* They dare to remake 1985's unintentionally hilarious martial arts drama The Last Dragon, completely unaware that they can never recreate how incredibly badass Sho'nuff sounded when he challenged our hero by snarling his name, "LEROY!" The mere mention of Samuel L. Jackson's over-the-top Snakes-on-a-Plane-acting being added to the mix as the villain makes my stomach turn.
* Empire nabbed some info from Mark Millar on his plans for the upcoming Superman trilogy: "It's gonna be like Michael Corleone in the Godfather films, the entire story from beginning to end, you see where he starts, how he becomes who he becomes, and where that takes him.... I want to start on Krypton, a thousand years ago, and end with Superman alone on Planet Earth, the last being left on the planet, as the yellow sun turns red and starts to supernova, and he loses his powers." Wow! Thanks for telling us the ending assh--e! On another note, Brandon Routh isn't a fan of a darker version of the character. It's funny how he thinks anyone cares.
* Push: Think of it as a less graphically impressive "Heroes," starring Chris Evans (Fantastic Four), Djimon Honsou (Blood Diamond), Camilla Belle (10,000 B.C.), and Dakota Fanning. Consider this Fanning's first action movie (if you don't count War of the Worlds, which I don't...for anything).
* 17 Again: I didn't want to like Zac Efron's first non-musical film, but it's actually pretty funny. Watch as he tries to mimic Matthew Perry's mannerisms in this role,where he plays a 30-something-old man who wakes up in a hot teenager's body, faced with the task of helping his wife and kids without seeming like an imposing stalker.
* Underworld: Rise of the Lycans: I find it hard to watch a film that I already know the ending to. This one was given away in previous Underworld flicks. But I guess if you love the gore and the lore, you'd be up for it.
* Fanboys: Let the Star Wars-worshipping in this hilarious teen comedy begin. I repeat, in the words of the bubble-trapped hamster in Bolt, "LET IT BEGIN!" Expect a ridiculous amount of legend references and cameos from Star Wars characters.
* Monsters vs. Aliens: So extraterrestrials come to Earth, specifically America, and demand that the reigns be handed over and the government decides to unleash its monsters to send the unstoppable aliens back to where they came from. Naturally, these monsters are as incompetent as the people who employ them. The animated characters are voiced by Seth Rogen, Reese Witherspoon, Will Arnett, Paul Rudd, Hugh Laurie ("House"), Kiefer Sutherland ("24"), Rainn Wilson ("The Office"), and the great Steven Colbert...oh and some other people.