Funny lines and interesting or annoying plot points of the week:
Brothers & Sisters
The song Tommy lost his virginity to was the Dirty Dancing theme song. And super gay Kevin had the balls to say, "Be gayer." Plus I added a new phrase to this generation's colloquialisms: "Spite Invite." It's when you invite someone to act as your fake date in order to piss off your real significant other. Nice to know it has a name.
Desperate Housewives
Susan gets all up in Julie's love life again. She's appalled by her pierced date and Julie spouts that cliche, "Don't judge a book by its cover." And Susan says, "If the cover has wholes in it, the book is no good." Damn!
Chuck: the coolest episode yet
Not only did Chuck have seriously awkward moments when he was in the presence of his crush Sarah and her lover Bryce, but Morgan's new girlfriend Anna was acting more like a possessive stalker--not that he minds. In fact he was so entranced by Ellie's Thanksgiving dishes, that he practically simulated an orgasm while eating her sweet potato and marshmallows. That set Anna off and she told him he failed the test and I honestly felt sorry for him when he whined, "But why are there tests?" Even though all the lovey dovey storylines are cool, the funniest part was the immediate store evacuation on Black Friday initiated by the safe word: "Pineapple." And of course the priceless Morgan precursor plea for help with the damaged registers, "Dude you have to. You're the only guy old enough to know how the registers work. Okay? They're from the 80s." If getting shot while wearing a bullet proof vest and crying about it wasn't embarrassing enough for Chuck, Bryce made him geek-it up by forcing him to talk Clingon, not once but twice, in front of Sarah. Heck, instead of putting on a brave face in front of his archnemesis--like what he did didn't phase him--he had no problem lamely yelling in fear, "Sarah and Casey are right inside. One girlish scream from me and they go into combat mode."
Aliens in America
Every episode Justin gets geekier and geekier. When his mom got all Craigslist crazy, he squealed, "Did you sell my action figures?" She defended herself with, "Well honey you said you don't play with those anymore." But he couldn't help but frantically yell, "You know I was lying!!!"
Bones
I love how they used the "Santa's coming to town" song as a threat. Of course, I watched their mistletoe blackmail kiss about 6 times.
30 Rock
Trucker hat guy was hilarious when he admitted he was "gay for Jaimie," some young kid who tried to bag Liz. Of course she had words of wisdom: "You can't be gay for one person, unless you're a woman and you meet Ellen." Love the shout out.
Life
Apparently Charlie is infatuated with fruit because they don't have any in prison. Being the tomboy that she is Dani of course had to imply that he should've missed sex like a normal guy would. Slowly, however, she's starting to show him some respect. She gave him back the knife she commandeered after he used it to detain a suspect, which is a police no-no. As for the storyline, I liked the whole idea of showing how Charlie must've felt being locked up through the eyes of a kidnapped child.
Gossip Girl
This episode was a tad lame cause they dodged the whole Chuck-Blair hook up by implying that Chuck doesn't do family holidays so he doesn't get to be in this episode's version of a Jerry Springer-Hallmark card Thanksgiving. Without him we got lame lines from Dan like when he invited Serena's mom to his dinner and refused to take no for answer by saying, "I'm adult-napping you." How clever. And when he was on the verge of learning about her past relationship with his father, he blandly states, "Raise your hand if you're over 30 and you're acting really weird right now." Although we were in dire need of some Chuck wit, we did get a mention at least. When questioned about it by the oh-so-tactful Serena with "Tell me you didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge," Blair responded callously, "Well it wasn't because I like his natural musk." Wow, for a person who treasured her deflowerment so much, she sure didn't mind breezing through it. Of course, every episode we watch Blair be a bitch, she must also be redeemed with a look into the reason behind her malice and in this one we discover that she's been battling bulimia for a couple of years and men are always at the root of it. Next week, however, she gets her way. It seems Nate will give her the deflowering she's always wanted and Chuck will probably jump off a bridge.
Samantha, who?
Her mom has a way with words. When she wants Sam to start dating, she says, "Marriage doesn't just happen. You have to get out there and expose yourself to it, like chicken pox. I wish I'd done that with you. I'm still afraid you're going to catch it and die." Very comforting. Speaking of which her pep talks usually lead to scolding, like this one: "I did not raise you to use amnesia as an excuse." To which Sam responded correctly: "That would've taken enormous foresight." Luckily her mom grabs her a construction entrepreneur that's super hot (and out of her league in my opinion). But of course Andrea has to weigh in with: "When I asked you do you like him, what I'm asking you is what does he do for a living?" Sam says, "He owns a hardwood floor company." And of course Andrea responds: "Oh, so you hate him." No worries. What goes around comes around. Not only does loverboy know Italian (and did I mention that he's hot), but her own loverboy ditched her and Dena had to console her. Of course, she even had bitchy orders for that: "Don't hug me...just rub my arm."
Pushing Daisies
Olive sure does have an interesting way of letting Ned go. When Charlotte tried to console her she articulately snapped: "Here's what we're not going to do. We're not going to start with all this puppy-dog face, get back on your horse, and find a man crappola. So maybe you forgot, but Ned was the horse and you pushed me off, and I need to be angry before I can be all happy about it." But of course they bond over planting rats in the store of their competition and form a sisterhood solidified by the phrase, "Don't mess with the pie hoes," a variation on their shop's name The Pie Hole. Only on this show would that be cute.
Dirty Sexy Money
While Brian, the priest, is off being emotional about his son leaving the country, Jeremy is consistently becoming the funniest of the Darlings, even with Patrick hopped up on morphine because his wife shot him. When his new girlfriend is put off by his trashy apartment, he claims that her rejection of him is "like financial racism." Where does he even come up with this stuff?
Reaper
They spent most of the episode gathering ashes from what seemed like 100 people so a demon wouldn't possess the ashes and kill people. Of course Sock says after seeing a pile of zip-locked ashes in the trunk of his car, "I feel like the weirdest drug dealer in the world." But he makes a quick shock recovery with the inquiry: "You think you can snort this stuff?" Enuff said.
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