FILM NEWS: Bardem & Franco up for "Clash of the Titans 2," Tatum offered "21 Jump Street," and more

• How do you make the Clash of the Titans sequel awesome? You add Javier Bardem and James Franco. Bardem is being sought after to play the God of War Ares and Franco is up for Agenor, the son of Poseidon.

• Channing Tatum is at the top of the list to star alongside Jonah Hill in the "21 Jump Street" film adaptation. 

• Looks like Ed Westwick ("Gossip Girl") might be getting some legit work. He's been cast in the indie adaptation of Sebastien Japrisot's novel Trap for Cinderella. It's about "a rich woman and a poor woman trapped together inside a beach house in a French resort gutted by fire. Only one of them survives, burnt beyond recognition and with total amnesia, resulting in all sorts of questions about her identity." It's like the Prince and the Pauper…if it were a horror movie. Can you imagine? If it's the poor girl, she's rich, but disfigured, and if it's the rich girl, she could end up poor and disfigured. Brooke Shields, Bill Nighy, Imogen Poots (28 Days Later), and Tamsin Egerton (St. Trinian's) will also star.

• There are plans to adapt Rebecca Serle's novel Rosaline, which will tell the story of Romeo and Juliet from the perspective of the girl he ditched.

MUSIC: Penn Badgley Singing at Bullett Photo Shoot

I love "Gossip Girl" and I've always enjoyed Dan's witty comebacks and reactions, but he's not my favorite character. If he were deleted from the series, I would miss him, but I wouldn't stop watching. The only film/series I actually enjoyed him in whole-heartedly was John Tucker Must Die. Mainly because everyone else in that film sucked. But he was charming, self-deprecating, and sweet. He was like a 4 out of 10, hotness-wise.

Then I saw this video photo shoot of him for Bullett magazine on Perez Hilton. At the 2:00 mark, he sings...GOOD! Better than you'd think he could sing. Better than he needs to. He even sounds better than Robert Pattinson. He could honestly do a music biopic. He's that good. So now he's like an 8. A hard 8. I guess what they say is true. Girls are suckers for musicians.



Bullett Magazine + Penn Badgley from BULLETT MAGAZINE on Vimeo.

TV TOPIC: Why "Gossip Girl" & "The Office" Should End?

Blogs are burning with the recent news that Blake Lively's caught the Mischa Barton bug, eager to wrap-up her story arc on "Gossip Girl" and tackle feature films full-time. While it's true that Lively has a better and more well-rounded resume than Barton did when she bailed on "The O.C.", any time an actor requests departure from a series, fans turn on them, like a chimp on its owner. Whether it's their favorite character or they're concerned with how the character's absence will affect the quality of the plot, it's rarely a welcome change.

Think about it. If there's no Serena, who will Dan end up with? Who will Blair turn to in her dramatic times of need? Who will be the blonde and leggy mannequin draped in the latest couture, setting trends so viral they become epidemics? Will we have to turn to Georgina and Jenny to split the responsibilities?

I hope not. I hope Lively's rumored desire to quit, Leighton Meester's budding music career, and Chase Crawford's attempts at reaching Emile-Hirsch-levels of stardom will lead producers to conclude that they had a good run and the finish line is just over the horizon. Dragging plot lines out, throwing seemingly insurmountable obstacles, like pregnancies and shootings, in front of them is just diluting the potency of the drama's appeal.

This season, we're supposed to see a different side of Chuck Bass, a guy who's had more rebirths than Blair's had vendettas. Every sesaon a softer side of Chuck peeks through and then Blair does something to shove it back in. While that's true to life, a seemingly accurate portrayal of how a pig-headed stubborn, guarded, entitled, rich teen would behave, it's also daunting. Characters are supposed to evolve, whether it's for better or worse. His regressions are like a neverending cycle of self-pity. This time around, after devirginating Jenny, failing to successfully propose to Blair, and getting shot by a mugger in Prague, he will return without his iconic moniker. He's signed over the company to Lily and refuses to acknowledge his birthright. He's frittering his life away in France with a new girl, and he's avoiding his life back in New York. Sounds like post-daddy-death Chuck all over again, with less substance abuse.

Don't get me wrong. Settled, domestic, happy Chuck is boring, but his constant inner battle between good and evil is also tiresome. We all know Chuck is evil sprinkled with good tendencies, the way Vanessa is good sprinkled with bad tendencies, so when is he going to just embrace it? When is Blair going to admit that she'll never find a better guy than Chuck? When will Dan finally find a girl he can trust? When will Nate...oh who cares about Nate?

The creators of "Lost" had the right idea. Whether you liked the ending or not, I think we can all agree that we're glad it's over—that the mystery is solved and we know how it all ends. If more series creators were ordered to give a pre-set amount of seasons with a beginning, middle, and end story structure, there'd be less random sublots—Jenny becoming a fashion designer for five seconds, Dan dating two girls simultaneously for one summer, Nate working for his politician uncle—and a lot more gratifying storylines. Think about all the shows that could've went out with a better bang if the creators knew they were ending sooner, like "Ugly Betty" or "Heroes."

There have also been reports that Alec Baldwin wants out of "30 Rock" and Steve Carell wants out of "The Office." While "30 Rock" is a neverending joke that has no real plot, aside from Liz and Jack's eternal loneliness, "The Office" had a huge subplot in the first few seasons that focused on lovebirds Jim & Pam. Unfortunately, once they got married and had a kid, the series lost its thunder. Their evolution into mature adults lowered their funny quotient substantially. Plus, I'm willing to bet a majority of its viewers, non-die-hard fans, were only tuning in for the romance, and now that they're parents, there's barely any. We're left to cringe at Andy & Erin, aka Pam & Jim 2.0, and wonder about Kelly & Ryan.

I think they should end the series with Dwight and Jim becoming co-managers of Dundler Mifflin, Andy proposing to Erin, Michael having a huge, over-the-top wedding with Holly, and Ryan revealing that he and Kelly already got married in Niagra Falls the same day Jim and Pam did...but she doesn't remember...except she does. Wink. Wink. The End.

I will most certainly miss these shows when they go. They've entertained me more than most TV shows do, but I'm tuning in for a story, and every story has an ending.

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": The Anniversary of Bart's Death & The Secret He Buried

While we were led to believe that this episode would revolve around Serena and her love…parallelogram, it turns out the writers were just using her as a catalyst for two much more scandalous and interesting subplots.

Lily's Big Secret
Maureen’s Stepford-wife devotion ultimately led to Lily’s secret getting out. Apparently, she spent a lot of time alone in a hotel room with Serena’s dad. But Lily seemed to think that after she explained herself to Rufus, all would be well. Of course, that was before Maureen gave Rufus the secret letter that mentions the alleged affair. Lucky for Rufus, he just happened to have recently befriended a beautiful African American socialite named Holland (Sherri Saum from "Sunset Beach" and "In Treatment"), who not only implied that some day Lily would cheat on him, but that when he found out, she was available for his revenge.

Okay, so Rufus didn’t exactly translate her sexual advance like I did, but he did perceive it as an open invitation to ask for advice whenever he needed it. I’m, however, still grateful for her presence because she brought up a very interesting point: Rufus doesn’t do anything except cater to Lily. Yes, it’s true her mom had cancer, Serena was AWOL, Eric and Jenny needed a reliable parental figure, and he’s unemployed, but why doesn’t he play music or give lessons or hang out with the long-lost son he spent so much time whining about? Granted, most viewers don’t care about the parents, but the writers could at least fill in some plot holes concerning them…unless of course they plan on turning Rufus into a Stepford husband. What I wouldn’t give to see Rufus in Chuck-form—that would be quite a transformation.

Serena = Monica Lewinksy
After Maureen took control of her marriage again and convinced Tripp that he could have his cake and eat it too, she had the audacity to propose what she referred to as a time-honored political tradition to Serena. She wanted to remain Tripp’s wife and allow Serena to be his tawdry mistress. (It made me wonder if maybe all politicians’ wives were just pretending they had no idea for the cameras...and the book deal.) Serena—thank god—was appalled and offended, but somehow skeptical. She really thought Tripp would never propose such a thing. You know, because politicians are usually just so reliable and trustworthy—not to mention, monogamous. I guess I could understand why politicians cheat though. They must feel so helpless when they never getting anything done, and so castrated by their overbearing wives, so they find comfort in laying down with a woman that worships them and makes them feel powerful again (even if it's for a price). Too bad Tripp has sentenced himself to 50 more years with a controlling and frigid opportunist. I mean, he has so little confidence in himself that when he crashed the car and realized he’d have to explain to the police (and the press) why a bleeding and unconscious Serena was being driven back from his secluded cottage, he immediately called his wife for help. Whipped! He’s like her little puppet. Per her orders, he moved Serena into the driver’s seat, called an ambulance, and abandoned her. Prince freaking Charming ladies and gentleman.

The Anniversary of Bart's Death
None of this was important. The fact that Nate punched Tripp, and threatened to tell the police if he ever came near Serena again meant nothing. What was important was that Serena almost died in a car accident on the anniversary of Bart dying in a car accident! The only two people who remembered the significant day, unfortunately, were Chuck and Blair. After spending most of it being berated into buying a homeless shelter by his father’s ghost and pushing Blair and Lily away, he finally snapped out of his drunken melancholy when he got the call about Serena. I pretty much predicted that he wouldn’t make it to her room and that he’d collapse on the floor, so I was glad to have been pleasantly surprised by the flashbacks of never-before-seen scenes of the night Bart died. The writers sort of skipped over his death and moved right on to Chuck’s month-long binge, but now we got to see what broke him: not being able to say goodbye to his dad while he was on life-support. Ed Westwick did a fantastic job with this scene.

The Hunt for Mommy Bass
This all led up to a show-stopping revelation: Chuck’s mom isn’t dead! I think once Lily said Bart refused to tell Chuck where his mother’s grave was, it was pretty obvious there wasn’t one. He discovered her bringing yellow roses, which according to Chuck, was her favorite, to Bart’s grave. My mom kept yelling for Chuck to chase after her into the foggy cemetery, but that’s what next year’s for: the hunt for Mommy Bass. While I’m super psyched to have my suspicions confirmed, what really peaked my interest was the locket. Why would she leave if she loved him? Why would she carry around a locket with Bart’s picture? Did he banish her? Did she need to go into hiding? My worst-case scenario theory is that she betrayed him. Chuck isn’t his son (maybe he's that attempted rapist Jack's) and as revenge, he banished her and took Chuck, which would explain the emotional abuse. Because really, why else would she be in hiding? Mob connections? What do you guys think?

In the New Year
Aside from that bombshell, we have two other lovely subplots to look forward to in the New Year:
1) Dan finally told Vanessa he loves her. She may have chalked it up to the strain of Serena’s near-death experience, but since when does your ex-girlfriend almost dying make you profess your love for your best friend? Lol um, no.
2) It turns out while Eric and Jenny may have agreed on a truce, she’s not out of trouble just yet. Apparently, the new Queen B of the Upper East Side has a part-time job…as a drug-dealer. That sounds like a major sweeps or season finale cliffhanger for sure.

CRUSHWORTHY: Aaron Tveit from "Gossip Girl"

Tripp blows! But it turns out Aaron Tveit, the actor who plays him, doesn't. You might of heard of the Tony-award winning Broadway musical Next to Normal. Well, Tveit is actually one of the stars--one of the dancing and singing stars--who impressed the Great White Way's critics and practically stole the show. And that wasn't even his first play. He actually had the lead love-interest role in Wicked and in Hairspray for a while. That's right, Serena's current unsuitable suitor actually has serious talent. In fact, he even auditioned to play Finn in "Glee." (No offense, but I prefer Cory Monteith. He may not sing as good, but he definitely looks more like a suburban jock than the puny politician.)

Luckily for Tveit, his foray into more commercial entertainment outside of theater won't end with "Gossip Girl." He already scored a co-starring role in the much-talked about drama Howl, which also stars James Franco, Jon Hamm, and Jeff Daniels. He'll play the poet Peter Orlovsky, who was best friends with the poet Allen Ginsberg (Franco). The film will focus on the release-aftermath of Ginsberg's most famous poem, Howl. If critics eat it up, he could be looking at a serious film career.

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": A Bella-ruse

"Oh my god! That was the doorman!" <--I'll get back to that.

So, for some reason this episode was thrown together like a season finale. There was a whole lot of resolution, wrapping up several juicy plot lines. Luckily, there were also a few tasty cliffhangers. Lily and Rufus got married in his loft after several false starts, caused by Lily's self-sabotage. Georgina threatened to tell the Humphrey's Scott's secret if Vanessa didn't dupe Dan into believing his movie star girlfriend was hooking up with Orlando Bloom in Japan. He then interpreted her sudden campaign against Olivia as a hidden declaration of her true affections. [Read: Delusional.] Thankfully, this lead to a belated big reveal, where she finally told him Scott was his brother. Unfortunately, after failing to convince Georgina that Vanessa held up her end of the bargain, the wicked wench dropped that major nugget on Rufus and Lily seconds before they were about to walk down the aisle. But if you think about it, if she didn't go all Jerry Springer on them, and reveal the true paternity of the kid, Lily wouldn't have realized her major defect and finally married Rufus. In the end, Scott decided to go back home and break the news to his parents, hinting at his random return later in the season, which seemed a little sloppy. If I found my long-lost kid after thinking he was dead, there's no way in hell he's leaving. I don't care if it is my wedding night.

Meanwhile, Chuck and Blair were running interference between Serena and Carter. It turns out Brie Buckley wanted to set up a meet-and-greet between her cousins' fists and his face. Apparently, he had major debts last year and decided the easiest way to get rid of them was to woo some unsuspecting shy heiress. In comes Brie's overly trusting cousin Beth and her millions. Once his debt was paid, he bolted and practically left her at the altar. We should give him credit for admitting that to Serena before anyone ratted him out. And I guess we should also pat him on the back for agreeing to meet Brie's burly cousins later that evening to settle his debt to her family. But, I'm not sure what that would entail. Do rich Southerners beat the living crap out of con artists? Or is it like 'When in New York, do as the Upper East Siders do?,' which, again, is a mystery to me. I guess we'll find out next week when Chuck gets Serena into a secret card game that I'm assuming will save Carter's ass. Hmm, I'm not sure about this. How long can this relationship last? What are the chances he's not just using Serena to settle these debts? It's much less terrifying to be on the bad side of a Van der Woodsen, especially since four out of five of the men in the family barely have a backbone or any sort of nefarious pull. Then again, I doubt he'd ever cross Chuck again...or Blair for that matter.

The best part of the episode had to have been Georgina's send-off. Dan was bummed that she didn't get her come-uppance, but Blair assured him that karma would take care of her. Of course, karma came in the form of a Russian con. Derota, incognito, stood by as--if I'm not mistaken--her doorman-boyfriend pretended to be a prince who wanted to whisk Georgina away to his Belarusian castle. I can't fathom where he's actually taking her, but I did appreciate her saying that she was "over college," so it explains her sudden absence from the season.

The second best part of the episode had to be Blair's scathing dismissal of Brie during a couple's luncheon. Apparently, Nate thought she'd be civil and accept his new lover. But she didn't even give Dan a fair shot the first time Serena introduced him, so why did Nate expect anything less than unwarranted judgment? I can't really decide which was my favorite put-down. Was it when Brie dared to utter the words, "Family royalty is really big down there," referring to Texas, and Blair accused her of racism, asking, "Like slavery?" Or when she took advantage of the Southern belles absence and advised, "Trust me Nate. I know women, and none of us are that nice." lol Even when she's not the center of attention, B never fails to entertain. As of now, Nate and Brie are kaput. Surprisingly, without a self-congratulatory "I told you so" from Blair. But who knows what will appear on the horizon. Maybe their Romeo+Juliet romance will out-live Serena and Carter's random affair, and Blair will have a brand new nemesis.

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": Serena & Carter Making Headlines

Summer isn't officially over until Gossip Girl announces it. And what marked the end this time? Why the official start of Blair and Chuck's mature relationship, of course.

Keeping it fresh for us ADD-stricken drama-lovers, Blair and Chuck spent the summer role-playing. Blair would pick out some flirtatious strumpet for Chuck to seduce, and then she'd swoop in to play the scorned woman just so they could feed off the adrenaline of the moment when they took a roll in the hay. Of course, B eventually got too jealous after Serena planted thoughts in her mind, and she started doubting him. I love the part when she justified her suspicions of his infidelity by saying: "You're Chuck Bass," and he responded with: "I'm not Chuck Bass without you." Awwww. They resolved to keep the games inside the bedroom, playing incompetent waiter and under-served restaurant customer. Wow! It's like they're already middle-aged. lol

Acting more her age, Serena spent the entire summer trying to get photographed doing questionable things, like partying it up in clubs and making appearances at several locations that minors aren't welcome. No worries. She isn't back to her old ways. She was trying to get her father's attention, since after Carter helped her find him, he refused to see her. *Gasp* Everyone loves S...except her father. And by the desperate and threatening voice mail messages she leaves him, I think it's safe to bet she won't be giving up on this crusade any time soon. Lily, unfortunately, is too busy caring for her dying mother to regulate S's behavior, and she left Rufus in charge. Poor Rufus. He reunites with his true love and he's forced to babysit four kids for an entire summer. Granted, it was in the Hamptons, but that's still a long way away from his rock star tour from last year. With S under his care, he's about to see what real fatherhood feels like, especially since Carter seems to be taken with Serena, in the way that Chuck was with Blair. This could be the start of a recurring role on the series for Sebastian Stan, or maybe it's just a blip on S's radar till something better comes along. After all, he is Carter Baizen, and the show has to have at least one resident jerk. For now though he's helping her diligently with her attempts to get daddy's attention, he's effortlessly convincing her to sleep with him, and he's made no threats towards anyone. Impressive. Alright, so maybe I set the bar kind of low. lol

Rufus's real daddy issues will arise when his illegitimate son Scott tells him who he is. In the mean time, he's busy romancing Vanessa. Boy, I can't wait till she finds out that he initially befriended her to get closer to Dan and the Humphrey's. She's going to flip. Or maybe not. She did hookup with Nate one night in Prague and seems to be barely phased by it. Maybe now that she has dreadlocks (ill) she's totally chill about romantic entanglements. Then again, she could just be officially numb to Nate's faux good-guy persona. Ugh! I thought nothing of his random makeout session with a beautiful red head named Brie Buckley (Joanna Garcia from "Privileged"), who he just met on a helicopter ride, but I nearly barfed when he decided to use her to his own advantage after discovering she's a member of a family his grandfather despises. Ok fine, your grandfather's a prick. Introduce her to him and give him a silent f*ck you. But don't immediately brush her aside after she's served her purpose. Douche move. Not to mention, just because you're all gun-ho to chuck your family fortune doesn't mean she is, so maybe you should've told her she was making an appearance at an Archibald function before she taints her rep. Man, he's a self-centered douche. But I'm sure he'll get his. Not only is his grandfather planning on using their relationship to his advantage, but I bet Brie has something up her sleeve as well. Her sob story about rebelling against her family and wanting to be reaccepted into it seemed far too innocent. She seems like the perfect catalyst for a future scandal that either Chuck or Blair will have to save him from. Can't wait.

The only people who stayed out of trouble this summer were Dan, Lil J, and Justin. But that doesn't mean nothing's changed with them. If you remember, Dan always had a major problem with Serena's rich lifestyle and yuppy atmosphere. He never felt like he fit in, which, along with her overdramatic behavior, tore them apart. But he had all summer long to enjoy the wonders of the Hamptons, of free car services, designer clothing, and cash-filled wallets now that he has a new mommy. (Speaking of which, where's his real mom?) And Vanessa has noticed. She had the best lines of the night, making the comparison: "Even Frodo eventually gave into the power of the ring." She also slung some sass at the lovebirds after deciding to crash the Archibald polo match to confront Dan: "I'm sure Blair and Chuck will be there, if the murder-suicide I predicted hasn't happened yet."

However, I wouldn't say Dan has changed very much. He's still snarky and resistant to hob-nobbing too heavily, but he is a little more relaxed around the rich and the aimless. It's like GG said last year. He's not an outsider anymore. Nope. That title is reserved to Blair this season when they all start classes at NYU. By the previews it seems she doesn't want to associate with Dan, Vanessa, and Scott when they're on campus. She wants a new start. But when none of the Village kids want to acknowledge her greatness, she'll have to turn to Dan for a hipster makeover. I think I might die laughing. NYU is my alma mater, and while I won't say the average girl is anything like Blair, I will say that it'll be a joy to watch them eat her up and spit her out. Welcome to the Lower East Side bitch! lol

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": Valley Girls Prelude & Chuck as a Fairy Godmother

Valley Girls
One of GG's one-liners summed up the spinoff's premise perfectly: "If you think we're bad, you should've seen our parents." The series will indeed beef-up the scandal with drug abuse and industry double-crosses, but its most interesting tidbits were the introductions.

First off, the brunette bouffant-bearing boy in the previews didn't turn out to be a young Rufus. His name is actually Owen Campos (Shiloh Fernandez from "Jericho," who kind of looks like the product of a Chuck+Dan+Joaquin Phoenix orgy). That's not that major right? Wrong!! Because as it turns out, according to Lily's mom, he was her first love--the boy she forced her to give up in the Valley. Hmm, wonder if he'll pose a threat in the future...and I wonder if Rufus knows he was his replacement. Honestly, they're practically the same boy: a brunette, music lover with a penchant for blondes.

The second big reveal was a blonde douche who kind of resembled a Ken doll...if Ken were an asshole. His name? Keith van der Woodsen (Matt Barr, the crazed stalker on "One Tree Hill")! So either Lily marries the rich guy who took advantage of her sister Carol and refused to give up the music video he promised her (because her mother forces her to) or he has a much nicer and less threatening brother/cousin waiting in the wings. I'm hoping for the latter. Either way, witnessing the road she goes down to ultimately obtain the surname will be quite interesting...especially because she has to give up Rufus' kid before she can ever have Serena. I can't imagine what redeeming quality Keith could possibly possess to get her to marry him after sleeping with her sister and pretty much insinuating that she'd only get the music video back if she did it again.

Besides the reveals, I was totally feeling the sisterly vibe. GG is normally about female rivalries, so it was refreshing to see less catty behavior. The series setup tells us that Lily got kicked out of school on purpose so she could spend quality time with her workaholic dad, who seems to be hiding something--probably a new wife. When he rejects her attempt to move in and she realizes that her only other option is her shrill mother, she opts to drive all the way to Cali to find her sister with only $9 in her wallet. Even in the '80s that wasn't enough to survive on. Carol moved there to be an actress. We know from GG that Lily was a photographer at rock shows and that's how she met Rufus, who was in a band. We've already seen the inside of the club she'll probably meet all the rockers she'll later photograph and we saw the diner she'll probably get a job at in order to make ends meet. Consider the scene set.

I think as long as it continues with the twists and turns that hint at a future Lily, it just might garner an audience. The best part of launching a spinoff while the original is still on the air is that it entices viewers to watch both, because once you watch a young Lily, you'll want to see what she turned out like, and once you get invested in the older Lily's love life, you'll wonder what led her there. Genius.

Chuck's Fairy Godmother Act
I was pretty certain that Chuck was the one who got Blair the gorgeous black-and-gold dress and screwed up all of her other prom plans. But he swore that he wasn't trying to break them up. However, I'm sure that if it were a by-product of his desire to give her the night of her life, he wouldn't exactly be angry. lol Nate seemed to take it like a man when Blair broke up with him. Although, I'm sure he feels like an ass now cause he totally ditched Vanessa for her. But hopefully this'll open doors for fresh new faces next season cause we all know Nate "the manwhore" Archibald can't go a week without a new girlfriend.

Favorite parts:
• When Blair wanted to see the damage done to her prom dress by the dry cleaners, Derotta says in her best broken English: "This body bag--corpse not pretty."

• When Dan calls Lily to ask if Serena was ignoring his apologetic messages, unaware that she volunteered to stay in jail until her mother agreed to let her live her life, he whines: "I can't leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man...not that it's exactly manly to be calling her mother but..."

• Blair at first objected to the idea of prom queen before being nominated: "We don't do prom queen. That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."

• Young Lily taunts Owen with these lines when he sees her uncharacteristically dressed punk chic in her sister's clothes and he later says the exact same lines to her when they lock eyes while dancing: "Is this the moment you fall in love with me? Oh it is isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now!"

Next week is going to be insane!! Georgina! Carter Baizen!! And a Gossip Girl take-down!!! And don't get me started on Blair's demand for Chuck to tell her that he loves her again. It's going to be epic.

TV Recap: "Gossip Girl": The Bitch is Back

While we were watching "Gossip Girl" last night, some of the GGers were busy strutting their stuff on the couture carpet of the "Model As Muse" Gala:


I don't know about you guys, but I think the newly blonde Leighton (left) looks like a circus reject. Luckily, in last night's episode, she was in top form. I loved the part when she told Georgina that the Bible would be pamphlet-sized if you took out all of the vengeance plots, prompting Georgina to quote B's favorite passage, "And they shall know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance on them." Of course, by the end, we learned that reawakening the old Georgina to take down Poppy Lifton may have been a mistake. The dark shades are back on, the cold-hard stare is in full-effect, and the dramatic declarations are borderline blasphemous. In response to informing B that she's handling the situation once-and-for-all after their plan to trick Poppy with a new naive investor backfired:

Blair: "I don't think Jesus would approve of that."
Georgina: "Well, you can tell Jesus that the bitch is back."

I'd be pissed too if I went through the trouble of getting in touch with my spiritual self if only to learn that you can't survive high society living with just a cross and holy water. It's a shame, because it seems Georgina really was reformed. When B got her to pretend to be a naive oil heir looking to invest philanthropically, I figured she was only slightly tainted. Lying used to be her forte, but now she was doing it to help someone instead of harm. The only thing I didn't buy was her inability to figure out what to do when Poppy demanded a cash investment. Georgina needed to text Chuck and inform him that she got everything on tape, but without a wire transfer as an excuse to touch her phone, she had to hand over her church camp bible-buying money to keep up the ruse. Finding Jesus is one thing, but forgetting every conniving trick you've ever used and thought of is ridiculous. It's not like church wipes out your memory. This isn't the "Dollhouse" sweetie. There are a million reasons to text someone mid-conversation—just ask a teenager.

The best part of the night had to have been the intense staring contest between Chuck and Blair, when she asked him to define their relationship and essentially tell her if they would ever have a future together. Chuck took a deep breath and lied through his teeth, telling her that he hates to lose to Nate, so he was just trying to steal her away for kicks. And with that she oddly informed Nate that he wasn't interested and she was all his now. Wow! I've never seen someone so excited to be someone's second choice. Oh wait! Just a few weeks ago, it seemed Nate had done the same thing to B, making her wait before ultimately choosing her over Vanessa. Their relationship won't last though. It's only a matter of time before either Chuck or Blair demands they have a relationship. After all, neither are accustomed to not getting what they want.

Regarding this whole embezzlement scheme, I think Lily should've just butt out. I get why Dan did it. There's no way I'm letting either one of them get away with my Yale tuition. But Serena has taken care of herself for a majority of her adolescence. And wherever she failed, Chuck, Blair, Nate, and the nanny picked up the slack. If I were her and I wanted to put Poppy Lifton in an early social grave, I'd do it. But I guess this whole situation just serves as a segue into next week's episode where we get to see a glimpse into the life of young Lily and a sneak peek at the new series that'll debut this Fall. It looks more upbeat and "Gilmore Girls"-ish than I expected, like Rory but born rich and as uptight as Paris with Lorelai as a sister instead of a mom. I didn't get a good look at what I'm assuming is young Rufus, but he didn't seem that hot. He needs to be Dan-brooding-artist hot. We'll see.

For 145 red carpet snapshots of the Gala, click here.

TV Recap: "Gossip Girl": The Seder

The most interesting vignette of last week's episode—despite the show's efforts of giving the Seder maximum screen time—was most certainly Chuck's epiphany. It started off when he harmlessly mocked Serena upon her return from Spain, and classically interrupted Jenny's date with her lab partner. Jenny reamed him out for disrupting her date and told him he was lucky he had a family to come home to—and even luckier because she hadn't yet told her father of the time he tried to rape her (I'm just as shocked as you are). She was right. He does enjoy coming home to a family, since despite the fact that he had a visitor, he was the first eager beaver to greet Serena when she returned. Sure it was under the pretense of catching her in the lie that she hadn't been up to no good in Spain, but he always needs a guise to show he cares.

The night seemed to climax, ironically, when he sent his date home unsatisfied, and even when he apologized to Jenny whole-heartedly, promising to not be around if she moved in for her peace of mind, but it was actually at its best when Nate came over to sulk. (Is it just me or is it inconsiderate of him to vent about breaking up with a treacherous Blair, knowing Chuck is in love with her?) There was a part where Nate condemned her, saying she hadn't changed since she made a deal with his grandfather to persuade him to go to Yale in exchange for getting her in. But Chuck didn't pat his friend on the back and agree, he told him straight-up that had she not changed she would've chosen Chuck over him. The truth is she did. She could've sided with his grandfather even after it was revealed that he was the one who had his father investigated, but she didn't. She forfeited Yale for him. Like Chuck said, she just needs someone to believe in her. Sulky Chuck is always so revelatory. Right then, Nate should've realized how in love his bff was. He should've stepped aside. I thought for a second that's what he went to do when he showed up at her house, but I guess not.

Perhaps the previews of B and Chuck spending the night together and holding hands in the backseat of a limo are signs of what we've all been waiting for. Speaking of previews, I CAN'T WAIT to see a born-again Georgina tonight. Last time I checked, hell didn't freeze over and pigs aren't flying anywhere.

Favorite Lines from the Episode:
• Blair described the NYU student lifestyle as reading Beloved and experimenting with lesbianism. I went to NYU. F U Blair. I can't wait to see if she actually attends the university. I can't imagine how she'll treat the other underclassmen—probably as warmly as she does Dan. Oooh I wonder if she'll dorm. The roommate possibilities are endless. She could get a female version of Dan. That would be priceless.

• Serena wondered why Chuck slept with a girl the night before if the last time she saw him, he was pining after Blair. He admitted that he was, then countered with: "But then I realized I'm a 17 year old billionaire with tremendous stamina." He never fails to make my skin crawl.

TV Topic: "Gossip Girl": Jenny's Sweet 16, Vanessa & Chuck Hookup, and the other Humphrey Son

It's not very often that some bizarre happening on this series pulls me back into reality long enough to say, "Am I in the Twilight Zone?," but last night there were several.

For starters, the "love" rectangle that involved Nate, Blair, Vanessa, and Chuck. The fates of these four rested on the weak shoulders of the indecisive and unreliable Nate. He basically told Blair that since V had walked out on him at his family reunion and they hadn't spoken in a week, he was going to talk to her, and if they break up, he and Blair can be together. Translation: If I see her and feel like dumping her tonight, you can fill her slot. If that wasn't completely insane enough, B was totally game for it. She was slightly disappointed, pushy, and obnoxious, but game. Meanwhile, V continued her journey down the Upper East Side rabbit hole by not only kissing Chuck in front of them, but then secretly having sex with him...TWICE! Wasn't she utterly repulsed by him before? What? Is it a natural transition to be sexually dissatisfied by Nate and then reinvigorated by Chuck? lol

Bizarro moment number two came right around the time Jenny opted out of having a huge Sweet 16 with the who's-who's of Manhattan society for chili and board games instead. I didn't think it was a lame idea. I mean, you do have the rest of your teen-less life to not share your bday with your family. And it made perfect sense with her new outlook on life. What was strange was Serena's sudden sense of entitlement fueled by Poppy Lifton's return. She told Serena that a "girl like her" has better things to do than make-up-and-break-up with her high school boyfriend and feud with her frenemy. Hmm, I guess that's reserved for us average folks. Poppy's idea of good living is flying on rich men's jets to exotic locales and shopping till it's dark enough to party all night long. Lucky for her, that was old Serena's idea of fun too, and with just a little nudge from her mother's judgmental lectures, that old Serena can easily be reawakened. S had the audacity to pretend like it wasn't her fault that Jenny felt the need to turn her "sophisticated" soirée into a rager. Little J specifically stated that she didn't want a stranger-filled party. If you didn't invite all of your friends, then she wouldn't have had to get even with you. Grow up S. She's only 16.

Both Chuck and Blair have had their wild phases this season, you'd think she'd learn from their mistakes. But I guess everyone's tired of working so hard to be who people expect them to be. First Jenny got tired of trying to fit in. Then Chuck got tired of being daddy's little boy. Blair got tired of being the Queen B. Nate got tired of not having a plan for his future. V got tired of...fighting off Chuck's advances. lol And now Serena's tired of pretending she isn't naturally irresponsible. Off to Espana she goes...to get married?

The major bomb that dropped last night didn't even get more than two minutes of air time. No, not Nate and Blair's lakeside makeout session. It turns out Dan's illegitimate brother knows his true identity and plans on infiltrating the Humphrey clan by sucking up to Dan and praising his writing. The question is: Will his adoptive parents' attempt to deter him by deleting Dan's phone call work, or will he be determined enough to jump on a train/bus and pay his "idol" a visit?

Can't wait for the drama!!!

Side note: I love the part when Chuck and Dan had their usual exchange of quips over a quick breakfast, like when Dan said: "It would almost be scary if it wasn't wearing plaid." Aww, they're brothers. I hope when the shit hits the fan, Dan turns to Chuck for words of wisdom...or sarcasm. Either's fine with me.

BUZZ: Bynes on ABC, Stooges Cast, "Phillip Morris" to DVD, Twilight Werewolves, and more

• Amanda Bynes gave feature films a shot, but Hollywood's more interested in T&A than they are genuinely hilarious, young, female leads. So she's resorted to returning to TV for ABC's comedy pilot "Canned." It's about a group of friends, who get fired in a corporate shake-up. Bynes will play a naive, hard-working Midwestern girl.

• I guess Michelle Trachtenberg won't be joining "Gossip Girl" as a regular, since she just joined NBC's medical drama "Mercy," where she'll play a new nurse.

• Wow! I think I've maybe seen one "Three Stooges" episode, but even I would agree that the casting of Sean Penn (Larry), Jim Carrey (Curly), and Benicio del Toro (Moe) as the infamous trio is a little weird.

• Nicole Kidman joins the star-studded cast (Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, and Anthony Hopkins) of Woody Allen's next film.

• And so it begins. 17 Again's stuck-in-a-different-time-period plot has revived the trend and now Disney has greenlit Wouldn't It Be Nice. It's a teen comedy of sorts about two teenagers who want to runaway together, but are magically zapped twenty years into the future and slapped with the reality of their three kids and adult responsibilities. Sounds like it could be hilarious. However, while one of the writers, Barry Blaustein, wrote the classic Coming to America, he also wrote The Honeymooners. And if that isn't bad enough, Paramount is adapting Sarah Mylnowski's young adult novel Gimme a Call, which is about a high school senior who can only make calls to her 14-year-old self after her phone falls into a fountain. With this connection to the past, she could possibly change her present for the better.

• An odd mix of young Hollywood actors have been chosen to helm the crime drama Kill Your Darlings, which is about the murder of David Kammerer by Lucien Carr, "a Columbia University student who had been pursued sexually by Kammerer and stabbed him to death one night while fending him off. Carr, whose friends at Columbia included Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs, dumped Kammerer's body in the Hudson River and spent a couple days deciding whether or not to confess to the murder." While his friends were revolutionary writers, he went to jail for two years and then had a family. Intriguing, no? Struggling newcomer Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) would play Ginsberg, Chris Evans (Fantastic Four) would be Kerouac, and Brit Ben Whishaw (Perfume: The Story of a Murderer and Brideshead Revisited) would be Carr.

• Alright look, I'm sure with the right resources Catherine Hardwicke could've made Twilight amazing, but the fact is: she didn't. So I don't know why any studio would trust her with another supernatural teen novel adaptation, but she is in talks to adapt Maximum Ride, a series about genetically altered teens who are part human and part bird, and whose enemies are half wolf. I can't wait to see what she makes that look like.

• I never usually want to see horror-themed flicks, but All About Eve sounds pretty damn interesting. "The story centers around a mousy librarian, who has inherited her father's beloved but failing old movie house. In order to save the family business she discovers her inner serial killer -- and a legion of rabid gore fans -- when she starts turning out a series of grisly shorts. What her fans don't realize yet is that the murders in the movies are all too real." Natasha Lyonne (Slums of Bevery Hills) and Thomas Dekker ("Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles") star.

• Maybe it's because I just watched the season finale of "Secret Life of an American [pregnant] Teenager," but I thought the plot of this new rom-com was hilarious: "The comedy follows what happens to the relationship of two male best friends and when the son of one gets the daughter of the other pregnant." Well duh! The father of the daughter kills his friend's son. End of movie...and friendship.

• I think it's straight up bullshit that they're trying to release the dramedy I Love You Phillip Morris, which stars Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor as ex-con lovers, direct-to-DVD. They claim it's too risque, but let's be honest: It's just too gay for them. Sure it has graphic sex scenes, but so do a lot of R-rated teen movies and even crappy rom-coms like Good Luck Chuck, and yet they get released in theaters. You don't want to see it? Fine. But don't hate.

• If I'm not mistaken most Coen Brothers movies are focused on male characters, but their next flick, an adaptation of the western True Grit, will star a 14-year-old girl, who, along with an aging U.S. marshal (please let it be Tommy Lee Jones, simply because he was born-and-bred for that profession) and another lawman, tracks her father's killer in hostile Indian territory.

• You know how when you go out to a club or a bar, you have a wing(wo)man? Well, apparently, when all of your friends get boy/girlfriends, you have the option of using some other single acquaintance who you met through friends as your wing(wo)man. That's the brilliant (note the sarcasm) plot behind Cameron Diaz's next rom-com. No doubt, they'll fall for each other while commiserating about how the other is a great catch.

• Amanda Seyfried must hate her job right now. Her obligation to HBO's "Big Love" has forced her to drop out of the lead role for Zack Snyder's graphic novel adaptation Sucker Punch. Bummer. Or maybe when she found out that Vanessa Hudgens was in it too and that Snyder's Watchmen didn't do as well as expected (it just cleared it's budget with a worldwide gross of $160 mil after 3 weeks in theaters), she just used her day job as an excuse. Ouch.

• The werewolves of Twilight have been cast. Chaske Spencer ("Into the West") will play Sam Uley, and the rest of the beasts will be played newcomers Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon and Tyson Houseman. I love that they're all really Native American. (This would be a perfect time to protest and reclaim America. I mean, you'd at least have the vote of all Twilight lovers, which by ticket, book, magazine, and DVD sales counts as a majority of America.)

• It seems Zac Efron is no longer interested in doing Footloose or any musical for that matter. He probably thinks it's time to put on his serious actor face. You know, do something like an adaptation of Ben Sherwood's The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud. It's a drama about "a caretaker at a cemetery who manages to have weekly meetings with a younger brother whose accidental death he feels was his fault." Break out the tissues.

BUZZ: Efron as "Johnny Quest," Bekmambetov & Downey Jr., "House of Flying Daggers" Remake, and more

• James Tupper (Jack from "Men in Trees") will join NBC's drama "Mercy" as the resident McDreamy.

• Zac Efron is looking to destroy his commercial career Emile Hirsch-style. Much like the indie prince who tried his hand at blockbusters with Speed Racer, Efron is rumored to be up for the lead in The Adventures of Johnny Quest. The cartoon series, which centered on a computer wiz who brings down international criminals for the Quest Foundation, originated in the 60s and was revived in the late 90s. The content is very futuristic and I'm a little worried on how they plan on recreating Questworld, a coveted weapon and unpredictable computer-generated virtual reality. In the cartoon, Johnny would wear a headset to solve puzzles, locate hidden objects, battle evildoers and escape death. But that could easily turn out looking like Robert Rodriguez's The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D...which looked cheesy. Well, we'll see. Also, The Rock is being considered for the role of Johnny's bodyguard Race Bannon--I see he's trying to corner the kiddie market, what with his latest involvement in the Race to Witch Mountain remake.

• Oh how I love Timur Bekmambetov, the genius behind Wanted, Day Watch, and Night Watch. His next project, The Days Before, is about "a race of aliens who invade Earth by traveling backwards through time and wiping out humanity, one day at a time, yesterday by yesterday." That sounds difficult to film, but since the hero of the film has to "stay a yesterday ahead of them" and "convince the world that the end is coming" every day, it'll be kind of like Groundhog's Day meets Independence Day, but with better cinematography. I'm totally psyched that America is embracing one of my favorite directors, but I'm also excited about Robert Downey Jr. and Reese Witherspoon possibly scoring the lead roles. I just hope that Witherspoon takes a page out of Downey's handbook and changes her look up a bit. Blonde and puppy-dog-eyed is only interesting the first one hundred times around. I know she changed it up a lot for her role in Walk the Line, but she kind of had to. Otherwise, she's usually just your average blonde. I hope she takes creative liberties with her look like she did in one of the films she produced Penelope. I like wild child Reese.

• For God knows what reason Sam Raimi is rumored to be making an Americanized version of House of the Flying Daggers, the 2004 Oscar-nominated Asian epic.

• Paul Giamatti has expressed interest in playing the Penguin in future Batman films. Hmm.

• Jean-Claude Van Damme is interested in doing Bloodsport 2, a sequel to his 1988 classic film, Wrestler-style, with the lead as a drunk, abusive bum. Look what Mickey Rourke started--not everybody gets to have a comeback people.

• Newcomer Armie Hammer is set to gueststar on the last three episodes of "Gossip Girl" this season as Serena's new boy toy, a sexy European socialite. He'll get her into the trouble that they'll have to call on Georgina to get her out of. Can't wait.

TV BUZZ: Georgina's Return on "Gossip Girl," Chloe Hides Doomsday on "Smallville," and more

• "Gossip Girl": Nate and Blair are going to kiss. Serena's going to start dating a very mature Euro socialite who's been all over the world. If you remember, Serena used to talk about how she wanted to take a year off of school and travel the world. He's practically perfect for her. Unfortunately, her storyline is ripped from the gossip headlines. Apparently, her relationship will be similar to what Anne Hathaway went through with her money laundering boyfriend. The only difference is that Serena will be in even worse trouble--so much that she and Blair will have to ask Georgina to get her out of it.

• "Gossip Girl" spinoff: Confessions of a Shopaholic's Krysten Ritter will play young Lily's troubled big sister.

• "Smallville": Lois will try to catch the Red Blue-Blur by pretending to be a superhero called Stiletto. And Chloe will hide Doomsday..and bring him human snacks...as in, made out of humans.

• Inspired by the fandom behind Twilight, CW greenlit another supernatural teen drama adaptation, "Vampire Diaries." It's about "a tragic young heroine who is the object of passion for two vampire brothers -- one good, one evil -- who are at war for her soul and for the souls of her friends, family and other residents of the small town in which she resides."

• TNT's "Leverage" was renewed for another season, which I think is ridiculous, since it really isn't all that entertaining.

• The CW is pushing up the season finale of "Privileged" to Feb. 24th, which doesn't bode well for the freshman series since it hasn't been greenlit for a second season yet. Once it's over, "Reaper" will premiere, pushing "90210" to 9pm.

• Watch a preview of Benjamin McKenzie ("The O.C.") on NBC's new cop drama "Southland."

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": Dan & Ms. Carr, Chuck & Mystery Girl

The winner of the most interesting plot of the night goes to....drum roll please...Dan Humphrey?

Dan + Ms. Carr
That's right kids--the student-teacher sex romp finally came to pass and put Pacey's lame tryst on "Dawson's Creek" to shame. When you want to bag an older woman in a position of authority, always go for one in her 20s--at least there's a future there. Although, maybe not for Dan. When evil Blair picked on her, spreading rumors of her non-existent relationship with Dan, she took it to the dean again and got her expelled. Her father wasn't having it and he demanded that the situation be addressed in an emergency parent's association meeting. Was it just me or were there not enough parents there? Anyway, B was lucky that Ms. Carr is socially retarded enough to meet up with Dan hours before having to attend the meeting. Crying on his shoulder in suggestive positions led Serena to believe the rumors were true. I nearly screamed my head off when it took her all of 60 seconds to realize she should snap a photo--boy is she slow. I thought B was overdoing it when she wanted to retaliate for having to do community service (which of course Derrota ended up doing), and I even thought waging war because of newly implemented in-school cell phone restrictions initiated by Ms. Carr was a bit much. But getting a senior kicked out of high school and off the Yale admission's list is completely and unequivocally grounds for all-out war. If I were B, the rumor would've been much worse than pedophilia and a violation of ethics. Too bad Chuck was too busy in his own bizarro world. She could've borrowed the list he compiled to destroy his uncle Jack.

In the end, Ms. Carr ended her flimsy friendship with Serena, who was uncharacteristically interested in being a writer all of a sudden, and began a less platonic one with Dan. Unfortunately, she wasn't aware that the headmistress was trying to call and give her her job back after realizing that she had no actual proof of the allegations and was susceptible to a major lawsuit, so she totally rocked Dan's world. If Serena was intimidated by her before, she's going to want to crawl into a deep hole after this. Luckily, they ended their relationship before he went that far, but I'm sure she'll think of a reason to be pissed anyway. Can't wait to see what goes down the morning-after--Dan isn't exactly the smoothest of lovers. I also can't wait to see if Ms. Carr will return to work still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed or if she'll have grown an armored layer under which she'll be plotting her revenge.

Chuck + Mystery Girl
I want to first say that any situation that pulls Chuck further away from Blair is unwelcome. That said, I do find it mildly interesting that his father was in a secret society that he could possibly join. But I probably would've taken it a little more seriously if Nate and Vanessa weren't busy making fun of it during the entire episode. Last week, I learned that Chuck would wake up in his bed without any knowledge of how he got there, and only vague memories of a beautiful girl seducing him in a room full of masked people. V describing it as "the Chuck Bass version of Narnia" was pretty funny, but her otherwise unnecessary involvement was disappointing. However, I am glad that she's still nice to him. He can use all the friends he can get. Especially ones that humor his sudden obsession with girls who kidnap, drug, and abandon him. Oh Chuck, you need therapy. The girl was completely uninteresting. The fact that she never got home and her employers are worried about her disappearance is also uninteresting. Where this will lead him and what path it'll offer him, however, is intriguing.

SPOILERS: Chuck's Lost Memory on "Gossip Girl," Callie & Arizona on "Grey's," and more

"Gossip Girl"
• Chuck will wake up in a hotel with little memory of what happened the night before. That pretty much sounds like a Tuesday for him. But I guess since he's supposed to be on the straight and narrow these days after rejoining the Van der Woodsen gang, it's a little disconcerting.
• According to EW's Ausiello, "It just might come to pass that Serena and Blair find themselves in a situation where they have no recourse other than to recruit Georgina Sparks." O. M. G. I really hope this is because of Miss Carr. I so very much want her to be a devil in disguise. That sweet little girl from the country crap won't fly with me. There's a reason she got where she is at such a young age, and it isn't because of her smile.

"The Office"
• Ryan will make a "dramatic" return later in the season. Hmm, should Kelly take him back or would playing hard to get be more amusing?

"90210"
• In April, Tori Spelling will return to the zip code as Donna, and we'll meet Dixon's birth mother. Oh my god! Is it Tori? lol I'm kidding. I would never wish such fresh hell on such a tortured soul.

"Chuck"
• The good news: Someone's finally going to start noticing how peculiar Chuck's lifestyle is. I vote for either Ellie or Morgan. The bff would be funnier, but if his sister finds out, she might at least stop worrying so much.
• The bad news: The writers are trying to shove all of the necessary plot lines into the next 10 episodes in case there isn't another season. Tear.
• Good news to soften the blow of the bad news: Jordana Brewster will return to play Chuck's backstabbing ex Jill in the season finale!

"Grey's Anatomy"
• Denny will still be a figment of Izzie's imagination all the way through March. By April, she'll be diagnosed with something that'll cure even us...of sheer boredom.
• That new doc, Arizona, who pisses Bailey off, is actually developing into a love interest for Callie. Did not see that coming, since she's the most unsexualized character on the series, besides Bailey and the chief.
• In the Feb. 12th "Private Practice"-crossover episode, Callie will get advice from Addison that'll help her cope with her feelings for Arizona. Also, several of the doctors will be transferring to Addison's hospital for the day, while she's at there's, forcing us to watch her f*ing series. Won't that be confusing? I haven't seen that show since November. I tuned in last week and two of the characters, who used to barely acknowledge each other, were in a sexual relationship. The mean Southern doc from the major hospital had started her own practice and suddenly grew a heart when her daddy died. That guy who gave Stella her groove back is dating again, after trying to get his ex-wife away from the male nurse, who I think has a baby on the way. What? I am so freaking confused. They better fill us in or I'm just going to pretend like that episode was a figment of my imagination.

"Pushing Daisies"
• There are three final episodes, but there's a chance we won't get to see them until the DVD is released, which--for some of us unlucky Netflixers--means a year of seeing that "Very Long Wait" notice. They should add another one, like "Ridiculously Long Wait! Just Go Buy It. Have a Viewing Party in Your Neighborhood!"

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": Hit the Road Jack!

Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick, or Chuck Will Beat You with his Stick!
This week they curbed the "You-two-share-a-brother-oh-wait-you-don't" fiasco (as dubbed by
Dan) for the dethroning of Jack Bass (or JackBass, depending on how you read it). Chuck was seriously on the offensive. According to Lily, he tried the obvious approach, tempting his uncle with underaged girls, then planted coke in his gym bag, ambushed him with a transexual hooker ("Two--they owed me a favor."), tried to buy anthrax with his credit card, and got him on Megan's list ("If only his apartment were a few blocks closer to a playground."). He even wrote down more than twenty ideas for other tactical attacks to run by Lily, his temporary partner in crime--one of which involved a staged plane crash.

Luckily, Lily managed to simultaneously convince Chuck of her genuine concern for him and send Jack packing by legally adopting her little Charles, and gaining full control over Bass Industries. While she may have paid for her bravado when Jack tried to rape her in the Opera bathroom, she was reassured that she did the right thing when Chuck saved her. (Finally! He punches someone.) She later reinvites him to officially rejoin the family and move back into the house. Hmm, I wonder if the Humphreys will move in soon. Maybe Chuck and Dan will share a bathroom. lol And maybe he'll even get a little fatherly advice from Rufus. Can't wait for the Christmas card family photo.

Ms. Carr's Christening
Rachel Carr is Serena and Blair's new English teacher. She's so suburban that she referred to Brooklyn as that borough on the other side of the bridge. Why yes, non-New Yorker, that would be why we call it the Brooklyn Bridge. However, it's important that, as New Yorkers, we welcome newcomers, tourists, and migrators with open arms and open hearts...so that they can lower their guards long enough for us to haze them. So think of what Blair did as a mere initiation. While her actions were totally warranted--I mean, who gives B's to seniors in their second semester?--they could've been perceived as slightly childish, especially since Ms. Carr did eventually agree to give her a high average. Alas, B had already sent her to the wrong restaurant with hopes of going to the Opera, while she froze her naive little toush off. I would hardly call that humiliating, but then again, she is new in town. I'm sure she'll get the gist of how bad B's revenge could've been once B is finally through with her. It's one thing to stand in the way of Yale, but it's quite another to dangle it in front of her and then rip it away. Like B said, it's war. Something tells me though that Carr won't be easy to defeat. The way she whined to the headmistress was a little disconcerting. Maybe she has more pull than we know.

I read in the blogosphere that there'll be some type of storyline where B and Dan will be in a play together. Perhaps, the detention the headmistress has in store for her involves B having to participate in the arts, which she so clearly loathes by how she spat the word "poet" out at one point. I personally think making her kiss Dan would be punishment enough. lol I mean, if she won't name her new bulldog Handsome Dan as her fathers suggested, I doubt she'd ever agree to touching Dan in any affectionate manner whatsoever. However, it could make for interesting strife in a brand new love triangle that'll revive her tug-of-war with Chuck, especially since B and Dan will most likely be heading to Yale together. Speaking of which, I get that it was "Yale Day," but I really would've loved it if we could've learned where everyone else was going. Will Nate and Chuck be rooming together in the NYC for the next four years?

On a side note, I thought it was interesting that B said that this was a war she planned on winning. I hadn't noticed until now that she hasn't won any in a while. She lost the battle against Chuck and fell for him and she lost the battle against her stepfather, adding a third dad to the brood. I think she's in store for a win don't you? Or maybe she should accept this loss and save up her energy for the storm that Georgina will surely brew at the end of the season. She'll need all the fury she can muster.

Borderline Ridiculous Behavior
Okay, if you read this blog every week, you know I love GG. But I don't know if it's because of this momentous weekend of history in the making or if the writing was a bit off, but there were some truly over-campy moments that made me cringe:
• Blair screaming, "Cancel the Nelly Yuki project now!" was so overly dramatic.
• Her drones pretending to be the "Devil" on one shoulder and an "Angel" on the other was cute, but also very...middle school.
• Nelly, openly acting out towards Blair as though she stood a chance against her, was completely out of character.
• And, of course, the very end, when B ominously muttered to Derrota that soon she'd have to go "Black-ops" and "off the radar" to destroy Ms. Carr, was beyond bizarre.
Were they off this week or are they always this nutty?

QUOTES
Here are a few choice moments that reminded me why I love GG:
• A lovely exchange between Dan and Serena regarding Blair's psychotic obsession with getting into Yale:
D: What if I don't get in?
S: Forget you! What if I do and Blair doesn't?
D: Fire...and brimstone? And a lot of bitchy asides. Death by Derrota.
Wow! There's a "Death by Derrota"? What the hell does that look like?

• After a long night of old-people sex, Eric catches Lily and Rufus making out in the kitchen, which inspires him to declare: "I would say, 'Get a room,' but yours is RIGHT above mine. Please try to remember that."

• Blair was trying to explain to the headmistress that there's no way anyone would turn down Yale and give her their position, sneaking in a jibe at her favorite plebian: "Dan Humphrey? He's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery. You couldn't pry that acceptance from his hands with the jaws of life."

• Ahh, I love it when there are pop culture references. Dan felt the need to over-exaggerate how young the new English teacher is by saying: "That's Miss Clark? Does she have Benjamin Button syndrome?"

BUZZ: "Gossip Girl" 80s Spinoff, Scream 4, and more

TV NEWS
• On May 11th we'll be introduced to the context of Gossip Girl's spinoff. We'll see the beginnings of Lily and Rufus' relationship through flashbacks to the 80s that'll occur because of a problem she'll have to solve with Serena. "The spinoff will center on young Lily Rhodes (her maiden name) who, after a falling out with her parents, is forced to move in with her sister, the black sheep of the Rhodes family. Overnight, Lily has to transition from a life of luxury and education at a wealthy Montecito boarding school to living deep in the San Fernando Valley she once made fun of and going to public school. Caught between two worlds, Lily dives into the fast-paced Sunset Strip and the Hollywood lifestyle of the '80s, journeying over the hill to a world of wealth and excess that used to be her own. Eventually [much later in the series], she meets rocker Rufus Humphrey for a fling that will result in Lily's secret pregnancy..." The producers decided not to use any of the original actors because they didn't want to "upset the chemistry" of the present cast. Are you guys excited or even remotely interested? I'm just interested in what the 80s clothes and hair will look like.

• FOX has a new series, "Eva Adams," where a sexist, egotistical sports agent is turned into a woman by a witch so that he can experience first-hand what it's like to be harrassed and stereotyped. Rhea Seehorn ("The Starter Wife") will play the lead, and, even though he's been guest-spotting on "One Tree Hill," James Van Der Beek has also joined the cast, along with David Denman (Roy from "The Office").

FILM NEWS
• It's been eight years since we last saw a Scream film, and we could've sworn that we laid that baby to rest what with the countless Asian horror movie remakes and the eight billions Saw films. Unfortunately, a Scream 4 is in the works and they're courting the original actors to reprise their roles. Let's see. David Arquette and Neve Campbell shouldn't be too hard to nail down, but Courtney Cox Arquette has a new ABC series coming up, so she might still have some self-respect leftover...unless it gets canceled. My only hope for the sequel is that they're age-appropriate. I don't care how much botox you inject in your face, you are not in your thirties Courtney.
• Samuel L. Jackson won't be playing Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 anymore, because Marvel can't afford to foot the bill.

SPOILERS: Gossip Girl, Grey's, Burn Notice, Terminator, and more

• Chuck will team up with an unexpected ally against Jack to regain control over his father's company on Gossip Girl. Promo images are showing Lily, but I would be more entertained if it were Dan. However, if it was Lily, then that might answer the question of who and why she gets attacked. Also, someone will be pregnant by the end of the season and they're saying it's not Lily, Serena, or Jenny. Hmmm. Another blogger speculated that it could be Eleanor or Vanessa, but I pray--since Blair already had a scare--that it's Georgina with a surprise baby daddy. Lastly, not everyone who's graduating is going to college. I'm guessing Chuck might've screwed up his chances or maybe Nate can't afford it. But let's hope we won't be subjected to a year of watching Serena do nothing.
• Ugly Betty's Anna Ortiz is pregnant. While it won't be written into the show, they might claim that Hilda is gaining weight. I wonder if that will have an affect on her Queens ego. You know a girl gotta look good.
• Someone's getting proposed to on the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. With Meredith's track record, I bet on anyone else--but mostly Izzie...and it better not be in her freaking imagination.
• We'll find out who burned Michael on the season finale of Burn Notice this Spring, as well as have the pleasure of watching him finally get over his issues and jump into the hay with Fiona.
• In the next chapter of Heroes, we'll meet Sylar's real dad, played by John Glover (Lex Luthor on "Smallville").
• A major character will die on Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles. I seriously doubt they'd kill off Brian Austin Green's character Derek. He's what made the show interesting again...before they made him boring.
• While HBO's True Blood will be returning this summer, CBS has canceled Swingtown.
• I previously reported that there will be 4+ Prison Break episodes left in the series, but it has been recently confirmed that there will be six. Hmm, I wonder if Gretchen or T-Bag will make it out alive. Or if Michael and Sara will get them matching coffins.
• I guess Lipstick Jungle is truly canceled, since Robert Buckley got a gig playing the editor-in-chief of the magazine that Will and Megan will start working at on the last two episodes of Privileged. Maybe with some in-office eye-candy, Megan might stray.

TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": Lily & Rufus' Son Dead?

Jack Bass, Chuck's uncle, may not have totally rocked Blair's world by telling Chuck that he banged his girlfriend, but there was a MAJOR secret revealed in the end. I was crushed when I learned that Lily and Rufus' kid died in an accident. Um, no not because he died and it's sad, but because there would be no drama. Alas, only minutes passed before my spirits were lifted with the news that the accident didn't happen to their kid, but to the adoptive parents' other kid. Those conniving ingrates are hellbent on keeping the Humphrey orphan a secret so they won't go through any more loss. Wow! And they say the rich are selfish. That's sure to blow up in their face some time soon though. Can't imagine he'll be pleased when he finds out.

Speaking of gut reactions...I like the way they dealt with the rest of the Van der Woodsen-Humphrey brood learning of their illegitimate brother. They maturely formed a bond--a somewhat incestuous bond that Serena justified with a Clueless-Alicia Silverstone-Paul Rudd reference, but a bond nonetheless. It's looking more and more like Lily and Rufus are going to rekindle their love--Gossip Girl readers be damned.

One couple that won't be lighting any candle-lit dinners any time soon is Chuck and Blair. I was under the impression that when a person tells you they love you, it means you're somewhat dating. Apparently, Blair read that as a declaration of friendship and Chuck read it as a marriage proposal. Blair told him: "Today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world." His dismissal of her constant attention and encouragement stemmed from his fear of settling down too soon without sowing his wild oats. Honestly, how much sowing could he possibly have left? He's been groping women since he was old enough to identify them. Unfortunately, B and C were in major denial. All it took were a few sly moves from a scorned Jack, who was bypassed for a majority holding of the company's stocks, for Chuck to be painted the irresponsible adolescent that he is in, not only the board's eyes, but Blair's too. It seems everyone gave up on him. I'm a little overjoyed that Blair finally mustered some self-respect. I like Chuck. Really, I do. But nobody makes Blair Waldorf look like a fool, which a super young English teacher will learn next week. Ahhh yes, the bitch is back!

And on a side note, I really wish Nelly and her lame ass posse would get a life and stop ruining everyone else's. I wish someone would stroll into that school and completely destroy their popularity status...if only so I never have to see their smug grins again.

Best Lines
• The lawyers ask Chuck if he'd like Jack as his legal guardian, prompting this dialogue: "Curfew?" asks Chuck. "None." responds Jack reflexively. "Girls sleeping over?" asks Chuck. "Yes, please," Jack responds with a pervy grin. "I'll allow it," Chuck declares.
• Chuck refuse to read the letter his father left him, guessing that it says something like: "You're a disappointment of a son. I'd die of embarrassment if I didn't already. Why do you wear so much purple?" Hilariously random.
• There were a lot of guy-bonding moments between Chuck and his spinning image, Jack, like the one where they compared previously used Gonorrhea medications (Rocephin and Suprax) like they were golf clubs or sports cars.
• Serena smugly gloats about her correct assessment that Blair was hoping for a romantic evening with Chuck, leading B to exclaim: "Spare me those expressive eyebrows. I can't wait till you get botox."