Alright, so "Glee" was on last Wednesday and I didn't review it. I LOVED it just like everyone else, but I didn't see the point of regurgitating what millions have been saying. However, I have to applaud the marketing team behind it, putting on a summer tour, making the songs available on iTunes, and releasing a soundtrack. Incredible!
So last week, we were treated to a truly boring rendition of Le Chic's "Freak Out!," a hilariously steamy performance of Salt n' Pepa's "Push It" (that I rewatched four times), the surprisingly well-choreographed cheerleader audition of Aretha Franklin's "Say a little prayer for you," and the incredibly beautiful solo of Rihanna's "Take a Bow" (that I rewatched three times). The dialogue is really funny too:
• Coach Sue Sylvester to Mr. Schuester: "You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy elderly mother...euthanize it!"
• "Secretly" gay student Kurt: "They're going to throw fruit at us, and I JUST had a facial."
• Kurt's opinion about Le Chic's song: "This song is gay."
This week, didn't have that great of a plot, but the performances still delivered. It was like we were being forced to take the good with the bad. For example:
• I didn't like that Mr. Scheuster started his own group, The Acafellas, but I did appreciate his spontaneous song-driven declaration: "This is how we do it!" Oh Montell Jordan, where art thou? (Stay there. I'm just saying, where are you?)
• I didn't like that all of a sudden everyone can sing, even the guy without thumbs. lol However, I did enjoy watching him eat a thumb-shaped cake, thumbs first. Nice.
• I didn't like that the bitchy golddigger Terry was starting to become...likable. She accepted his musical talents, applauded them, and didn't even mention the fact that it is totally obvious Emma is in love with him. I prefer it when she's saying things like, "If I don't get some sleep soon, I could miscarry." That seems more appropriate...for her. Especially since it causes Will to say things like, "We started doing it once a week. It was like she was trying to make a twin." lol
• I don't like that they made it seem like Kurt never came out of the closet. If he wasn't out of the closet, then the world must be his walk-in wardrobe. And it got even worse when they had Mercedes falling for him out of desperation. Really? Was it also out of stupidity? I prefer it when he's jelling with her like a lovely hag-fag duo, where he shares insightful mantras like, "Every moment is an opportunity for fashion." Oh and I'm not too surprised that Kurt is in love with Finn, but I feel bad his emotions won't be reciprocated.
• I love that the plan to break up the glee club is getting more elaborate. That choreographer was a little monster. I can't believe he told the handicapped kid Artie that he wasn't trying hard enough at walking. Say what? And his Napoleon-complex freakout was priceless: "What was that Frankenteen? Why don't you wipe that dopey look off your face and get some lotion for those knuckles you've been dragging on the ground. What's wrong with me is that you're freakishly tall. I feel like a woodland creature!" Mercedes squeezed in a little funny too, agreeing with Rachel's theory that unique glee clubs win out by saying, "They told J.Lo her booty was too big!" Hmm, sort of the same thing. lol What I didn't like is that Quinn seems to be growing a conscience. Quick, somebody kill it.
• I appreciate Josh Groban...grossing me out with his old-lady loving, but I don't want to see too many celeb cameos, because then people like Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian will jump on the bandwagon. Oh and I definitely don't want to see professional singers belting any tunes out. It's only enjoyable if the singer surprises you.
• Belle Biv DeVoe's "Poison": Awww, my favorite part of the song is the stutter-rap of the word "poison," and they totally cut it out. That makes it suck. lol
• Duffy's "Mercy": It was very well-choreographed, but kind of boring.
• Jazmine Sullivan's "I bust the windows out your car": Un-f*cking-believable. Not only did she sing it amazingly well, but she even had the dance moves down, and usually dance moves get lost in large people's curves and all you see is jiggle. No jiggle here, just smooth sensuality. Go 'head girl!
• Color Me Badd's "I want to sex you up": All I could think as I watched those boys was: Why are you so crazy? lol
1. I want Puck to seduce Rachel to make Finn jealous.
2. I want to see a love triange song where Rachel and Quinn fight over Finn.
3. I want a Madonna, Prince, Janet or Michael Jackson performance.