TV RECAP: "Glee" - Episode 3 - "Acafellas"

Alright, so "Glee" was on last Wednesday and I didn't review it. I LOVED it just like everyone else, but I didn't see the point of regurgitating what millions have been saying. However, I have to applaud the marketing team behind it, putting on a summer tour, making the songs available on iTunes, and releasing a soundtrack. Incredible!

So last week, we were treated to a truly boring rendition of Le Chic's "Freak Out!," a hilariously steamy performance of Salt n' Pepa's "Push It" (that I rewatched four times), the surprisingly well-choreographed cheerleader audition of Aretha Franklin's "Say a little prayer for you," and the incredibly beautiful solo of Rihanna's "Take a Bow" (that I rewatched three times). The dialogue is really funny too:
• Coach Sue Sylvester to Mr. Schuester: "You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy elderly mother...euthanize it!"
• "Secretly" gay student Kurt: "They're going to throw fruit at us, and I JUST had a facial."
• Kurt's opinion about Le Chic's song: "This song is gay."

This week, didn't have that great of a plot, but the performances still delivered. It was like we were being forced to take the good with the bad. For example:
• I didn't like that Mr. Scheuster started his own group, The Acafellas, but I did appreciate his spontaneous song-driven declaration: "This is how we do it!" Oh Montell Jordan, where art thou? (Stay there. I'm just saying, where are you?)
• I didn't like that all of a sudden everyone can sing, even the guy without thumbs. lol However, I did enjoy watching him eat a thumb-shaped cake, thumbs first. Nice.

• I didn't like that the bitchy golddigger Terry was starting to become...likable. She accepted his musical talents, applauded them, and didn't even mention the fact that it is totally obvious Emma is in love with him. I prefer it when she's saying things like, "If I don't get some sleep soon, I could miscarry." That seems more appropriate...for her. Especially since it causes Will to say things like, "We started doing it once a week. It was like she was trying to make a twin." lol
• I don't like that they made it seem like Kurt never came out of the closet. If he wasn't out of the closet, then the world must be his walk-in wardrobe. And it got even worse when they had Mercedes falling for him out of desperation. Really? Was it also out of stupidity? I prefer it when he's jelling with her like a lovely hag-fag duo, where he shares insightful mantras like, "Every moment is an opportunity for fashion." Oh and I'm not too surprised that Kurt is in love with Finn, but I feel bad his emotions won't be reciprocated.
• I love that the plan to break up the glee club is getting more elaborate. That choreographer was a little monster. I can't believe he told the handicapped kid Artie that he wasn't trying hard enough at walking. Say what? And his Napoleon-complex freakout was priceless: "What was that Frankenteen? Why don't you wipe that dopey look off your face and get some lotion for those knuckles you've been dragging on the ground. What's wrong with me is that you're freakishly tall. I feel like a woodland creature!" Mercedes squeezed in a little funny too, agreeing with Rachel's theory that unique glee clubs win out by saying, "They told J.Lo her booty was too big!" Hmm, sort of the same thing. lol What I didn't like is that Quinn seems to be growing a conscience. Quick, somebody kill it.
• I appreciate Josh Groban...grossing me out with his old-lady loving, but I don't want to see too many celeb cameos, because then people like Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian will jump on the bandwagon. Oh and I definitely don't want to see professional singers belting any tunes out. It's only enjoyable if the singer surprises you.

The performances:
• Belle Biv DeVoe's "Poison": Awww, my favorite part of the song is the stutter-rap of the word "poison," and they totally cut it out. That makes it suck. lol
• Duffy's "Mercy": It was very well-choreographed, but kind of boring.
• Jazmine Sullivan's "I bust the windows out your car": Un-f*cking-believable. Not only did she sing it amazingly well, but she even had the dance moves down, and usually dance moves get lost in large people's curves and all you see is jiggle. No jiggle here, just smooth sensuality. Go 'head girl!
• Color Me Badd's "I want to sex you up": All I could think as I watched those boys was: Why are you so crazy? lol

Future Wishes:
1. I want Puck to seduce Rachel to make Finn jealous.
2. I want to see a love triange song where Rachel and Quinn fight over Finn.
3. I want a Madonna, Prince, Janet or Michael Jackson performance.

MUSICAL: West Side Story Revival on Broadway

It's been almost two decades since West Side Story--arguably the most well-known musical in America besides Grease--has been on Broadway. But in March 2009, it shall return.

Arthur Laurents will direct it with the intention of giving it new life. Some reports are saying that there might actually be some Spanish words in the play and not just accents. Also, Laurent was quoted as saying that "Every member of both gangs was always a potential killer...Now they actually will be. Only Tony and Maria [will] try to live in a different world…" It'll make for an edgier and more authentic portrayal of this Romeo & Juliet story.

While Perez Hilton is shooting for Eden Espinosa (Wicked) to play Maria, I personally wouldn't mind America Ferrara in the lead.

Who do you want in the lead roles?
What other plays do you want revived? I wouldn't mind Guys and Dolls returning?
Which films would you want to be turned into Broadway plays?

FILM: "Wicked" Musical to Film & "9 to 5" Film on Broadway

Dolly Parton's 1980 slapstick work place comedy 9 to 5, where she starred alongside Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, will be turned into a Broadway play with new songs written by Parton in 2009. I'm not sure if Parton will be in the play, but Allison Janney (Hairspray and Juno) has been cast in Tomlin's role. Also, I bet Jessica Simpson would love to play Dolly's role for a few months.


Moving from Broadway to the theaters, however, is the musical Wicked, which is famous for its twisted take on The Wizard of Oz story. No word on whether the cast will remain the same, but I think the Tony Award winning Idina Menzel should keep the Wicked Witch of the West/Elphaba role.

Also in musical news, Mark Waters (Spiderwick Chronicles and Mean Girls) is directing Bob: The Musical, which is a potentially funny story about a guy who hates musicals only to wake up and discover that his life has become one. I don't know why, but I'm picturing Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) for this. I guess I just think he would emit the right amount of hatred for the genre.

TRAILER: High School Musical 3

The cast stage a spring musical to express how they feel about graduating and separating before they go to college. Looks pretty good:

FILM: Day-Lewis + Cruz + Cotillard + Kidman = Musical

Daniel Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose) and Nicole Kidman are teaming up for a musical called Nine. The director of Chicago, Rob Marshall, will adapt Federico Fellini and Ennio Flaiano's script.

The story is about a famous director, Guido Contini (Day-Lewis), who has trouble balancing out his professional and personal life as he attempts to complete his next film. His main obstacle is maintaining healthy relationships with all the women in his life: his wife (Cotillard), his mistress (Cruz), his muse (Kidman), his confidant and costume designer (Judi Dench), and his mother (Sophia Loren).

It's expected to be in theaters December 2009.

Update: Kate Hudson has just been added to the cast as another woman in Contini's life, an American fashion journalist. Fergie has also been cast.

THEATER: Addams Family hits Broadway

I just read that the Addams Family was being made into a Broadway musical and immediately I heard the theme song pop into my head.

They've already started casting and I'm pretty happy with their choices. Bebe Neuwirth (Lilith on "Frasier") will play Morticia, while Nathan Lane--practically a Broadway staple--might be cast as Gomez. Some people might not like the idea of an American playing a Spanish guy, but John Astin played him in the black-and-white TV version in the 60s, so I guess it's not that big of a deal. Although, it might be hard to cast Wednesday and Uncle Fester. Christina Ricci will always be Wednesday to me. Oh! and not to mention, Lurch! Actually Doug Jones, who plays Abe Sapien in Hellboy, is pretty scrawny and tall, and Brad Garrett's ("Till Death") got the voice.

I'm excited! I would totally watch that play. It'll be on Broadway in the 2009-2010 season.

TV: Camp Rock vs. High School Musical

Before Camp Rock premiered on Disney, critics were saying that it paled in comparison to High School Musical, quality-wise. Although the ratings (8.9 mil) proved that it didn't attract as many viewers as High School Musical 2 (17.2 mil), it wouldn't be fair to compare the two, since HSM already had a following. In fact, the first film only attracted 7.7 million viewers.

I think people were expecting higher numbers from Camp Rock because of the Jonas Brothers. But the fact that the favored brother, Nick, wasn't front and center probably has something to do with the results--not that Joe didn't do a suprisingly good job...for a singer. However, Nick and Kevin had maybe 10 minutes of screen time, which was probably best for Kev, who wasn't that great. The commercials were kind of deceptive, consistently implying that all three brothers would star in the film. Even the poster (shown above) implies that all three of them would have equal screen time and individual storylines.

Nonetheless, the deciding factor, for me, on which film was better has to do with the song production. I'm a fan of musicals--my favorite is Guys & Dolls--but I tend to like them more when the songs are better produced. Forgive me if I don't think songs like "Get'cha Head In The Game" or "Stick to the Status Quo" are anything to give a second listen to. Joe Jonas' "I Gotta Find You" and newcomer Demi Lovato's "This is Me," on the other hand, are the perfect mix of Disney and Z100, so parents don't get too annoyed with hearing it on repeat. Not to mention, Joe and Demi can both sing way better--Lovato especially--than anyone in High School Musical.

Don't get me wrong. I own the the first HSM on DVD and I too was/am a fan, but I give it credit more for its cult-appeal and star-making abilities than for its performances, songs, or acting. I will say though that it did have better dance choreography, which is ironic since Camp Rock has one of the best new dancers of this generation, Alyson Stoner, who most people credit Missy Elliott with discovering. Perhaps the fact that Stoner barely danced is a factor in why the film won't be as treasured as HSM. Like I said before, HSM has a certain vibe about it that makes viewers feel apart of the cast and invested in the relationships. It sucks you in and makes you wonder what's next. While I'm sure Disney can figure out where to go next with the characters of Camp Rock, is anyone really all that interested?

On a side note: Lovato and Selena Gomez (star of "Wizards of Waverly Place") are gearing up to be the next stars of Disney to take over Hannah Montana's throne (in what seems like Disney's campaign to add some more culture to its channel with Hispanic leads). While Lovato is set to star in her own series, "Sonny with a Chance," she will also be co-starring with Gomez in another Disney TV movie The Princess Protection Program this September, playing a princess who has to adapt to normal teenage life when her country is invaded by a dictator that she must escape. With the help of her new bff (Gomez) maybe she'll be able to fit in and win the heart of her crush (Robert Adamson of "Lincoln Heights"). Both ladies are interested in music careers and will probably be subjected to major Disney franchising. But before all that, Gomez has a head start at a film career, having just wrapped her first feature, Another Cinderella Story. This time the impoverished young girl will drop her iPod at a dance instead of her glass slipper (or cell phone like in Hilary Duff's Cinderella Story). Newcomer Andrew Seeley will play her prince--even though he's 10 years her senior in real life. (Yikes!)

TV: MTV's Scripted Series "American Mall"

With the help of the High School Musical producers, MTV will debut their new scripted musical series "American Mall." The show is a romantic dramedy set in a...mall. It follows two teenage musicians (Nina Dobrev from "Degrassi: The Next Generation" and newcomer Rob Mayes) who are struggling with both personal and professional issues. Also starring are Autumn Reeser ("The O.C."), Brooke Lyons (Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins), and Bianca Collins ("Unfabulous"). Watch the trailer:
Tune in--if you're interested--on August 11th.

FILM: Zach Efron & Miley Cyrus will "Step Up"

I love dance movies. Especially the most recent ones, like Step Up and Step Up 2 the Streets. And fortunately those two movies have made between $95-115 mil each worldwide. Naturally, Hollywood wants to capitalize off of its success by not only making another sequel in 3D, but making a fourth installment called Step Up 4 Your Rights to be released in 2010. Disney is so amped to sell this film to the masses that they've decided to stop casting newbies and go for more well-known faces like Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus.

Now, I find both High School Musical and "Hannah Montana" amusing, but neither one of their star actors can dance better than the leads in the first two Step Up films. Those overly choreographed moves they're used to aren't what the street dances of those films are about. It's also rumored that because of who they're gunning for to lead, there's a huge possibility that there will be musical numbers included. Musical numbers? Did they even watch the same movies I did? There aren't any musical numbers in the first two films. Half the people who saw Step Up don't even watch the Disney channel. In fact, they don't even HAVE the Disney channel. Why do you have to sully the reputation of Step Up? If you want to make a musical with Efron and Cyrus, then do it. They don't need the title to back them up. In fact, why don't you use them to remake Grease? Instead of England, Sandra D can be from Texas. And Jojo can be Rizzo, since she's the only one of the three of them that can actually sing. I mean, if you're going to ruin a franchise, why not go big?

FILM: Breakfast Club Remake + High School Musical 3

Apparently High School Musical isn't popular enough, since they've decided to allow Lindsay Lohan's little sister Ali audition for the part of a spoiled little princess in the third installment, where the teens start senior year. I guess this character would be giving Sharpay a run for her money and finally unite Gabriel and Sharpay against a common enemy. Wait a second, doesn't that mean she has to sing?

There are plans to update The Breakfast Club for our generation. The film, which will be called Bumped, will be written by Lizzy Weiss, who wrote Blue Crush and the "Dog Eat Dog"/dog-centered episode of "Cashmere Mafia." The story will follow five 20-somethings, "including a corporate go-getter, a musician and a flirt, who normally wouldn't be friends but who get to know one another when they're bumped from a flight and wind up stranded at Chicago's O'Hare Airport." It kind of reminds me of Unaccompanied Minors, where a bunch of kids from different cliques are stranded at the airport during a snow storm on Christmas Eve, so they decide to make the best of it. I think what will really make this reboot succeed is its cast. Since it's an airport, they should try to get a few international folks in it. I mean, a musician can be from anywhere, like Ireland (James McAvoy) or London (Hugh Dancy). People are already going to sell it short for its plot, so they might as well cast a couple big names.

FILM: Mamma Mia Trailer

If you like musicals and you like theatre-to-film adaptations, then you just might be interested in Mamma Mia. I walk by the theater all the time, but I had no idea what the story was about. The posters only show a girl wearing a wedding dress, so I thought it was something like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's actually about a girl, Sophie (Amanda Seyfried from Mean Girls), who wants to meet her father before she gets married. Since her mom (Meryl Streep) isn't exactly forthcoming with his identity, she sends invitations to three men (Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgard) so she can force the truth out. And that's when the fun begins. Release Date: July 18, 2008.

FILM: Zac Efron's getting "Footloose"

Apparently we may have set off the apocalypse by buying tickets for Dreamgirls and Chicago, watching High School Musical repeatedly, and pre-ordering tickets for Hairspray. Because of our overzealous enthusiasm, Zac Efron has been tapped to star in the remake of Footloose (1984). It was a teen drama where a city kid moves to the only town on the planet that bans rock music and dancing--you know, because it makes kids want to have sex. Kevin Bacon's character rebels against their crappy law, tries to seduce the preacher's daughter, and teaches a meathead how to dance in order to woo a girl. It's no Gone with the Wind, but at the time it was one of many 80s statements against a controlling system. So if you loved it as much as I did back then and you watch it everytime it comes on TBS, then brace yourself. Not only are they going to ruin the only film anyone remembers Bacon for, but they're going to make it a full-blown musical.

I'm not that invested in Efron's career--not as much as I was when he was much more low key and less flamboyant on "Summerland"--but really...how many musicals must you do before they formally induct you into gay society?

He should play a handicapped mute in his next film--no singing, no dancing. Then maybe he won't go down in history as that kid who did all those musicals. Who knows? Maybe after being on set with John Travolta, the original musical/music-driven film king (Grease, Saturday Night Fever, Staying Alive), he decided to emulate his career path. Which basically means that a couple decades from now he'll be right back where he started, except...without any balls.

FILM: The Goonies Musical...You read that right.

According to April 6th's Entertainment Weekly issue, Richard Donner, the director of The Goonies, plans on adapting the film for a musical. I LOVE adventure movies that involve people looking for treasure: Indiana Jones, The Mummy, National Treasure, etc. But The Goonies was different. It was more like an initiation for anyone who's ever felt like a misfit. And as much as I loved it, there's no way in hell I'd watch the musical. What could they possibly sing about? Will there be dancing...besides the Truffle Shuffle? The article said that it was an alternative to a sequel, because they couldn't hammer out a good enough script. But a musical is completely plausible. Morons.

FILM STRIP: Hairspray

I don't frequent Broadway much, but if I were to get rush tickets I'd probably try and see Tarzan. I also don't see many recent movie musicals. However, I did give Chicago and High School Musical a shot. Both had their moments of enjoyment, and the second does in fact merit a sequel, as rumors have indicated. However, one musical I've always wondered about, and never quite obsessed over, is Hairspray. As the trend proceeds, following in the tracks of Rent and The Producers, Hairspray will hit the big screen within the year.

Its most newsworthy tidbit is its star-studded cast. John Travolta is headlining, while Michelle Pfeiffer is rumored to have been cast. The last musical films I saw them in were by the same name: Grease and Grease 2. Let's hope Pfeiffer has a better set of pipes in her old age. The most recent musical alums, Queen Latifah (Chicago) and Zac Efron (High School Musical), were also added to the roster. Billy Crystal, who's familiar with song and dance numbers from his several hostings of the Oscars, is an understandable addition. Rowan Atkinson (or as some would like to refer to him, Mr. Bean) is bizarre and unusual and could probably hold a note or two. Brittany Snow, a girl who appears so sweet she'd give you a tooth ache, looks like she could shriek a couple octaves. But, the only farfetched candidate so far is Amanda Bynes, who may have sung a couple of off-key notes on her Nickolodeon shows, but has never quite made a name for herself with vocal skills.

This just might become the highest grossing box office musical of our generation.
--Monica