TRAILER: In the Loop - Gandolfini, Coogan, & Chlumsky

I love quirky indies, especially when they're European and they mock social behavior and politics. While the inclusion of James Gandolfini and Steve Coogan means there's major star power, the amazing surprise casting is actually Anna Chlumsky...as in My Girl! Here's hoping for a phenomenal resurrection of a beautiful girl with spunk!

ALBUM REVIEW: Gavin DeGraw's "Free"

It's been a year since Gavin DeGraw released an album. His latest, Free, is very stripped-down, live-like with mellow beats and romanticized lyrics. It's as if he made a deal with the record companies that he'd do a commercial album (the self-titled Gavin DeGraw) for them and the fans, and then one for himself, which is maybe something Kelly Clarkson should consider if she should ever feel unfulfilled again.

Of the nine tracks on the album, I swayed to "Lover Be Strong," "Waterfall," and "Why do the men stray? (Why do the women pray?)."

"Waterfall" had a part where he repeatedly said the words "You're beautiful," which was nice to hear. lol But the best lyrics had to be from the last song. I loved the parts where he said: "More lies are told until they're true," and "Old men get all their killing done with youth." Pure poetry.

Sample it on Amazon.com.

TV Topic: "Gossip Girl": Jenny's Sweet 16, Vanessa & Chuck Hookup, and the other Humphrey Son

It's not very often that some bizarre happening on this series pulls me back into reality long enough to say, "Am I in the Twilight Zone?," but last night there were several.

For starters, the "love" rectangle that involved Nate, Blair, Vanessa, and Chuck. The fates of these four rested on the weak shoulders of the indecisive and unreliable Nate. He basically told Blair that since V had walked out on him at his family reunion and they hadn't spoken in a week, he was going to talk to her, and if they break up, he and Blair can be together. Translation: If I see her and feel like dumping her tonight, you can fill her slot. If that wasn't completely insane enough, B was totally game for it. She was slightly disappointed, pushy, and obnoxious, but game. Meanwhile, V continued her journey down the Upper East Side rabbit hole by not only kissing Chuck in front of them, but then secretly having sex with him...TWICE! Wasn't she utterly repulsed by him before? What? Is it a natural transition to be sexually dissatisfied by Nate and then reinvigorated by Chuck? lol

Bizarro moment number two came right around the time Jenny opted out of having a huge Sweet 16 with the who's-who's of Manhattan society for chili and board games instead. I didn't think it was a lame idea. I mean, you do have the rest of your teen-less life to not share your bday with your family. And it made perfect sense with her new outlook on life. What was strange was Serena's sudden sense of entitlement fueled by Poppy Lifton's return. She told Serena that a "girl like her" has better things to do than make-up-and-break-up with her high school boyfriend and feud with her frenemy. Hmm, I guess that's reserved for us average folks. Poppy's idea of good living is flying on rich men's jets to exotic locales and shopping till it's dark enough to party all night long. Lucky for her, that was old Serena's idea of fun too, and with just a little nudge from her mother's judgmental lectures, that old Serena can easily be reawakened. S had the audacity to pretend like it wasn't her fault that Jenny felt the need to turn her "sophisticated" soirée into a rager. Little J specifically stated that she didn't want a stranger-filled party. If you didn't invite all of your friends, then she wouldn't have had to get even with you. Grow up S. She's only 16.

Both Chuck and Blair have had their wild phases this season, you'd think she'd learn from their mistakes. But I guess everyone's tired of working so hard to be who people expect them to be. First Jenny got tired of trying to fit in. Then Chuck got tired of being daddy's little boy. Blair got tired of being the Queen B. Nate got tired of not having a plan for his future. V got tired of...fighting off Chuck's advances. lol And now Serena's tired of pretending she isn't naturally irresponsible. Off to Espana she goes...to get married?

The major bomb that dropped last night didn't even get more than two minutes of air time. No, not Nate and Blair's lakeside makeout session. It turns out Dan's illegitimate brother knows his true identity and plans on infiltrating the Humphrey clan by sucking up to Dan and praising his writing. The question is: Will his adoptive parents' attempt to deter him by deleting Dan's phone call work, or will he be determined enough to jump on a train/bus and pay his "idol" a visit?

Can't wait for the drama!!!

Side note: I love the part when Chuck and Dan had their usual exchange of quips over a quick breakfast, like when Dan said: "It would almost be scary if it wasn't wearing plaid." Aww, they're brothers. I hope when the shit hits the fan, Dan turns to Chuck for words of wisdom...or sarcasm. Either's fine with me.

FILM REVIEW: I Love You, Man

If you watch this bromantic comedy, you'll see the similarities that Paul Rudd and Jason Segel's relationship have with non-platonic relationships in romantic comedies. Check them out:

• The Meet Cute: In most rom-coms, the leads always meet in some convenient way. In The Wedding Planner, Mathew McConaughey saves Jennifer Lopez from a rogue garbage tank that's hurtling towards her as she tries to pull her Gucci shoe out of a sewer grate. The meet cute can also be super simple, like when Parker Posey meets her French beau at a friend's party in Broken English. In this bromantic film, Rudd and Segel meet at a realty open house. Segel impresses him with the ability to spot a douche who's pretending he wants to buy the huge mansion in order to impress some hot blonde. Rudd is truly amused by him and they exchange business cards.

• The First Call: The best nervous attempt at calling someone after meeting them the night before, or simply hours before, has to be from He's Just Not That Into You. Ginnifer Goodwin plays a girl who arguably loses her mind during a 60-second voicemail message. It was epic. Rudd was also super nervous about calling Segel after they first met. He practiced and paced around his cubicle. And when he finally left a message, it was tragically humiliating, topped off with a horrendous attempt at a cool sign-off.

• All-night chat sessions: The best rom-coms involve couples actually having conversations instead of simply falling in love with smiles and pratfalls. Truth About Cats and Dogs has by far the longest dialogue between future lovers that I've seen, but HJNTIY has the most revealing. Rudd and Segel's first man-date involved tacos, beer, and several hours of drunken conversation.

• Long walks on the beach: Alright, so this is more of a turn-on that centerfolds were famous for mentioning, but it can be used to set the scene for romanticism, like in Monster-in-Law. These boys spent most of their time hanging out on the boardwalk near the beach, with the sunset as a backdrop.

• Picking their song: Couples usually have their signature song. Whether it's the first one they danced to, the one that was playing in the bar/nightclub they met at, or the one that defines their relationship. Such a topic usually pops up during wedding planning, and it can even be disputed at times. But there was no doubt that these gents had an entire soundtrack, which was provided by the Canadian rock band Rush. They reenacted a lot of the songs for fun in their man cave (the shed behind Segel's house), and even performed the songs at the wedding reception.

• Marathon phone conversations: This is not the same as all-night chat sessions. These are the pointless conversations and texts that involve recapping the evening's events for no purpose whatsoever. Rudd's wife-to-be was particularly perturbed that Segel felt the need to do that on the one day of the week that was specifically scheduled for her.

• Changing for the better: Most rom-coms involve a woman changing a man into what she wants or a man changing himself into what he thinks the woman of his dreams wants. Rarely does the girl do the changing, but when she does, it's a head-to-toe makeover a la She's All That. These boys helped each other grow. Segel helped Rudd get in touch with his inner manly man, and Rudd helped Segel connect to people on a deeper level.

• Romantic Montages: I kind of have a love-hate relationship with romantic montages. It's good, because there's proof that they fell in love over time, but it sucks because they're skipping right through it. Their bromance was highlighted by their mid-afternoon jam sessions and Rudd riding on the back of Segel's moped through the city.

• Meeting the Parents...and Humiliating Yourself: Meet the Parents isn't really a rom-com. If anything, it's a buddy film between Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro. But that entire film is what every significant other dreads before getting the a-o-k from the 'rents. Monster-in-Law, of course, was the worst-case scenario. Jane Fonda's character almost killed J.Lo's with a major allergic reaction the day before her wedding. Segel's parental meltdown wasn't as dramatic, but it was in fact unbelievably humiliating...for Rudd. When he met his parents at the rehearsal dinner, he had the audacity to make a toast to the happy couple with a side note about how Rudd's fiancee should give him sexual favors if she really loves him.

• The Jealous Ex: Running into an ex-lover while you're on a date is never not awkward. You don't know if you should introduce them or pretend like you don't even see them. And there's always a chance that they'd be willing to duke it out with your present beau, like Hugh Grant did with Colin Firth in Bridget Jones' Diary, in order to win you back, albeit unsuccessfully. Thomas Lennon ("Reno 911" and 17 Again) plays a gay guy Rudd's mom accidentally sets him up with for a man-date. Rudd eventually explains that he's not gay, but Lennon gets extremely offended when he catches him shopping for a tux with Segel. He assumes that the two of them are getting married and some of the funniest scenes are derived from that jealousy. One word: "Whore!"

• Dramatic Proposal: Most of the time male leads never specifically ask their female lead to marry them. It's usually implied when they tell them that they love them and then they cut to the wedding scene or a happily ever after, like in Enchanted, 27 Dresses, 13 Going on 30, and Maid of Honor. These boys had their own moment of romantic declaration when Rudd asks Segel to be his best man in front of a glamorous fountain.

• Lovers Spat: In the middle of every rom-com is a major argument that can stand to destroy any chance of the love birds ever getting together. Most of the time it's trust-related, like in Wedding Date when Dermot Mulroney doesn't tell Debra Messing that her ex is sleeping with her sister, or when Isla Fisher fails to tell Hugh Dancy that's she's majorly in debt in Confessions of a Shopaholic. Their climatic argument involved Segel accusing Rudd of just using him to be his best man, and Rudd accusing Segel of using him because he's lonely.

• Declaration of Love: Much like the proposal, these are usually grand gestures, but they happen more often. They have to be grand in order to negate all of the animosity developed during the argument. If Drew Barrymore didn't write that touching article in Never Been Kissed, Michael Vartan wouldn't have finally told her how he felt, and if Heath Ledger didn't make an ass out of himself on the bleachers to win over Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You, he never would've melted the ice around her cold heart. These gents had the audacity to not only say "I love you" to each other at the altar with Rashida standing beside them, but repeated it more than once in succession.

You could argue that this is one of the best bromantic, rom-com spoofs yet to be written, but that's probably only because there are hardly that many in its rare genre. So if you want to see two guys fall in love (sort of), watch I Love You, Man.

TV Topic: "Grey's Anatomy": Derek's Proposal & Owen's Breakdown

1) I realize it's probably been done to death on other shows, but I wish they would've shown Derek looking for the ring he threw into the woods. It could've been dramatic and they just skipped it. There was a rumor that there would be three proposals. The first was at the breakfast table, where he basically just placed the ring in front of her with a somber look on his face. Sooo romantic. NOT! The second was right before Izzie's surgery, where he basically demands a confirmation so he could operate with confidence. No way, no how! The third, in the words of Goldilocks, was juuuuussssst right. He recounted their love story using x-rays of every patient they had together that marked an important moment in their relationship: their first surgery, the first time they were caught doing it, the first time he knew she would be an incredible surgeon, the first survivor of their clinical trial, etc. With a clean-shaven face, he told her that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the woman who gave him strength...and she agreed.

2) Who was Owen choking? Yeah, I know it was Christina, but who did he think he was choking. The nightmare he had that led to him choking Christina was triggered by the ceiling fan, which resembles a helicopter (if you're crazy). So in what scenario do you go from a helicopter to choking someone? Was it an enemy or a fellow soldier? This has potential scandal written all over it. While I hope it was your run-of-the-mill, life-and-death situation, I'd prefer a better excuse for why he almost destroyed a budding relationship.

3) I appreciate that they treated Alex's decision to fertilize Izzie's harvested eggs with the proper weight. It's the logical thing to do, but it's also a huge step in a relationship.

4) I'm glad they gave George some screen time, but Callie's residual guilt for wanting Izzie dead when he cheated on her was ridiculous. Really? That's all you got?

TV RECAP: "Dollhouse": Alpha's Identity? & Dolls Regaining Memory

I think Echo's slash Caroline's former boyfriend is Alpha. They seem to have a super strong bond, and we've already seen, via Victor and Sierra's connection, that love can cause the dolls to go against protocol. Plus, in a spoiler I read earlier this month, I found out that we will be informally introduced to Alpha before we are formally introduced to him.

During last night's episode, Topher was trying to describe how unhelpful and annoying his boss was being, and she genuinely--and without skipping a beat--offered: "Sarcastic? Unfeeling? British?" I thought it was hilarious, until I realized it was a by-product of the drug that was infecting everyone. That seemed terrifying until I realized that because it didn't affect dolls the same way, it would help viewers determine if there were any more secret dolls around. We now know for a fact that Boyd, Ms. Dewitt, Topher and Agent Dominic aren't dolls. Damn! I wish the doc would've been there. I totally suspect her of being one. Or of at least being a traitor.

We also learned that the dolls are only recruited for 5 years, so it isn't entirely true that their memories are wiped out. I thought that it was going to be revealed that their memories were downloaded and saved somewhere, but since Echo can recall things, it's obvious that her memories are just placed on a backburner.

Can't wait till next week when all of the dolls (or most of them) revolt. It's about to get (more) interesting!

TV: Cast of CW's "Vampire Diaries"

The core cast of the CW's Twilight-clone "Vampire Diaries" has been chosen. Bulgarian actress Nina Dobrev (MTV's The American Mall and "Degrassi: The Next Generation") will be caught in between two vampire brothers played by Ian Somerhalder ("Lost") and Paul Wesley (ABC Family's "Fallen" and "Everwood"). Somerhalder will be the "Chuck" of the series, evil with the ability to be good, and Wesley will be the 200-year-old version of the quintessential boy-next-door. To make matters worse, the brothers already had a long-standing rivalry prior to meeting this new girl, since they were involved in a different love triangle during the Renaissance.

Is it just me or are these guys kind of old to be in a teen soapdrama? Either way, the CW is hoping avid Twilight lovers will perceive Wesley as the next brooding Robert Pattinson. There was no forewarning as to how majorly loved Pattinson would eventually be, so it's not as if it isn't possible.


Also cast were Kayla Ewell ("The Bold and the Beautiful") and the super hot up-and-comer Zach Roerig (Cash on "Friday Night Lights").

TV REVIEW: ABC's "In the Motherhood"

I was originally bummed that when ABC chose to bring "In the Motherhood" to television that they also chose to cast different actresses. (Chelsea Handler, Leah Remini, Eileen Galindo, and Jenny McCarthy were the original stars of the web series.) It wasn't that I wasn't confident that Cheryl Hines ("Curb Your Enthusiasm"), Megan Mullally ("Will & Grace"), and Jessica St. Clair ("Worst Week") would deliver the funny, but that it didn't bode well that the series needed a complete cast revamp. Who knows? Maybe those ladies were too pricey per episode. Either way, I gave it a shot.

The promos have given you the impression that these are unorthodox mother figures and that impression was most certainly correct. Perhaps if their backgrounds were better fleshed-out I could do a better job of laying these character descriptions down, but there wasn't much to go on, so here goes.

Hines plays Jane, a single mom with a baby girl, who's juggling her full-time job and getting back into the dating game. I probably missed whether she was divorced or a widow, but since she wasn't overly depressed, I'm guessing she was jilted. Mullally plays Rosemary, who if I'm not mistaken had her kid a very long time ago, while she was in the Peace Corps, is in her fifties, but still acts like a leather-wearing wild child. St. Clair plays Jane's younger sister Emily, that mom that everyone hates. You know, the one who has the perfectly-behaved, quiet children, a clean home, free time to excercise, an understanding husband (RonReaco Lee from "Worst Week"), a healthy sex life, and...morals. Horatio Sanz ("SNL") is Hines' manny and possibly Rosemary's boyfriend/lover/husband/partner-in-crime when it comes to goofing off all day and having weird role-play sex (i.e. Santa Claus suit and fake pregnant lady).

While their one-liners are pretty funny, like when Emily whined that her husband should've pushed their daughter on the floor so she woundn't miss her first steps, and scenarios, like unintentionally ruining Christmas for your kids, is pretty hilarious, the major question is always: How long can they keep these shennanigans up?

Rachael Harris, who plays Hines' boss, used to be on another baby-centric ABC comedy called "Notes from the Underbelly." I thought it was hilarious and I'm not even in the pregnancy stage of my life, but I guess the idea of a baby-centric plot every week for half the year got tedious. So, how long before people stop caring about the plight of the every-mom?

After a 2nd Viewing: I discovered that Horatio doesn't play Mullally's boyfriend, and Hines has another daughter and she's divorced. Still no word on whether it has staying-power.

TV REVIEW: ABC's "Better Off Ted"

Office-place comedies are usually knee-deep in quirk and relatable moments that have you thinking, "Oh my god, exactly! I can't believe other people think this way too." It's the equivalent of bitching at the water cooler for 20 mintues and relieving the stress that's piling up on your shoulders.

This office-place comedy is about a guy named Ted whose basic job is to make the impossible happen. He works at a company that essentially invents things, and if his boss, the tight ass Veronica (Portia de Rossi from "Arrested Development"), asks him to genetically engineer beef, then his response has to be positive.

I guess people who are known for being yes-men would understand that relationship. There are also some who could relate to the idea of having a boss who asks for the impossible nearly every single time they see them. There might even be people who relate to Linda (Andrea Anders from "The Class" and "Joey") who resorts to stealing creamer in order to make up for how much she hates her life-sucking job. Heck, there are probably even co-workers tweeting each other mid-episode about how much their relationship resembles Lem (Jay Harrington from "Private Practice") and Phil's (Jonathan Slavin), the quintessential example of a work marriage.

But the fact is: none of these characters are that funny. Linda's pretty funny, Veronica drags a few dry laughs out of you, and even Ted can make you crack a smile. But there's something so rigid about the series that it has you waiting on the edge of your seat for that big laugh you hope is coming...but secretly know isn't.

Update: The third episode was actually funnier. But we'll see...

TV REVIEW: ABC Family's "Sophie"

So we're first introduced to the title character (Canadian newcomer Natalie Brown), the young owner of an acting agency, when she goes to a witch doctor while 8 months pregnant. He tells her that this year is going to suck majorly, and within a few days she gets dumped for her bff Melissa, a hot blonde actress (Amy Ciupak Lalonde) who used to be her client, her ex Rick (Sebastian Spence) steals all of her clients, her receptionist bails on her, her water breaks near her father's grave when she's cellphone-less, and she gives birth to a black baby. Did I mention that not only is she white, but so is the supposed father of the baby. Now either she cheated and lied about it or she's having a worse year than I thought.

Shows like these are supposed to be built on the appeal of the ensemble cast, like "Friends": a collection of characters who keep you interested and intrigued. While Sophie is funny and relatable, her uber helpful, gay bff Matt (Jeff Geddis) seems as bored as I am with him, and the only client (Sara Botsford) she has left, who adopted a smart ass Asian preteen (Chantelle Chung) seems like an overdone version of Grandma Tabitha on "90210" and even Grandma Martha on "Castle." We're supposed to get hooked on Sophie's life from the very beginning, but I actually have no interest in learning how she plans on juggling unexpected motherhood and an agency she didn't ask to inherit in a failing economy.

The only thing that could save the series is an amazingly hot love interest...and even that wouldn't keep many people tuned in. Considering that this series was originally filmed in 2007, I'm guessing ABC Family new it wouldn't be a hit either. They probably released it now in hopes of profiting from the major love it's getting for "Secret Life of an American Teenager." The fact is people only love that show because it's so awesomely bad...and there isn't anything awesome about this show.

TV REVIEW: ABC Family's "Roommates"

This young adult comedy series is about a guy named Mark (Tyler Francavilla) who plots to move in with his high school crush Katie (Dorian Brown) and her two roommates James (Tommy Dewey) and Hope (Tamera Mowry--yeah the twin). With encouragement from his zany BFF and former roommate Thom (David Weidoff), Mark gets the courage to begin what he believes to be a beautiful relationship. We, however, are fully aware that he looks to be stuck in the friend zone.

When Mark isn't stalking his high school crush, he's temping, while he waits for his big break. The Mr. Bean lookalike is actually an aspiring actor. Katie...well, I don't know what Katie does, but I do know she's kind of dense...and desperate. When a guy tried to break up with her, she refused to let him go and continued to bribe him with sex. Why is it that adorable sweet guys always obsess over girls who aren't worth the time or the effort? There to help her through all of her romantic entanglements is Hope. Mowry plays a sassy know-it-all (can you say stereotype?) who got fired from her top-paying TV job and now reluctantly and ineffectively serves coffee at a nearby cafe. The problem is she never told her roommates that she was fired. While I'm not quite sure how she can still afford the rent, the real reason they introduced that little tidbit is because Mark, who first meets her when she incorrectly serves him coffee when he asks for tea, is the only one who knows her secret. Meanwhile, James, a bonafide man-whore with dry humor, is the only one who has figured out that Mark has a major crush on Katie. They should've called it Secretive Roommates.

While the episode was pretty funny, it's nothing to gather your friends around the tube for. Maybe ABC Family should stick to hour-long shows. They seem to do those better.

TV Topic: "The Office": Idris Elba's Reign of Terror & Ryan's Return

Alright, I was totally on board for last year's addition of "The Wire" alum Amy Ryan as Holly. She was funny, cute, unbelievably normal (compared to everyone else on the show), and potentially the love of Michael's life. But then they added another alum from the drama series, Idris Elba. I really didn't see how he would mesh with the rest of the cast...and I was right to be apprehensive. It's not just that he's not funny. I don't even think he's supposed to be. His lines definitely aren't. If anything, he's just scary. When Michael challenged him and he didn't back down, I was genuinely terrified for his well-being. I mean, he even intimidates Jim. Not only are they the same height, but Jim once dared to go up against Pam's ex, the tubby, lumberjack-looking, psycho Roy. He totally shouldn't be afraid him, but I totally understand why he is. Elba's character, Charles Miner, just doesn't fit. I feel like he went in to audition for "Lost" and somehow ended up on "The Office."

Alas, his actions have inspired a fortuitous event. While I am bummed that Michael has quit Dunder Mifflin with the naive endeavor to start his own company titled...drum roll...Michael Scott's Paper Company, I did not think of all of the amazingly laughable moments that could erupt from such an idea:

1) Pam, having given up her graphic design dream, has decided that she doesn't want to be a receptionist anymore. After spending more than four hours mastering the copy machine, a task that could've driven even the nicest person insane, she decided she wants to be a salesman.

2) Ryan--a newly blonde Ryan!!!--just might join him, since he now works at a bowling alley and has clearly hit rock bottom. (Um, no offense to all those hard-working alley employees.)

3) Since Holly is rumored to be returning by the end of the season, maybe--just maybe--she'll join him too. And then he'll have his super team: the salesman (Pam), his right hand man (Ryan), and his HR person (Holly). Then all he'll need--besides customers, a building, and money--is an assistant. Eureka! Kelly will totally debase herself if only to spend every waking moment by Ryan's side.

In the words of the adorably maniacal hamster from Bolt, "Let it begin! Let it begin!"

TV Review: "Rockville, CA"

I watched the first six webisodes (less than 10 minutes long each) and they weren't half bad. The series, created by the legendary (to "O.C." lovers) Josh Schwartz, is set in a bar where various characters interact, from music lovers to band scouters to just plain drunk chicks. The real draw of the series, however, was said to be the real-life bands that would play in the background and get heavily name-dropped. "The O.C." was known for setting the standard in new music. It single-handedly launched Rooney into stardom, gave Death Cab for Cutie a reason to live, and made Phantom Planet's "California" a classic. So it's safe to say that this web series will deliver musically, but I wouldn't place a bet on it blowing any minds narrative-wise. While it's a little intriguing to see the budding relationship between Hunter and Deb, despite her obsession with Syd and his obsession with Callie, it's sort of jarring to get three 6-7 minutes of semi-romantic interaction and then have to wait till next week for more. It's like watching a soap opera where nothing is really happening over a long period of time. I applaud Schwartz for wanting to give these bands a venue to flaunt their stuff, but I feel like he's spreading himself too thin. I mean, he's working on NBC's "Chuck" and The CW's "Gossip Girl," all while developing a "GG" spinoff set in the 80s. This certainly isn't some of his best work. But at least it's a good place for young actors to showcase their talent after their series gets canned, i.e. Ryan Hansen ("Veronica Mars") and Natalie Morales ("Middleman")--a sort of spring-board to bigger and better/televised things.

"Solo Act" (Episode 1): After watching this I thought "This will be the first series that teenagers actually stay to 'watch' the credits," since each webisode's killer band plays them out of the scene.
Band: Newcomer Nico Stai

"The Douche" (Ep. 2): We are unnecessarily introduced to the douchery that has encompassed Hansen's career.
Band: The British indie rock band The Kooks

"Into Me" (Ep. 3): This was pretty funny, because of its awkwardness. Hunter is very much a Seth Cohen-type dork, who knows everything about a specific topic (Seth = Comics, Hunter = Music), but nothing about girls...at all.
Band: The American power band The Broken West

"Shoegazed" (Ep. 4): I didn't really like this one because it made girls seem like they dress to impress guys, when a majority of the time we're just trying to not look homeless next to all of the other girls in the bar. But I did like the line one of the girls spouted after seeing a hot guy from across the bar: "Woa! Major! Name and band please?" That's such a groupie slash musician-banger thing to say.
Band: The British rock band The Duke Spirit (which reminds me of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

"D-List" (Ep. 5): Chambers gets shut down in front of a couple of hot, vapid, fame-whoring chicks, and while that's pretty hilarious in general, it's nothing new from this actor. Must he always play the douche?
Band: American ectro band Passion Pit

"Two Bathrooms" (Ep. 6): They were trying to cross-cut bonding moments between Hunter+Syd and Deb+Callie, where they talked about romance while they were in the bathroom. Syd apparently laid down some serious knowledge that Hunter was devoid of, and the bitterly dumped Callie suggested that Deb was destined to hookup with Hunter. Oh and did I mention that the girls--and not the guys--were smoking pot in the bathroom. Yes, all very risque. But interesting? Not really.
Band: British indie rock band Kaiser Chiefs

I'd say just sit back and get musically schooled. You could actually skip the webisodes and just watch the performances. Enjoy!

WATCH the web episodes now!

BUZZ: Bynes on ABC, Stooges Cast, "Phillip Morris" to DVD, Twilight Werewolves, and more

• Amanda Bynes gave feature films a shot, but Hollywood's more interested in T&A than they are genuinely hilarious, young, female leads. So she's resorted to returning to TV for ABC's comedy pilot "Canned." It's about a group of friends, who get fired in a corporate shake-up. Bynes will play a naive, hard-working Midwestern girl.

• I guess Michelle Trachtenberg won't be joining "Gossip Girl" as a regular, since she just joined NBC's medical drama "Mercy," where she'll play a new nurse.

• Wow! I think I've maybe seen one "Three Stooges" episode, but even I would agree that the casting of Sean Penn (Larry), Jim Carrey (Curly), and Benicio del Toro (Moe) as the infamous trio is a little weird.

• Nicole Kidman joins the star-studded cast (Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, and Anthony Hopkins) of Woody Allen's next film.

• And so it begins. 17 Again's stuck-in-a-different-time-period plot has revived the trend and now Disney has greenlit Wouldn't It Be Nice. It's a teen comedy of sorts about two teenagers who want to runaway together, but are magically zapped twenty years into the future and slapped with the reality of their three kids and adult responsibilities. Sounds like it could be hilarious. However, while one of the writers, Barry Blaustein, wrote the classic Coming to America, he also wrote The Honeymooners. And if that isn't bad enough, Paramount is adapting Sarah Mylnowski's young adult novel Gimme a Call, which is about a high school senior who can only make calls to her 14-year-old self after her phone falls into a fountain. With this connection to the past, she could possibly change her present for the better.

• An odd mix of young Hollywood actors have been chosen to helm the crime drama Kill Your Darlings, which is about the murder of David Kammerer by Lucien Carr, "a Columbia University student who had been pursued sexually by Kammerer and stabbed him to death one night while fending him off. Carr, whose friends at Columbia included Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs, dumped Kammerer's body in the Hudson River and spent a couple days deciding whether or not to confess to the murder." While his friends were revolutionary writers, he went to jail for two years and then had a family. Intriguing, no? Struggling newcomer Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland) would play Ginsberg, Chris Evans (Fantastic Four) would be Kerouac, and Brit Ben Whishaw (Perfume: The Story of a Murderer and Brideshead Revisited) would be Carr.

• Alright look, I'm sure with the right resources Catherine Hardwicke could've made Twilight amazing, but the fact is: she didn't. So I don't know why any studio would trust her with another supernatural teen novel adaptation, but she is in talks to adapt Maximum Ride, a series about genetically altered teens who are part human and part bird, and whose enemies are half wolf. I can't wait to see what she makes that look like.

• I never usually want to see horror-themed flicks, but All About Eve sounds pretty damn interesting. "The story centers around a mousy librarian, who has inherited her father's beloved but failing old movie house. In order to save the family business she discovers her inner serial killer -- and a legion of rabid gore fans -- when she starts turning out a series of grisly shorts. What her fans don't realize yet is that the murders in the movies are all too real." Natasha Lyonne (Slums of Bevery Hills) and Thomas Dekker ("Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles") star.

• Maybe it's because I just watched the season finale of "Secret Life of an American [pregnant] Teenager," but I thought the plot of this new rom-com was hilarious: "The comedy follows what happens to the relationship of two male best friends and when the son of one gets the daughter of the other pregnant." Well duh! The father of the daughter kills his friend's son. End of movie...and friendship.

• I think it's straight up bullshit that they're trying to release the dramedy I Love You Phillip Morris, which stars Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor as ex-con lovers, direct-to-DVD. They claim it's too risque, but let's be honest: It's just too gay for them. Sure it has graphic sex scenes, but so do a lot of R-rated teen movies and even crappy rom-coms like Good Luck Chuck, and yet they get released in theaters. You don't want to see it? Fine. But don't hate.

• If I'm not mistaken most Coen Brothers movies are focused on male characters, but their next flick, an adaptation of the western True Grit, will star a 14-year-old girl, who, along with an aging U.S. marshal (please let it be Tommy Lee Jones, simply because he was born-and-bred for that profession) and another lawman, tracks her father's killer in hostile Indian territory.

• You know how when you go out to a club or a bar, you have a wing(wo)man? Well, apparently, when all of your friends get boy/girlfriends, you have the option of using some other single acquaintance who you met through friends as your wing(wo)man. That's the brilliant (note the sarcasm) plot behind Cameron Diaz's next rom-com. No doubt, they'll fall for each other while commiserating about how the other is a great catch.

• Amanda Seyfried must hate her job right now. Her obligation to HBO's "Big Love" has forced her to drop out of the lead role for Zack Snyder's graphic novel adaptation Sucker Punch. Bummer. Or maybe when she found out that Vanessa Hudgens was in it too and that Snyder's Watchmen didn't do as well as expected (it just cleared it's budget with a worldwide gross of $160 mil after 3 weeks in theaters), she just used her day job as an excuse. Ouch.

• The werewolves of Twilight have been cast. Chaske Spencer ("Into the West") will play Sam Uley, and the rest of the beasts will be played newcomers Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon and Tyson Houseman. I love that they're all really Native American. (This would be a perfect time to protest and reclaim America. I mean, you'd at least have the vote of all Twilight lovers, which by ticket, book, magazine, and DVD sales counts as a majority of America.)

• It seems Zac Efron is no longer interested in doing Footloose or any musical for that matter. He probably thinks it's time to put on his serious actor face. You know, do something like an adaptation of Ben Sherwood's The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud. It's a drama about "a caretaker at a cemetery who manages to have weekly meetings with a younger brother whose accidental death he feels was his fault." Break out the tissues.

TV NEWS: "Worst Week" & "Trust Me" Cancelled, models cast on "Beautiful Life," and more

• It was announced earlier this week that Kyle Bornheimer, the lovable fuckup of CBS's "Worst Week," was cast in one of the lead roles of ABC's untitled Ricky Blitt ("Family Guy") comedy pilot. He plays a needy bff to Eric Christian Olsen (Fired Up), who is a financier and a hopeless romantic. Alyssa Milano and Kelly Stables ("Two and a Half Men") also star. Reports are saying that this role plays second fiddle to his current role, and will only be viable if "Worst Week" were cancelled. Please don't. It's hilarious!!! Way way way funnier than "Rules of Engagement."

• Cutie Jon Foster ("Life As We Know It") returns to TV to play the younger man who knocks up Jenna Elfman's older character in CBS's "Accidentally on Purpose."

• Joss Whedon has wraught something unholy. After the success of his web mini-series, "Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog," ABC must've been overcome with the notion that we were all dying for a comedic version of "Heroes," because some genius conjured up the pilot "No Heroics." It basically follows around a bunch of B-list superheroes, who hang out at a bar. While that didn't sound too bad at first, I then read Freddie Prinze Jr. ("Freddie" and Scooby Doo) was going to play the team leader's nemesis, Ultimatum, an A-list superhero, who is a "handsome, cocky and egotistical Alpha male who has all the women and fame and money a guy could want." Um, k.

• Oh, thank God someone canceled that horrible attempt at a dramedy on TNT, "Trust Me," and freed up Eric McCormack ("Will & Grace") to return to multicamera comedy where he thrives. He's been cast on Tad Quill's ("Scrubs" and "Spin City") half-hour pilot. He'll be working with Constance Zimmer, one of my favorite little firecrackers from "Entourage." McCormack will play a heart surgeon with a new baby opposite Reno Wilson ("Blind Justice" and "Heist"), who'll play his polar-opposite bff, a contractor with a new empty nest.
[4/11/09 - Ok. NOW it's official. "Trust Me" has been canceled.]

• Sara Paxton (The House on the Left), Ashley Madekwe ("Secret Diary of a Call Girl"), and newcomer Nico Tortorella will join Mischa Barton on the model series "A Beautiful Life." Paxton plays a Midwestern girl, who's getting her 15 seconds of fame in the Big Apple. I pray Barton is the bitch who bursts her fantasy bubble. Oooh, and how about a "Gossip Girl" crossover episode. Blair could corrupt her, Jenny could style her, and Vanessa could document it her Serena-like downfall. Oh yeah, and Elle Macpherson will play the owner of Focus Models, an 80s supermodel who runs her agency with an iron fist.

TV REVIEW: NBC's "Kings"

I'm pretty up-to-date on things, I think. But sometimes, no matter how many plot reviews I read of a series, I don't get what a show is about until I see it for myself. For "Kings," not even the commercial promos helped in deciphering its agenda. But as it unfolded, I slowly (very slowly) understood where it was leading.

Every critique on the series has mentioned the biblical allusions to the story of David and Goliath. Christopher Egan (Resident Evil: Extinction) plays the David in question and the war tanks of the opposing nation represent Goliath. How very interesting--a series that starts off as an unbelievably expensive Army recruit ad. We're first introduced to David as a sweet-hearted kid with six brothers and a worrisome mother. Then we're skipped ahead two years to watch him dominate the battlefield alongside his brother Eli. One night they are informed that a squadron of their troops was captured. While the rest follow the orders to not venture off alone on a suicide mission to save them, David restlessly wanders off in the middle of the night to sneak up on what he believes to be a tent full of the captured soldiers. Instead, what he finds are just two--one partially injured, with his face obscured by a bandage. When a Goliath spots them escaping, the two captured soldiers run off, while David plays decoy. Noble gesture. He ducks behind a barricade. Smart move. Then we see him--from his brother's night-vision zoom camera perspective--leap out from the pit and stand tall before the canon of the Goliath. Fearless. [Place huge American Army emblem here.] It isn't until much later in the 2hr premiere, when Eli is dying after an ambush sparked by the king's decision to forgo the peaceful treaty that was fought for and agreed upon, that David reveals to him that he only stood up to surrender.

That bandaged war prisoner was the king's son Jack (Sebastian Stan from "Gossip Girl" and The Covenant), the next in line. The city worshiped David, called him a hero, and nearly hoisted him on their shoulders for praise. But all he could think was: "Everyone thinks I'm brave, but I'm not. I surrendered." Eli's last sputtered words were: "Be brave now." It was then that the real attraction of the series was revealed: David's journey to the crown. And his first speech as would-be king, which he made on the front lines, weaponless, truly standing tall before three Goliaths, in broad daylight while gripping a bloody sheet, sent goosebumps from my wrists to my ears:

"You want blood? Come here and take it! It's fresh! Still warm from the life that just left it--the blood of my brother. So take it! Take his blood and call it enough! If you need more, take mine. Do it! I surrender! Shoot me and call that enough! Or can one of you come down here?...and show me your face? Show me that you're more than tank, metal, and shell...that you're human, like we are. That you breathe, that you bleed, that you feel, and feel pity. That you live for more than our death. Come, any of you who have lost a brother. Come and tell me it's enough."

Woa! I suppose I shouldn't have expected that to be in the first hour. It was the set up--the prologue to an epic tale. It was where King Silas made a laughable speech to the multitude about how he knew he would be king, how a crown of living butterflies had settled on his head. I mean, he sounded like a cult leader. But he had to say it, so that when it happened to David in the end, the ire in King Silas' eyes would be crystal clear.

For the same reason, we had to watch the scene that takes place two years before he joins the war, where David fixes Reverend Samuels' car (Eamonn Walker from "Oz") and pays him with an expensive broken watch, so that we are led to believe that the eerie looks he was giving him were in some way linked to his belief that he would one day rule. No matter how surprised everyone is of David's courage and abilities, he is never shocked. It's as if he's already seen what has been written. Even he had incredible dialogue at one point. King Silas has been fighting the neighboring nation, Gath, and hoping for peace so that the soldiers could come home. (Hmm, like ours?) But after his brother-in-law, who controls a resounding majority of the nation's finances, refused to allow the war to come to an end, since it was so profitable, he agreed to take Gath by surprise during their truce and invade. The Reverend strongly opposed this--and pretty much everything the king does, as did most religious figures of the past--and he spoke frankly:

"Since you have cast aside the word of the Lord, he has cast you aside as king. He grants you no more favors. He protects what you love no more. God wishes a man after his own heart. You have none. He will find another."

Me thinks he already did. King Silas and his brother-in-law are fighting what they call the Unification Wars, but what they really want is to dominate. The king wants it so bad that he was the one who ordered the captured squadron's backup to retreat, leaving them for dead. With their deaths, he would get the approval he needed from the people to retaliate with full force, instead of only reacting to attacks. Granted, he didn't know his son was in that particular squadron, but he did still try to forfeit the lives of his own people for what he believed to be the greater good. In the beginning, we were led to believe that King Silas would risk his life and authority to save his son, since he refused to negotiate with "terrorists" until he discovered his son was one of the hostages. He even went so far as to board a helicopter to the front lines and ride with him all the way to the hospital. However, in the second hour it was unceremoniously revealed just how much he loved his son. Not only did he "graciously" turn a blind eye to the fact that Jack was secretly bedding male lovers, but he never had any intention of ever giving him the crown because of it. His rejection was cold and jarring: "You cannot be what God made you--not if you mean to take my place."

Oh and if you think he's more of the daughter-spoiling-type dad, think again. While he does treasure Michelle (newcomer Allison Miller) and defend her honor when she's caught kissing David on the street by photographers, he treats her just like anyone else when she attempts to get health bills passed in court. He sees her as a future trophy wife, not a policy changer. Luckily, David doesn't pigeon-hole her as much, and I think that's because--besides the fact that he's the charming boy-next-door type--she doesn't pigeon-hole him either. I wouldn't say that their love is going the epic route, but it'll definitely get interesting. See, we're watching King Silas as he is now, at the end of his reign. But we are to presume that if the butterflies really did land on his head, he must've at one point had David's morals. How long before David turns into Silas? What will be the temptations that take him down that road? And what will he give up along the way? We've already seen that King Silas' brother-in-law helped him rise to the crown in return for giving up his mistress, who he has a five-year-old boy with. We saw how quickly a threat to his crown will persuade him to tread another year on the front lines. We're witnessing the final collapse of a broken man...or are we?

King Silas seems hell-bent on keeping his crown. After the stunt David pulls--pleading for peace for the second time on the battlefield with his rousing speech--the king's previous words made even more sense: "This court needs a new face to look up to. We can use him." But how long before he's of no more use? The previews for the entire season suggest he'll be marked for dead eventually. And with the nefarious brother-in-law offering Jack the throne should his father continue to allow peace, I see an all-out war brewing, minus the guns and the bloodshed...for the most part.

Character-wise, the series isn't half bad. I didn't think Egan would hold my attention for long. He seems bland and generic, unlike Stan, who often seems weary and tortured in many of his roles. But Egan managed to shine brightly on the screen, especially during that speech. Heck, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have realized that during the entire premiere we were never shown what a Gath citizen even looked like. Normal. Human (that's good, lol). But how long before the secret messages about our present day war begin to get tiresome? I hope not any time soon. I hope it gets to "Gossip Girl"-levels of dramatic with a little action thrown in for good measure. I mean, in just two hours, a son was outed, a pint-sized illegitimate heir to the throne was revealed, a forbidden romance was ignited, a war was ended twice, and two backstabbers were unveiled. Now that's drama!

TRAILER: Krasinski & Rudolph in "Away We Go"

Have you ever realized that you're going to love a movie just by the trailer?

Man, I love this movie. Granted, Maggie Gyllenhaal will probably ruin it for me, but the idea of a married couple (SNL's Maya Rudolph and The Office's John Krasinski) going on a cross-country trip to look for a new place to settle down with their new family is both heartbreaking and depressingly funny. Love it.


Release Date: June 5th (limited)

TV NEWS: Mischa Barton's New Series "A Beautiful Life"

I wish I could go back to the days when I wasn't aware that fan-worshiped TV actors eventually grow tired of their small-time stardom and try to venture off into film by unceremoniously ditching their series (*cough*Katherine Heigl*cough*). It's that sort of disrespect that eventually puts a smile on my face when said actor doesn't quite make it in the big leagues.

Less than three years ago, Mischa Barton was one of those ungrateful actors. Maybe "The O.C." wasn't a challenge for her anymore, but by encouraging its creator to kill her off, she destroyed one of the best teen dramas to hit the small screen since "Dawson's Creek." These days, most actors settle for juggling a film and TV career, like Jason Segel ("How I Met Your Mother" to Forgetting Sarah Marshall), Blake Lively ("Gossip Girl" to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) and Matthew Fox ("Lost" to Vantage Point). Some do so in order to test the waters and see if they're bankable, knowing full well that perhaps their charisma and charm won't translate as well to the big screen. Those who delude themselves into thinking they're clearly meant for greatness, however, fall flat on their face and end up right back on TV.

So what did Mischa settle for, after not 1, but 6 completely ignored films that were released? The CW's drama pilot "A Beautiful Life," which "revolves around a group of models living together in a co-ed residence in New York." "Top Model" with a better script? I think Mischa's found her calling. I've always thought of her as a better model than actress, and in this series she'll play "a supermodel and veteran of the high-fashion circuit who is struggling to keep on top and is in danger of slipping." I'm assuming unless some scandalous shit happens or there are a crapload of A-list cameos/guest-stars, I'll lose interest in it as quickly as I did the "The Hills."

Mischa still has several films in the works for the next two years. She's already wrapped up two horror flicks (Homecoming and Walled In), an Indian drama called Bhopal: Prayer for Rain about a natural disaster that killed thousands with Kal Penn (Harold and Kumar) and Martin Sheen (and yes Indian people), and the indie drama Don't Fade Away about a struggling musician. She's about to start filming the corny teen comedy The Science of Cool with Jeremy Sumpter ("Friday Night Lights" and Peter Pan) and the indie drama Upstate with Chace Crawford ("Gossip Girl").

Update: Corbin Bleu (High School Musical) is also starring.

BUZZ: Julia & Jesus, Taylor Kitsch's next project, Twilight's newest director, and more

• Julia Roberts is producing Jesus Henry Christ, a comedy based on Dennis Lee's Student Academy Award-winning short film, which tells the story of "a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. At the age of 10, he decides his mother's love is not enough and begins to follow a trail of Post-It notes stuck around town hoping it will lead him to his biological father." Lee will write and direct. This should be mighty interesting.

• Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence, and Chris Rock are teaming up for the remake of the comedy Death at a Funeral. Also on the roster are Loretta Devine, Ron Glass, Danny Glover, Regina Hall, James Marsden, Zoe Saldana (Guess Who) and Columbus Short (Stomp the Yard).

• Hugh Grant found a new leading lady. Sarah Jessica Parker will play his estranged wife who he witnesses a murder with in Did You Hear About the Morgans? They are shoved into a witness-protection program and comedy ensues. Elisabeth Moss ("Mad Men") will play her OCD executive assistant.

• I'm always excited to see what project a TV star chooses for the beginning of their feature film career. Taylor Kitsch (Riggins from "Friday Night Lights") first signed on for Wolverine, where he plays Gambit, and now he'll be in the indie The Bang Bang Club with Malin Akerman (Watchmen) and Ryan Phillippe. They'll play four combat war photographers who document the "final bloody days of white rule in apartheid-era South Africa." Hmm, Kitsch is getting deep.

• I'm getting increasingly uninterested in Robin Hood as the cast members are announced. I was cool with Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett headlining, but Scott Grimes ("ER"), Kevin Durand ("Lost"), and a Canadian folk-rock singer Alan Doyle as Robin's merry men. Are you kidding me?

• Apparently someone found the latest Indiana Jones incarnation enjoyable, since they've greenlit the adaptation of 1968's Chariots of the Gods, which "explores evidence that different ancient civilizations were visited by extraterrestrials." As long Indiana Jones doesn't discover this hidden truth, it sounds awesome.

• Spaniard director Juan Antonio Bayona (The Orphanage) will be directing the third film in the Twilight series.

• First they cast a new kid, Alexander Skarsgard ("True Blood"), as Thor and now they're thinking of casting Josh Hartnett as the villain, Loki. Riiiight!!! Next!

• The good news is Scarlett Johannson will play Black Widow in Iron Man 2. The bad news is she took a huge paycut, and signed on to reprise her role in whatever incarnation it appears in all Marvel films. That was not a genius move.

TV BUZZ: Simpson, Bell, & Ulrich's New Shows, Third "Eastwick" Witch, "Betty" Exit, and more

NEW SERIES CASTING
• According to Ausiello, Ashlee Simpson will play "small-town girl Violet, a character whose disarming naiveté masks the calculating, shrewd sex kitten within. In other words, the little tramp's Sydney."

• Candace Cameron Bure ("Full House") will play a soon-to-be step mom in ABC Family's new summer drama "Perfect 10," which is about "a group of teen Olympic gymnastic hopefuls."

• Um, how is it that Tyler "Sock" Labine has another job? He was just cast in the lead of FOX's new comedy "Sons of Tucson." Three kids hire him to pretend to be their dad while their real dad is in prison, presumably so they aren't separated by foster care. So if "Reaper" gets canceled, he has a backup plan.

• The Brit who played Anne Boleyn in "The Tudors," Natalie Dormer, scored the lead in FOX's latest drama "Masterwork," where she'll play an MI5 agent who teams up with a male FBI agent to recover artifacts. I don't think FOX realizes it already has this show...and it's called "Bones."

• I'm not sure why, but I guess when Drake Bell ("Drake & Josh") realized he wouldn't be a movie star or a music legend, he settled for another series. He's been cast as the lead of CBS' comedy "The Fish Tank." It's about "a suburban teenager living alone in his family's house." That sounds riveting.

• Rebecca Romijn will join Lindsay Price ("Lipstick Jungle") and newcomer Jaime Ray Newman to complete the magical threesome of ABC's drama "Eastwick," and Sara Rue ("Less Than Perfect") will play Price's bff.

• Skeet Ulrich ("Jericho") returns to CBS to star in the drama "Back," where he'll play a guy who returns home after his family reported him missing eight years ago because of 9/11.

• I guess with the graduation of several characters on "Friday Night Lights," Minka Kelly's (Lyla) services are no longer required. She was tapped for the lead in a new CW drama called "Body Politic." Along with Jason Dohring ("Veronica Mars") she'll play "optimistic up-and-coming staffers" in Washington. She'll play a small town girl who goes to DC to take a job for her long-lost dad, the new Attorney General, after her mother dies, and Dohring will play a reporter for the Washington Post.

• Valerie Cruz ("Dexter") was join "True Blood" to play Isabel, an elegant Hispanic vampire.


SPOILERS
• "Ugly Betty": This is Christina's (Ashley Jensen) last season. She was just cast in the new CBS comedy "Accidentally on Purpose." She plays second banana to Jenna Elfman ("Greg & Dharma"), a "San Francisco movie critic who finds herself 'accidentally' pregnant after a fling with a much younger man."

• "Chuck": Before the end of the season, we can expect multiple weddings, a death, Morgan quits the Buy More, Chuck meets his dad, "Chuck and Sarah are going further than they ever have before," Bryce comes back, and "a game-changing twist that will (hopefully) launch the show into season 3."

• "Prison Break": Some of our old favorite characters return, like C-Note and Sofia, Michael destroys the Company, and he has to choose between saving his sister and saving Linc.

• "The Mentalist": "Something happens at the end of [the episode] that will change the way you look at Patrick."

• "Fringe": Olivia digs deeper into her past to find about the experiments that were done to her as a child, and discovers a guy who had t]he same experience. Unfortunately, he can't control the side effects.

• "90210": We won't be seeing Harry's real son this season.

TRAILER: Mysteries of Pittsburgh

Jon Foster (The Door in the Floor), Peter Sarsgaard, and Sienna Miller star in the adaptation of Michael Chabon's Mysteries in Pittsburgh. Don't be misled, it's not a mystery. It's actually a dramatic rom-com about a complicated love triangle that doesn't take the twist you'd think it would. Instead of getting pummeled by the boyfriend (Sarsgaard) of the girl (Miller) he's heavily flirting with, he gets courted. They both want him and he...doesn't know what he wants. His girlfriend (Mena Suvari from American Beauty) and gangster dad (Nick Nolte) are trying to steer him back on the right path post-college graduation, but he's hellbent on paving his own road.

TV REVIEW: ABC's "Castle"

The last time Nathan Fillion ("Firefly") was in a successful TV series was back in the late 90s' "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place." Since then, he's bounced around from TV to film never really headlining anything hailed by the critics. That might change with ABC's "Castle." After all, he has the killer formula: police procedural + smart ass non-cop crime solver + annoyed female counterpart + loads of sexual tension. That's pretty much the makeup of at least three shows ("Bones," "The Mentalist," and technically "Life") already on television. What it really comes down to is whether Fillion can summon the right amount of chemistry with his costar Stana Katic (Quantum of Solace and The Spirit).

Fillion's character, Richard Castle, is introduced as a rambunctious, best-selling, fiction writer who is being hounded by his publisher (and ex-wife) to submit his next manuscript, which is several weeks late. He killed off his most famous character and is crippled by writer's block, which is ultimately cured by Katic's character Detective Kate Beckett. She requested his consultation on a case where an alleged copy cat killer was paying homage to his crime novels. Once the case was solved--I'm glad they didn't drag it on all season--Castle realized that his new inspiration came in the form of a spunky, no-bullshit female with a cloudy past. He gathered--just by looking at her, a la Mentalist--that she's very well educated, grew up in Manhattan, and is driven by the fact that someone she cared about was murdered by someone who was never caught. So with the permission of the mayor, he will trail her on every case and profile her for his new novel series, which, of course, she's not excited about.

I think it'll be interesting to watch how they work together though. In this episode, they examined the case from two different perspectives. While she went the traditional cop route, he picked at it from the position of a person who was telling a story--always look for the better plot scenario. It isn't just that a guy kills his sister and frames her patient to become the sole heir to their ailing father's fortune. It's also that that ailing father never respected him and refused to pay his mounting debts. Tada! Motive.

It's also refreshing to see a non-cop investigator get excited about doing cop tasks. Patrick of "The Mentalist" and Brennan of "Bones" hardly get excited about the police aspect of investigating. Ok, so occassionally Brennan insists on handling a gun, but Richard was absolutely ecstatic about apprehending the killer.

While Kate is a bit of a mystery--aside from the fact that she's actually a secret Castle fan--Patrick's life is very much an open book. His super old mother is on the prowl for a new hubbie, and she uses what she refers to as "graydar" to find the single ones. His teenage daughter is a dedicated student, who doesn't live the wild and crazy life that her father wants her to. He's the kind of guy who gets arrested so often that he has the mayor--a fan--on speed dial. He's even the kind of guy who's honored to have a copycat killer. It's like Kate said, "He is a like a nine year old on a sugar rush--totally incapable of taking anything seriously."

They work well together, but like every police procedural, the cases can become tedious.

FILM REVIEW: Watchmen

CHARACTERS
• Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) was the only Watchmen of the newest generation to completely sell out. He revealed himself to the public so that he could become the Lex Luthor of the 80s. He's extremely fast and strong, and supposedly the smartest man in the world.

• Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) was transformed by a nuclear science experiment that basically made him a naked, man-shaped ball of energy that can move things telepathically, see into his own future, show people memories and visions, and teleport people and objects. He has a God complex and doesn't really feel any connection to the human race.

• Night Owl (Patrick Wilson) was a tech-geek who has owl-vision goggles and an owl-themed plane called Archie. He retired from the superhero business after he felt unwanted by the people. It rendered him impotent and he could only perform after he put the suit back on. He's also madly in love with the young Silk Spectre.

• Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman from The Heartbreak Kid and 27 Dresses) is...a hot girl who can kick ass. She's in love with Dr. Manhattan, but settles for the less complicated Night Owl.

• The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is actually the iconic Neanderthal, a Hustler-loving, whisky-drinking, cigar-smoking brute who has no qualms about hitting, murdering or sexually harassing-women, and is deluded enough to believe that raping the woman (Carla Gugino as Silk Spectre) he is in love with is a smart idea. But at the end of his life, he was quite remorseful.

• Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) is a private investigator who wears an ink-covered cloth over his head that appears like an ever-transforming inkblot. He calls the mask he wears his face, so much so that when he's arrested and they take it away, he screams "Give me back my face!" He's the first to question the mysterious murder of the Comedian. By day he poses as a hobo carrying a sign and by night he investigates his murder.


FAVORITE PARTS
• The former Night Owl (Stephen McHattie) works with "obsolete models," a nod at his feeling of displacement.

• I loved the part when Rorschach told a child murderer, "Men get arrested; dogs get put down!"

• My favorite visual trick that Zack Snyder (the director) did was during Rorschach's prison break. He went into the bathroom to kill a dwarf thug, ironically named Big Figure, and the camera slowly eased closer so we could peak through the door as it progressively swung slower. It eventually closes and Rorschach comes out with a flushing sound. For a few seconds, you assume he only roughed him up, until you see the blood spill out from under the door like water. For a film that shows so much violence, it's incredible when it leaves things to the imagination.

• Dr. Manhattan tried to profess his undying love by telling Silk Spectre that her birth was like "turning air into gold." Honestly, it's better than what most romantic declarations sound like.

• I love the happy face crater left on Mars when Dr. Manhattan and Silk Spectre departed. Nice touch.

• It was interesting how he put Mad Max and Flash Gordon on the TVs in the background of Ozymandias' lair.

• I love the part when Ozymandias said, "I'm not a comic book villain," scoffing at the idea that he would ever tell them his master plan if he thought they could stop him.

• With his new value of life, Dr. Manhattan endeavors to go to a different planet and create life. I wonder what he'll create.


ERRR...
• I could've done without the antelope zebra siberian tiger concoction.
• I wish we could've seen more cities destroyed. It's not that I wish destruction on any other city, it's just DC and New York are the most demolished cities in film, so I would've liked to see what a broken Eiffel Tower looks like.
• Oh yeah, and I think I could go a lifetime without ever seeing a blue penis again...while sitting next to my father...for two and a half hours. Thank you very much!


TWISTS (spoilers)
• The Comedian ends up being Silk Spectre's dad. He didn't succeed in raping her mom, but she eventually submitted to him.

• The Comedian may have been the most immoral superhero you'd ever meet, but when he was faced with the task of murdering millions of people in several major cities, he refused, which is why Ozy killed him.

• I love that Rorschach had principles--"never compromising in the face of Armageddon"--and refused to go along with Ozymandias' plan, so much so that he submitted to death at Dr. Manhattan's hand, taking off his mask (dying as himself--nice touch), and leaving an ink blot blood stain in the snow.

• Ozymandias' plan of framing Dr. Manhattan was genius. What better way to make two enemies stop aiming at each other than to give them a different target--a common enemy. While technically it is a noble endeavor to take on the responsibility of sacrificing millions to save billions, it's still the same philosophy that fuels war--soldiers die so that we may live--which is not a philosophy that I share. However, in the end, the truth was that the world didn't need heroes, it needed an incredible villain, and Dr. Manhattan--a cryptic and untouchable figure--was the best.

ALBUM REVIEW: Kelly Clarkson's "All I Ever Wanted"

When Kelly Clarkson's comeback was announced and her first single, "My Life Would Suck Without You," hit the radio waves, I wasn't really impressed. It's her fault. With hits like "Since You Been Gone" and "Miss Independent," she's set her bar pretty high, which is probably why everyone considers her third album, My December, a failure. I didn't particularly enjoy it, and apparently neither did the critics.

But Clarkson hasn't resurrected her career so she can be a people-pleaser. Yeah, there are sure-fire girl power tracks on All I Ever Wanted, but there are also a few experimental songs that allow her to have a little fun. My favorite part of her album are her collaborations with Katy Perry and Ryan Tedder from OneRepublic--I just love the idea of collaborations in general.

If you don't want to risk the chance of being disappointed by her latest effort, then enjoy this helpful track guide:

• Songs you can belt out: the ballad "Cry" and the blood-pumping, deluxe edition track "Can't we go back"

• For Paramore/Avril Lavigne lovers: "Don't Let Me Stop"

• For Pink and Gwen Stefani fans who are fond of Blondie's attitude and the electric guitar: "All I Ever Wanted" and the super-catchy "Whyyawannabringmedown" (this should be her next single)

• If you love Ryan Tedder from OneRepublic, then listen to the tracks he co-wrote with Kelly: the ballad "Already Gone," the very Britney-Gaga upbeat dance song "If I Can't Have You," and the inspiring "Impossible." There's also one he wrote with someone else: "Save You" and an extra track on the deluxe album called "Tip of my Tongue."

• For fans of Katy Perry's lyrics: the girl-power anthem "I Do Not Hook Up" and the chant-worthy "Long Shot."

• If you want to hear the closest Kelly will ever get to R&B: "Impossible" and "Tip of my Tongue."

• If you want to hear a cross between Natasha Bedingfield and Kate Nash country-style: "Ready"

• If you want to hear a modernized 50s pop slash Duffy-type Kelly: "I Want You."

All in all, I think it's better than the last album. I could probably play "WhyYaWannaBringMeDown" all day.