Where do I begin? FIRE! FIRE! Dwight never fails to be insane! Just when you think that heartbreak would curb his lunacy for at least a couple of weeks, you learn that it actually frees him up for even more psychotic behavior. I wouldn't call him a pyro, but he sure does know how to start fires. Well, at least it was in an effort to educate his co-workers about the importance of fire safety and evacuation protocols.
Speaking of which, Oscar climbing through the ceiling and Angela frantically throwing her cat up to him was some of the funniest fight-or-flight behavior I have ever seen. I once shocked myself by screaming "I want to live!" when a drunk guy started waving his sleeves near a candle resting on a wooden table pressed against my knee. I never thought that would be the first thing I'd say. You sure do learn things about yourself when you're backed up against a burning wall...and about your co-workers. I knew Andy was dumb, but screaming, "The fire is shooting at us," when firecrackers started going off was Tara Reid-levels of stupidity. But, of course, Michael had to top them all by trying to revive Stanley after he had a heart attack, screaming, "Stanley! Barack is president! You are black!" I have to give it to him--of all the things to awaken someone, that would surely be at the top of the list.
After Dwight was reprimanded by corporate--and he revealed his bomb scare plans--they sent over an emergency protocol specialist to debrief everyone on how to properly handle any drastic situation. Somehow Dwight interpreted the CPR lesson as the perfect opportunity to do his Hannibal Lecter impersonation after cutting off the dummy's face. How has he not been committed yet?
Since everyone was concerned about keeping Stanley calm and relaxed, Michael tried to implement a relaxation period where he would make them imagine happy things with their eyes closed. When he told Stanley to choose an ice cream flavor to picture, he chose chocolate, and Michael classically reacted by saying, "Racism is dead Stanley. You can have any kind of ice cream you want." Oh Michael. It's so sad that he's completely oblivious of his affect on people. The fact that Stanley's heart monitor kept going off erratically every time he approached--heck even every time he approached Oscar when he was wearing it--should be no surprise...
...nor should Michael's belief that a roast in his "honor" would be a good idea. What was he thinking? Does he really not sense the animosity emanating from all of them? Especially Stanley? I think Andy said it best when he sang during his roast monologue: "Stanley tried to die just to get away from you." But I do think they should remember that Michael is like a 10-year-old boy. No matter how annoying an eager-to-please kiss-ass might be, you can't forget that they are overly sensitive. I don't know what was worse: Pam saying that Michael's penis was the equivalent of an iPod shuffle or Kelly saying that she'd rather makeout with Voldemort. The cherry, though, on the shitcake that was his roast was when Meredith revealed, "Michael, you are the reason that I drink." Ouch! But as always things ended amicably, as Michael tried to get back at them with a mini-roast of his own and they were too amused by his attempt not to laugh, putting a smile on his face.
Lastly, in Pam & Jim affairs, something super cute happened. While it is sad that Pam's parents are getting divorced, I loved the part where she badgered Jim about what he said to her father for him to want to move out. I figured her father came to the conclusion on his own accidentally, but unfortunately, he claimed it was definitely something Jim had said. So I was dying for the big reveal and almost as nervous to find out as Jim was. Then it came. It turns out Jim failed to remember that he had professed his undying and unwavering and undeniable love for Pam to her father and he realized that he did not feel the same way about her mother. True, that's kind of sad, but also majorly romantic.
On a side note, while I realize that this series never does anything by the book--heck they even staged a proposal at a gas station--I hope they don't bypass Valentine's like it's an afterthought. I mean, the holiday should be ripe with juicy content. Ryan could come back and have an awkward moment with Kelly. Phyllis could rub all of her gifts from Bob Vance in Angela's face. Both Andy and Dwight could get drunk together and commiserate. And Jim can continue to remind us why he's freaking awesome.
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