They spent the episode explaining what happened in the five years that we missed and how that contributed to the troubles they had that night:
+ Carlos lied about getting a vasectomy, which he had to confess because Gabby didn't get her period and she wasn't too keen on--and I quote--having "a 10 pound baby who's going to shoot out of my hoo-ha." She comically yelled: "Halle-damn-luyah I got my period!" right after Ms. McCluskey appeared to have a nervous breakdown courtesy of Edie's psycho husband Dave. He rearranged her furniture while Edie took her out for her birthday cocktail so that when she returned she would think that's she's losing her mind. Instead, she barged in on her surprise birthday over at Susan's house and tried to bean him in the head with a baseball bat, leading everyone to believe that she'd gone senile. Of course, in the end Dave admitted to her in the ambulance that he did do what she suspected, but he was genuinely sorry he had to get her out of the way so that the real person he was after would get what they deserved. He or the voice-over said it was a guy and my money's on Mike, since he was so interested in getting him to join the band and practically bought a house for him. I'm sure everyone's speculating that it has to do with the mother and child that died in that car accident, since Dave said his enemy ruined his life, but I hope there's a cooler secret beneath his slimey surface.
+ Meanwhile, it turns out that while Susan may have initiated the divorce proceedings, it was Mike who insisted they see it through when she balked at signing the papers. I think he was sick and tired of her overly dramatic behavior. It's a wonder that her boytoy hasn't caught on yet. Nope, instead he's declaring his love for her and asking if he can move in. Of course, she told Mike before they signed the papers that their love was a once in a lifetime thing, so I'm guessing she's never going to commit to anyone ever again. Or if she did, it wouldn't be to a 20-something house painter.
+ During those mysterious five years, Tom was electrocuted on the job and had to be revived. His near death experience jumpstarted his mid-life crisis, which lead to the purchase of the ruby red convertible and the recent purchase of an RV, which he wants to use for a year-long family road trip. How would they afford that you ask? No worries, he sold the restaurant...without asking his wife! Naturally, Lynette reminded him that the pizzeria they purchased was enough carpe diem to last her a lifetime. I don't think he was listening though.
+ Last but not least, Bree, who was the most shocking of the evening, became an alcoholic when Orson went to jail and her daughter took her grandson away. Her salvation came in the form of her former nemesis Katherine, who volunteered to move in in order to keep her on the straight-and-narrow. She told her that whenever she felt like wallowing in self-pity by taking a drink, she should focus on building her career, because Orson wouldn't want to come home to a drunken failure. You know, because ex-cons have standards. She was essentially returning the favor for when Bree gave her a job and made her partner after her world fell apart. So basically Bree's obsessive spotlight-hogging behavior is Katherine's fault, so she shouldn't complain when she does it.
Next week, I think I caught a glimpse of Carlos accidentally giving one of his clients an orgasm and Tom supposedly being tempted by a seductress (or maybe that was Carlos' client--although posing would be pointless since he's blind).