TV RECAP: "Gossip Girl": The Anniversary of Bart's Death & The Secret He Buried

While we were led to believe that this episode would revolve around Serena and her love…parallelogram, it turns out the writers were just using her as a catalyst for two much more scandalous and interesting subplots.

Lily's Big Secret
Maureen’s Stepford-wife devotion ultimately led to Lily’s secret getting out. Apparently, she spent a lot of time alone in a hotel room with Serena’s dad. But Lily seemed to think that after she explained herself to Rufus, all would be well. Of course, that was before Maureen gave Rufus the secret letter that mentions the alleged affair. Lucky for Rufus, he just happened to have recently befriended a beautiful African American socialite named Holland (Sherri Saum from "Sunset Beach" and "In Treatment"), who not only implied that some day Lily would cheat on him, but that when he found out, she was available for his revenge.

Okay, so Rufus didn’t exactly translate her sexual advance like I did, but he did perceive it as an open invitation to ask for advice whenever he needed it. I’m, however, still grateful for her presence because she brought up a very interesting point: Rufus doesn’t do anything except cater to Lily. Yes, it’s true her mom had cancer, Serena was AWOL, Eric and Jenny needed a reliable parental figure, and he’s unemployed, but why doesn’t he play music or give lessons or hang out with the long-lost son he spent so much time whining about? Granted, most viewers don’t care about the parents, but the writers could at least fill in some plot holes concerning them…unless of course they plan on turning Rufus into a Stepford husband. What I wouldn’t give to see Rufus in Chuck-form—that would be quite a transformation.

Serena = Monica Lewinksy
After Maureen took control of her marriage again and convinced Tripp that he could have his cake and eat it too, she had the audacity to propose what she referred to as a time-honored political tradition to Serena. She wanted to remain Tripp’s wife and allow Serena to be his tawdry mistress. (It made me wonder if maybe all politicians’ wives were just pretending they had no idea for the cameras...and the book deal.) Serena—thank god—was appalled and offended, but somehow skeptical. She really thought Tripp would never propose such a thing. You know, because politicians are usually just so reliable and trustworthy—not to mention, monogamous. I guess I could understand why politicians cheat though. They must feel so helpless when they never getting anything done, and so castrated by their overbearing wives, so they find comfort in laying down with a woman that worships them and makes them feel powerful again (even if it's for a price). Too bad Tripp has sentenced himself to 50 more years with a controlling and frigid opportunist. I mean, he has so little confidence in himself that when he crashed the car and realized he’d have to explain to the police (and the press) why a bleeding and unconscious Serena was being driven back from his secluded cottage, he immediately called his wife for help. Whipped! He’s like her little puppet. Per her orders, he moved Serena into the driver’s seat, called an ambulance, and abandoned her. Prince freaking Charming ladies and gentleman.

The Anniversary of Bart's Death
None of this was important. The fact that Nate punched Tripp, and threatened to tell the police if he ever came near Serena again meant nothing. What was important was that Serena almost died in a car accident on the anniversary of Bart dying in a car accident! The only two people who remembered the significant day, unfortunately, were Chuck and Blair. After spending most of it being berated into buying a homeless shelter by his father’s ghost and pushing Blair and Lily away, he finally snapped out of his drunken melancholy when he got the call about Serena. I pretty much predicted that he wouldn’t make it to her room and that he’d collapse on the floor, so I was glad to have been pleasantly surprised by the flashbacks of never-before-seen scenes of the night Bart died. The writers sort of skipped over his death and moved right on to Chuck’s month-long binge, but now we got to see what broke him: not being able to say goodbye to his dad while he was on life-support. Ed Westwick did a fantastic job with this scene.

The Hunt for Mommy Bass
This all led up to a show-stopping revelation: Chuck’s mom isn’t dead! I think once Lily said Bart refused to tell Chuck where his mother’s grave was, it was pretty obvious there wasn’t one. He discovered her bringing yellow roses, which according to Chuck, was her favorite, to Bart’s grave. My mom kept yelling for Chuck to chase after her into the foggy cemetery, but that’s what next year’s for: the hunt for Mommy Bass. While I’m super psyched to have my suspicions confirmed, what really peaked my interest was the locket. Why would she leave if she loved him? Why would she carry around a locket with Bart’s picture? Did he banish her? Did she need to go into hiding? My worst-case scenario theory is that she betrayed him. Chuck isn’t his son (maybe he's that attempted rapist Jack's) and as revenge, he banished her and took Chuck, which would explain the emotional abuse. Because really, why else would she be in hiding? Mob connections? What do you guys think?

In the New Year
Aside from that bombshell, we have two other lovely subplots to look forward to in the New Year:
1) Dan finally told Vanessa he loves her. She may have chalked it up to the strain of Serena’s near-death experience, but since when does your ex-girlfriend almost dying make you profess your love for your best friend? Lol um, no.
2) It turns out while Eric and Jenny may have agreed on a truce, she’s not out of trouble just yet. Apparently, the new Queen B of the Upper East Side has a part-time job…as a drug-dealer. That sounds like a major sweeps or season finale cliffhanger for sure.