DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
+ Gabby's daughter Juanita was picking on Susan's son MJ and she defended his weakness by saying, "You saw her. She can take down a small deer." When she took matters into her own hands by trying to show Juanita what it felt like to be pushed to the ground, Gabriel came to her rescue. Susan tried to brush it off without a physical altercation, but she crossed a line when she said: "Tell Bob and Lee that I'll pay for the dent in their lawn." That would be the dent that Juanita's chubby little ass made...and Susan's going to hell.
+ It was very bizarre watching Mike and Susan's new boyfriend play-fighting like they were brothers.
+ Andrew had the balls to sell Gabby a piece of crap car to replace the one she had to sell, and after she discovered the car overheats, he told her to avoid hills and keep it in the shade. Her response was: "I can't go around trying to avoid gravity and sunlight."
+ I now choose Bree as my favorite for this line and this line only. When she discovered that Danielle had new lifestyle practices, like being a vegetarian, she refused to allow her grandson grow up without meat, so she told him that Danielle grew up big and strong by eating meat. He naturally asked if she didn't want him to grow up big and strong and Bree's response was: "Maybe she thinks if you get big, you'll leave home and go play for the Red Sox." The horror!
Update: Edie's new boyfriend has the same last name as that crazy pharmacist who stalked Bree, so people are saying that he's come to avenge his brother's death...even though it was suicide.
TRUE BLOOD
+ I wasn't in the least bit surprised that Jason's ringtone lyrics were: "Shake that ass or I'm going to shake it for you."
+ This was Lafayette's description of one of the funeral attendees, who doubles as a town gossip: "If she talks any more shit, she'd be shaped like a turd."
+ I can't for the life of me understand why Tara insists on leading dog-boy, I mean Sam, on. He's a little creepy--hot, but creepy.
+ I can't wait to see what's wrong with Tara's mom--Is there really a demon inside of her?--and to see if Sam can actually fight off 3 vampires with a broken pool stick--I seriously doubt it.
BIG BANG THEORY
+ Leonard wanted Sheldon to congratulated Raj for his achievement and smile, but when he tried, he looked terrifying. So Leonard said, "We're hear to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman." Ahh, the first of many Joker-Ledger references.
+ Raj started getting perks at their job and Wolowitz was jealous, so he said: "An assistant? If I want a new pen, I have to go the bank with wire cutters."
+ Leonard, Sheldon, and Wolowitz were considering replacing Raj since he was turning into a self-important douche. But after evaluating the qualities of their new friend, he sarcastically determined: "Let's see: money, women, technology. Okay, we're agreed, our new friend is going to be...Iron Man!"
GOSSIP GIRL
+ Chuck brought a new meaning to the term "Freshman 15," by giving it lewd connotations.
+ Chuck was trying to get into a secret society and the boys were thoroughly impressed with him. The leader of the pack said, "Rumor has it you've slept with more Maxim covers than John Mayer." And of course Chuck had to respond, "And better I might add."
+ I never noticed how much Serena has taken from Blair: Nate, her mom, the girls at school, and now Yale. This statement is totally justified: "I'm sick of always looking like Darth Vader next to Sunshine Barbie. Life's too short. But you make it feel so long."
+ I'm convinced that once the secret society boys tried to turn on Nate, Chuck decided their club wasn't worth it. He sent them after Dan, pretending he was Nate--what these boys don't have Facebook or Gossip Girl links?--and set them up to do despicable things on tape. When they confronted him and he dropped that little bomb, he concluded with this: "You may be the future leaders of America, but you are now under the control of Chuck Bass. I own you." Perfection.
Update: There are pictures circulating of Jenny weeping and Eleanor and Blair consoling her. After readling this post with clues, I've narrowed it down to either Vanessa or Rufus. And even though she was crying too hard for it to be V, I vote for V cause I don't think they'd kill the Rufus-Lily storyline. Plus, wouldn't it be great if her death were Chuck or Blair or even Nate's fault. Remember, B wants Chuck to destroy her in the next episode.
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
+ Barney punches a hole into a wall when Ted breaks up a girl fight. Of course he would, it's practically sacreligious.
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