30 Rock
In this episode, we learn that even if a family is as perfect as the Lemons it can easily be turned into one that is as toxic as the Donaghy's. Jack's mom is so vicious she got Jet Blue to accept an Amtrak Ticket. While she was busy trying to prove that the Lemons could be dysfunctional, Liz was trying to keep up the charade that it was stilL 1985 because her brother had some sort of condition where he was stuck in the day that proceeded his accident. Poor Andy Richter was so proud of his flashdance impersonation--he gave "good flashdance--but not as proud as his parents who were impressed by everything. They even complimented their kids on how well they tied their laces. But of all the gags in this episode, my fave would have to be the fact that Liz was one of those girls who petitioned to join a boy's team. Unfortunately, unlike Amanda Bynes (She's the Man) or Carly Schroeder (Gracie), she sucked ass, thus successfully mocking girls everywhere and taking one small step back for feminism.
How I Met Your Mother
The gang was teaching Ted how not to eat where you shit, since he planned on going on a date with the doctor who was going to remove his butterfly tattoo/tramp stamp. Each went through a series of story lines that paralleled perfectly for the basic phases that occur when you "eat where you shit." Robin dated her co-anchor, Barney dated the bartender at his favor bar to pick up chicks, and Lily and Marshall stupidly befriended their neighbors. The main issue with developing any of these relationships is that the other party always gets clingy. But they provided the best advice of all for tourists, country folk, and teenagers everywhere: "This is New York City. You don't get close to the neighbors. You nod at them politely in the hall. You call the cops if you haven't seen them in a while and you smell something funny, and that is it."
"Samantha, Who?"
Sam tried to soften her reputation a little more in this episode, telling her assistant Tracy that they should treat each other more like girlfriends instead of boss and slave (which of course eventually backfires). Tracy is always hilariously on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Meanwhile, Sam was also trying to get her groove back, strategically planning her reinduction into the non-virgin territory. Andrea's words to comfort her were of course: "You could hit a guy with a block during sex and it's still going to be good for them." I guess that was a little helpful. Unfortunately, after she does the deed, she becomes the stereotypical version of every recently devirginated girl with a smidge more crazy than usual. I mean, the girl made a collage of what they would look like together on vacation, sticking their heads on the bodies of magazine cut-outs. Naturally, he dumped her. This is the part where said girl would drink or eat her sorrows away. But Sam is supposedly an alcoholic. Thankfully, her new best bud Tracy manages to inform her that she was actually sentenced to AA for drunkenly demanding to be let off of a plane because she's afraid to fly. That led to her and Andrea sprinting off camera with Andrea's determined, "Go!" Misery does love company, so she gathers Regina, Dena, and Andrea to drink it up, giving Andrea the opportunity to drunkenly state, "I''ll be so happy when you finally reexperience everything and that spark of wonder in your eyes goes dark again." Maybe Andrea's the drunk. Regina tells her: "You don't have to finish every bottle. It's not crackerjacks. There's no prize at the bottom," to which Andrea coldly responds: "The prize is the more I drink, the blurrier you get." During this cat fight Sam has a memory of how Todd had told her that he loved her, but she had never uttered the words. So of course she goes over to his apartment and tells him that she did love him, which I think he appreciated. Oh and like clockwork more evidence of Regina's lack of maternal instinct is made obvious when she says: "There were times you were difficult to warm up to. Even then I loved you. Babies are hard."
Notes from the Underbelly
Lauren's sister comes to visit all the way from NYC and she tries to trick her into moving to LA so that she can get a steady job and a normal boyfriend. But the topper to the episode was when Julie asks Cooper to sleep over at her house while her husband is away on business, because she's too afraid to stay alone in that big scary house. They start drinking wine and half a sip in Julie is out like a light. But that damn baby starts wailing, leaving Cooper to calm it down. When Julie awakes in the morning to find the baby sleeping on Cooper's chest, she feels compelled to take a picture. Hell-bent on not having evidence of her maternal instincts immortalized for all to see and mock, she says to Julie: "Listen to me. I have the baby. Give me the camera." Quite the bargaining chip.
October Road
Nick learns why his dad and brother don't celebrate Christmas. It turns out that his mom didn't spontaneously die from an aneurism, but was well aware that she had very little time to live. Ironically, the one who consoles him is Hannah. Janet accidentally gives Eddie a wolf pup to replace his dog, and he gets slightly offended. But when they try to gift each other a second time, he gives her a monogrammed bracelet and she gives him sustenance for the cold weather while he plows snow. Of course, he's still unsatisfied. What he really wants is for her to accompany him while he plows. Awwww. Physical Phil reveals to his pizza delivery girlfriend that his parents think he's an accomplished world traveling architect and have no idea that he's a shut-in. Once his dad starts ribbing her for having artsy goals, he lays it on them hard. Owen sleeps with his wife, but then Ikey gives her a ride home which stirs his suspicions again. Next week, Nick's little bro Ronnie reveals that he's got a thing for Aubrey.
Cheer up guys. I know this strike is kicking your ass, but this week the shows below still have brand spanking new episodes for your viewing pleasure:
Monday: K-Ville, Notes from the Underbelly, Journeyman, and October Road.
Wednesday: Gossip Girl, Journeyman (again!)
And in case you get uber-bored, Tuesday Beyonce's tour concert will be shown on BET and Wednesday My9TV will be showing the World Music Awards while VH1 will air "100 Greatest Songs of the 90s."
And if that's not enough, these DVDs will be available in a video store or Netflix queue near you:
Balls of Fury
The Simpsons Movie
Stardust
Halloween
Underdog
Illegal Tender
Once
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