Finally! Jenny's back! The real Jenny. The Jenny with self-respect. The Jenny who defends her friends and is proud to be who she is. Too bad this resurgence didn't come before she completely humiliated Vanessa with a lining-less dress that became sheer in the spotlight, ironically moments after V performed an emotional big reveal for Nate. She admitted to stealing the letter he sent Lil J, which confessed his undying love. Unfortunately, Jenny's public betrayal threw him back into V's arms. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard him say that as she was walking away, he realized that she's the one he wanted to be with. You mean, as she walked into the spotlight and you saw all of her nakey parts? Hmm. Way to be decisive Nate! I, personally, became hooked on V the second she said "Bye, sad wannabe-Blair," to the skank who coerced Lil J into humiliating her. By the way, the dress she made for the skank was hideous.
Now for the real fun. Where to begin? Let's start off slow.
Serena + Aaron + Dan + new girl Lexie = awkward sex talk
No, Serena didn't give Aaron the "birds and the bees" speech. (Although, I'm sure she could teach him a few things.) Aaron's Dan-equivalent, a saucy ex-girlfriend, came to town to poke at Serena's insecurities, referring to Aaron's portraits of S as images that make her want to "shop at the Gap" and "validate [her] self-image with overpriced cosmetics." I'd call her catty, but let's be honest, she's just a bitch. However, her ability to get under Aaron's skin and make him seem insecure and uncomfortable was a nice change of pace from his usual tortured-artist-with-an-indiscernible-cause demeanor. I mean, at least Dan has a reason to brood. What's Aaron's excuse? His off-kilter haircut?
Lexie's affect on Serena wasn't what you'd expect though. S became less jealous of her relationship with Aaron and a little more obsessive over her future relationship with Dan. I loved it when she said, "It's a little When Harry Met Crazy." Score one for S. But, she had every right to be concerned--her childhood stalker was being offered first-date sex. Aaron, of course, defended Lexie, explaining that she "claims it's a political statement against male-dominated sexual hypocrisy." We all know she's just a ho, but S had the right mind to simply ask, "Why can't she just vote?" The awkwardness officially hit a high-note when Dan and S finally had "the talk." Apparently, she was hoping that all that stuff he said about how he doesn't have sex, he makes love, and how important it is to only be with someone you really really really care about was just a load of sleep-with-me-now bullshit. I (and you) knew it wasn't, but S needed reassurance, so he had to actually say out loud that it was the greatest night of his life, basically implying that he wasn't going to roll around in the hay with Lexie, despite the fact that S planned on sleeping with Aaron too. We'll never know for sure though cause Lily dramatically interrupted as she was searching for Chuck, because his father was in--drum roll, please--an accident. And the Oscar goes to...the UES mother-of-two who's in love with a former rock star and was about to divorce her malicious soon-to-be-dead husband. Please, preemptively thank your therapist Lily. He'll be busy for the next few weeks.
And now for the pies de resistance (which oddly translates to "resistant feet" in Spanish)...Chuck and Blair hooked up their doppelgangers. What a mating ritual? These two are such a guilty pleasure. Their cat-and-mouse game could have me hooked for months, maybe even years. It's definitely better than some relationships on TV (i.e. Clark and Lana, gag me). It all started with Blair making a comprehensive, typed-out list of potential dates to the Senior Snowflake Ball (um, this better not be a prom replacement), and Chuck taking it upon himself to inject his opinion into the decision-making process. Intrigued by his interest, she gave into his proposal (not that kind) that they choose each other's dates. If Blair proves she knows him best--well enough to select the perfect date--she gets to keep his limo for a month (of course, she didn't specify if he could be in it) and if he wins, he gets to have that Russian minx Derrota for a month. After laying down his terms, he whispered to her, "I take my breakfast in bed," to which she responded with a terrified eye-pop, later exclaiming that she didn't want to shine his shoes. B hilariously quipped, "Yeah, his shoes if you're lucky." That's pretty much the point where I realized that B was whoring her maid out. I wouldn't do that if I were her. Derrota is awesome, which was made evident by her cute defense that the list she compiled of potential dates for him was derived from "Facebook...I joined a few groups."
Unfortunately, they were unsuccessful in finding the perfect girl for him, especially since B kept describing herself and demanding someone who wasn't "pre-picked," as in de-virginated. Luckily for her, he couldn't find anyone either, so they both resorted to bringing younger versions of themselves. B's clone barely talked, but Chuck's managed to master his rhythm of speaking, making him freakishly mesmerizing to watch. I liked B's nickname for him: Beta Bass. When they caught the Betas kissing, Blair exclaimed, "This is the worst out-of-body experience ever." What was the best? There's so many things we've yet to learn of this evil duo. Last night, we learned that Chuck knows how to play the piano and Blair is genuinely concerned by the fact that everybody else can have a normal relationship except them. Chuck, however, doesn't seem concerned. He loves how unique their love is--as do we.
It's a whole lot more interesting than Lily and Rufus' screwed up relationship. I thought it was very mature of Chuck to tell Lily that he always liked her and that she owed his dad a chance to be forgiven (especially after she danced with Rufus to a song with the lyrics "We fit so perfectly"). Instead of blackmailing her and verbally abusing her, Chuck took the high rode. Too bad his dad died. That little stint of maturity is soooo over and Lily's about to be sentenced for her "betrayal." That is, after all, how the Bass's grieve--by punishing everyone they love. Just when you think GG can't get any better, they preview a hair-mussed, vengeance-seeking, blackmailing Chuck wreaking havoc in next week's episode. I wonder how much B will love him after that.