Thursday, December 31, 2009

TV Dictionary of 2009

The pop culture zeitgeist adds a lot of new words and phrases to our everyday vernacular. Here are a few from 2009 that I’ve deciphered for your future over-use:

Benjamin Button Syndrome
n. It's when a person looks much younger than they actually are, or are doing something that doesn't apply to their age. i.e. Teaching high school straight out of college.
Source: Dan's description of the new young female professor on "Gossip Girl."

Christan Bale-d
v. to spontaneously scream at someone for an unknown and irrational reason.
Source: "It was hard to understand anything he said after he Christian Bale-d on me," said Kat about Patrick on ABC Family's "10 Things I Hate About You"

n. A moment when someone hits you with an insult or a back-handed comment that you didn't expect them to make.
Source: When Bree implied that Orson wasn't a real doctor on "Desperate Housewives," he said, "That was a bit of a drive-by."

Easy Bake Oven
n. It's a euphemism for a slutty girl's va jay jay.
Source: Casey to a snobby rich girl on "The Unusuals": "They called your junk the easy bake oven."

Factory Girl
n. A music artist who was manufactured by a record company.
Source: Echo accuses a pop star she's guarding of being one in "Dollhouse."

Golf Guygest
n. a period of time when guys talk about golf.
Source: "Castle"

Internet Hotness Conversion Factor
n. It's the filter that people use when describing themselves on the Internet, which usually results in them being thinner and taller.
Source: The boys of the Buy More used this to justify Big Mike's exaggerated description on a dating website on "Chuck."

n. an acronym for "Lesbian Until Graduation."
Source: "Gossip Girl"

Madonna Whore
n. A girl who is too nice to have sex with--even after 10 dates.
Source: Marco's description of Megan on "Privileged"

The Mosby
n. Say "I love you" to someone far too early in a relationship.
Source: A description of a signature dumping move that was accidentally originated by Ted on "How I Met Your Mother."

Narco Traficante
n. A person who traffics drugs across borders. i.e. a drug mule
Source: Sock was spitballing theories as to why Ben had disappeared suddenly on "Reaper," and apparently he thought Ben being a drug mule was a plausible assumption.

"Read a magazine"
It's a euphemism for another euphemism: "to take a dump."
Source: Of course, "How I Met Your Mother" had to use a dying industry to describe excrement disposal.

Rush Crush
n. A person you're dying to initiate into your fraternity/sorority.
Source: "Greek"

Taste Sensation
n. The feeling that occurs after eating something that doesn't taste good, but isn't gross enough to throw up. Helpful when describing meals that are served during the holidays at the homes of your relatives.
Source: Kate Beckinsale on "Ellen"

v. Faking someone's death so that they can become more respected and famous.
Source: Jack said to Jenna on "30 Rock": "I want to Tupac you."

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