ancestors, but he rejected her when he realized she was a vampire. She has an understandable grudge against the entire family, and therefore, would never approve of her daughter dating or even turning one of them. But at least Jeremy didn't throw her to the wolves. It's an improvement. All of this infatuation with being reunited with Vicki, led Jeremy down a very enlightening path. After Caroline discovers Vicki's body in the woods and any idea of being reunited with her dissolves, his new mission is to investigate whether or not it was a murder. And in the process, he discovers that his sister has been keeping secrets from him. Not only did she know that Vicki was a vampire and that she was dead, but if he read as much of the journal as he should've and if she wrote down how Vicki died, then he should know by now that the Salvatore brothers are vampires too. I don't know what this means for their relationship, other than he will never trust her again, but I hope it doesn't lead him to join the sheriff and the committee against everyone, including Anna, tragically repeating history.

The Arrival of Jonathan Gilbert
I am always creeped out when David Anders ("Heroes") pops up on the screen. They cast Jonathan perfectly. And he had quite the introduction. Here are all of the things we learned about him:
1) He's slept with his sister-in-law Jenna, and she hates him.
2) He can't die, just like Alaric, because of a ring that he wears. He gave Elena's mom the ring that she gave Alaric. (I wonder if that means he's Elena's real father.) The ring he wears is Elena's dad's, which means that he knew about the vampires too.
3) He's the one who sent Elena's mom to see Damon.
4) He either knows Katherine or all about her.
5) He's come to Mystic Falls to expunge the town of all of its new vampires and he has practice hunting them down. But it seems like he has a secret agenda as well. According to the future episode synopsis on TV.com, Damon and Alaric have to find a "mysterious invention" before Jonathan does. Hmmm, I wonder if it turns vampires into humans or worse: identifies them.
While all of that is truly interesting, I'm most excited about watching Jonathan's influence on Jeremy. It seems like vampire hunting is a tradition passed down to the men in the Gilbert family, and Jonathan implied that he intended on filling him in on everything his ancestors were involved in. Will he be met with resistance or will Jeremy gladly take up the gauntlet?

Matt's Mom is a HMILF
(HM = hot mess)

Ladies and gentleman, Julie Cooper's ("The O.C.") in the house!!! Melinda Clarke drunkenly stumbled into the series to play cookie-cutter Matt's alcoholic and promiscuous mom. So far she's proven that she's not only interested in every hot guy in town, but they are likely to get in her pants after only five minutes (or even five seconds) of conversation. She makes her daughter look like a girl scout. I thought it was pretty obvious that she'd go after Damon, but then she pretty much crossed the line when she started making out with Matt's bff/Vicki's ex-boyfriend Tyler. I don't blame Matt for kicking her out. If she wants to change, then she can do it somewhere else and then come back. Of course, whenever you kick someone out in the middle of the night, there's no guarantee that they'll survive in that town.

Tyler is becoming interesting
When Matt caught Tyler slobbering all over his drunken mom, he kicked his ass...or at least he tried to. Turns out Tyler has a very peculiar amount of strength that he can't explain. His rage baffles him and daddy wants him to keep it in check. I dunno. Maybe he's like Vicki. Maybe he was bit by a vamp and if he dies, he'll become one. Or maybe Elena isn't the only orphan in town, and his real parents aren't exactly normal. Either way, I'm excited to find out what abomination he turns out to be and, of course, what he'll do with that information. He strikes me as more of Damon-opportunist than a Stefan-martyr. Although, he did surprise me when he said that he didn't feel like he deserved to mourn Vicki, because he was such a jerk to her. That was very sensitive of him to reveal, and, let's be honest, very accurate.

This season has been pretty awesome and with only there episodes left, there's promise for more explosive scenes. Bonnie's returning, Gilbert is a man-on-a-mission, and I'm pretty sure I spotted Damon feeding on Caroline...or maybe that was Stefan. Hmm.

TV RECAP: "Vampire Diaries": Anna's Agenda, Alaric's Search, and Stefan's Betrayal

This week wasn't as productive as last week, but there were still a few juicy secrets divulged.

Alaric's Search
I couldn't understand why Alaric hadn't killed Damon yet. Granted, after attacking Stefan with a stake and failing miserably, it's obvious he's not strong enough to go toe-to-toe with him yet, but he hasn't even made an attempt. Instead, he's been chasing a diary and photocopying it like he's writing a thesis. Luckily, after a little sit down with a menacing-but-merciful Stefan, we learned that even though Alaric saw Damon feed on his wife, he has no proof that she's dead. Damon heard him coming and disappeared with her body, so he could've stashed her lifeless corpse in the woods, or he could've turned her and she never went back home. Either way, Alaric just wants to know where she is. Riiiight...but what does that have to do with a century-old journal? I have no idea. He chalked it up to "research." Doesn't that sound shady? I mean, who does extra credit anyway?

Anna's Agenda
My theory was right. Anna does intend on freeing someone from the tomb, her mother Pearl (Kelly Hu from The Scorpion King). She turned Ben recently so that she could use him to seduce Bonnie. I thought they were in love, but he's just a needy newbie, who felt insecure about having no future and is subsequently willing to do whatever she asks since she gave him a new purpose in life. While he may be interested in her and a bit jealous of Jeremy, she isn't even a little bit interested in him. Her mind is completely focused on freeing her mom. When Damon remembered who she was and confronted her, she admitted they had a mutual agenda and told him what she had discovered. She read Elena's uncle's journal, which she stole from Alaric, and learned that the location of the witch's book, which contains the reversal spell, was hidden in his father's tomb. Since she thought that her olive branch would buy her a seat on his free the vampires committee, he corrected her by telling her that he preferred to work alone. I'm not sure if she later kidnaps Elena for leverage or to use her in the spell, but I am sure that Ben kidnapped Bonnie because she didn't recover from her fear quick enough after she spontaneously kissed him and realized he was a vampire. Bonnie's supernatural gifts will probably reignite—pun intended—when she starts to feel that death is imminent, but Elena's fate is looking a little more grim. 

Stefan's Betrayal
See Stefan told Damon that he couldn't find the journal, which is why he used Jeremy to get to Anna. But the truth was that Stefan borrowed Alaric's photocopy of the journal, and together he and Elena figured out the same thing Anna eventually told Damon. By the time he got to the grave, they'd already done all the digging and the book was inches from the fire. Damon grabbed Elena, bit his wrist, and fed her his blood, threatening to snap Elena's neck and make her both of their girlfriend if he destroyed the book. Stefan made the trade, Damon freed her, and later Stefan reassured Elena that soon the blood would be out of her system and she wouldn't be at risk of turning into a vamp. But then she was kidnapped by murderous, vengeful vampires, putting her at risk once again.

In the next episode, Stefan goes to Damon for help to get her back, but Damon responds by saying that he hopes Elena dies. While it's true that most of that hatred is geared towards Stefan, especially since we learned in this episode that it's his fault Katherine was outed as a vamp and subsequently entombed, the rest of the anger was reserved for Elena. He thought he could trust her, that they'd truly formed a bond. When he arrived at the grave, he looked as hurt and betrayed as a person with a soul. He thought she understood his intentions and respected his love for Katherine. Of course, he should've realized that her love for Stefan is just as strong and devious. While I don't necessarily blame Elena for her betrayal, I do look at Stefan in a new light now. He asked his father hypothetically whether there might be good vampires, leading him to deduce that he was referring to Katherine. He put vervane in Stefan's food and waited to see Katherine react. When she convulsed one night, he burst into the room and ordered Stefan to get the sheriff. Being the good, obedient son that he was, he followed the orders. And when Damon arrived to see them carrying her out and shoving her into a wagon, he turned to Stefan and solidified the rift between them. Earlier in the episode, Stefan warned Elena not to fall for Damon's attempt at romantic heroism, because he has never been trustworthy. But it turns out that Stefan was the one who started the vicious circle of betrayal, therefore Damon has every right to betray him forever more.

Also, when their father burst in to finger Katherine as a vampire, he told Stefan that he must've been compelled into loving Katherine, and for a second it seemed like Stefan was considering it. Perhaps that's why he believes it now. I wonder, since she turned them, if Katherine can compel them even though they are vampires now. I imagine she won't want to share them with Elena and it'll be the only way to make sure of that. Either way, I'm a little bummed that Elena and Damon aren't friends anymore. I kind of liked how cheeky he was being when he appeared at the foot of their bed in the morning and they became defensive because they were naked under the sheets. He cleverly reassured them, "If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it." He treated her like a friend and even a confidant, something that Katherine never truly was. I wonder who he'll side with if Katherine tries to kill Elena. There was a part in the flashback when Katherine taught Damon how to entrap a human, where she tells him to dispose of the bodies in the woods so that the other animals can finish them off. She doesn't perceive herself as human, and I seriously doubt she'll want to treat one like an equal.

TV RECAP: "Vampire Diaries": Elena's paternity & new vamps in town

Alaric is Elena's Daddy?
Auntie Jenna revealed that all she knows about Elena's adoption is that her mother begged for assistance in delivering her baby, and Elena's doctor-dad was kind enough to offer her shelter. When she ditched Elena, he was all too eager to claim her as his own, since he and his wife were having trouble conceiving. They doctored a birth certificate and voila!: an illegal adoption. The best part of that revelation wasn't her parents' good deed, but the fact that she learned her mom's name was Isabel...the same name of Professor Alaric's wife. I know what you're thinking. He's WAY too young to be Elena's father. She looks 20. He's looks…maybe 35. But, he could've met her after she gave birth to someone else's baby, since I can't imagine why he wouldn't have wanted to raise his own child. But then that brings up who Elena's mystery daddy might be and whether or not he is currently a vampire.

Either way, if the late Mrs. Alaric is Elena's mom, that means that Damon murdered her mom, which means that their budding friendship is about to hit a wall--a huge wall, strapped with dynamite. While these little tidbits have cleared up a few things, as you can see they've brought up a few more questions. Like, for example, ones concerning Jeremy's paternity. If they were having trouble conceiving and Jeremy is younger than Elena, then who are his parents? Also, does "trouble conceiving" translate to "vampire"? I know. I know. She drowned in the car accident. But we never saw the car accident, so she could've been knocked unconscious and then escaped later. Who knows? (I mean, other than people reading the books. lol)


Damon's New Frenemies
Guess what! Damon isn't the only one trying to open the tomb filled with 20something vampires dying to feed on the flesh of the unsuspecting townsfolk and seek their revenge. Nope there are not one, not two, but three vampires in town hatching a dastardly plan to release their...friends? I can't really tell if they're looking to release Katherine for friendly purposes, if they plan to kill them all, or if they're in search of a different, potentially more sinister, vampire. But at least we know who's behind it. I always thought that adorably sweet, home-schooled, vampire-educated Asian girl was suspicious. I mean, Jeremy is cute and all, but not stalk-day-and-night cute. Although I'm sure he appreciates the tables being turned for once. At the 50s dance, Anna revealed her true colors, particularly in the eye area, when she nearly vamped out trying to get him to give up his uncle's juicy journal, which he ingeniously lent out to Alaric. Maybe Alaric's mysterious agenda is to open the tomb and kill Damon's one true love. Now THAT would make sense...as opposed to all the small talk and half-smiles.

Anna is partnered up with her uber hot boyfriend Ben (Sean Faris from Never Back Down), who is currently pretending to have the hots for Bonnie, so he can eventually get whatever witchcraft-related item he'll need to open the tomb. Poor Bonnie can't meet a normal guy. The trio was rounded out by Elena's stalker, the guy she accidentally ran over before Damon saved her. He apparently had a thing for Katherine--a sadistic thing--and felt the need to torture Elena just because she looked like her. (I have a feeling that's going to be happening a lot, because she sure did get around.) The Salvatore brothers had to execute him. Actually, they had to kill him because he posed as a pizza guy and Jeremy, the genius, invited him into the house, giving him free reign. While it's true that Elena failed to realize an enemy vamp was in the house with the help of her trusty new vampire-detector, I think that if given enough time, she could've taken him out herself. She stabbed him in the chest and hand with three pencils, broke a broom/mop in half with her shin, and almost stabbed him in the chest. So close! That's okay though. She did more in one season than Lana did in five on "Smallville," so I am very proud of her. lol But I suggest she take a page out of Buffy's bible and learn how to fight.

Damon's Surprising New Partner in Crime
Stefan offered to help Damon open the tomb on the one condition that he gets to kill all the other vampires in the tomb. Damon agreed to trust him on the one condition that Stefan tell him the real reason that he wants to help, causing Stefan to admit that it's to get him out of town...for good. lol Like that's going to happen. When the season started, Damon said he wanted things back the way they used to be, when he had his vampire girlfriend and his awesome little brother by his side. I don't think he'll settle for half the fantasy. Although, I would advise him to. Won't it be weird to have two Elena-lookalikes at the dinner table? lol Of course, Stefan has no intentions of going along with Damon's plan. No, he's going to double cross him. *sigh* When is Stefan going to learn that he can't be devious? It's not even remotely possible.

Next week, we get a flashback to the good old days when Katherine was playing both brothers against each other, and their father looked on with disapproval.

Side note: Wouldn't it be funny if Katherine wasn't even in the tomb and she's just hiding out until she can make her move? (And, of course, by funny, I mean, awesome!)

TV REVIEW: "The Deep End" - Pilot

I'm more of a medical-show ("Grey's Anatomy," "Mercy," "Scrubs," and "Trauma") watcher than a law-show ("Drop Dead Diva") watcher, but I figured since there were some young, attractive actors in this and Billy Zane (The Phantom and "Samantha, Who?") was playing a bad boy, I'd give it a shot. Here it is in a fat nutshell:

Four recent law school graduates have been hand-picked by a prestigious law firm's big kahuna, Cliff Huddle (Zane), to be the new junior associates. Their mentor/babysitter Rowdy (Norbert Leo Butz from Dan in Real Life) makes sure they stay on-point and don't piss off any huge clients. Of course, they all have their flaws which will interfere with their ability to impress. Dylan (Matt Long from "Jack and Bobby" and Sydney White) came to the firm after Rowdy promised that he would be nurtured and handheld until he's the best damn lawyer he can be. Not gonna happen. Liam (newcomer Ben Lawson), the Australian playboy, has a little trouble keeping his junk in his pants, feeling compelled to sleep with not only fellow associates, but secretaries and clients. Beth (Leah Pipes from "Life is Wild" and Sorority Row) is eager to impress her dad, after rejecting his offer to join his firm and essentially coast on his name. And Addy (Tina Majorino from "Veronica Mars") is a pixie-voiced and pint-sized pushover who needs to develop a backbone if she's going to both get assigned cases and win them.

Cliff's boss Hart Sterling (Clancy Brown from The Informant and The Guardian) took a leave of absence when his wife was ill, and after a period of grieving, returned to revamp the money-grubbing empire that Cliff built into a pro-bono bleeding heart. Since Cliff refused to step down, Hart decided to undermine him by hiring a junior associate of his own. Malcolm (Mehcad Brooks from "True Blood" and "Desperate Housewives") didn't get much screen time, but from commercials and his run-in with the pixie, I can tell that he'll become chummy with Liam and maybe flirty with Addy. In other romantic hookup predictions, Beth, who beds Liam when she's down, will probably develop sincere feelings for him, which will be interesting considering his compulsion. Meanwhile, Dylan ingeniously decided that the best breakup medicine for Katie (Rachelle Lefevre from Twilight), the legal aide who helped him win his first case, was a roll in the hay with him. Unfortunately, Katie's ex, who refuses to let her go, is actually their boss Cliff, who is married to Susan (Nicole Ari Parker from "Soul Food"), the firm's other big kahuna. He can officially kiss any offers of mentoring goodbye.

Many blogs and publications have been describing this series as "Grey's Anatomy" with lawyers, which is an insult to Shonda Rhimes. For the sake of civility, I will provide somewhat constructive criticism. Here are a few suggestions to make it better:

1) Give the Aussie more airtime. He's funny, his background is more interesting, and he's terribly flawed. Why watch a show about some kid who wants to make a difference? Don't we have enough of those already? Lawyers are often portrayed as these heroic figures who buck the system and fight for the little guy. How many of your friends go to law school so they can one day "buck the system"? At least Liam seems like a more believable character. Meanwhile, Dylan is like a starry-eyed freshman, who just realized college isn't going to be a non-stop adventure. I mean, maybe if he had a backstory to support his hero-complex, it would be easier to jump on board with. But these days TV is littered with protagonists who are either reluctantly helpful (Chuck on "Chuck"), obligated to be helpful (Michael on "Burn Notice" and Neal from "White Collar"), or seemingly just out for an adrenaline rush (Christopher from "Human Target"). Hell, even Eli Stone only became a pro-bono lawyer after a fatal prognosis.

2) Give the blonde a personality. Rigid and robotic are the only acceptable words to describe the cardboard persona that Beth has. The only time she shines is when she's around Liam, and even though she might have more class than he does, she's not even worthy of a one-night stand let alone a potential relationship.

3) Every time the adults are talking, I find myself daydreaming. How can you possibly make Billy Zane boring? How? And on what planet would anyone believe that he'd marry someone as tight-ass and morally-driven as Susan? Sleep with an easily manipulated legal aide? Yes. Marry a smart, driven woman? What? I mean, granted she's obviously easy to manipulate too, but why even bother? For appearances? His right-hand man Rowdy is the most interesting, mainly because of his concern for the newbies and his burgeoning mid-life crisis, made obvious by the car he drives, the girls he chases, and the colloquialisms he thinks are cool. And as for Hart, I could so-so-so care less about his philanthropic agenda to be a pro-bono-ing machine.

4) Stop talking to us like we're stupid. How many times can you emphasize that "the deep end" is where the law firm metaphorically throws you as a test? We get it! High school students aren't watching this, and even if they were, they take Calculus. They're not that dumb. There's no need to not only explain it, but then push someone LITERALLY into the deep end. Seriously?

5) Get better lighting. Why does everyone look gray? I know what you're thinking. Adjust your TV set. My TV's fine. It's a flat screen and every other TV show has vibrant colors, except for maybe "Fringe," which is supposed to be creepy and dreary. And while it's true that this law series doesn't take place in Miami or the Bahamas, even rainy Seattle-based "Grey's Anatomy" has more shades of the rainbow.
Will I watch next week?
Well, both "Bones" and "Vampire Diaries" are far more interesting and funny. But I guess it wouldn't hurt to TiVo, since most of next week's TV shows will be running re-runs and I don't have any intention of watching the Super Bowl. *sigh* Maybe if it gets better, there'll be a legitimate reason for why "Flashforward" is on break.

TV RECAP: Elena is Adopted & Alaric's Revenge on "Vampire Diaries"

*Gasp* She's adopted!!!!! dum-Dum-DUM!!!!
And the plot thickens. I have to admit, I didn't really expect for Stefan to have an actual explanation for why Elena looked exactly like his long-lost, undead love Katherine. After she found the photo and bolted from his house post-love-making, I thought he was going to admit to being super creepy and jonesing after her because of the resemblance, then beg for forgiveness. And I was pretty sure she'd forgive him, because while the two ladies do look similar, they have very, very different personalities. But apparently there's been a whole lot more behind Stefan's brooding stares than he's let on.

The first time Stefan saw Elena wasn't on the first day of school, but when she and her parents crashed their car into the river. Her mother was a goner, but he could still save her dad. Unfortunately, her father demanded that Stefan save her first. After noticing the resemblance, a mixture of shock and the rapid sinking of the car resulted in her father's death. In spite of his discovery, Stefan's main concern from that point on wasn't to woo her, but verify that she wasn't Katherine. So he went through her medical files and discovered that although her birth certificate does exist, there is no record of her mom giving birth to her at the hospital on record. Therefore, he deduced that she must be adopted, which means Katherine could very well be one of her ancestors. My theory is that, since her family kept a journal of the town's vampire legends, they must've been apart of that makeshift "neighborhood watch." Perhaps, they knew her mom and they were forced to either take Elena away when her mom was turned or adopt her when she was killed. Either way, Elena just got ten times more interesting.

Damon & Elena's Budding Friendship
I was psyched to see how Damon would convince Elena that he could be a trusted friend, but the end result was a let-down. On the surface (and in the daylight), he was cracking jokes and hugging witches and being Elena's devoted bodyguard, but that didn't last for long. He took her on a roadtrip to see a witch named Bree (Gina Torres from "Gossip Girl" and Serenity) that he used to bed a few decades back (lol was she supposed to be in her late 20s? please) to ask her more about the methods he can use to release Katherine from the tomb. She swore that he did everything he could and without the crystal he was screwed. Then she called up the boyfriend of Stefan's female bff Lexi and told him that Damon was in town. Naturally, he was seeking vengeance of the maximum variety, since Damon killed Lexi. If you remember, she said that her boyfriend was human and she refused to turn him. But he knew that if he was going to go head-to-head with Damon, he'd have to be a vamp. With his newfound gifts, he not only threw Damon around, but bashed in his legs so he couldn't run away, poured gasoline all over him, and prepared to set him on fire. If it wasn't for Elena's pleas, he probably would've succeeded in not only ridding this world of Damon, but preventing Katherine from being freed...because you know it's going to happen eventually.

*sigh* I don't think she realizes how much trouble she could've avoided if she just let it happen. She could've at least saved Bree, whose heart he later ripped out. I mean, I get why she saved his life. He saved hers from the vampire that was going to drain her dry after causing her to crash, but she's human and good. That makes sense. Saving a murderous psychopath doesn't. I thought they were going to have a real friendship, but it just seems like she's being duped by his charms. It's a catch-22. I want them to be friends, but I don't want him to be good. We've already seen what happens to a neutered bad boy on "Gossip Girl." It results in boring plot lines.

Alaric's Secret Agenda
Unsurprisingly Damon has way more enemies than friends. How he hasn't been fileted alive yet is the real mystery. The smolderingly sexy professor Alaric, who's taken young Jeremy under his wing and inspired him to research the town's history--no doubt for his own gain--treated us to a flashback. Apparently, he walked in on Damon draining his beautiful wife, and since he was entranced by the blood, Damon never noticed him. That must be why he doesn't flinch whenever Alaric looks his way. I mean, the only other explanation is that Damon is so coldhearted he doesn't even bother to memorize the faces of the humans whose lives he's destroyed. Either way, the flashback didn't really explain what Alaric was doing in town. Yes, he wants revenge. But why not take a page out of Lexi's boyfriend's book, pour gasoline on him, and light a match? Why do in-depth research about all the main families of the town?

My theory is that he is searching for a way to perform the classic "an eye for an eye." I think he wants to free Katherine and kill her once and for all. Damon managed to squeeze out a confession from Bree, revealing that if he finds Emily's spell book, he can find the reversal spell, which means that Alaric could be searching for that particular book. That might be stretching it a bit, but honestly, what other reason would he have to brush up on so much history? Then there's the fact that he wears a ring similar to the Salvatore brothers. As illustrated in the scene where he lost it in his car and wasn't in the least bit harmed by the sunlight, he doesn't actually need it. So where did he get it from...or who did he steal it from? In the chapters that I read from the first book, their father wasn't a vampire. They were the first generation vampires in their family. And the person who gave them that ring was Katherine, which means that it could be one of her family's heirlooms, adding to the idea that he's searching for her. So if he's searching through her family history and Elena is related to her, it stands to reason that whatever he finds might be of use to Elena.

Jeremy's Vampire Research
Apparently, when you aren't deeply depressed, high on drugs, and obsessed with a trashy girl that's way out of your league, you have plenty of time to do extracurricular activities...like hang out at the library. Wow! This boy is exhilarating! Anyway, he bumped into (literally, more than once) a cute girl named Anna (Malese Jow from "Unfabulous" and Aliens in the Attic), while perusing the shelves. They got all flirty while talking about the town's history. She's well-versed on it and understandably nerdy, because she's home-schooled. The library is her idea of "getting out." With her assistance, Jeremy's starting to realize that all of those mysterious deaths that have been happening aren't actually that mysterious. Me thinks he'll figure out what really happened to Vicki, which will surely put a damper on his relationship with his sister, if she gets too chummy with Damon.

The Witch's Path
Bonnie and Stefan had a little bonding session. He was trying to get her to find Elena, but Bonnie suddenly realized that she didn't have any more powers ever since they performed the ceremony in the forest that destroyed the crystal. She went back to the scene of the ritual to see if...I don't know why to be honest. What did she think she could do? Roll around on the ground and pick up some supernatural fairy dust? *rolls eyes* Being the genius that she is, knowing that vampires exist and there's a tomb of vampires beneath the forest, she wanders around the woods, and, for our own personal amusement, falls through a shaft. Cue the creepy whispers of the entrapped undead and the inevitable whimpering. Stefan eventually comes to the rescue, promises that he'll make sure the vamps don't get out, and manages to bond with her grandmother, reminding her that they'd met in the past when she was an inspiring activist. It was funny that while she didn't seem to mistrust him, she had no intentions of inviting him into her home.

Matt, Caroline, & Tyler
They were all MIA during this episode, but I read that Matt's mom (Melinda Clarke from "The O.C.") is coming back and she's going to go after Damon. I wonder, since she's a cougar lush, if she'll even care that he's a vamp. Hopefully, he doesn't kill her though. I think Matt's suffered enough for one decade. Honestly, he should be the one doing drugs (not that I condone or advise that sort of thing). It's just that Jeremy's parents may have died, but Matt's chose to leave him and he thinks Vicki did too. I'd be pretty depressed if I were him.

Next week, there's a 50s-themed school dance and the creepy vamp of the shadows that almost killed her will be back to finish her off. Hmm, I wonder which Salvatore will come to the rescue?