Jack Bass, Chuck's uncle, may not have totally rocked Blair's world by telling Chuck that he banged his girlfriend, but there was a MAJOR secret revealed in the end. I was crushed when I learned that Lily and Rufus' kid died in an accident. Um, no not because he died and it's sad, but because there would be no drama. Alas, only minutes passed before my spirits were lifted with the news that the accident didn't happen to their kid, but to the adoptive parents' other kid. Those conniving ingrates are hellbent on keeping the Humphrey orphan a secret so they won't go through any more loss. Wow! And they say the rich are selfish. That's sure to blow up in their face some time soon though. Can't imagine he'll be pleased when he finds out.
Speaking of gut reactions...I like the way they dealt with the rest of the Van der Woodsen-Humphrey brood learning of their illegitimate brother. They maturely formed a bond--a somewhat incestuous bond that Serena justified with a Clueless-Alicia Silverstone-Paul Rudd reference, but a bond nonetheless. It's looking more and more like Lily and Rufus are going to rekindle their love--Gossip Girl readers be damned.
One couple that won't be lighting any candle-lit dinners any time soon is Chuck and Blair. I was under the impression that when a person tells you they love you, it means you're somewhat dating. Apparently, Blair read that as a declaration of friendship and Chuck read it as a marriage proposal. Blair told him: "Today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world." His dismissal of her constant attention and encouragement stemmed from his fear of settling down too soon without sowing his wild oats. Honestly, how much sowing could he possibly have left? He's been groping women since he was old enough to identify them. Unfortunately, B and C were in major denial. All it took were a few sly moves from a scorned Jack, who was bypassed for a majority holding of the company's stocks, for Chuck to be painted the irresponsible adolescent that he is in, not only the board's eyes, but Blair's too. It seems everyone gave up on him. I'm a little overjoyed that Blair finally mustered some self-respect. I like Chuck. Really, I do. But nobody makes Blair Waldorf look like a fool, which a super young English teacher will learn next week. Ahhh yes, the bitch is back!
And on a side note, I really wish Nelly and her lame ass posse would get a life and stop ruining everyone else's. I wish someone would stroll into that school and completely destroy their popularity status...if only so I never have to see their smug grins again.
Best Lines
• The lawyers ask Chuck if he'd like Jack as his legal guardian, prompting this dialogue: "Curfew?" asks Chuck. "None." responds Jack reflexively. "Girls sleeping over?" asks Chuck. "Yes, please," Jack responds with a pervy grin. "I'll allow it," Chuck declares.
• Chuck refuse to read the letter his father left him, guessing that it says something like: "You're a disappointment of a son. I'd die of embarrassment if I didn't already. Why do you wear so much purple?" Hilariously random.
• There were a lot of guy-bonding moments between Chuck and his spinning image, Jack, like the one where they compared previously used Gonorrhea medications (Rocephin and Suprax) like they were golf clubs or sports cars.
• Serena smugly gloats about her correct assessment that Blair was hoping for a romantic evening with Chuck, leading B to exclaim: "Spare me those expressive eyebrows. I can't wait till you get botox."
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